Shades of Gray
by bookwormwithanattitude
Summary: Just a bunch of missing moments and one shots from the five Titans. Starting with how they came up with the name Teen Titans and formed the team after the events of Go! Warning: was written by a high schooler. I have improved slightly.
1. Beginning

"I feel vastly uncomfortable, Robin," the orange skinned alien whispered.

"It's okay, Starfire…it's just restaurant."

"I am unsure of what…to do…"

"If you have any questions, just ask me. I'm waiting for the others."

Robin looked down at his notebook, where he had noted each of the heroes.

Cyborg 

_Powers: Cybernetic enhancements, include enhanced strength, sonic analyzer, sonic cannon, rest unknown._

_Personality: Seems laid back, but somewhat bitter. Eager, confident._

_Past: Accident made him a Cyborg?_

_Raven_

_Powers: Telekinesis, teleportation, flight. Suspect she has other powers as well._

_Personality: Seems shy, quiet but intelligent. Showed slight impatient/sarcastic streak though._

_Past? Appears to have non-human parentage, at least partly. Said if I knew what she really was, I wouldn't want her along?_

_Beast Boy_

_Power: Shape shifting into animals_

_Personality: eager, wise cracking, hyperactive, insecure (?)_

_Past: mentioned "Doom Patrol"._

_Starfire_

_Powers: Energy blasts (starbolts), enhanced strength, flight_

_Personality: dangerous when angered, forward, upfront, confident. But also very happy and enthusiastic._

_Past: From "Tamaran" was taken into slavery by Gordanians. Has sister. K'norfka?_

"What are you looking at, Robin?" Starfire asked, pronouncing the words carefully.

"Nothing," Robin said hastily, putting his notebook away. He didn't want Starfire to know that he was taking notes on everyone obsessively.

"Oh, I believe Raven has done the arriving!" Starfire exclaimed.

Robin looked over and saw a portal of black power had appeared on the floor in the middle of the restaurant. It snaked up to reveal the form of a blue-cloaked girl with violet hair. Several people screamed. Raven looked down at her feet and pulled the hood of her cloak up to cover her face in shadow. She spotted Starfire and Robin and floated toward them, wrapping the folds of her cloak tightly around her form.

"Greetings Raven!" Starfire stood up quickly, so that Robin had to grab the table to keep it from skidding across to the other side of the room.

"Hi," Robin grinned at her.

She did not smile back. "Hello."

As soon as she sat down, Beast Boy came bounding into the restaurant, looking as usual like he had drunk a gallon of coffee on his way here. His eyes lit up when he saw the three of them congregated at the table and waved his arms frantically. "DUDE!"

"Oh boy," Raven muttered.

In one leap, the short green teenager was beside them. "Robin! Raven! Starfire!"

"Grecknok, Beast Boy!" Starfire smiled at him warmly.

"Sit down," Robin offered, while Raven merely grunted a greeting, her eyes lowered.

"Dude, it's so good to see you guys again! I've just been hanging out, and I haven't seen anyone in, like, forever!"

"We met for the first time two days ago," Raven pointed out.

"And that's forever!"

Raven snorted and looked down at her pale hands.

Ten minutes later, Cyborg came running in, in another super sized raggedy sweatshirt and jeans ensemble. People glanced at his hulking form as he made his way to the table, and he pretended to ignore it.

"Sorry I'm late, yo, I got held up at work," Cyborg gasped. "Look at y'all! You look great!" He sat down next to Raven, his weight accidentally upsetting the bench like a see saw, so the telekinetic slid into him. "Oops, sorry."

"That's okay," she muttered, scooting as far away from him as possible when the seat settled down and brushing a strand of purple hair out of her face.

A waiter approached them.

"What does everyone want to eat?" Robin asked.

"Soy pizza with mushrooms," Beast Boy said automatically.

"I…wish…er, I shall have what the…Beast Boy…is having…" Starfire looked confused.

"Girl, you do not want 'soy pizza'. Get her a pepperoni supreme," Cyborg told the waiter.

"Hey! She said she'd have soy! It's better for her!" Beast Boy cried.

"I…do not know which is which…" Starfire squinted at the menu.

"Just get her a plain cheese," Robin interjected. "Raven, what do you want?"

"Oh…I don't have any money…" Raven said quietly. "I'll just…"

"It's okay, I'm buying," Robin assured her.

"No…I couldn't…"

"I insist. Don't worry, I have plenty of money."

Raven began to protest again, but Robin shook his head at her.

"Fine," she sighed. "Slice of pizza with black olives."

"You're really payin'?" Cyborg asked. Robin nodded.

"Okay, one pepperoni supreme. Thanks, man."

"I'll have cheese too," Robin finished up for them.

When their pizza came, Robin picked up his slice with a gloved hand and said "Well, I guess you guys are wondering why I invited you here."

"Um…you thought we were hungry?" Beast Boy asked with his mouth full.

"Well, actually, I was thinking…we made a pretty good team."

"That we did," Cyborg agreed.

"So Starfire and I were talking…well, neither of us has any place to go. And I don't think you guys have a place to stay either."

"I have an apartment," Cyborg grunted. "But it gets lonely."

"Yeah. And since this city is so full of criminals, and we all are friends and have super powers, well…"

"We wish to form a team of heroes to protect the city from danger and villainy. Robin says we could build a abode to spend our days and nights in together," Starfire finished for him.

"DUDE! That would be AWESOME!" Beast Boy cried.

"Us? A team?" Cyborg squinted his eyes. "Hmmm…yeah…that could be nice. I like all y'all…we'd have a house?"

"I…don't know…" Raven muttered softly.

"Yeah, a house. We could all have our own rooms, even." Robin said.

"Man, then, I'm in! We made a great team, and it's about time someone protected the city from evil! I'll have a actual USE for all…this…" Cyborg gestured at himself.

"This is wicked! I'm totally in! C'mon, Raven, you hafta join too!" Beast Boy shook her arm. She pulled away sharply. "I…can't…"

"Why not?"

"I told you before, I…you don't want me around."

"Why wouldn't we? You helped us out back there."

"Please, Raven, you helped rescue me from the Gordanians most valiantly. I most certainly want you around, and want you on this team," Starfire urged.

Raven shook her head, looking panicked. " I just CAN'T, okay? It's personal."

"You got something against us?"

"No!"

"You're not giving us a good reason why you can't join," Robin chided.

"Look, I'm not a hero…and I'm not really a team player, okay?"

"You seemed like a "hero" and a "team player" when you saved us from the Gordanians," Robin replied. "You need to give us a good reason…"

"No, I DON'T!" Raven shouted, her hood falling off her head. Her hands began to crackle with black magic and she closed her eyes chanting "Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos…"

When she opened them again, she found four teens staring at her.

"I can't join," she sighed. "I really want to, but I can't."

"But WE want you to do the joining very badly," Starfire persisted. "Please!"

"If you don't join the team, where will you go? You need a place to stay don't you?"

Raven looked uncertain at this.

"Whatever problem you have, we can deal with it. It's fine. You're our friend,' Cyborg assured her. "And we could really use your help fighting evil. You could do good!"

"Really?" Raven said, softening for the first time.

"Really," Robin assured her.

Raven was silent for several minutes, mulling it over.

"…Okay, I'll join."

"YES!" Starfire lunged at Raven from across the table, scooping her into a hug.

"GAAA! Get off me NOW!"

"I am sorry," Starfire said, letting go of Raven quickly, who was very flushed.

"Awesome!" Beast Boy exclaimed again. "Now we need a name!"

"A name, huh?" Robin squinted.

"It should have "Teen" in is, cuz we're all, like teenagers!" Beast Boy pointed out.

"Well, duh," Raven replied

"Teen, huh? I dunno," Robin mused.

"It should have double letters! I like double letters!" Cyborg exclaimed.

"Teen tuh tuh…" Beast Boy sputtered.

"How about Teen Titans?" Raven offered.

"Teen Titans?" the other four said together.

"Yeah…titans are warriors from Greek mythology, or they could be ballistic missiles, or someone with enormous strength, size or influence. All three fit a team of superheroes…and it's double letters."

Robin, Beast Boy, Starfire and Cyborg all stared at her.

She looked down at her feet. "Yeah, it does sound like the title of some hyped up action cartoon. Forget I said anything."

"No, I like the name," Robin said.

"Yeah, I was just thinking that you read too much," Beast Boy chimed in.

"I think the name would fit us very well!"

"Yeah, I like it. So, everyone in favor of Teen Titans?"

"Sure!"

"Yeah."

"Glorious!"

Raven looked surprised. "Uh, yeah, of course."

"Boo ya! We are the Teen Titans!" Cyborg raised his glass of soda to the heavens.

"I thought you were only going to say that once," Raven said.

They decided to build the Titans Tower on the island where the spaceship had crashed. The city had agreed to partly fund them, ecstatic that there was finally someone to keep the villains away. The rest of their money came from Robin mysterious never ending funds. Cyborg also got hold of some money somehow. With Starfire and Cyborg's super strength and fast work, Beast Boy's ability to change into large animals like packhorses, Raven's telekinesis, Cyborg's technical skill and Robin's help, plus a few construction workers, it didn't take long to build the tower. Soon, they were congregated in the living room.

"I absolutely adore our new home!" Starfire twirled around in sheer ecstasy.

"Yeah, look at that big screen TV," Beast Boy drooled.

"It turned out pretty nice," Robin agreed.

"Our first night in our new home!" Cyborg said.

"I'm going to my room," Raven announced.

"Oh, Raven, you must enjoy the home-ness of our T a little longer!"

"No thanks. I need to meditate." Raven drifted out of the room.

That night, all the Titans were in their rooms. Raven was staring sadly at her mirror.

"I will not get attached. I will not," she told her reflection. "I'll just do the superhero thing…and live here…maybe it will make up for…" She sighed. "I'll have to leave before he comes. That's all." She turned back to her reflection. "I will NOT get attached!"

Suddenly four red eyes flared in the mirror, making Raven gasp and jump back. But just as soon as they appeared they were gone, leaving Raven staring only at her own scared reflection.

"No…."

Starfire enjoyed the comfort of her soft bed. After nearly a year sleeping on hard surfaces, freezing and beaten…well, it was best not to dwell on such things. She could not believe it…she had a warm place to sleep, a home…four new friends. It was more than she ever could have hoped for…she suddenly got up and approached the window, looking off into the stars. Her family was broken, but she could make a new one here…everything was so strange here…despite all her blessings, she missed her home planet.

She tried to spot it in the sky, but she could not. It was too far away.

"Goodbye, Tamaran," she said softly in her native tongue, before closing the curtains on the sky.

Cyborg looked sadly down at the cold slab that was now his bed. Sleep was no longer required. He "recharged". He straightened a crooked picture of him making a touchdown. At least he'd found…friends…a place to fit in. Even if he still felt painful and raw…like something was missing. His friends had always commented on his enthusiasm for life…how could he keep it up now that he was only half alive? He felt like a freak. But at least he was in the right place.

"Powering down," he muttered, laying back and feeling more life being sucked out of him every minute.

Robin's room was insanely neat by now, but he kept finding something to dust, something to clean. His room was clean and bright, unlike the dreary adjoining evidence room. Robin liked how things were designed to be bright and cheerful in this tower…it was the exact opposite of his old home. His veins were buzzing with adrenaline. He couldn't wait to try the team out, to catch the first villain…his brain refused to rest. He would show him…he would lead this team, and they'd clean up Jump City. He'd prove himself competent…a leader…forget him. It was in the past. He was a new person. He would make himself an identity outside "Batman's partner."

He finally sat down on his bed, being still for a moment.

"And I don't miss him," he muttered. "I don't miss him at all."

Beast Boy had been in his room five minutes and had already managed to make it a pigsty. Which was okay, since he could, you know, turn into a pig. He was so excited! A new team, so soon! With friends and people his own age, for the first time ever. AND Robin had said if the choice ever came down to saving the teams lives and letting a villain escape, the team's safety came first. "After all," Robin had said. "If we die, then the villain will never be stopped." Ha! He'd show Mento.

The room was silent.

Beast Boy hated silence.

It made him feel alone.

But he wasn't alone! He was on a team.

Beast Boy shrank back on his bunk beds.

Though, technically, right now, he was alone in his room.

Beast Boy shivered.

Dude, it was lonely being alone.


	2. Animal Magnetism

A/N: Got the idea for this one from one of the current Geoff Johns comics, Titans of Tommorrow. The Titans go into the future and meet themselves-but their future selves are kind of freaky. Beast Boy becomes Animal Man, and when Beast Boy is fighting Animal Man, Animal Man splits into two bulls and says _"You cling to your humanity through humor. The animal kingdom is yours to control, yet you ignore it. Stop being so damned ashamed of yourself!" _I thought that was a really cool line and that it made me understand cartoon BB more...I wonder if he's ever afraid his animal side will overtake him, considering how we've seen him give in to animal rage (Things Change anyone?) So I explore the idea here.

Animal Magnetism

_Beast Boy_

I like serious moments. I like to wave at them as they go by unloved. But even I, Beast Boy, Master Prankster, Jokester Supreme and All Around Awesome, can get it a funk sometimes. Yeah, I know, it's hard to believe. And it gets worse. When I'm in a funk, I tend to have, like, _deep _thoughts. Deep for me, that is.

I never liked having deep thoughts.

I usually drown in them.

The funks don't come often. I usually manage to keep a smile going. Because it's my job…someone needs to joke. Or else you like, forget to laugh.

Gah, not ANOTHER deep thought.

Okay, so the last time I got in a funk was after Terra…ugh, I'm not gonna think about that, that was the pits.

But now, I'm in another one…and I'm just lying here…staring at the bottom of the bed above me. Why the heck do I have a bunk bed in the first place? Some mysteries will never be solved.

Why am I in a funk you asked? Cuz of some stupid offhand remark of some stupid offhand villain...some robber lady we were fighting for like, the first time! But she saw me. She saw something I'd barely realized about myself.

Aren't you the animal? Careful, boy, drop that stupid act and you might become one inside as well.

I mean, what kind of line is that?

But it's TRUE.

When I shift, I BECOME an animal. I have the instincts. I have the rage. The cold calculating beast-ness. And, though I never really noticed, yeah, I'm kind of afraid that that's gonna rub off on me when I'm a human.

Like the time I turned into a that…Beast thing. Dude, that was creepy. But I became a total animal. Raven says, like, not really, since I saved her from Adonis, but still…I couldn't control myself…I was completely primal…completely wild…just animal instincts and rage…in me. And that scared me. I never told anyone this, but I had nightmares after that for days. Only Raven understood what I felt, I guess either cuz she's a empath or she was with me when I was the Beast…she'd sit and talk to me about controlling stuff…and she kept saying she was afraid to lose control too. Which made me remember her thing with Dr. Light. I wanted to hear more about it, but she kept breaking off and staring at something I couldn't see. I know now what she was talking about of course. Her dad and stuff. Raven understands about losing your humanity. So does Cyborg. We're similar in that way, I realize now. It's worse for Cyborg…or maybe it isn't. I never talk about my fear of becoming an animal. Cyborg has always faced the idea of losing his humanity head on. He always faces his problems…talks about them. Not like me, I know. I dance around my problems…ignore them and joke around. I really do like to laugh. It isn't just a front. But I overdo it sometimes, cuz I don't want to…cry. Man, does that sound melodramatic. But maybe it's true…or maybe I've just eaten too much tofu. Anyway, yeah, I know I have a problem facing things. I like to pretend everything's okay. Like, with Terra, after she turned to stone, I hardly ever talked about her. And the rest of the team never talked about her around me, I guess they thought I'd be upset. But I heard them talking about her amongst themselves a few times…Raven and Star…Cyborg and Robin…I didn't know why I couldn't join in, what was stopping me…and now Terra's back. And I still can't talk about it.

But Cyborg never had that problem. And that's something I guess I like about him. Cyborg's my best friend, so I should be able to talk to him about stuff. Especially stuff I know he'll understand, like this thing. We did brush on it once, while playing Mega Monkeys 2…or was it 3? Anyway, Cyborg was all kicking my butt, and then he was all "Hey, B, when you turn into an animal, are you still…you?"

And I was all, "Dude, what?"

And he just said, "Do you like, think like an animal? Or you? Do you have a animal's brain?"

"Oh. I sorta…it's like I'm me…and the animal…together…"

"Are you more you or the animal?"

"If I get angry, like, really angry, I'm more the animal….otherwise, I'm more…me."

"And when you're a human…do you still have animal…instincts and stuff?"

"Yeah."

"Really?"

"Yeah. A little bit. And I feel a connection…with the animals…"

"That's kinda freaky, man…doesn't it creep you out?"

That's when I got annoyed. "What is this, the third degree?"

"Hey, I was just curious."

"Let's just play the stupid video game."

"Okay, okay. Prepare to have your butt kicked!"

Cyborg comes by now and then to make sure I'm okay. I can hear his clunky footsteps. Guess I've been here a while. I should get up and bless everyone with my lovely presence. But for some reason, I can't move.

Another time I gave in to the animal side of me was with Slade. Or should I say Slade-bot. Stupid robot. But I'm lucky it was a robot. Or else…ugh. That was so not me. Freaking out on people and beating the crap out of them is Robin's job. Or Raven's. Anyone's but mine. I'm not in to hurting stuff. Okay, for supervillains, I make an exception. Especially Slade. I _so _make an exception for Slade. But I totally believe all things have a right to live. _Especially _animals. I've been animals, and yeah, I've been animals that eat other animals. But after you've been a certain animal, you get a connection to it…and you can't eat it. It would be like eating your pet cat. And I read in this one magazine, that animals are treated totally sucky in the farms they grow in before they die. Which is not cool. I tried to tell Cyborg this, but he put his fingers in his ears and hummed. I told Robin we should make a public service announcement, but he mumbled something about giant robots attacking the city and I could do that myself, people would respond even if it was just me alone. So I totally wrote to PETA, and now they use me on some of their fliers and I got a letter from some hot vegetarian girls…what was I talking about? Oh, yeah. I don't like to kill stuff. But, I thought that robot was Slade. And I mangled it, man. I mangled it so bad…if it had been Slade, it wouldn't have been pretty. If it had been Slade, it wouldn't have been _alive._

I don't want to kill anyone.

Even Slade.

But more than that, when I attacked the Slade-bot, I was an ANIMAL. Pure animal rage. That was all I was. My animal side took OVER me. I wasn't me. And there weren't even chemicals involved this time. The Boy had officially left Beast Boy. And what if that starts happening to me all the time? What if I become an animal 24/7?

I have to keep optimistic…

I have to keep having fun…

Or else maybe…

GROWL.

I scream, but it's just my stomach. Someone knocks at the door. "Beast Boy?"

I walk over there and open the door to find all four of my friends.

"You have been in your room for a prolonged period of time, Beast Boy," Starfire says anxiously. "Is anything amiss?"

"Oh. Uh…no," I say. "Just…fell asleep."

I don't know why I'm lying.

"You're troubled," Raven says shortly. I hate it when she does that.

I shake my head. "Not anymore."

"Not what I sense."

"Well, get your sensors checked or something," I hesitate. "You guys think I'm an animal?"

Robin scratches his head. "Is this a trick question?"

"I mean, when I'm not a animal. Am I an animal?"

"Beast Boy, when you are not in animal form, you are human. Which is, I believe a mammal," Starfire says in a confused voice.

Only Cyborg and Raven seem to get it.

"Nah, B, definitely not. You're like, a pansy when you're not all furry," Cyborg shakes his head.

"You're only a animal when it comes to table manners. And hygiene," Raven says

"Okay…thanks?"

"Anyway," Robin looks from me to Cyborg to Raven. "Um, we were going to have dinner. That's why we came to get you."

"Oh, yeah. I'll come with you."

"Beast Boy is less troubled now," Raven announces.

"Thanks for the update, Raven. I'll meet you guys in the living room," I say.

"Okay…"

They troop out to the living room. I look quickly back to my bed, moving the sheets slightly with the tips of my fingers. When I do, you can see clumsy repair work, coupled with deep, deep scratched on the wood.

"Only with table manners," I sigh. "Huh. I'll show her table manners."

And I leave the bed behind, the sheet falling quietly back into place, covering up the bedpost.


	3. Suited

Suited 

Robin

It all started with a simple conversation. Raven was asking Starfire about her skirt.

"Why do you wear it? It's not very practical."

"Oh, but Raven, I have always worn a skirt. I am most comfortable in one."

"Always?"

"Yes, I can easily maneuver in a skirt such as this. Is my outfit not pleasing?"

"No, I was just wondering. Never mind."

"I _like_ Starfire's outfit," Beast Boy said hyperactively. Robin, suddenly alert to the conversation, glared at him. Beast Boy turned red-on-green. "Uh, I mean…it's, y'know, purple."

"What's the matter, Robin, don't I_you_/I like Starfire's outfit?" Cyborg teased.

"Um, sure," Robin grunted.

"Well, I truly adore all of your clothing choices! Except for Cyborg, who does not wear clothes. But your mechanical suit is most pleasing to the eye!" Starfire cried.

"Um…thanks."

"May I enquire, Raven, as to where you got your outfit?" Starfire asked.

"Oh. Um, well in Azarath we wore robes. Long robes. And white. Lots of white. I never really liked it. When I got to earth, I got this cloak…because I like blue…and I went to this store…and the first thing I saw that was not a skirt was this…so I tried it on…and it was comfortable…then I got my shoes and belt. I didn't realize that leotards weren't everyday wear, really. But it's comfortable, and good for our line of work, so I kept it," Raven finished.

"Fascinating! And Beast Boy, your outfit matched the one of the Patrol of Doom, yes?"

"Yeah, Mento likes things to match. I asked Elasti Girl once if he was OCD. She stammered and then said something in the kitchen was burning…which was weird…because we didn't have a kitchen…"

"Yeah, but what's with the pink?" Cyborg snickered.

"It's not pink, it's magenta!"

"Ooooohhhh...that changes everything!"

"Shut up, Cyborg!"

"And Robin's is…" Starfire paused for a moment.

"Like a freakin' traffic light," Cyborg finished.

Robin turned red. "Hey!"

"Yeah, dude, seriously Robin, why do you dress like that? I mean, Batman dresses in black. All black. And you're like, bright primary colors. Is the costume because you hate Batman?" Beast Boy latched on to the topic eagerly.

"I don't HATE Batman…" Robin began.

"You merely never talk about him and get this weird look on your face whenever we mention him," Raven droned.

"I understand Robin's pain," Beast Boy shivered. "_I_ wouldn't want to live with Batman."

"Okay, can we stop discussing Batman?" Robin cried.

"Okay, then, back you your outfit," Cyborg said helpfully. "Do you just REALLY like Christmas?"

"Robin's an elf!" Beast Boy cried. "A elf in steel toed combat boots."

"Which in approximately five seconds be crushing your skull," Robin snarled. Beast Boy quickly hid behind Raven. Robin felt hot and angry suddenly, as stupid memories edged their stupid way into his mind. "I don't want to talk-"

"Maybe he's attempting to blind the villains," Cyborg interrupted.

"Or maybe he's imitating a demented circus performer." Beast Boy squeaked.

Robin got up very suddenly, jarring the couch so that Raven dropped her book. "I'm going to survey the city."

"Huh? Robin, what is the matter?" Starfire said.

"Okay, we didn't mean to offend you," Cyborg said. "Well, maybe we did, but not DEEPLY."

"It's fine. I just need to be alone," Robin began to stride out the door.

"Look, dude, we're sorry," Beast Boy called.

"It's fine," Robin said again, like a robot. "I just have to check crime. And stuff. Don't worry about it." And he was out the door.

Robin scaled the tops of buildings, looking down at the peaceful streets. He knelt down on the edge of a building, and tugged at his green gloves. No crime to be found here. No. Crime.

Get. Over. It. Said the rational voice in his head, which sounded creepily like Raven. It happened years ago. So they made fun of your costume. They didn't mean any thing by it. Don't freak out on them.

He tugged harder on his glove.

Maybe it's time for a new costume.

No.

Never.

He got up and walked steadily along the edge of the building, until it reached the far side. Then he leaped to the next one, landing on a perfect acrobats tumble. He didn't even have to think about it. It just came so naturally. Robin. The Boy Wonder.

My little robin, always bobbin' along.

_Nine year old prodigy._

_Look, Mommy, it's the Flying Graysons! What funny red and green costumes!_

_If you don't give me the money, I will cause trouble for your little circus. Zucco always makes good on his promises._

_Mother…_

_Father…_

_No…_

_What do you want your name to be?_

_Robin._

_Strange name._

_Well, Bat Boy sounds stupid. I'm not a baseball lackey._

_Are you sure you want this costume?_

_Yes._

_It's very…bright._

_Yes. Yes it is._

The night darkened. Robin tugged his cape around him. The city streets were quiet. Silent. He should go home. He didn't want to brood.

He jumped building after building, going as fast as he could…

He walked in the conference room to find his team mates waiting. Starfire and Beast Boy were asleep on the couch, Cyborg was awake, and Raven was deep in meditation. When Robin came in however, she opened her eyes.

"You guys shouldn't…wait up. I just wanted to check…on the city." Robin said, feeling guilty.

Cyborg shrugged, "Man, we just felt like doin' it."

Starfire awoke, opening her endlessly green eyes.

"Robin? Oh, you are back! Is our city unharmed from evil?"

"Yeah. Guys, seriously, you shouldn't have waited up. I wasn't…I…"

"Don't flatter yourself, Robin. I was just meditating. It had nothing to do with you." Raven droned. Robin couldn't help but crack a smile at this. He knew Raven too well to believe her, and she knew it too.

"We did not believe anything was amiss, Robin, we merely desired your company." Starfire nudged the prone green cat beside her. "Beast Boy! Awaken. Robin has returned."

The cat woke up with a start and transformed back into Beast Boy. "Oh! Hi Robin. We were just waiting…because…we wanted to watch a movie with you…"

"Yeah, what movie?" Robin said, finally giving in.

"Uh…Wicked Scary 3! Yeah!" Beast Boy grabbed the video and stuffed it into the VCR. "Good times!"

Starfire and Beast Boy looked expectantly at Robin as Raven rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, okay," Robin said, sitting down.

"Let the screams begin!" Beast Boy cried. "Raven, are you sure you'll be able to handle this?"

"Will you be able to handle a concussion?" Raven growled.

"Why are people always threatening to do things to my head!?"

As the opening credits rolled, Starfire touched Robin's arm. "I do like your combination of red and green, Robin. Truly, I believe it is very…well suited to you."

"Yeah," Robin smiled. "Yeah…I think so too."


	4. Fault

Fault

Raven

I should have known better than to take Beast Boy to the library. I really should have. But I was in a good mood today and Beast Boy was looking all sad with nobody to hang out with, and my empathic sensors are more open right now because of the whole thing with Cyborg and Beast Boy going into my mind, and THEN switching bodies with Starfire, so I could feel how lonely he was, and couldn't block it out...so I let him come with me. Ugh. SUCH a mistake.

"Heh heh, DUDE, Raven, look at these books on "girls growing up." They are so totally funny, yet so totally HOT! OW!"

I had just smacked him in the back of the head, making him drop the book. "Keep your voice down. And if you want porn, go to the Internet, not the library."

"But there's SO much here! Whhhhoooah…big words…."

"Beast Boy, if you don't shut up, we're going to get kicked out."

"C'mon, Raven, we're SUPERHEROES, they can't kick us out…HOLY FUDGESICKLES! They have MANGA here! I didn't know they had MANGA at the library!"

I grabbed his shoulder tightly, hissing through my teeth, "If you don't want me to forcibly extract you from this library, you will be quiet or you will never see the manga _again!"_

Beast Boy grunted in pain. "Okay! Geez!" I let go of his arm and watched him suspiciously go to the brightly colored comics/manga shelf, beaming at the picture of himself, taped on the wall beside the comics section, along with the rest of us and other various superheroes. He got out a pile of manga and started reading it relatively silently, except for the occasional outburst of racous laughter, and "DUDE!" It's the best I can hope for, I suppose. I turn away and start looking for my books. I'll read anything, as long as it's serious and thought provoking. I do have a preference for fantasy, though I think of it more as realistic fiction, considering what I deal with every day. I browse through, carefully checking and rechecking books to make sure they're good. My fingers brushed the thick spines, and somehow I finally feel calm…without meditating or chanting, walking down the endless rows of knowledge. I allow myself a smile.

Then I see it.

Book of Demons.

Is…

I opened it. He is on the first page.

Azar above, if Beast Boy and Cyborg ever see this…

"Hey, Raven, whatcha doin'?"

I slammed the book shut and spun around to face Beast Boy. "Uh…nothing…nothing…"

"Hey, what's wrong? What's that book you're reading?"

"I _said_ nothing. Let's get out of here!"

"Oh, come on, something's got you upset. Let me see the book…" Beast Boy dodged under my arm. "Book of Demon's?" He picked it up, weighing it's heaviness and began to open it. Panicked I sent a bolt of telekinesis in his face knocking him back about two yards and making him drop the tome.

"What the-OW!" he yells and I grab him by the arms and dragging him forcibly out of the library. "Ow, get off me!"

I grant his wish and drop him on the sidewalk, where he hits the concrete with a smack. I started to walk down the street, breathing heavily. My whole body is shaking.

"Raven, what the heck?" Beast Boy has caught up with me. "Why-?"

I spun around to face him. "I TOLD you not to grab that book! I told you to leave me alone! But you just can't respect my privacy, can you? You went ahead and took it anyway!"

"Raven, what is UP? Why don't you want me to see that book?"

"That is none of your business! Now leave me alone!" My fear has quickly turned to rage, so close was he to finding out my secret. I can imagine the expression of fear on his face if he discovered the red demon in my head was Trigon. I can imagine his hatred, his rage. Why did he have to poke into my business? What gave him the right? Why couldn't he leave me alone? He'd hate me, he's HATE me, even if I do deserve it…

"I thought we'd already been through this Raven! I thought we'd already dealt with this mystery girl stuff!" Great, now he's mad. "But we're doing it all over again. You don't talk to us about anything, and you shut us out and act like a jerk!"

"Leave me alone, Beast Boy…" I walk briskly to keep up with him.

"Why don't you ever talk to us, huh? Are we not good enough for you? You don't trust us or something? Why don't you ever talk about your past? I mean, we watch you roast Dr. Light, and all you can say is "I have issues with my father?" Who was that guy anyway? You never told us about your parents, like a freakin-"

I turn sharply on him, my anger overtaking my senses. "And what about _your _parents, Beast Boy? How come you never talk about THEM? Let me guess. They were the best mommy and daddy you could ever ask for, but alas, they died when you were a little kid and you feel all guilty about it and think it's _all your fault._ People like you always do."

Beast Boy inhales sharply and backs away from me. His eyes shine brightly and I feel a pang of guilt. Why did he have to go poking around? Azar, now I can feel his emotional pain like a bad stomachache. He's really hurting, I must've been right. Great, now he's about to cry.

"R-Raven…why did…did you…" he rubs his face with his glove, and suddenly I feel my eyes filling up too. I turn away from him, but he sees that I am about to cry, I can tell by the way his eyes widen and he looks like he's about to have a heart attack.

"We all have secrets, Beast Boy. You don't ask about my family, I won't ask about yours." And I take off into the air, fast enough so the cold wind dissolves the tears streaming down my face.

Later I sneak into the library and destroy the book. I cover it with power and crush it into confetti. Then I sense someone coming…and who it is. I teleport behind a shelf and watch Beast Boy enter. He scours the shelf endlessly and doesn't find my book. Then he sees one of the pieces of paper littered on the ground. He sighs softly and holds the piece of paper in his palm.

"All my fault," he says, and lets it drift to the floor. He tries to shove his hands in his pockets, then remembers he doesn't have any, then turns into a condor and flies off, leaving me, still hidden in the shadows.

I stay there for a very long time


	5. Understanding

Understanding

Starfire

I know I am naïve.

I know I make the mistakes with my words.

I know there are many things I do not understand.

But there is one thing I do understand,

And that is danger.

I do not think, or talk about it much, but danger has always been a part of my life. Tamaran was always at war with the Citadel in my youth, so I knew danger then. I knew danger in slavery, where each moment I had to struggle to endure…and as a hero, I know the danger now. But in danger, there is always the good people who are there to help, and there is always safe…I try to think of this as I fly at the upper speed through the burning building, as gunshots are heard outside.

I follow the screaming of the small child, rushing through walls of fire. They sting my skin, but have no permanent effect, so I pay no heed. I just follow the child's tortured cries.

Finally I find the small one in a room encased in flame. He is huddled in a corner, sobbing. I fly to him and kneel down behind him. "Finally I have found you, small one! Oh _no!_" I gasp. The child has blackened bleeding gashes all over his body. Robin would call them burns of the third degree. His apparel is blackened and torn too, and he is coughing as he looks at me with his eyes full of tears.

"Oh no, little one, you are so badly hurt!" I cry. "Robin always tells me I should not try to move ones who are injured, but considering our present circumstances, I fear I shall have too. I will be very careful, I promise."

I reach for him and gently pick him up. This is very hard, for me, with my strength. It is of utmost importance that I not harm this child at all, as I am wont to do with my friends when I hug them too affectionately. I must not put any pressure at all on him. I cradle him in my arms. He is lighter than nothing. Beside us a beam falls into the floor. I must get out.

I float into the air, and then pick up speed; my arms arced protectively around my young charge. I must take the brunt of the flames myself; I bat away falling objects like insects. All I can hear as I do so is the small child's ragged breathing. I kick open the front door and finally we are in open air. I float gently to the ground. The child is trying to say something now. I kneel down. "Yes, child?"

"Y-you're a st-tuper hero…" he coughs.

"Yes I am. I am Starfire, a Teen Titan."

"M-my dad says stuperheroes help…us and make…everything…better." He coughs. "He says…they protect…they can do…anything…"

"We can only try," I say.

"I…like…stuperheroes…do you…know…Superman?"

"I am afraid not. My friend Robin does."

"Robin…he's…one of my favorites."

"He is one of mine as well. We must get you medical attention immediately though, I fear, so I must-"

"Y-you're pretty," the little one gasps.

I smile. "Thank you." I pick him up and begin to move.

It is a massive gunfight I must get this little one across. I do no know why, or how people are doing such horrible things, shooting each other and setting buildings on fire, just that the entire Jump City force of police is here, as well as I and my team mates. But the streets are choked with smoke, and when the little boy starts to cough, I know I must get lower to the ground. So instead of flying, I am forced to run across the pavement, the little one clinging to my neck. But it appears I am in a situation of no winning.

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!!!" a broadly built man is clear against all the chaos. He lets out several earth curses and runs like the animal with the horns Beast Boy will transform into at times. He raises his gun and shoots. I believe he is aiming at the man behind me, but instead…

I shield the little one from the bullets, crying out in pain. They do not injure me irreparably like they would an earthling, but they dig painfully into my skin. The man who has shot me's mouth hangs open in surprise. I pull the bullets out of my flesh with a furious cry, leaving red circles of blood, throwing them on the ground so hard they break in halves. _"H'yll myg, zot X'hal chlorbag! Zengtha ru maka kek bumgorf VO!" _ I curse him in Tamaranian, grabbing him by the front of his jacket and throwing him down on the pavement. He then lies at my feet, a crumpled unconscious heap. My warrior's fury dying down, I pull a final bullet from my face and let it fall to the ground.

I turn and pick up the child. "You are…okay, little one?"

He coughs and nods. "You're a good stuperhero…" His voice sounds strained and faint, the words forced out so painfully.

"We must get you to my friends," I tell him, and I run, clutching him to myself. Anyone who gets in my path is knocked aside by a wave of one hand. Eventually, we reach a place free of the smoke, and I take off flying again. The small child clings to my neck. "Star…fire?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks…you're…my new favorite…"

I smile and stroke his hair, flying faster. The wind blows by us swiftly, the night sky is a velvet blanket, as below us in the dark flashed and explosions are heard. The flash orange and red…signs of danger…and I cannot understand how anybody could do these things…what reason is behind it all…

It is the same everywhere it seems.

And I will never know why.

But I must fight it.

For the child in my arms, for my friends, for my city…

I finally spot the Titans below. I rush down to them, holding out the little one. "Please, we must get this child medical attention. He is hurt and very sweet, and he is counting on us…where is a vehicle of transport to the medical facilities? PLEASE!"

The Titans are staring at me as I plead to them desperately. Once more I do not understand.

"Um, Starfire…" Raven says softly, shakily. I look down at the child I am carrying. His eyes are open, but glazed and unblinking. He is absolutely still in my arms. He is…dead.

Wordlessly, I hand his body to Robin and turn to walk away.

"Starfire…" He puts his hand on my shoulder but I shrug it away. Tears are already streaming down my face as I walk robotically back into the fray. There are still others to be saved.

I do not understand some things, like the evils of the world, or what a bowling pin is.

But I do understand danger.

And more than that, I understand my duty.

And right now, I understand hatred.


	6. Decieved

Deceived

Cyborg

"Stone?"

Cyborg looked up from his homework. "Yeah, Jinx?"

"Why did you decide to go to HIVE Academy?" The pink haired witch rested a shiny black boot on Cyborg's bedpost as she lounged on his bed disparately.

"Well, it's the best school for evil doers in the nation-"

"No, I mean…why did you decide to be a villain?"

Cyborg was silent. "Um…just…did."

Jinx scuffed her shoe methodically against the bedpost. "Same here, really. I never knew my parents…I had bad luck powers, so good definitely wasn't an option…I was kind of lost…then the Headmistress found me and suddenly, I had a family."

"What do you mean, you never knew your parents?"

"I think they died," Jinx said. "I can't remember how. All I can remember is being three and being alone, suddenly. What about yours?"

"Oh…my mom died because of one of my dad's crazy experiments. And my dad was a jerk…he thought I was his science project or something, that's how I became like I am…so I ditched him," Cyborg was surprised to find the truth pouring out of his mouth.

"That sucks," Jinx noted.

"A little."

Jinx tilted her head. "I'm glad you're here, Stone. Gizmo and Mammoth are…okay, but you can't talk to them. Gizmo just yammers on about himself, or his inventions, and Mammoth will only talk about food. But you…you get it."

Cyborg turned back towards his homework. "No…not really," he muttered softly.

He missed school dances, he thought blithely. Just like he missed being on the football team, being good in class, being…normal. Of course, nobody was normal here, exactly, he thought as he watch Gizmo scream at the top of his lungs that he "was so pig sniffin' tired of people trippin' over him like he was some crud munchin' foot stool!" But it was really the same. He felt so comfortable here he usually forgot…

"Hey Stone," Angel said. "'Sup?"

"Nothing much, Ang. How are you?"

"Cool. I'm here with Kid Wykkyd."

"Oh. Has he talked to you at all?"

"Nope. But his body language says it all," Angel winked at him and sashayed away.

Yep. Just like high school.

"We're you just talking to Angel?" Jinx sidled up to him angrily.

"Yeah. She's here with Kid Wykkyd," Cyborg said quickly.

Jinx harrumphed. "She is such a slut. Not to perpetuate stereotypes or anything, but she is."

"Hm. I've never heard of a supervillian concerned with perpetuating stereotypes," Cyborg smiled.

"Are you going to babble, or are we going to dance?" Jinx grabbed his hand. And they danced. Jinx was a very good dancer, actually. He probably should have guessed, seeing as she was very coordinated. It was fun, dancing, hanging out, listening to Gizmo whine he didn't have a date, and Mammoth offer to dance with Gizmo, then Mammoth and Gizmo arguing about manliness….

Right before the Homecoming Queen and King were announced, he was talking with See More, and his date, a sassy girl called Bumblebee, though Cyborg noted somewhat jealously that See More seemed to have more of an "eye" for Jinx than the girl in yellow. He went silent as spotlights roved around the gym and Billy Numerous talked into the microphone. "It's a time for the Homecoming King 'n Queen to be announced, y'all! So keep yer britches on cuz the lord and lady of ternight's dance floor are…..JINX AND STONE!

"STONE!" Jinx cried. "We won the Homecoming Contest. WE WON! This is unbelievable!"

"I though you said Homecoming King and Queen was a stupid, shallow popularity contest," Cyborg said.

"And I NEVER win stupid, shallow popularity contests!" Jinx squealed. "Come on!"

And Cyborg couldn't help but laugh as she pulled him to the stage to accept his crown.

His...hand...it had been...so real...he was still staring at it as Brother Blood left the room. God, he had forgotten how it felt to have a real hand...blood pumping through it...alive...but it was gone now.

And it wouldn't be coming back.

Because he was not going to betray his friends.

He flexed his mechanical hand. It would always be this way. His whole life. It was about time he accepted it.

Slowly, he got up, knowing he couldn't take any chanced contacting the Titans, in case Brother Blood sensed it. He knew that if he didn't, though, they'd be here within a day. Which meant he'd be betraying and abandoning the HIVE by tomorrow.

He felt sad about this.

Why? He knew they weren't his real friends. That this wasn't his real school. That they were bad people.

But…they treated him like a friend. At least Jinx did. Despite what she was, he liked her. She had a good personality. How could that be possible?

"Stone?"

Crap. He pressed his ring and transformed back into his alter ego.

"Stone, are you okay? I saw Brother Blood come in here," he heard Jinx whisper outside the door.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Cyborg opened the door to find the slim girl staring at him.

"He didn't do anything to you?" Jinx sighed in relief. "I saw you go in there. You wanted to find out about our new class project was?"

"Yeah…"

"Yeah, I've been wondering too. Did you find it out?"

"No. Brother Blood came in before I could. He'll tell us soon, he says."

"Good. I hope it can get rid of those Teen Titans. Blood won't get off our case about how we let them go. You know, this guy Slade sent us to assassinate them, and we failed?"

"No…" Cyborg said slowly.

"It was so embarrassing. We thought we had them, but then they came back. I _told_ Gizmo, you can't trust a superhero to be dead unless you see the body. So we got sent back a year. Headmistress was _so _mad. And you know what? Slade told her that he never expected us to succeed in the first place! He said we were "messengers" or something! What kind of junk is that?"

"I dunno…"

"Man, I'd like to get my hands on him. Like I'd want to work for some creepy old one eyed guy who lives in a _gear factory _anyway! Humph. Fortunately, he'll never be bothering us again, since that skinny blonde girl finished him off."

"What?" Cyborg stopped dead.

"Oh, this girl, Cara or something, she was a Titan for a while, but it turned out she'd been working for Slade, like us. She betrayed those losers and wasted them all; only I guess it turned out she didn't look for a body either, because they came back. But I guess they convinced her to "change her ways" or something, because she went psycho and threw that Slade in a pit of lava. Then turned to stone. Don't ask me how."

"How do you know this?" Cyborg asked, aghast.

"Everyone knows that. We were there when she destroyed the city. Don't tell anyone this, but I actually felt bad for the Titans, then. I mean, I do straightforward stuff. But to befriend someone, win their trust, make them go all ga ga over you, like that Beast kid did for her, and then betray them? That's low. I don't think I could do that."

Cyborg looked down at his feet.

"Well, enough about those losers. 'Night, Stone."

"…Yeah." Cyborg muttered softly, his hand resting on the doorknob of the door to his room. "Good bye."

Well, it was over.

No more school. No more Stone. No going back.

He looked sort of sadly at the picture frame of him and Jinx at the dance.

You could have been one of us.

_I could have been a lot of things._

But he was what he was.

She was what she was.

He wished he could have reached out to her more. But he was afraid of blowing his cover.

And there was that moment…

It wasn't the same. It wasn't.

He went to shove her picture in his bottom drawer, then hesitated and hung it on his wall.

"Sorry kid," he muttered, looking at the picture of her smiling face. And then he turned away.


	7. Dreams

Dreams

**Raven  
Sunday night 9:00 A.M.**

**Come to me my daughter. Come to me.**

"Raven. What shall we do?" Starfire whispered.

"I don't know, Starfire…I am so, so sorry…"

"It is okay, friend. We shall stop him."

"You don't get it, Starfire. Nothing can stop him. _Nothing."_

"I shall not let him hurt you, Raven. We cannot hide behind this rock forever.

"Starfire!" I cling to the rock desperately, ashy earth settling all over my cloak. "You can't stop him."

"That may be so. But I am a warrior. I must face him. In Tamaran, it would be dishonorable not to do so."

The red sky thunders above us and I here his laughter snaking over the earth. He is here. The air is hot and still. Starfire's eyebrows arch down and her eyes glow a bright green.

"Star…!"

She reaches out to give me a bone-crushing hug. "Goodbye, Raven."

"NOO!"

She flies up over the rock.

"Trigon the Terrible!" she cries. "You shall pay for what you have done to my planet!"

"STARFIRE!" I levitate up as Trigon's laughter rings like a frightening piano crescendo.

"Raven, stay back…"

**Such a brave little Tamaranian girl. Such a naïve stupid little insect.**

"I am not just any Tamaranian girl! I am Koriand'r, princess of Tamaran, just like you are the prince of all that is bad!" Starfire screams in fury and she shoots starbolts at him, buzzing around his massive red body like a fly.

"NO! NO! NO!" I scream, flying toward them. I pick up the rock we were hiding behind with my telekinesis and hurl it at him, but it breaks against his knee like an egg.

**Does this amuse you, daughter? For it amuses me. Let us end this, shall we.**

His four eyes glow a brighter red and he grabs Starfire from the air.

"Let me go, evil one!" she screams, shooting lasers at him. They have no effect whatsoever. "You shall not harm me or my friend!"

**Say goodbye to your friend, Raven.**

"No, FATHER PLEASE-!"

His eyes flash like lightning and Starfire lets out one final high-pitched scream before the red light overtakes her and she…is…gone.

**It seems Tamaran is now short a princess.**

"I HATE YOU!" I cry defiantly with tears streaming down my face, throwing bolt after bolt of black telekinesis at him. He just stands there and laughs.

**I AM you.**

Still laughing he reaches for me

_No._

---

My eyes snap open, and I am alone in my room, panting under the twisted sheets of my bed.

**Robin**

**Monday 12:00 A.M**

I sit in my typical "thinking" position, surveying the people around me. Raven is stirring her tea in a bored sort of way, while Starfire is squirting mustard in hers, Batman is glaring at his teacup as if it has done him a personal offense, and Catwoman is fixing her whip. Alfred is standing with his tray, looking like…Alfred.

"So…you guys are all the people who know me best…" I begin.

"I know you best?" Catwoman asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Actually, I have no idea what you're doing here."

"I saved you from a falling building once," she reminds me.

"Yeah, I know. Now-"

"Why are the Titans who know you best female?" Batman interrupts.

"Ooh, Robin's a flirt," Catwoman purrs.

"I am not!" I cry blushing. "Starfire's my, ah, best friend and Raven and I have a mental connection!"

"That sounds kinky," Catwoman comments.

Batman glares at Starfire. "I don't like you."

"_Batman!_"

"Why does he not like me, Robin?" Starfire asks me in a worried voice.

"Don't worry, Star, he doesn't really like anybody…"

"I don't like you either," Batman tells Raven.

"I'm devastated," she says, sipping her tea.

"See?" I say.

"Master Bruce apologizes for his lack of cordiality," Alfred says firmly.

"No, I don't, Alfred!"

"ANYWAY," I say loudly. "We are gathered here today-uh, why ARE we gathered here today?"

"I think you're trying to seduce Robin," Batman snarls at Star.

"Stop it!" I gesture wildly, but it's too late. Everyone has broken out in pandemonium.

"Would anyone care for more crumpets?"

"Hey, kid, where's the wine?"

"This is pointless."

"Please stop being rude, Batman. I am not trying to seduce anyone."

"Hell, with those clothes, you don't even have to try."

"ROBIN!"

Slade suddenly crashed through the ceiling.

"What the-?"

"COME BE MY APPRENTICE, WHELP!" He screams.

"Who the hell are you?" Batman cried.

"ROBIN IS MINE!" Slade grabs my arm.

"Get your hands off him!" Batman jumps on the table.

"Master Bruce, please use your inside voice-"

"You abandoned Robin, so anybody has the right to take him!" Slade argues with Batman.

"Robin is _my _sidekick, bitch!" Batman cries, tackling Slade. They fall off the table in a flurry of fists and feet.

"On the contrary!" Starfire yells, floating off her chair, her eyes glowing. "Robin is mine! I mean- that is to say- he is ours-our…team leader…RRRARGH!" She jumps into the fray.

"Hey, guys, HOW ABOUT I JUST BELONG TO MYSELF!" I shout.

"I am _so _glad I decided to come to this," Catwoman says, watching the fight with eager eyes.

Suddenly the ceiling collapses plaster and dust raining down, and a bomb flies into the air and explodes, narrowly missing us.

"Ladies and gentlemen! Martial arts experts and butlers! Aliens, half demons and leather clad fetishists! Let's turn those FROWNS upside DOWN!" A familiar pasty face pops out of the smoke.

"Oooh, a demented clown," Raven says. She has not moved from her seat and is still sipping her tea calmly.

"I am MORE than a demented clown, I am the CLOWN PRINCE OF CRIME! I am-hey, who's the one eyed guy?" The Joker looks over at Batman, Starfire and Slade's scuffle.

"That's Slade."

"What's he do?"

"He stalks teenagers then makes them his apprentices," I say in a monotone.

"Oooh, that's-"

"If you say kinky, Catwoman, I swear-"

"APPRENTICE!" Slade screams as he rolls around with Batman.

"SIDEKICK!" Batman shouts putting Slade in a headlock.

"APPRENTICE!"

"SIDEKICK!"

"BLACK AND ORANGE!"

"RED AND GREEN!"

"BLACK AND ORANGE!"

"RED AND GREEN!"

"_Hy'll mygg CHLORBAG!"_

"What did the alien say?"

"I don't know, but you are going DOWN!"

"Not likely! I'M THE GODDAMN BATMAN!"

"Geh!" I put my hands to my head.

"Very well, while the Batman is distracted, I will KIDNAP his ward!" The Joker grabs my arm.

"I am SO tired of people calling me WARD!" I cry, struggling

"Joker! Unhand Master Grayson immediately!" Alfred rushed over. "This is most unrefined.

Raven reached over and grabs my cape so the Joker can't pull me away, without even looking up from her tea. Catwoman laughs.

"Don't make me go old school on your posterior!" Alfred grabs my other arm to pull me back in my seat. "I will not hesitate to bust out some funky moves!"

As the Joker pulls one arm and Raven and Alfred pull the other, the other three scuffle and Catwoman gets up to look for some wine, I get very, very annoyed.

"STOP! I DON'T BELONG TO ANY OF YOU! I AM MY OWN PERSON!"

But Alfred, Raven and the Joker continue to fight over me, tugging me in opposite direction harder and harder, until I'm afraid they are going to rip me apart. Then-

---

Robin's masked eyes snapped open, and he found himself in his clean dark room. He thought back to that dream he had just had.

"I should have never let Cyborg and Beast Boy talk me into that pizza eating contest," he said, lying back down.

_I'm the goddamn Batman._

Yeah. He must never mention this to ANYONE.

**Starfire  
Monday 2:00 PM**

The sun bathes over me as I sit content on the grassy hill with Robin. I look over at him, smiling up at the sky. He is so…nice when he smiles. So innocent looking.

"You like sunrise, do you not, Robin?

"Yeah. Promise of a new day.

"Yes…of course, each day brings both joy…and danger."

"That a very…unlike you thought, Star," he looks at me quizzically.

"I know. I do not mean to be depressing. I am simply…most glad I found you Robin. And out team mates of course. We are…a family."

"Yeah I guess."

"And I love you all, very, very, much. And I do not wish for danger to take you away."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, Robin…do you not remember Blorthog? And Warp?"

"I remember."

"It was most frightening. You have no idea. Raven had gone…insane. She thought I was a figment of her tortured mind. She was not _Raven._ Cyborg, he was in disrepair. He who loves life so had given up on it. Beast Boy was caged and alone; his doubts had eaten him away and he amused people by demeaning himself…and you…you were alone."

"But it's not going to happen, Star," Robin says comfortingly. "You said so yourself."

"I know. But I am most afraid one of you shall…perish in our quest to eradicate evil. I could not stand it. Do you remember when we believed Raven was gone? I…I did not like that feeling. I know it is selfish, but I wish to keep you," I sigh and clutch my knees to my chest, " I suppose I am being silly, to be thinking these bad thoughts. We have endured and shall continue to do so, and we cannot be selfish in our quest to do the fighting of crime. I should not worry, but be joyful for what we have, and have faith it shall not perish. The world is beautiful, danger and all, and so is the sunset and life is most beautiful as well. Do you not agree, Robin?" I look to my side.

"Robin?"

He is gone.

---

When she wakes up, she does not remember her dream.

**Cyborg  
Monday 2:30 PM**

"Waffles…waffles…I love waffles…" I smack my lips in anticipation as I prepare the Waffle Iron Deluxe 8.0. I slip out a frozen waffle, humming amiably, and prepare to put it in the toaster when…

"Wait! Don't eat me!"

"Huh?" I look around, but I don't see anybody.

"Please! I'm too young to die!"

"Who's saying this???" I cry.

"Me, your waffle!"

I look down at the frozen waffle in my big metal hand. "Beast Boy, you had better not be playing another stupid prank…"

"No, honest! Please don't eat me!" The high-pitched voice cries and the waffle quivers.

"Right…well, no hard feelings, waffle, but I'm hungry so…"

"NO! Please, if you don't eat me, I'll…I'll grant you a wish!" It pleads.

"…Okay, I wish you were deep fried and smothered in maple syrup," I open the waffle iron.

"NOOOOO! Don't you want a wish? I swear it's trued! What have you got to lose?"

"Well-"

"I'm talking right? I have to be magic. I'll grant your wish if you promise not to eat me!"

"Okay," I say, and I can't help feeling a little excited. "I wish I was human again."

"Um…Shazam! There you go!" the waffle cries.

I look down. "Hey! I'm not human!"

"Yes you are!"

"Only half human, like before!"

"You didn't say _how_ human you wanted to be."

"Okay, that's it. Mr. Waffle, meet Mr. Waffle Iron!"

"CYBORG! NO!" Beast Boy rushes into the kitchen. "You can't eat anything with a face!"

"It doesn't have a face! It's a waffle!" I tell him.

"Yes I do!" The waffle cries, and out of it pops little waffley lips and eyes.

"Okay, that's just sick," I say.

"See? You can't eat it!" Beast Boy says. "Let the talking waffle go, Cyborg!"

"But…but…fine," I sigh. "I wouldn't want to eat a waffle with a face anyway.

I let the waffle go and it bounces down the counter and onto the floor under it's own steam. "BWAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm FREE! FREE TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD! Come FORTH fellow food items! Come for the and I WILL LEAD US TO VICTORY!"

And the Fridge bursts open, and out comes milk, eggs, condiments, celery, salt pepper and all sorts of things bouncing towards the waffle with little papery faces. "VIVA LA REVALUTION!" They cry as the scurry out the door, leaving me and Beast Boy standing there in shock.

After a moment of recovery, I turn a glaring eye on my green friend.

"Uh…oops?" He says.

"BEAST BOY!"

---

"WAFFLES!" I cry, springing up. "WafflesWafflesWaffles!"

"Cyborg, shut up!" Beast Boy calls from across the hall.

Oh. It was a dream.

"Uh…oops?" I say.

**Beast Boy **(after falling back asleep)  
**Monday, 4:00 PM**

I'm in a jungle. I hear animal noises around me. Everything is fog…mist…I see the wet shapes of trees though the gray…

"Garfield…"

"Mom?" I turn around, but I don't see anything. Gotta turn into a cat or something with better vision. I try…but I…can't for some reason. Which means, in the jungle, I'm pretty much screwed.

"Beast Boy…"

"Terra?" It's her voice, for sure!

"Gar!"

"Elasti- girl?"

"Beast Boy!"

"Starfire?"

"Little green one…"

"Brain?"

"Champ!"

"Val Yor?"

"Son!"

"Mento?"

"BB!"

"Cyborg?"

"Beast Boooyyy…"

"Terra!"

I see her shape in the must and run after her. I hear her high pitched giggle way ahead of me. Finally we reach a clearing. Terra stands under a broad old oak tree.

"Terra?"

I stare at her. Her outfit keeps changing, as she stands still. First the two shirts and cargo shorts from when I first met her, then her crop top superhero outfit, to her school uniform…

"…Terra?"

"Things change, Beast Boy," She says solemnly as her clothes keep morphing from on outfit to the next. "THINGS CHANGE…"

A panther pounces on her from the side, knocking her to the ground and it rips her heart out, it's teeth dripping with blood…

"TERRA!" I scream, thrashing in my sheets and rolling off my bed and I scream even louder as I fall five feet, landing painfully on the floor.

"BB!" Cyborg slams open my door, accidentally breaking it off. "Oops…uh, Beast Boy! What's wrong?"

I'm breathing heavily as my back aches from its impact on the floor, and I feel shame creeping up on me. "N-nothing…just…just a bad dream."

"Oh," Cyborg kneels down on the floor. "Do you…wanna talk about it?"

"No…No…sorry I woke you…" I get up.

"That's okay, we're even now," Cy watches me with vague concern as I scramble back into bed, this time in the bottom bunk. "Eventful night, huh?"

"I guess," I'm still shell shocked from the dream and falling out of bed.

"Well…'night…I'll fix your door tomorrow…"

"Yeah…night…" I say as he leaves, pulling my covers up." Sweet dreams," I mutter softly.


	8. The 'hood

Beast Boy

The 'hood

Okay…so, I'm eight years old…and I've been separated from the Doom Patrol…The Brotherhood of Evil is on the loose…and I am in a jungle…but that's okay, I like jungles. Except for the painful flashbacks. Those kinda suck. And I can take the Brotherhood of Evil…despite the fact there are for of them…and they are ruthless, deadly and highly trained. But I'm NOT scared. Not scared at all…

I sigh and begin to claw away (literally) through the brush before transforming back into a human. All is quiet around me. All I can hear is my own nervous heartbeat as I stare at the vast green expanse around me. I take a chance and call out my teammates names. "Mento? Elasti-girl? Robotman? Negative Man? HELP!"

Suddenly I hear a swishing sound and a giant gloved hand grabs me. Only a second of relief before I realize it's not Elasti-girl's. It's…

"Leetle green one. Vat a pleasant surprise." Madam Rouge's mouth twists into a twisted smile as she pulls me close to her. Beside her is General Immortus and Monsieur Mallah, who is holding the Brain. "Ve vere hoping you vould…drop in."

I turn into a bear forcing her hand apart, and knock Madam Rouge to the ground with a swipe of my paw. I'm about to got for Mallah when Immortus zaps me with a ray gun.

"Predictable maneuver," he says as I fall to the ground, nearly unconscious. " I saw it coming a mile away." He puts the gun to my head.

"No. Do-not-kill-him…Immortus," the Brain speaks in his forced monotone. "We-will-use-him-to-our-advantage-… with- the –little-green-one-as-bait-the-Doom-Patrol-will-come-to-us. Surely-a-strategist-such-as-yourself-should-have-considered-this."

"Yes, of course," Immortus muttered. "Silly of me."

Oh no. If I get captured, Mento will KILL me! I can't let this happen! I have to get out of this.

"The-Doom-Patrol-will-walk-into-a-trap. The-Brotherhood-of-Evil-will-triumph."

Ooh. Idea.

"Hey, why are you guys called the _Brotherhood _of Evil?"

"Vat?" Mallah asks.

"I mean…why do you call yourselves the _Brotherhood _of Evil when…well…"

"I tink I undeirstand vat the green one is saying," Madam Rouge has gotten up, and the slash marks on her face sew together grotesquely as she twists her head around. "Vy are ve called the Brotherhood of Evial when _I_ am female?"

"What a reedeeculous questieen," Mallah snorts.

"Yes…indeed…" the Brain says.

"I do not think so," Madam Rouge says testily.

"Brotherhood of Eevil sound good. What else weould you have us called?" Mallah snaps.

"Yes-Brotherhood-is- an-asexual-term…like-man…" the Brain drones.

"No eet is not!" Madam Rouge cries.

"Madam-Rouge-we-will-discuss-this-later…"

"No! Ve vill discuss this now! Vy are ve called Brotherhood ven I am a woman!"

"Well, Rouge, with you it's hard to tell," Immortus snickers.

Silence falls at this.

"Oooohh…that wasn't a good maneuver," I whisper.

"Vy you-!" Rouge lunges at Immortus, knocking over the Brain.

"Master!" Mallah screams, but the Brain does not break, he merely rolls on the grass as Rouge attempts to strangle Immortus.

"You respect masculinity so much, Immortus? How vould you like it eef I ripped off your-

"Rouge! Immortus! You-are-making-a-mockery-of-evil!"

I sneak away from the scuffle, laughing to myself.

I am _so _a genius.


	9. Stoplight

Stoplight 

Robin

Mask. That's all I need. I stare at Slade's ninja robot's mask. It stares back at me. Mockingly.

I can still hear the movie going on in the living room. Beast Boy's high pitched squeals, Cyborg's laughter, Starfire's questions and Raven's occasional quiet reprimand…for a split second I consider leaving the mask, and joined them.

But only for a second.

I have a plan.

I have to stop Slade.

Whatever he's doing it's bad. Really bad. Maybe worse than anything we've ever come up against. That I've ever come up against. And that's…saying something. I can feel it…building up. I can feel he would not hesitate to kill us all. I have to stop him before he hurts someone…otherwise I'll always see, when I close my eyes…Starfire falling…my friends dead bodies…a city destroyed…all my fault. I wasn't good enough.

And maybe there's something about Slade that gets to me. That burrows under my skin…that reminds me of…well. I can't let this go on any longer. I have to stop him.

No matter what it takes.

The only light in this room is the dim light of my lamp, a sickly yellow. Otherwise, it's like a dungeon. I can hear Starfire walk by the room occasionally…check if I'm okay…if I'm still alive…

Can I really do this to her?

Yes. I'm doing this _for _her. For everyone.

Masks.

I have to stop him.

Would Batman approve? It's a thought that I can't help considering whenever I do something.

Well… we ARE talking about the guy who keeps kryptonite in his sock drawer in case Superman goes evil. (Not to mention detailed plans for what to do if _I_ go evil…if Alfred goes evil…if the dog goes evil…you get the point)

And he's about to have his worst fears fulfilled.

I've spent hours in the darkness, sketching, designing, listening to my own heartbeat…everything's in place…and there's only one person I need to see.

It is ridiculously easy to break in the humongous looming tower. I lope up the ceiling like a praying mantis, breathing the cold air in desperately. I cut through the glass ceiling like it's paper, place my tools back in my utility belt and slide the glass pane away…I drop into the dark room soundlessly. Professor Chang is snoring in the corner.

I can't dance around it. Batman would definitely not approve of this. Neither would any sane person. But I don't think…I'm really sane right now…

"Professor Chang."

The snoring stops immediately and I don't see so much as sense his eyes snapping open in the dark.

"Wh-who's there?"

"I hear you have xinothium ore."

"Is that what this is about?" He grumbles, turning on the light. "Why couldn't we have done this at a decent hou-" He freezes when he sees me. "Oh no. A trap! GUARDS!"

"No!" I say quickly, putting up my hands. "I really want some xinothium!"

"Why should I believe you?" he snarls, groping for a weapon.

"Well," I say steadily. "If you feel that way, I could just take the xinothium."

Chang laughs. "Right. You'd have to get past my six guards. You're not that good."

"I am," I stride up to Chang, my eyes narrowed. "Would you like to find out the hard way?"

"Er…"

"Just give me the xinothium," I sigh.

"But xinothium is _illegal,"_ Chang says with a twisted smile. "I thought you were a _good _boy."

I grab Professor Chang roughly by the shirt. "I AM! I just need some xinothium! So GIVE me some before I ARREST you!" I take a deep breath and throw Professor Chang down hard on the bed. Closing my eyes for a second, I rummage through my pockets and pull out some money. "Would this be enough to cover it?"

Behind his goggles, Chang's eyes sparkle. "Yes, I think so."

"Okay then, give me the xinothium."

"You give me the money, I'll give it to you."

I grit my teeth. "I'm the good boy, remember? You can trust me. Give me the xinothium, I'll give you the money, and nobody will get HURT."

He relents, and goes in another room. I guard myself, but he comes back with the pulsing red canister.

"Be careful with this," he hands it to me. I give him the money and turn away.

"Can't trust anyone to be a boy scout these days," he says viciously as I begin to climb up the wall. I think of jumping down and hitting him, but I fight the impulse, and instead climb back into the frigid night air.

I strap the belt around my waist. Illegal substances…stealing…lying to my friends…I try to convince myself this is the right thing to do. The end justifies the means. I have to stop Slade from doing something terrible.

I look in the mirror and a sigh escapes me.

I have to do this.

So slowly, carefully, I slip on the mask, stretching it gently until my face is completely x'd out.


	10. Bound

Raven 

Bound

_"You told me, Raven…you told me…"_

"Shut up!" My hands are shaking as I sit cross legged on my bed.

_"You told me everything…"_

"Get…out…of…my…mind!" I scream, clutching my face.

_"But it's so nice here…and so easy to get in…"_

"Get out before I BURN you!" I spin around, twisting the satin covers beneath my bare knees as I glare at the trunk.

_"You know you can't do that. That would just release me…"_

"Ugh," I collapse back on the pillows, kneading my forehead. "You know what? You're pathetic.

"_Really? I'M the pathetic one in this relationship?"_

"There IS no relationship. Someone would have to be completely insane to like you!"

"_And yet you did."_

I fall silent.

_"Honestly, Raven, how could you ever think I loved you? Who could ever love an ugly EVIL thing such as you?"_

"Well, I could say the same for you," I snort.

_"Oh, that ever present sarcasm. That CHARM. That endearing endless cruelty. I pity the Titans, I really do. The fools, loving you so when you'll only hurt them in the end."_

"SHUT UP!"

Before I know it, I've sprung off my bed, ripped the trunk open and grabbed that infernal book. I slam it against the floor again and again, using all of my strength. "SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!" Pages fly out if it, fluttering, flapping furiously along with my rage. Finally I stop breathing heavily.

"…_Did that make you feel better, Raven?"_

"Yes."

_"Beating up a book. You have sunk to new lows."_

"Well, better than being _trapped _in a book."

"_Oh, RAVEN. Sweet Raven. So prone to violence. That cutting tongue. Azar would be ashamed, wouldn't she?"_

"You do not DESERVE to speak Azar's name!"

_"You know, Raven, I think it's true what I said. You and I are VERY much alike…"_

* * *

"Azar died when I was ten. Then I lived with my mother.

"I'm sorry to hear someone so close to you died. Is your mother still alive?"

"Yes."

"Azar sounds like a great socceress."

"She was. But truth be told, she was mostly a pacifist." My hair hangs over the edge of the bed as I peer at the solitary book. "Sometimes I wonder if she'd approve. What I'm doing, the superhero thing."

"You and your friends are trying to achieve peace, yes?"

"Through violence. Azar doesn't think that is the way…didn't think…I guess…"

"Well, I'm sure she'd respect your differences. You don't strike me as the pacifist type, my dear."

I give an evil little smirk and he laughs. "No, not quite. I'd always be sneaking off to train in martial arts with some of the…less rule abiding priests…"

"Ah, my little rebel. You and I are so very much alike," His voice is smooth and lilting. I smile.

"But intrinsically, it's the same. Azar and I both believe violence and evil should be eradicated. We just have different ways of going about it. She's still my greatest teacher. Both in magic, and in lifestyle. I…miss her."

"I'd imagine so ."

"We see her as a goddess. So sometimes…I think she's still with me."

"Well, we of all people know the dead never _really_ leave."

"Yes…indeed we do,"

There is a silence that fills the room as I sate at the seemingly endless ceiling above.

"You know, Malchior, I've never really been able to talk about this before. To anyone. But you…you understand me. Like no one else can. You're so…wise…"

"That's very sweet, Raven. Hmmm…Sweet Raven…"

"Heh."

* * *

_Heh_

_Heh."_

"STOP it!"

_"Is that all you can ever say?"_

"There's a lot I WANT too say."

"_Does it still hurt, Raven? Does it still hurt how I betrayed you? The ONE TIME you ever opened up to somebody, it blew up in your face."_

"This is the last warning, Malchior," I growl.

_"Oooh, scary little girl."_

"Scarier than you. Or need I mention once more that I TRAPPED YOU IN AN BOOK?"

_"You know what's really scary, Raven? What's truly scary is that YOU'RE trapped and you don't even need a book…"_

* * *

"I'm evil, Malchior. There, I said it."

"Hmmm…and what led you to this shocking conclusion.?" He puts his hand on his hip mockingly. I throw him a glare.

"I'm serious."

"Relax. I'm just nonplussed at this statement. Why on earth do you believe you are evil?"

"I can't…tell you," I sit on my bed, sighing. "I can't tell anyone…but believe me…my claim is true…if you knew what I really was…"

"What you are, Raven, is whatever you wish to be." His eyes are so expressive through his paper mask.

"I don't have a choice."

"I can't understand your problem unless you tell me what it is."

"Let's talk…fate."

"Fate?" He raises an eyebrow.

"Do you believe in it?"

"Hmmm…I have been around long enough to see that prophecies, real ones, always come true."

"…Oh."

"But they are words. And words have many meanings. One can easily manipulate those words, that decree, to suit ones self. Like many forms of magic, perception is key."

"Really?"

"Raven, whatever your dilemma is, I am certain you are strong enough to overcome it."

"You…think?" I let the tiniest gleam of hope show through.

"I know."

* * *

_"Raven?"_

"WHAT?"

_"Remember that little chat we had about fate?"_

"Malchior-

_"I lied."_

"That's IT!" I grab the book and stand up giving it a final violent shake for good measure. "You are going in the evidence room, where you can't bother me anymore!"

"It doesn't matter where you put me, Raven. I will ALWAYS bother you…"

* * *

I stare at myself in the mirror, an infinitely dangerous past time I usually don't partake in. He comes up behind me and runs his fingers through my hair. I giggle, a completely un-Raven high pitched giggle. Any of my team mates would be severely creeped out of this display. I'm creeped out a bit myself.

"Do not stare at yourself so, Raven. You will not get any less beautiful."

"Oh, stop it," I bat his hand away, another unnatural sound. Azar, what is wrong with me?

"What are you thinking, my great contemplater?"

"Nothing…it's silly…"

"Come now, you know that doesn't work with me…"

"Well…I guess I was just…wishing I could…feel."

"Feel?"

"I can't, because of my powers. Because of…of…"

"Of what?"

"Nothing. Nothing…that's what I feel." I blush when the self pitying words escape my mouth. He strokes my cheek.

" But you do feel, Raven. Your emotions are more…subdued than a regular teenage girls…not so shallow and energized…but you feel very, very deeply, sweet. I can sense it."

"You…do?"

"Would I lie to you? You are more mature…than other girls your age…more intelligent…but you feel so deeply…so complex, really. And I love that about you, Raven."

He wraps his arm around me and spins me around. I give him a grin, my arms around his neck. Love.

"What about now, Raven?" he whispers. "Are you feeling?"

"Yes, Malchior. I always feel around you."

_Always._

* * *

_"How do you feel NOW, Raven?"_

"Sickened," I say shortly, a lie and he knows it. I push open the metal door with perhaps a little too much force. "Welcome to the evidence room?"

_"I'm evidence now? Of what? How STUPID you are?"_

"I see the great dragon, so powerful, yet so mysteriously subdud by a single spell from a supposedly stupid teenage girl, is starting to feel a little miffed about how easily he can be locked away," I say, the bitter stream of words sharp as a razor as I put him on one of Robin's evidence stands.

He laughs.

_"Sweet Raven…" _he says smoothly as I stalk away, "_You can out me in all the different rooms you like, but you will NEVER get me out of your head."_

I slam the door on his voice forever.

* * *

That night, I snuggle into bed, content with the newfound silence of my room.

As I close my eyes, I hear something…ever so softly…

_Sweet Raven…_

My eyes snap open, and I look around wildly for the book. It's not in here. He can't be in here, and he can't contact me telepathically from this far away…

So it was only me.

I lay back down, closing my eyes and clutching my covers like a straightjacket around my body.

_It was only me._


	11. Winner Take None

Winner Take None 

"Welcome, champions all! You are hereby invited to compete in the Tournament of Heroines!"

"Raven?" I whisper to my cloaked friend.

"Yeah?"

"I have a bad feeling about this."

There is a silence before Raven answer.

"…So do I."

We exchange looks. When Raven has the bad feeling about something, it is no laughing matter.

"Guys?" Terra sidles up to us and we forget our troubles as we turn to look at her. "What's going on? Is this the place where BB, Cy and Robin went?"

"You speak of your friends!" says the monkeyish man who spoke the first place. He walks over to the three of us, his jeweled necklace swinging. "Yes, it is true, they have just competed in their Tournament of Heroes, where they battled for a fabulous prize!"

"Who won?" I ask eagerly.

"…Robin."

"I knew it!" I giggle.

"Great, now he'll never shut up," Raven rolled her eyes.

"Ooooh, is the prize really cool?" Terra asked. "I hope Robin shares it with us!"

"If one of us wins the great prize, two of the kind shall adorn our tower!" I gasp happily.

Raven crosses her arm suspiciously and addresses the man with white fur. "Who are you? Why would you hold such a pointless competition?"

The creature clears his throat. "I am the Master of Games and I like to ask…why not!"

"Thrilling!" I clap my hands.

"Of course, young lady, if you wish to leave you need only say the word," he says courteously to Raven.

"Oh, Raven, do stay! It could conceivably be ever so much fun!" I grab my friend's arm.

"Yeah, Rae, looks cool," Terra looks around the room.

Raven gives a defeated shrug. "Yeah, okay, whatever."

"Does everyone else wish to stay?" the Master of Games says loudly. All the other heroines give murmurs of assent. "Very well! Then I will introduce all of you!"

He puts his hairy hand on my shoulder and images seem to light up behind him.

"Starfire, the adorable alien with lighting fast energy blasts!

Raven, the mysterious empath who wields deadly dark energy

Terra, the scrappy blonde geomancer who can rock the house down!

Bumblebee (pictures of a African America girl in a striped yellow crop top with skin tight black pants blasting lasers and flying with wings are projected as he gestures to the bemused girl) the little bee with a big sting!

Wonder Girl (This time we are shown a girl with blue eyes and a black ponytail who wears a glittery red halter-top and pants, with silver wrist guards and black boots. She is wielding a lasso) the amazing Amazon blessed with the powers of the Greek Gods!

A muscular Mexican girl in a cat mask and leotard is "Pantha, the gutsy girl wrestler undefeated in the ring!"

And a young lady with blonde hair a crop top with an "S" symbol on it and a loose red skirt is described as "Super Girl! The sweet Kryptonian Girl of Steel!"

And when the last girl is finally revealed, Raven, Terra and I gasp. "Jinx, the acrobatic witch with bad luck powers!"

"She is not a heroine! She is a villainous…villain who does not deserve to be here among us!" I cry.

"What, afraid I'll beat you wimpy girly girls?" Jinx sneers.

"Just try it!" Terra snarls back.

I move to break up what I believe might become a fight, but Wonder Girl hails me. "Hi!"

"Hello, Wonder Girl, I have heard much about you!" I smile at her.

"Same here," Wonder Girl shakes my hand. "Whoa, nice grip!"

"Thank you, I am from the planet Tamaran, where we are trained to be strong warriors."

"I'm from Paradise Island, where we are trained to stay away from men, and three headed monsters."

"Hi," Raven says unenthusiastically to Bumblebee, as Super Girl chatters away at an uncomfortable Pantha.

"Very well!" the Master of Games claps his hands. "It's time to get going! Round one will be:

Bumblebee vs. Starfire!

Raven vs. Jinx!

Wonder Girl vs. Super Girl!

Terra vs. Pantha!

Now…let the match begin!"

"Wha…?" I suddenly find myself zapped in large craggy room with my opponent. Taking a deep breath, I shake my head to clear it, and look around.

"Well, I suppose this is where we start the- UHN!"

Bumblebee has tackled me straight into a rocky wall. I slide to the floor and she plants herself on top of me, two B shaped lasers pointing at my face as she grins.

"-Competition," I finished and let my lasers shoot out of my eyes to blast her off me. She laughs when she finally stops skidding across the ground.

"Good shot. Let's see how you are with small targets!"

She shrinks to insect size and buzzes toward me like a pesky karnan fly. I cry out in pain as she begins stinging me multiple times with her lasers. I try to swipe at her and overtake her with my starbolts, but she is much too quick and small.

"I did not wish to do this," I say, before clapping my hands together and creating the largest Starbolt I can muster. My body pours out green energy and it encapsulates the small superheroine. She falls to the floor fully sized and I am upon her. She blocks me, but I find a gap in her defense and punch her in the jaw. With a gasp of pain, she is subdued and begins to disappear.

"You were a most worth opponent!" I cry before she is zapped away completely.

Then I find myself back in the room with the other girls. There is Raven, who is smoothing out her cloak and Super Girl, who looks most bedraggled with a ripped costume, mussed up hair and a bleeding lip…and…both Terra and Pantha?

"It was tie," my teammate explains. "Pantha had me pinned, but I made an earthquake beneath us, and grabbed onto a rock, but Pantha grabbed onto the edge of the crevice, then we both came here."

Super Girl engages Pantha in conversation about her close and strenuous fight with Wonder Girl, and Raven answers Terra about her fight with Jinx with "Some people have more bad luck than others," when the Master of Games appears before us.

"Well, I suppose tomorrow we will have a three way match along with a two way one before going into THE FINAL ROUND! Now, my young champions, I suggest you get some rest."

He begins to zap us away, but I see it coming and shield myself with a large starbolt. He looks at me in confusion as I let the shield down after the others have disappeared.

"Excuse me, sir, but do you have a device with which I might conceivably contact my friends? I wish to make sure they have returned safely."

At this, he turns away from me and begins examining his jewel. "They have. Trust me."

"Yes, but I wish to talk to them. I have missed them very much while they were gone and I wish to congratulate Robin on his victory-

"You can't contact them. They are in another dimension."

"But surely you have a device to contact other realms, otherwise how would you have done the transporting of us here?"

The Master of Games finally allows me to meet his eyes and they are full of anger.

"You simply CANNOT, all right?"

"But-

"Stop asking questions and go to bed!"

"But I-

"NOW!" he shouts.

I scurry out of the room, shocked by his anger and rush to a door adorned with a familiar name.

"Terra!" I pound gently and frantically on the metal door. It swings open.

"Starfire?" she runs her fingers through her hair.

"Terra, I fear something is amiss! I asked the Master of Games is I could give the boys a call of the phone, and he got most angry and was very rude! I believe he is hiding something!"

"Maybe he's just crabby, Star," Terra yawned. "I'm kind of tired…"

"He said he did not have a way of contacting the earth!"

"So? Maybe he doesn't," Terra shrugged.

"Then why must he get so angry? And if he does not have the way of contacting the earth, how did we come to be here? It is very suspicious, Terra! I believe we should check it up!"

Terra relents. "Okay, I'll get Raven."

We walk over to her door, I wringing my hands, and knock. Raven answers it with her usual reluctance.

"What?"

"Starfire thinks the Master of Games is up to something. She tried to call the boys and he got angry at her, so she thinks we should check him out."

Raven shrugs. "Okay," and begins to step out of her room, then stops. "Wait…you guys are just trying to get me tired so you can win the game, aren't you?"

"Ummm…" Terra and I say together, nonplussed.

"Meh, I don't really care," Raven shrugs. "Let's go."

"So, how are we gonna check him out?" Terra whispers as we creep down the hall.

"I believe we should spy on him." I whisper back.

"Invading other peoples privacy. Fun," Raven says. Terra looks away uncomfortably.

We reach the corner of the room and I gesture at them to kneel beside me. We peer carefully at the main room, where the Master of Games is caressing the jewel and humming.

"Hmmm…Hmmm…HMMM…HMMM…"

"He's humming very suspiciously," Terra whispers.

"See?"

"I'mmm not doooing anything baaaad…"

"Yeah, that's pretty suspicious…"

"It's…odd…" Raven has her eyes closed. "I…don't just sense the Master of Games presence. I sense many…"

"What?"

"They're in here…with him…within him…trapped…screaming…in pain…"

"Who?" I say fearfully.

"It feels like…Jinx…Wonder Girl…and Bumblebee…I…" The Master of Games moves closer. "It's…It's…" Raven's eyes snap open. "It's coming from that jewel on his neck!"

She jumps up and cries "Azarath Metrion ZINTHOS!" and her power snakes out and grips the jewel.

"Wha-" the Master of Games shouts, but a white electricity is coming through the jewel and Raven scream and disappears before our eyes.

"RAVEN!" Terra and I both scream.

I jump at the Master Games, my eyes glowing and Starbolts at the ready. "What have you done to our friend, villain?"

The Master of Games doesn't say anything, until suddenly he extracts a golden lasso seemingly out of nowhere, and he flings it around me. It tightens like a gag and sends a jolt of electricity through my body. I give a high-pitched scream and drop to the floor barely conscious.

"Starfire!" Terra cries. Angrily, she uproots a chunk of the stone floor in front of her and catapults it into the Master of Games. Then she forms two stone stalagmites, which she makes float threateningly above him. "Answer her question! What did you do to Raven and the others? Not to mention the boys! You better not have hurt BB!"

"Yes, the boys!" I struggle up. "Where are they?"

Pantha and Super Girl rush into the room, wide eyes.

"What is going on?" Pantha booms.

"Why is Starfire tied up?" Super Girl gasps.

"The Master of Games is holding this competition so he can hostage in his stupid necklace!" Terra cries. "He's got Raven, Wonder Girl, Jinx and Bumblebee!"

"LIES!" the Master of Games gasps.

"If they are lying, why do you have wings sticking out your back?" Pantha points out.

"Uh…" the Master of Games looks at the Bumblebee-like wings sticking out of his back. "Oh, not again."

"Superheriones, go!" I cry having finally unknotted the inexpertly tied lasso.

With a growl, the Master of Games shrinks down to insect size. "I will win this time!"

He buzzes over to Pantha and begins stinging at her. She swipes at him furiously, yelling "You will get the claw!" but she is unable to catch him and he buzzes up and lands a punch on her jaw, sending her skidding across the room. But before he can even turn around, Super Girl has slammed her hands together over his miniscule body.

"It's a bird! It's a plane! It's…" she takes her hands apart revealing a dizzy and bedraggled Master of Games. "…Insect repellent!"

The Master of Games spins around furiously and before she knew it, Super Girl was being besieged by hexes. She stumbles back crying, "It's…actually hurting me!"

The triumphant Master of Games turns back to normal size, only to be body slammed into a wall by Pantha. Once Pantha cleared the field, Terra throws her stalagmites at him, but he uses Jinx's powers to crumble them into dust before they even reached him. I took my turn by throwing a rain of starbolts in his direction, unrelenting and unforgiving. When the green energy dissipated however, he was unharmed, protected by a shining black shield.

"Uh oh," Terra muttered.

"That's RIGHT!" the Master of Games cried. "The empath's powers are MINE! And unlike her, I will use them to their full potential. Now what were the words? Azarath Metrion Zin-

Black magic explodes out of his palm, spreading over the whole room and making it shake like an earthquake, the walls ripping and cracking. Super Girl and Pantha begin to scream.

"What? This is not what I wanted!" The Master of Games cries as he begins to levitate uncontrollably. "Stop! Stop!"

"Raven's powers! He can't control them!" Terra cries as we too begin to rise unwillingly.

"Of course he cannot! He is too filled with hate and greed, and Raven's powers are controlled by emotion!"

"What do we do?" Pantha calls.

I do not answer. Instead I take very careful aim. The Master of Games is thrashing around so that necklace is flying everywhere. Then for a second time seems to freeze as the jewel leaps up so I can view it directly between my fingers. And I shoot. The starbolt slices a very clean crack through the jewel and it falls to the ground with a soft clink.

With a flash, the power surrounding us disappears and four girls appear, looking most angry. I see the Master of Games begin to glow as he tries to disappear and I fly directly for him, and pin him to the ground with a crash. He looks helplessly up at me, now powerless.

"Are you guys okay?" the floating Super Girl enquires as Terra and Pantha drop painfully to the floor. The recently captured girls give their words of assent, and I turn my attention the villainous creature before me, shaking him vigorously. "Where are the boys?"

"They defeated me and transported themselves back home! They're all fine, honest!" the Monkey Man whines.

"We shall see," I say. "You will be returning home with us. If you have lied-

"-I'll let you have my powers back," Raven sounds behind me, and I look up to see she is wearing the "evil smile" which rarely adorns her face. I smile myself, and move to the side, letting her bind the villain with a coil of black magic.

* * *

"Thank you for your assistance," I say earnestly to the fellow heroines around me when all is said and done. "I would like to give you all communicators, but Robin has stolen all my extras."

"Probably to hand them out to random people at Christmas," Raven mutters, dragging the Master of Games over to us.

"I would want one of your stupid communicators anyway," Jinx snorts.

"What makes you think we'd want to give you one?" Terra snarls.

"Goodbye new friends!" I interrupt cheerfully. "May we all have a safe journey home!"

With that, I squeeze the jewel tightly, not allowing it to escape my grasp all the way to Jump City.

The three of us with the bound Master appear in the tower, face to face with a very frantic Cyborg, Robin and Beast Boy.

"Oh, friends, you are unharmed," I say happily.

"Girls!" Robin cries. "We thought the Master of Games had kidnapped you!"

"He did," Raven says. "We have him right here."

"Wha-wha happened?" Beast Boy gasps.

"Halfway through the competition, Star figured out something was up, so we went and took the Master of Games down," Terra explained.

"You mean you guys just believed Starfire? Just like that?" Cyborg marveled.

"Well, yeah," Terra says. "She's STARFIRE. How did you guys take down the Master?"

"Well, I noticed something was up, but Robin wouldn't believe me because he was all hyper competitive and paranoid, so we had to do the whole dang competition before he wised up!" Cyborg shouted.

"Shut up, Cyborg," Robin muttered.

"What, it's true!"

"You mean we captured the Master of Games faster than you boys because you were too caught up in the competition?"

"Uh…well…I guess you could put it that way…"

"You know what that means!" Terra cries.

"It means we win!" I say gleefully.

"Which mean you have to take the Master of Games to jail," Raven shoved the villain at them.

"And WE get dibs on the TV for the rest of the week!"

"Wha-?"

"But!"

"Boys will be boys," I turn away putting my arms around Terra and Raven as they giggle (well, Terra giggles, Raven smirks)

"Jeez," Robin groans holding up the Master of Games. "Girls are so competitive."

END.


	12. Imperative

Note: This one is weird. But you can't fight whatcha gotta write. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Cyborg

Imperative

"Guys," Beast Boy fiddles with his shorts uncomfortably. "Ever since we went to that-uh-planet place…"

"Technis," Robin corrects.

"Yeah, whatever. Ever since we went there, Cyborg's been acting weird."

"Now that you mention it," Raven says pensively. "He is acting rather…withdrawn."

"Oh, I do hope nothing is wrong with our friend," Starfire says fearfully.

_There's a computer in my head  
There's a computer in my mind  
It's taking over me  
Gotta…keep…talking…in…rhyme…_

_ORGANIC LIFE FORM  
EASILY CONSUMED BY TECHNOLOGY_

_Screens are blinking…charts…graphs…  
Fuzzy vision…spiking lines…  
Wish I hadn't taken that step last…  
Wish I could've saved my mind…_

_I always felt my robot side  
Growing like a plague  
But now just from going on that planet  
I think for me that it's finally to late._

_THE ORGANICS ARE SUBMITTING  
THE HUMAN PART IS GOING INSANE  
No…No…NO!  
I don't want to play this game!  
_

_This is what I've always hated  
This is what I have to end  
I have to fight it just like always  
…I gotta tell my friends!_

_ERROR ERROR  
NO RESISTING  
Believe it, clunker  
I'm not enlisting_

_Here they are…  
Spiky, salad-head, witch and goldie  
They are my best friends  
Gotta force the words out…  
Before I forget them…_

"Cyborg?" Robin jumps up, looking startled.

His face is too sharp…too in focus…I can feel the virus taking over…what…

"Buddy, say something!" Beast Boy's concern rings loudly in his voice…gaaaa…

_Opening my mouth is hard  
Everything else resists  
As I struggle, AS I STRUGGLE  
YOUR HUMAN SIDE WILL SUBMIT_

Sounds. "I…I…"

_ I can feel the mechanics growing  
taking over my brain_

"Cyborg? CYBORG?"

_ I can't say anymore.  
I feel no cold, I feel no pain_…

"Cyborg! God, what's wrong with him?"

_ SUBJECT: ROBINCONCERNS: HIGLY TRAINED MARTIAL ARTIST WITH STOCKPILE OF WEAPONS INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO: BO STAFF, KHALI STICKS, BIRDARANG (SLICING WEAPON), SWORD, BOMBS, SMOKE STICKS, WEIGHTS. NOTE: HACKING AND DETECTIVE SKILLS.  
THREAT: MODERATE  
IMPERATIVE: DESTRUCTION _

"Whoa, Cyborg, what's wrong now?"

"Dude, it looks like he's having an aneurysm!"

"Cyborg, calm down…it's gonna be okay!"

_ SUBJECT: BEAST BOY  
CONCERNS: CAN CHANGE GENETIC STRUCTURE AND MASS TO SHAP SHIFT INTO ANY CREATURE ON EARTH (AND BEYOND) DUE TO CHEMICHALS AND LATENT VIRUS SAKUTIA.  
THREAT: MAJOR  
IMPERATIVE: DESTRUCTION _

"Is he malfunctioning?"

"His systems…his sonic cannon is waving around like crazy!"

"Cyborg…?"

"I…I…I…gotta…go…don't…follow…please…"

_ I have my secret weapons  
I could destroy them now  
As the stand there staring  
Technis tells me how._

_But…I…must…fight…  
LASER CANNON: IGNITE _

"NO!"

"Cyborg!"

"CYBORG!"

_I am running away  
I don't want to play this game.  
It's so powerful but I have to stop it…  
I have to carve out my brain…_

_My friends are coming after me  
But I lock the door  
They pound on it loudly  
'Till I can't hear them anymore_

_Try desperately to reach for a weapon  
But no! My systems have frozen…quit!  
I WILL NOT ALLOW YOUR DESTRUCTION  
YOUR ORGANICS WILL SUBMIT._

_I__'m trapped! God, I'm trapped!  
I cannot move! I cannot fight!  
I can't run away from myself  
And it's only a matter of time…_

_The door crashes open  
Robin's kicked it down  
They spread out around me  
But I can't make a sound. _

"Cyborg, we're staging an intervention!"

"Robin, do you have any idea how lame that sounded?"

"Shut up, Beast Boy."

"Friend, please! We are concerned for your welfare!"

_SUBJECT: STARFIRECONCERNS: DANGEROUS WARRIOR. POSESSES TAMARANIAN POWER OF FLIGHT AND ADVANCED STRENGTH (ABSOLUTE LIMIT: 20 TONS) ALSO POWER TO SHOOT CONCENTRATED ENERGY BLASTS FROM HANDS AND EYES  
THREAT: EXTREME  
IMPERATIVE: DESTRUCTION_

"He's doing it again!" Robin cries.

"It looks like he's fighting something?"

"Raven! Can you tell what's wrong with him?"

"I'm trying to contact him…"

_ Something probing at my mind  
Please, Raven, kill me quick  
Before I hurt someone  
I don't want to be like this…_

"I can't…his mind…it's been taken over…by…agh!"

"Raven! What's wrong?"

"It hurts…he's going insane…his machine parts…taken over…."

"What?" the pained expression on Robins face bobs like a mast

"Perhaps it happened on the planet Technis! Remember their mechanized culture?"

Star's eyes are glowing…Beast Boy is tense behind me.

"Raven, I need you to…"

_SUBJECT: RAVEN  
CONCERNS: MAGIC POWER ENCOMPASSING A PSYCHOKINETIC DARK ENERGY WHICH CAN FORM SHEILDS AND WEAPONS AS WELL AS MOVE OBJECTS REGARDLESS OF SIZE, TELEPORTATION, SOUL SELF PROJECTION, AND EMPATHY DERIVED FROM HER HALF DEMON HERITAGE. POWER CHAOTIC AND ENDLESSLY DSTRUCTIVE IF FULLY UNLEASHED.  
THREAT: UNFATHOMABLE.  
DESTRUCTION:_

_Click._

_Click_

_ABSOLUTE. _

"Oh no."

_There's a computer in my head  
It's taking over me.  
It wants everything around me dead.  
It…It…  
IT WANTS TO SET ME FREE._

_Click. _


	13. Dreams Continue

A/N: Blame Frank Miller for this authors note. Because I feel obliged to tell you, if you really want to get Cyborg's dream, you must read this: (Lots of bad language) Copy paste that in your address window, please, cuz I had to type that link by hand, and it's freakin' hilarious,(It's worth the read, trust me) If you want more, find out yourself, but know this: somewhere in scansdaily is Frank's script for the Vicki Vale scene, and it confirms he thinks women are his personal sextoys.

Also, thanks to all my reviewers. You guys ROCK!

Dreams Continue

_Raven_

Monday 9:00

It's all I am.

It's all I ever will be.

I wonder what it's like to be born out of love…for a purpose other than destruction.

His laughter is giving me a headache. I try to remember if there was anyone who ever really loved me…anyone I was sure didn't just think of me as a weapon or a problem…

"Hey, four eyes! Leave her alone!"

Oh, right. Them.

"Beast Boy, leave it!" I snap, but it's too late. He's charging at Trigon as a T Rex, smashing his rock hard skull against his legs. Trigon laughs and kicks him away, sending him flying at unfathomable speeds toward another jagged rock, where he'll surely smash into a bloody pulp.

**No wonder that idiot animal is extinct.**

But he's let go of me. I quickly teleport away and pop up behind the now human Beast Boy, who is screaming his head off. I catch his impact in my soul self, and teleport blindly.

We pop up in a dark cave, and Beast Boy rolls, gasping, out of my cloak.

"Where are we?" he pants.

"Under the ground, while hell is above," I pull down my hood. "But he'll find us soon enough. You should have left."

"Yeah…where would I go? You know we stick together, anyways."

"Where are Cyborg and Robin?"

Beast Boy's ears droop. "I don't know."

I suddenly feel my eyes well up. "Beast Boy…Starfire…"

"I know," Beast Boy's voice shakes. "I saw."

We stand for a minute, both trying not to cry.

"Argh!" I break the silence, punching the rock wall as hard as I can. Beast Boy gasps as it splits open, but it mends as soon as it breaks, in a flash of blue light. Black power emanates from me in my anger and sadness.

Must…calm…down…Azarath…Metrion…suddenly, everything drains from me and I'm left empty. "I…I want to die," I say in a monotone.

"And how the hell would that help anyone?" Beast Boy's tone has quickly switched from shocked to angry, as has his expression. I am the one shocked at this. He sounds angrier than I've ever heard him be in a long time, not to mention I've never heard him swear before (probably because of Robin's rule about swearing around…Starfire…and now…) but usually "Dude!" is his catchall exclamation.

The fire in his eyes dies as I stare. "Sorry."

"No," I mutter. Tears spill down my cheeks.

"Don't cry, Raven," he says in a high-pitched voice. "If you cry, it really is the apocalypse."

"I stayed around when I shouldn't have. I put everyone in danger. And I treated you like crap."

"Nah, you…guilt tripping is Robin's job, Rae. Don't take away his medal."

"Everything has to be a joke, doesn't it? So you don't go crazy…you don't mean to…. you're just trying to help. I could never understand that. And I'm an empath. "

Silence. I turn away, try to think…of something…anything…finally he speaks. "Raven, it's not…."

"Beast Boy, RUN!" I suddenly scream, whipping around with my psychic senses on fire.

"Wha-?"

"Run, you little pea pod!" I quickly make my telekinesis shake out and wrap around his wrists, pulling him towards me, but I am not fast enough. Trigon through the cave ceiling, his cleaved foot grazes Beast Boy with the force of the sky falling. Beast Boy is once again sent flying towards me and I catch his small form. Immediately I am covered in blood. It's red…funny; I always thought it would be green. I let my soul self snake out, about to teleport, but I can't…. Trigon grins down at me…he's shorting out my powers….

**Your magic tricks are insignificant next to me.**

I do the only thing I can. Run. I know I am fighting the inevitable. He is only letting me evade him because he finds it amusing. I huddle uselessly in a dark corner of the cave…and let the blue light of my healing power glow…that still works, thank Azar…but Beast Boy shakes his head weakly.

"That's…not…gonna do…any good…Raven. You…know it…"

I do. Salty tears run thick and fast, I cup my hands and try not to let them drip into his wounds. "I-I'm s-sorry. I never g-gave you enough credit. You're brave…and…and smart. Sm-smarter than me in some ways. And…I know how I act…but I really do think…you're kind of…funny sometimes…"

"That's sweet, Terra…"

"Ugh! I'm not Terra, you idiot!" I cry, wiping my eyes furiously.

He gives me a pained smile. "I know…I just…wanted you to act…normal…"

"Beast Boy for Azar's sake!" I scream. " This is not a joke! This is-

"Raven, look out!" He suddenly shoves me away from him, and a split second later Trigon's death stare completely disintegrates him.

"…s-serious," I gasp, staring at his remains. "N-no. Beast Boy…"

I choke as my cloak tightens like a noose around my neck. Trigon has lifted me up so I stare into his giant crackling red eyes.

**Extinct.**

He drops me. I manage to catch myself just before I hit the ground, I then let myself drop the last inch, tired and sad and angry, my telekinetic energy dampened, I pound on his hooves with my insignificant fists.

"No! No! NO! No!"

**Yes.**

* * *

_Robin_

Monday

11 P.M.

It's a race. But I don't know who I'm running against. All I know is that they're beating me. My friends are in the stands. Cyborg is whooping. Starfire is jumping up and down. Beast Boy is eating popcorn. Raven is asleep.

I'm tired.

But everyone's counting on me.

Why is everyone counting on me?

It's weird.

The finish line is in sight…but it never gets any closer.

People keep giving me water…but I'm not thirsty.

Raven, Beast Boy, Cyborg and Starfire always seem to be there. Always right there. Am I running in place or something?

Then I realize I'm not wearing any shoes. Where are my boots?

Wait…a sign beside me says:

NO COMBAT BOOTS ALLOWED.

Oh. I wonder why?

COMBAT BOOTS ARE THE DEVIL, the signs words change.

They are not! Hmmph. I need shoes.

"Hey, Beast Boy! Gimme your sneakers!" I cry.

"Dude, you can't take time to put on sneakers! You gotta win!" Beast Boy says with his mouth full.

"Why?"

"We're counting on you! Besides, you're probably not my size."

"Gimme a R! Gimme a O! Gimme a B! Gimme a I! Gimme a N! What does that spell…?"

"Cyborg, if you keep doing that, I'll have to kill you."

"Sorry, Rae."

"Onward to victory, Robin! Kick the butt!" Starfire cheers.

"Why me?" I scream. "Why am I doing this?"

They don't answer.

I'm getting tired.

I'm not getting any closer.

I don't have shoes. My mask is slippery with sweat.

My teammates wait silently…

I don't have any idea what I'm doing.

It's a race…

I don't know who my opponent is…

All I know is I have to keep running…

And I'm never going to win.

* * *

_Cyborg_

Tuesday

2:00 AM

See, I'm a Cyborg. I can compute what is possible. What is probable. What is improbably. What is impossible.

There's a fine line between impossible and improbable. The sun turning into a giant candy cane right now? Improbable. Raven wearing some skanky looking tube dress and lounging sultrily in front of me wearing lots of make up with a vapid look in her eyes? Impossible.

And yet…

"Raven? What the heck are you wearing?"

"Oh, haven't you heard, Cyborg?" she stretched luxuriously. "I've decided it's boring being a strong capable heroine. I'd much rather be a sultry sex object who exists to vapidly think about men 24/7 and make fanboys drool."

"Uh…but…you…you hate…people like that…and you look…uh…"

"That's right, Cyborg. You can't take your eyes off me, can you? Drink it in, baby. Drink in my hot half-demon body." She blinks her violet eyes demurely. "I exist for your fetishes. I live to serve…"

"But…you hate…dresses…" Does…not…compute…

"Well, this isn't so much a dress as a five inch rubber covering, and anyway, I'm a girl. It was either this or…"

"GREETINGS!" Starfire zoomed angrily into the room. "I HAVE JUST BEATEN UP BEAST BOY FOR NO APPARENT REASON!" She holds up my unconscious green buddy.

"Uh…why?"

"ROBIN!"

"Huh?"

"YOU HEARD ME! ROBIN! HE IS MY MOTIVATION! HE IS MY REASON FOR DOING ALL!"

"For…beating up Beast Boy?"

"THAT IS CORRECT! BECAUSE YOU SEE, I AM A STAND UP HEROINE, A STRONG WOMAN, AND EVERYONE KNOWS STRONG WOMEN MERCILESSLY BEAT UP INNOCENT PEOPLE! OH, AND I ALSO MADE BEAST BOY EAT HIS WEDDING RING, BECAUSE AS A STAND UP WOMAN I HATE MAIRRAGE."

"Um, Beast Boy doesn't have a wedding ring," I said slowly.

"Oh. Then perhaps that was an Oreo. Oh well." She dropped the unconscious boy with a shrug.

Suddenly, Robin burst into the room, panting.

"ROBIN! MY SOLE REASON FOR EXISTENCE!"

"Yes, Starfire, it is I, ROBIN, age sixteen! Some crazy guy in a animal suit just tried to kidnap me and told me I'd been drafted into a war. "

"Batman?" I asked, as I tried to nudge Beast Boy awake, not knowing what else to do.

"Well, to I, ROBIN, age sixteen, he sounded like a lame impression of Clint Eastwood."

"Yep, that's Batman."

"I only managed to escape him by maiming a bunch of people!"

"Oh, ROBIN, age sixteen! YOU ARE MY HERO!" Starfire squealed.

"I'm in the same room as Bruce Wayne's ward. Isn't it cool?" Raven said randomly.

"Raven, no one says ward anymore!" I said, annoyed. I shook my best friend some more. "Yo, Beast Boy, wake up?"

Beast Boy's eyes fluttered open. "W-where am I?" He looked up at me, then Robin. "Who are you?"

"What, are you dense? Are you retarded? I'm the goddamn ROBIN! …Age sixteen!"

"…Dude…"

"Cyborg, do you have man parts?" Raven asked in interest.

"WHAT?"

"I was just wondering…"

"WELL, I AM OFF TO GO STEAL HARLEY MOTORVEHICLES AND MAIM INNOCENT PEOPLE!" Starfire said brightly, "FOR YOU OF COURSE, ROBIN, AGE SIXTEEN!"

"Thanks, love," Robin gave her the thumbs up.

"Hey, speaking of ROBIN, age sixteen, what do you call this motorcycle you have parked in the house for some reason?" said Beast Boy, who'd gotten up to inspect the vehicle.

"The R-cycle."

"That is so queer."

"Shut up."

"Starfire can go maim the innocent, I prefer to lounge on top of our Tower in nothing by fluffy heels and lingerie, talking to myself about men," Raven said, jumping up sexily.

"STOP!" I screamed and they all instantly shut up. "WHAT THE HECK IS GOIN' ON HERE!"

Robin shrugged. "New writer, Cyborg."

"New writer?"

"Yeah, and if you don't wanna end up eating rats, which is a very unpleasant experience, trust me, you'll have to find your role."

"He's a shoo-in for token black guy," Beast Boy mused. "Cy, all you'd have to say is "Damn!" and "That's whack!" a lot."

"Wha-NO!"

"He could be one of my many lovers," Raven stretched sensuously.

"He could be my wimpy errand boy who takes out his anger on milk cartons…and newspapers," Robin mused.

"Dude that was supposed to be my job!" Beast Boy whined.

"SO WHAT SHALL IT BE, CYBORG? YOU MUST CHOOSE!"

"It's the only way."

"It what he wants…"

All their voiced merged as one, a monotone drone. "N-No," I whimpered.

"C'mon, Cy."

"You know you want to…"

"NO!"

"It's easier this way…"

"There will be lots of half naked girls involved…"

"N-…Aw, damn, give me that newspaper."

* * *

_Starfire_

Tuesday

2:01 AM

I am waiting in a line. It is rather long. It seems to go for much more than twenty plenthorks. Fortunately, I am at the front. Though I have the feeling this may be not so fortunate. There is no sign I am trapped here. I am not chained, or bound. Yet I feel rooted to the spot. I feel myself moving closer to the cave, without myself making any effort to do so. I am not sure how I am moving, but nevertheless, one by one, people appear to be entering a dark cave. A man in a black cloak is letting them in, I realize I am in full Tamaranian armor, as I was when I was enslaved. Strange. Where are my friends?

I look up and down the line carefully. Once…twice…thrice…they do no seem to be in this line. But they must be! I cannot be alone. I keep looking, desperation overtaking me. When I finally admit defeat and turn back to my place, my lip quivering in fear, I realize Robin's spiky head is directly in the front of me.

"Robin! You are here!" I give him a hug from behind. He stands stiffly. "Oh, Robin! Where are we?"

For a second I fear he will not answer, but then he says, "I don't know."

"Oh. Where are we going?"

"I don't know."

I chew on my lip, then notice something. "Robin! Why are you in the costume Slade forced you to wear as an apprentice."

"I don't know."

"I…see. Neither do I, to be truthful. I do not know where we are and why I am wearing this or how we go here. But perchance, you know where the rest of our friends are? I have not been able to locate them…"

I turn to check the line again and find behind me is-

"Raven! I did not see you there!"

Raven is silent. Her leotard is ripped and her hair is waist length as it was after Slade attacked her recently. She is covered with the dreaded Mark of Skath, and looks vulnerable, an attribute I do not normally associate with my somber friend.

"Oh, Raven, what has happened to you?"

She remains silent.

"She doesn't want to talk." Robin says. He still has not turned to face me.

"I..I see…" I do not understand why Earth people seem so intent on not doing the talking. If something is the matter, should you not tell someone, so they may help you? But I must respect Earthling ways, even if they strike me as most strange.

"Well then, I suppose we all have left to find are Beast Boy and-Cyborg! You are in front of Robin!"

He too is strange looking, for he is in his "Stone" persona, the one he used to infiltrate the HIVE academy of the Evil.

"Robin, why did you not tell me Cyborg was in front of you?"

My best friend shrugs. "You didn't ask."

"Everyone is acting most strange. How are you, Cyborg?"

"It's inevitable," Cyborg mutters, staring at his feet.

"…I am sorry, I do not understand your meaning," I say politely.

I wait for him to explain, but he merely keeps staring at his feet.

I sigh. "Very well. Now we must find Beast Boy. But the way things have been going I expect he will suddenly be behind-hello, Beast Boy."

"Dude!" my small green friend exclaims. He is wearing that strange mask he wore when we first met.

"It is pleasant to see you too, Beast Boy," I say warmly. At least someone is acting normal.

"Dude!"

"Er…it is I, Starfire, your friend!"

"Dude!"

"Beast Boy, we have had this discussion before. I am female."

"Dude!"

"You may stop saying that now."

"Dude!"

"…"

"Dude!"

"Okay, I do believe I am getting "the creepings," I turn around "Robin?"

I gasp. We are very close to the dark cavernous door. In fact, Cyborg is about to go in.

"Cyborg…wait!" I cry, but it is too late. He is already gone into the darkness. Robin steps up to go in. I grab his arm. "Robin! Wait! We do not know what is in there!"

Robin looks at me, and for the first time sounds like himself. "Nobody knows, Star."

"But, it could be dangerous!"

"I have to go in."

"But…"

"Everyone has to go in," he pulls away from me. The man in the black cloak looks at him and nods.

"Robin…"

He does not look back. He goes into the darkness.

"You ready, Princess?" the cloaked man whispers.

"I…"

"It's one way."

"I…"

"Dude!" Beast Boy cries.

"Starfire?" Raven speaks at last.

"Princess?" the man says again.

"I…very well…"

Behind his hood, the cloaked man gives a smile, and gestures for me to enter. I realize I am not longer rooted to the ground. I could now run if I wished. But I do not. I straighten up…and step into the darkness.

* * *

_Beast Boy_

Tuesday

4:00 AM

"You'll never get away with this!" I scream, tied up over a pit of lava.

"Oh-but-I-already-have," the Brain gloats evilly. "The- Doom-Patrol-does-not-like-you-anymore. The-Titans-have-been-annihilated. No-one-can-save-you-now."

"No one but…JAMES BOND!" I scream, fumbling in my pockets. "Gah! Where is it?"

"Who-is-this-James-Bond?" the Brain asks.

"He's like Robin, only in a tuxedo and with more deus ex machina! Today, I decided to take a leaf from his book and-HA!" I finally extracted a weapon from my pocket.

"That-is-a-paperclip…"

"It only looks like a paper clip! In reality it's…" I threw it at the Brain and it bounced harmlessly off him. "…just a paper clip. That wasn't supposed to happen…"

"If-it-was-physically-possible-for-me-to-do-an-evil-laugh-I-would-do-so-now."

"Oh well," I shrugged. "Plan B!" I turned into a Pterodactyl, bursting out of the ropes than bound me and I flew up to Brain, turning human and grabbing the laser gun lying conveniently next to him, and pointing it threateningly.

"Oh-dear."

"Oh dear indeed!" I laughed. "I so have you cornered!"

"Monsieur- Mallah-help-me!"

"I am coming, Master!" The ape lumbered in my direction, but I kicked the paper clip in front of him, which made him trip…right next to the Brain, face to face with my laser gun!

"Any last words?" I cackled, suddenly filled with the psychotic impulse to destroy them.

"Yes…I love you, Master!" Mallah sobbed.

"I-love-you-too-Mallah."

"Death will never tear us apart!" Mallah cried.

"Indeed-my-darling."

"Are you guys for real?" I gaped.

"Zat? Are you prejeeduced?" Mallah said in a highly offended tone.

"Uh…no…wow, this actually explains a lot."

"Kiss-me-Mallah."

"But master, I zould merely be keesing ze plasteec around you."

"I-will-feel-the-warmth-of-your-kiss-through-the-plastic."

"Okay, gross," I covered my eyes. "I am NOT watching you two kiss-!"

"His-guard-is-down! Seize-him-my-love!"

"NO!" I screamed as Mallah tackled me, wresting the laser gun from my hands. The Brains voice was the last thing I heard.

_"Love-conquers-all-little-green-one."_

* * *

"So, did everyone have pleasant schlorvacks?" Starfire said cheerfully.

"You mean dreams?" Robin said.

"Yes. Did you, Raven?" the alien girl asked as she poured the milk at the breakfast table. She had been concerned for Raven ever since she had admitted Trigon was her father a few days ago.

The demon heiress shrugged and sipped her tea, then nearly spilled it over the table when Beast Boy sat next to her. Defeated, Starfire turned her attention to him. "And you, friend?"

Beast Boy's eyes widened in panic. "Ughh…uh…no…uh, what about you, Cyborg?"

Cyborg couldn't bring himself to look at them as he said, "No dreams here, no sir."

"I had some dream where I was running a race without shoes," Robin shrugged. Whar about you, Star?

"Oh…me? Not that I remember," Starfire was not sure why she was lying. Perhaps the feeling-suppressing ways of the Earth were affecting her. "Well, I am pleased we all slept well."

And they continued to eat in silence.


	14. Worlds Away

Beast Boy 

Friday

If there is one joy in life, it is probably a tofu-dog. I ponder this as I drop my totally vegan snack into the grill. It sizzles tofu-tastically. Yep, it there is one thing that makes life worth living, it's a tofu dog…

_IN A WORLD where the only thing to LIVE for is a VEGETARIAN SNACK…_

Okay, so maybe I was exaggerating. WAIT! Who said that?

I look wildly around the room, for Cyborg or Robin playing a practical joke on me…but how could they have read my thoughts? Maybe it was RAVEN! She can read thoughts, right? No, wait, that's emotions…

_In a WORLD where emotions are read like waiting room pamphlets…_

"There it is again!" I cry. "Raven, stop it!"

But this doesn't really seem like Raven's style. She only harasses me when I annpy her. Which I haven't done so far today. I'll have to get on that.

_IN A WORLD where Beast Boy's sole goal is to annoy Raven…_

"It is not! Well, not my SOLE goal, anyway! Oh my God, the voice talked again!" I squeal.

_IN A WORLD where teenage superheroes SQUEAL like little girls…_

"Stop it! I do not squeal like a little girl!" I shout.

"Yeah you do!" Cyborg shouts from the living room. "Now shut up, I'm kicking Robin's butt at this video game."

"You are not!"

"Are too!"

_IN A WORLD where CYBORGS and MARTIAL ARTS PROTEGES freely play video games together_…

"AGH! STOP IT!" I screamed. "GIVE ME SANCTUARY!"

_In a WORLD where there is no sanctuary…_

I grabbed my hair and began to shake my head vigorously. "I must be going crazy."

_In a WORLD where Beast Boy is going crazy…_

"AAARRRRRGHHHH!" I ran screaming into the living room where Cy and Robin were playing video games. "Cyborg! Robin! There's this voice in my head and it won't shut up!"

"You mean you're developing schizophrenia?" Robin said with interest.

"I thought having people in your head was Raven's thing," Cyborg muttered, just before he crossed the virtual finish line ahead of Robin. "Boo ya! I win at life!"

"That's not fair, Beast Boy distracted me!" Robin whined. "I started thinking about this time when we thought the Joker had developed schizophrenia, but it turned out he was just possessed by a demon…"

"I'm possessed by a demon?" I gasped.

"Once again, that's RAVEN's thing," Cyborg reminded us.

_In a WORLD where people in funny costumes are routinely possessed by demons…_

"There is goes again!" I cried. "Didn't you hear it?"

"Uh…no…" Robin said, bemused.

"Told you all that tofu would have a negative effect on his health," Cyborg said wisely.

_In a WORLD where soybean based products make you develop schizophrenia…_

"Guys, this is serious! This voice in my head keeps narrating whatever's happening!"

"Like that book? Um, what was it called?" Cyborg asked.

"Stranger Than Fiction. And it was a movie," Robin said.

"No, it was a book!"

"Movie!"

"Book!"

"Maybe it was both," I said helpfully, but they ignored me.

"Look, Cyborg, I know when something is a book or a movie. I was trained by BATMAN, okay?"

_In a WORLD where Robin is trained by Batman…_

"GAAAA! FINISH YOUR STUPID SENTENCE!" I screamed, banging my hands against my head.

Cyborg and Robin stared at me.

"Whoa," Cyborg said. "Beast Boy's finally snapped."

"Yep."

"I always thought you'd be the first one to permanently snap, Robin, honestly."

"I just LOVE how much faith you guys have in me," Robin snapped. "Your LEADER and all?"

_In a WORLD where the Teen Titans have no faith in their obsessive and slightly paranoid leader…_

"Guys…the voice is still going…" I said nervously.

"Okay, I think we should be concerned," Robin said.

"What's all this noise?" Raven stormed in. "You're interrupting my meditating."

_In a WORLD where Raven's meditating is constantly interrupted…_

"Raven, can you sense anything wrong with Beast Boy's brain?"

Raven turned to look at me. "No more so than usual."

_In a WORLD where Beast Boy is the constant victim of biting sarcasm…_

"Though he is twitching noticeably. And seems distressed."

"Friends!" Starfire burst in the room. "I am back from my stroll around the city! On the way I encountered a very sexy person!"

Robin choked. "WHAT?"

"Oh, did I misuse a word? What is the term for one who believes irrationally that the female being is inferior?

"Sexist," Raven corrected.

"Oh, then that is what I meant," Starfire blushed as Robin took deep healing breaths.

_In a WORLD where Robin is given an aneurysm by his alien friends misuse of the word "sexy…"_

"He told me as a female being I was not fit to be a superhero and would not be strong enough to take down any villain," Starfire continued.

"I hope you hit him," Raven commented.

"Well, yes. He was doing the robbing of a bank. I believe he will be revising his assessment of my abilities in the house of the jailed."

"You go, girl!" Cyborg commented.

_In a WORLD where scantily clad female superheroes force sexist villains to revise their deeply held prejudices by punching them and arresting them…_

"I AM GOING TO GO FREAKING INSANE!" I screamed finally, banging my head against the wall.

"Oh yeah, Beast Boy's hearing voices in his head," Robin said conversationally.

"Well, I can't pick up any mental disease or brain chemistry imbalances. Just severe distress and the usual insecurity," Raven droned.

"I…am…not…insecure…!" I managed to say while banging my head against the wall.

_In a WORLD where superheroes are insecure…_

"GAH! Losing…touch…with…reality…" I screamed, clenching my fists.

"Let me do a electronics scan," Cyborg said soothingly.

_In a WORLD where electronics scans are dangerous and you should stay away from them because they probably cause brain cancer, really, so GO AWAY SERIOUSLY BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE! _…

"The voice doesn't want you to scan me," I said.

"Probably because it's coming from a microchip in your skull," Cyborg murmured, staring at the screen on his arm. "It even picks up your mental frequencies!"

_In a WORLD where THAT IS NOT TRUE; he's LYING!_

"The voice doesn't believe you," I told Cyborg, who rolled his human eye.

"How on this earth did this happen?" Starfire said in concern.

"Beast Boy, what did you do today?"

"Uh…woke up…had tofu bacon…took a cat nap…"

_In a WORLD-_

"Shut up," I snapped. "Played video games…harassed Cyborg…kicked Control Freak's butt with you guys…"

"That's it!" Robin said. "Control Freak must have implanted that chip in your skull! Probably when he slapped you in the back of the head."

"Oh yeah. That hurt." I rubbed my head.

"Why would he want to do that?"

"Lets find out," Cyborg batted my hand away from my head and places his hand on my skull, electromagnetic waves to dislodge the microchip fizzling out of it as he pressed a button on his arm.

_IN A WORLD where there's a microchip…and uh, no don't let him…uh…you eat tofu bacon! Hey-_

The microchip popped out and landed in Cy's palm.

"Yep, it's frenquency is coming from Control Freak's cell in jail," Cy said, scanning it. "The jig is up."

_"Aw man,"_ the microchip said tinnily. _"I was hoping I'd make him go insane like in Space Trek 2020…or at least get him really annoyed."_

"Well, you've always been good at the latter," Cyborg said, and he crushed the chip into dust.

We all stood in silence for a second before Robin broke it.

"So what were we doing before?"

"Playing video games and arguing about whether Stranger than Fiction is a book or a movie."

"Oh yeah. Well, it was definitely a movie. I know this because I have a photographic memory."

"Photographic memory? You couldn't even remember what we were doing five minutes ago!" Cyborg snapped.

"Boys," Raven sighed. "Want to go contact the spirit world, Starfire?"

"Oh, certainment, Raven!"

I smelled something burning. "Ack! My tofu dog!" I ran to the kitched, my arms turning winged to fan the smoke away.

"**And thus, another normal day at Titans Tower comes to a close…"**

Everyone froze.

"Hey," Cyborg said. "Who said that?"


	15. Sidekick

Robin

Sidekick

I am not allowed to have a panic attack.

It is physically impossible. The words "Robin" and "Panic attack" are only in the same sentence if "isn't having a" is in between them.

Except for in that sentence, that is.

Okay, I am NOT GOING TO HAVE A PANIC ATTACK.

REALLY.

I SWEAR.

Really…

It would be completely illogical at this point in time. I definitely can't have one in front of…him.

So I won't. Because it's physically impossible for me to have a panic attack anyway.

I take a deep breath and let it out. My knees are drawn to my chest and the hard cold armor of the apprentice uniform seems to bit right down to my skin. I can see Slade, or rather his silhouette, across the creaking groaning gear filled room. I have no idea what he's doing. I've just been sitting here for a half hour, concentrating on breathing.

I hate myself.

This is really not exactly a new thought to me, I pretty much started hating myself the day my parents died, but before I could take solace in the fact that I was probably overreacting, as I tended to do, and all the bad things that happened were probably mostly not my fault. That side of me that tells me to give myself a break, that if I'm a good person and I can't do everything. I call that my "Starfire voice".

That voice has been silent lately.

I think it's dead.

It's certainly not speaking now. I know why.

Because this really is. All. My. Fault.

I knew this was coming…I knew what I was becoming…sometimes it was hard to tell…who I was fighting…Slade or Batman…who I was betraying. I became obsessed. My friends saw it. I saw it. I couldn't stop. Now I've walked right into a trap.

I can't stand the thought of how I've betrayed everything. I am utterly, completely ashamed. I've become the very thing I fight. The list of people who will I have disappointed and estranged forever. My parents. Alfred. Batman. My fellow Teen Titans of course. Every hero and every victim…and myself.

"Are you all right over there, Robin?" His ever-casual voice cuts through the darkness like an icy knife.

"Yes," I say through gritted teeth.

"I know you must be scared."

"I am not."

I can feel him smile across the room.

"You'll learn to accept it."

I don't answer.

I hear the tapping of keys and twisting of knobs that mean he's gone back to whatever he's doing and drop my head.

I have to get out of this.

Okay…okay…I rub my head. What would Bruce do? C'mon. What…would…he…do?

I can't think of what.

Because Bruce would have never let it get this far. Bruce would have seen it coming.

I admit I have pretty much a pathological fear of failure. It's one of my many flaws. I know I have a lot of them, because I tend to pour over them in the dark, when it's quiet. Which is a flaw in itself, really. And when I think enough to realize that, my head starts to hurt, and I think about Roman History or something instead.

The point is my worst fears have come true.

I spend so much time not to become like Batman…or like Slade…I could never take time to just be…me.

I'd been a sidekick for a long time. It seemed it was always "Batman and…" So I left to become my own person…to be the leader instead of the follower. But I suck at being a leader. I let down my team. I let my own stupid obsessions get in the way, I got myself captured, I put their lives at risk…

…And now I'm a freakin' sidekick again. Only to the worst possible guy.

I lied to Slade. I am terrified out of my mind. Damn him…why the hell couldn't he have just irradiated me with probes? That would have been fine. I would have been fine with his blowing me up. I would have been like "Okay, Slade, blow me up." I knew I could die when I got into this business. I am fine with sacrifice.

But no. He went after my friends. Because he's smart. Like when I was a sidekick, the villains would always go for me…because obviously Bruce cared about me, and they could use me as leverage.

So now I'm stuck. From an objective viewpoint, I should let my friends die. They would be perfectly willing, as they have taken the oath to sacrifice themselves in the name of good, and would rather die than let Slade…take over the world or…something.

Subjectively, I would rather Slade take over the entire universe than have him kill one of my friends.

I'm a pretty subjective person.

I guess, deep inside, I always knew this would happen to me. That I'd become the very thing I despise because I was not good enough. The old saying is "Fight monsters long enough, and you will become one."

Call me Dracula.

I can hear Slade's body weight shift from across the room. I can tell he's getting impatient with me and that he's going to summon me soon, and my new life will begin.

So, now comes the time for acceptance.

I close my eyes and I see all my friends faces swim before me. Raven, Cyborg, Beast Boy…Starfire. I let every single one go. I can't let them die. No matter what. I have to do this and I can't think about it any longer.

I go through every person who I've betrayed, who will hate me now…including myself.

_I'm sorry._

_I'm so sorry._

_Goodbye._

"Robin," Slade says sharply. I force myself up and walk over to him, imagining ten different ways I could kill him with my bare hands. The closer I get to him, the harder it is to keep from lashing out. But I have to keep my cool. It's really to bad that is the thing in the world I am least good at. But I stand next to him and turn to the computer screen he's staring at. I almost gasp when I see split panels of Starfire, Raven, Cyborg and Beast Boy.

"Robin! ROBIN! ROBIN!" Starfire is calling at the top of her voice, which is such a decibel I can feel even Slade wince beside me. Raven has taken out her earphone for this reason, but is working on hacking into every city security frequency with unfathomable speed, muttering her mantra under her breath to keep herself calm. BB is combing the populace. "Have you seen my friend Robin?" he asks every person he comes across desperately. "He's like, really short wearing bright primary colors and has gravity defying black hair? Most likely looking really ticked off?" Cyborg is searching the sewers, swearing occasionally.

"Your friends are quite concerned I see," Slade comments unemotionally. My fists are shaking. Starfire has stopped flying for a second and rests on a building. She puts her hands on her face. I don't realize she's crying until she lets out a strangled sob. Raven on the screen next to her picks up her communicator.

"It's going to be all right, Starfire," she says in an uncharacteristically soothing voice. "We'll find him."

"Yeah, this is just like when those HIVE losers attacked us," Beast Boy said. "He'll come back to us."

"It has been much longer than that," Starfire sniffs. "And we know that…Slade…must have…gotten him…that….this was his plan, yes?…Robin could be getting tortured right now! Or he could be already deceased! Or…"

"Stop it, Star," Cyborg said sharply. "None a' that is true."

"He's Robin," Beast Boy says in a tone that suggests being named after a reddish bird elevates one to a kingly status. "Of course he's all right."

"Just keep flying," Raven suggests. "Keep calm. Remember? Peace…Quiet…"

"Tranquility," Starfire finishes. "Yes. All right." She takes off into the air once more.

Slade clicks the cameras off. I know he only showed me this to see me react emotionally. I try not to give him the pleasure. But I feel as if something hard and angry is trying to force it's way out my throat. I want to tell them I'm okay. That I'm not dead, or being tortured. God, I wish I was. I really, really do.

"Now, Robin," Slade's smooth voice slides easily through my ear. "Your first…_heist._"

He taps a key and the screen flickers. This time, I am barely able to stop myself from crying out in surprise. I wonder how many shocks a person can get in one day before he dies.

"You are to steal a thermal blaster from the Jump City branch of Wayne Enterprises," he says rotating the camera angle around the building.

He knows. I can feel it deep in my bones as I stiffen. But how could he? It's impossible.

"The thermal blaster is a very valuable weapon. It has "stun" and "kill" phases, and will set them according to a person's mental frequency. In other words, if you want it to stun, it will stun. If you want it to kill, it will kill. It can cut through anything, as well. It can even do in people with good degrees of invulnerability. Highly advanced technology. Wayne Enterprises is the only business that possesses anything like it. I assume you've heard of it?"

"No," I say through gritted teeth.

"Right. The security is fairly easy, I'd expect more from Bruce Wayne. Are you going to tell me you've never heard of him, too? You DID live in Gotham."

"That I did," I say calmly.

"Typical Playboy. He used to have a kid living with him, some little orphan boy. Apparently in boarding school now. I suppose he had an argument with his keeper."

Breathe. Breathe. "What does this exactly have to do with the thermal blaster?" I manage to sound even.

"Just some interesting background, Robin. I've hacked into the security mainframe, so all you have to do is take down the two guards. I debriefed you on the weapons I gave you, so this should be fairly easy." He held out my "new" utility belt.

I snatched from him. "Sounds like SO much fun."

"Oh, I'm sure it will be," Slade says, and I can sense his facial muscles lifting into a grin, though I can't actually see it. I storm out of the room. _Yeah. He knows._

* * *

I pretty much thought it was impossible to hate myself even more than I did before.

I underestimate my self-loathing capabilities.

The look on their faces…her face…was ten times worse than I thought it would be. I actually exploded a bomb in her face. Okay, so I pretty much did that while I was Red X too. But this is worse. It doesn't really matter. I deserve to be burned with hot coals or something. I HIT her.

I wonder what their thinking now. Are they surprised? Or did some part of them see it coming? Can they really believe I would do this to them? Of course they can. After Red X, it's totally believable…I've screwed up. I really have. I want to reach out to her, tell her for a second "This is not me! I would never do this! Please! Don't hate me!"

The thermal blaster has "Wayne Enterprises" in small type on the back. I've betrayed everyone. It's the same as if I'd slapped him in the face. Okay, he'd actually kind of deserve that, so this is worse.

I want to die as I step into the light, see his amber mask before me. Hate it. Hate it.

"Excellent Robin. I'm pleased. You're already proving to be the perfect apprentice."

H-A-T-E.

"This deal can't last forever," I manage to spit out.

I know the reply before he gives it. "It can. And it will."

I close my eyes as he speaks.

"The Titans still have no idea that my chronoton detonator was more than a decoy. Now that my probes are inside their bodies, they could remain undetected for years-decades. Unless, of course, you disobey me-and I decide to destroy your former friends with a push of the button."

I open my eyes as he holds up that damned trigger. His eye is mocking me. I can't help it.

"Sooner or later, you'll let your guard down. I will get that controller, and the instant they're out of danger, you will pay," I snarl. Great, genius, I think to myself. Blurt out your whole plan in a fit of anger. I guess it wasn't much of a plan anyway.

"That sounds like a threat, young man," He says in an annoying condescending voice, taking the weapon from me. "Quite a good threat, actually. Betrayal, destruction, revenge. We really do think alike."

That tears it. I throw myself at him in blind anger. He grabs my arm and bends it back. I can feel the bones about to break. Stupid.

"I monitored your vital signs during the mission. Elevated heart rate, adrenaline, endorphins," he says. I try really hard to ignore them and concentrate on the fact my arm is about to die. "You won't admit it, but at some level-you enjoyed stealing for me. It was a thrill, wasn't it?"

He lets go of me and I stumble back, rubbing my arm. Elevated heart rate and adrenaline and endorphins can be a result of fear I want to tell him. It doesn't mean I enjoyed it at all.

But it doesn't matter.

He's probably right.

"You're going to keep stealing, Robin. And you're going to keep getting that thrill. And sooner or later-you will see things my way," he says, walking towards me. He holds up the blaster and for a second, I hope he's going to kill me with it. Anything would be better than listening to him talk. But he clamps it onto my arm, saying "Who knows? I might even become like a father to you."

I glare at him as best I can, putting as much conviction into my voice as possible. "I already have a father."

Something flutters in the background as Slade stares at me. Finally he replies, "Obviously not a very good one," and turns away.

I stare at the thermal blaster on my wrist. One shot. One shot is all it would take. But I can't risk stunning him; I've been down that road before. He'd come back Terminator style. And the other option…I've betrayed enough already.

"Oh, and if you're interested, I have contingency plan if "Dad" shows up," Slade says icily.

"He won't," I say shortly. "And don't hurt him."

"Your concern for him is touching," Slade says flippantly, turning away. "But I know what bitterness you hide. Take a break, Robin. You'll be stealing from Wayne Enterprises again. They always did produce products…conducive to my needs."

I stumble away. _Somebody…anybody…help me…please, please come help…I'm sorry._

I hear Slade chuckle softly in the background as I sit down. I put my head in my hands.

I am the worst sidekick ever.


	16. Unchanged

Raven

Unchanged

"Sector five is secure," I mumble blithely into my communicator, leaning on a rail near Murkanime High School. I expect him to reply in some psuedo spy way with an inside joke about some obscure geekdom, but instead he just says "Okay, Raven. I'll tell Robin."

"Beast Boy, would you stop it?" I groaned.

"Stop what?"

"Acting serious."

"I thought that's what you wanted. You're always complaining about me being too goofy. And then you hit me. Or something."

I massage my temples. "Okay, remember what you said to me after I defeated Trigon? That you don't want me to stop being me?"

"Yeah. So?"

"Well, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I don't want you to stop being you. And ever since you said you saw Blondie-

"I did see Terra, Raven!"

"-you're acting depressed…and not like yourself. And somehow this annoys me."

"I'm acting exactly like myself! God, what do you people want from me? When I crack jokes you yell at me, when I'm serious you lecture me! I can't win!"

"I yell at you because I care!" I snapped back.

"Oh yeah…well…well…why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! There, are you happy now? Leave me alone!" He clicks off.

I glare at the communicator. It freaks me out when people tell _me _to leave _them_ alone. It's like having an out of body experience. I sigh and clip my communicator on my belt. Oh well. He should be back to normal soon enough. That's the thing about Beast Boy; he can't be depressed for long. He always bounces back. They should call him Bouncing Boy, in fact.

I hear a bell ring and students pour out of the school nearby. It's fascinating to watch; they're like a herd of cows, trotting all synchronized to escape their concrete prison. I watch in a bored sort of way for a minute. I'm about to turn to leave when I see her.

I do a double take before I actually realize what I'm seeing. It's kind of hard to recognize her, as I've never seen her in a skirt, or anything moderately formal or clean. But no on can mistake those big blue eyes, the pale blonde hair, and the pixie nose. She's sandwiched between two girls, slightly taller and filled out some. She no longer has that scrappy carefree air about her, but I'd still recognize her anywhere.

"Great Azar," I breathe, frozen on the spot. "…Terra."

So, Beast Boy isn't crazy. Wait…okay, he's no delusional…wait…oh never mind, he really did see Terra and that's all that matters. As soon as I can get my mouth to work, I call her name.

"Terra! Terra!"

She and her chums don't turn around. In fact, they begin walking faster.

"Terra, what are you doing?"

"Leave me alone!" the scrawny blonde calls over her shoulder.

I roll my eyes and sink into the ground, and pop up directly in front of my former teammate.

"Hey, Terra. Long time, no see."

The two girls beside her scream, while she merely looks startled. She recovers quickly though. She holds her head up high, and I finally see that recognizable tenacity that so defined her.

"You've got the wrong girl."

"Really. Are you a clone of Terra?"

"No."

"Facial reconstruction to look like her, not to mention messing with your vocal cords to sound like her?"

"No!"

"Her twin sister?"

"Not as far as I know."

"The I'd say it's highly unlikely you just happen to look and sound exactly like a certain emotionally unstable geomancer my friends and I welcomed onto our team, only to have her betray us, but then save the city by sacrificing herself, not to mention kill our biggest foe and the target of all of Robin's obsessive hatred," I say dryly.

"Well, like is full of weird coincidences like that, huh?" She tries to step past me, but I swiftly step in front of her.

"So, how did you come back from the rocks?"

" I don't know what you're talking about," she snaps, a strand of hair falling in her face.

"You could have called you know," I say ignoring her. "Beast Boy would have appreciated it."

"Why would I call you? I don't even KNOW YOU!"

She spins around to stalk off, but I grab her arm and spin her back. She glares at me and I glare back.

"I don't know what game you're playing, Terra, but drop the act. It's pathetic."

"Hey, let go of her!" her red headed friend screams. The other companion joins in with "She doesn't know who this Terra chic is, so why don't you super freaks leave her alone!" She shoves her face so close to mine, I'm showered in spittle.

"You have no idea what you're talking about."

"I know you'd better let her go, you crazy wannabe Goth Satan Worshipping-" the freckled girl reaches out to slap me, but her hand hits a shield I conjure up in front of my face. I let my eyes flash white at them threateningly and they jump back in fear. Terra shoves my hand off her arm and cries, "Guys, chill out! I can handle this myself, just be quiet!"

She turns on me. "Just leave me and my friends alone, Raven!"

"Wow, I don't recall telling you my name," I comment.

"You're a Teen Titan. Everyone knows you," she spits.

"Whatever. Look, Terra. I honestly don't care what denial trip you're on. I can sense that it's you. I can also discern quite easily from your mind that you're repressing some memories, psychological damage perhaps. But you remember enough to tell I'm telling the truth."

"Whatever," Terra imitates me snidely.

"You're "amnesiac" act might have worked with Beast Boy, Terra," I snap, angry now. "He might have put up with it. He loves you. He's a nice guy. But me? I'm not a nice person. I don't put up with pretenders as you remember very well. I'm not going to let you play your little games with me, Terra!"

"I'm not-

"Save it," I sigh. "Look, I don't really care what you do. Do whatever you want. What I care about is Beast Boy. He's my friend. And you have no idea how much you're hurting him."

Terra glares at me with venom, but can't seem to find the words to respond. I continue.

"He's always been there for you. You've never been there for him. He always forgave you. When you betrayed us, he didn't give up on you. When you tried to kill us, he still had faith in you. He talked you down. He saved you from yourself. No matter how many bad things you did, he was always THERE. He loved you. And you ripped his heart out."

Terra's eyes are wide now and her mouth is open like a fishes. Her friends stare. I turn away from her.

"I know what you're thinking. We're too alike, Terra. That's why I resented you so much, I guess. You think all you can ever do is mess things up. You think by pushing away Beast Boy, you're saving him more pain. You think you're doing this for HIM. Well, you're not Terra. You're trying to save YOURSELF more pain. You're afraid of facing up to what you did. You're afraid we hate you. Well, we've all forgiven you, Terra. Even me. You have nothing to be afraid of. And by pushing Beast Boy away, you're just hurting him AGAIN."

I turn back to her, my eyes full of anger. "That's ALL you've ever done. And he can't handle that! He doesn't have anything besides us! No family, no ones ever accepted him! That's why he loved you so much, you could relate to him like no one could! He pinned all his hopes and dreams on you, that's why he keeps coming back! You have to face him, you have to own up to it!"

"Why do you care so much!?" Terra shouts, tears shining in her eyes.

"Because he's my friend! He's like a little brother! A really annoying little brother! REALLY REALLY annoying! But you know what? I guess I like it better when he's happy, even if he's annoying, even if he's blessedly quiet when he's sad! Because I don't like to see him hurt! And you know whenever he's sad, it always has something to do with you! So you need to FIX THIS!"

"I…I can't…" she whispers shakily. "I can't do it to him…"

"Then I never want to see you again. I don't ever want you near him again. He needs to move on. Got that?" I snarl/

"That…was…always…it…" she stammers. I can tell she wants to cry. I'm too angry and hurt to feel sorry for her. Her friends stare pop eyed. Maybe she's happier with it like this. At least someone is. I pull up my hood with shaking hands.

"You know what, Terra. I guess you were right. Deep down, I really did think you were my friend."

Her pupils seem to get smaller at this. Her mouth moves soundlessly until she finally manages to choke out. "Things…change…Raven."

"No, Terra." I put my face very close to hers. "Some things _don't._

And I close my eyes on her forever and sink back into the ground.

* * *

I teleport inside the cave where she's supposed to be. The statue is of course, not there. Someone's flashlight is, though. Beast Boy. I look at the withered flowers. Silent moments pass like a drumbeat. Angrily I kick at the flowers, and watch the petals rain all over.

Then I wrap my cloak around me, and go to talk to Beast Boy.


	17. Slumber

Starfire

Slumber

It is a rare thing to see Robin truly at peace. Even when he is watching the movies with us, his mind is always working, and he is always awareness hyper. The only time I ever see him completely relaxed is when he is asleep. And even then this will sometimes be broken by a gasp of fear or rage, and his muscles tense, and I will realize this was an allusion, and he was dreaming of bad things all along.

But mostly, I am able to enjoy this peaceful Robin, and the few times when he is without thought. Which is why I sit here, and watch him with fascination. He has fallen asleep at his work desk, as he does often. I know that he would feel my coming in here is an invasion of his privacy, but I want to watch him.

It is a deep sleep he is in, and he breathes evenly. I watch his chest rise and fall, a steady rhythm. I wish I could move him to a more comfortable place of slumber, but Robin is a very light sleeper, and would most certainly wake up.

His head rests on his papers, and I see he has his file on Slade out. He has been trying to figure out where Slade may be, ever since Beast Boy alerted him to his own personal attack of a robot of Slade's. It is to be expected. The old insanity no longer grips him, the one that scared me so back in the early days; before the Slade forced him into servitude he so hungrily sought. I still burn with my warrior's rage when I think of that. But Robin will always be Robin, and Robin will always hate Slade, and always worry… Because that is what Robin does. He worries. About everyone. We are similar in that respect.

Which is why I worry about Robin the most.

He grunts in his sleep. I want to reach out and touch his face, but then he will wake. His peace is so fragile and easily broken. His ear so well trained any noise or touch will break him. He is a mystery to me, this masked…boy…who wishes so to be a man before his time. But it is the boy I love. The boy who listens to me, and does not get impatient. The boy who will play the video games with Cyborg, and do a dance of victory and sometimes yell "IN YOUR FACE!" when he is the winner. The boy who will force Raven to have fun in his quiet way, pleading with the others for her to watch the silly movies, the boy who will always be the one to break her down. The boy who will allow Beast Boy to train with him in the gym, and will laugh as he tries to lift the humongous weights with his sticklike arms. I do not want to lose this boy. I wish to tell Robin that this boy IS what makes him a man…what makes him himself.

I do not know Robin's true name. He says he would have to ask the Batman permission to tell me, and he does not wish to call him. I do not know much about his past, why he gets sad sometimes when we watch circuses on the television, why he does not like to talk of his time at Gotham, why he hates mistakes so much. Yet I see him so clearly, I think. Who he is. I love him for falling asleep at the table, for working so hard. I love him for how much he cares for each and every one of us, and is not afraid to show it. I love him and his competitive hypers, the way he quietly comforts Raven, relates to Cyborg, and struggles to show his feelings when his instinct is not to for me… I want him to see him how I do. I want his peace.

I am so in the sink with him, I feel him begin to awaken. I quietly float out the door. I do not always understand his need for the privacy, much as I try, but I must respect it.

I fly down the hall, lost in thought, when I come to the living room, to find Raven lost in meditation. I began to back out, but she obviously does the sensing of my presence, for she says "Hello, Starfire" in an unearthly voice. She is very deep in her meditation.

"Greetings Raven. May I meditate with you?" I ask.

"All right."

I float myself next to her, and cross my legs in her stead. I do not meditate though. I merely stare. It is quite easy to catch Raven at peace, for she is always struggling to make this her persona, despite the inner turmoil that has ever haunted her. If Robin is a mystery to me, then Raven is a code that shall forever be unbroken. Is this peace in meditation her peace? Or her war? I can never read her, though I know she reads me like a well-worn tome. I thought I understood her at last when I learned of her parentage. But I do not. She is one of my best friends, yet when she closes her eyes and chants, she descends into a world of secrets. Her face is a brick wall, and her eyes unchanging. Yet I trust her more than anyone.

She always seems to no what to say, when she comforts me. She helps me understand, to see. She has broken lose for her father, and despite her attempts to be cold, she has an inner warmth that shines through always. Despite her cynicism, she is so caring and hopeful. No matter what, I know how deeply she cares. She is like my older sister, always guiding me. A much better one that Blackfire. She is a quiet soldier, who observes everything, and lays it out before her like a beaten path. She always struggles with herself, her powers, yet she allows herself to care, though she has been forbidden to do so. Raven always breaks the rules.

"Star, stop thinking so much. If you won't meditate, will you go?" She does not say it rudely, merely as a fact. I am not hurt. I stand up and float away. Before I can leave, she says, "We'll do something together _later_." And I smile.

On the far side of the living room, Beast Boy is also in slumber. As a feline. Beast Boy sleeps a lot. Perhaps because he wears himself out by being so full of energy every second he is not in slumber. Sleeping is the only time Beast Boy is still. I sit beside him on the couch and listen to him purr deeply. Sleep seems to be the only time Beast Boy's mouth is not running, that he is truly still. Even as he sits like a zombie of dead in front of the entertainment system, his face will twitch and jump a million miles to the minute. It as if he is afraid if he stops moving, he will catch up with himself. In slumber he is not riddled with doubt, aiming to please, think of what he shall say next. Perhaps that is why he enjoys it so much.

Yet Robin hardly ever sleeps.

I shift slightly on the couch and Beast Boy's yellow cat eyes snap open. He shifts back into his normal form, stretching. "Oh! Hi, Star!"

"I did not wake you, did I, friend?"

"Huh…uh, oh! No, I actually had a really freaky dream. That I was chasing a mouse. I have dreams like that when I'm asleep as an animal, dude. Luckily I woke up before I ate it. That would've been horrible." He shivers.

Beast Boy, because of his link with all the animals, feels deeply for all life. I sometimes forget what a gentle person he is, with all his acting of the hyper and telling of the jokes.

He yawns. I can tell he wants to go back to sleep, but does not wish to dream of the mouse eating again. I watch as his impulse to nap wins over, and his eyes close once more. I leave him to his peace.

I pass Cyborg's room. He is doing the maintenance on himself with a machine, which requires him to be unconscious. Cyborg has always made it clear that sleep, to him is "a waste of time". He wishes to seize every moment and live it. That is why he is so devastated by what he is. He enjoys the feeling of being alive so much, that this feeling being half taken from him…it is possibly one of the worse things that could happen to a person like him. I understand this. I understand his fear of the machine taking over…of him not feeling the joy anymore…he must always watch to make this not happen. I find myself feeling sad, watching him prone, knowing he would rather be anything but…this is not his peace, this is his prison. Or that is how he sees it.

I feel tired myself now. Very much so…to find peace myself. To forget…for a little while.

I make my way to my room, and lay down on my bed as we do in Tamaran, head hanging off the edge.

I close my eyes and…

Our alarm sounds. The world turns red.

I sit up and sigh.

Peace is always broken.

For there is always someone to fight.


	18. Titanic Talk

A/N: I'd like to thank everyone who's reviewed. Your comments keep my self esteem up so I can keep doing this! This one is probably the longest one I've written and one of the hardest to write. It was inspired by this old 80's Teen Titans Comic I saw on ScansDaily set just after the Terror of Trigon arc, in which Cyborg is hounded at the apartment he shares with Beast Boy (it's so adorable) about Raven's seeming demise. He goes psycho and breaks a reporters camera. I found this hilarious. Thus... 

Cyborg

Titanic Talk

"I'm so sorry, guys. This is all my fault."

"It is all right, Cyborg. Truthfully," Starfire assures me.

"We'll live," Robin says.

"Stop tearing yourself up over it man," Beast Boy tells me.

"It's okay. Really," Raven mutters.

I know it's not okay though. If only I hadn't lost my temper. We would have never gotten into this. It's completely my fault. How could I be so stupid? This was the worst mistake I had EVER made. Now I've screwed it up for all of us.

It all started about two days after Terra turned to stone.

Beast Boy was still in his "getting over it" phase of operations. Actually, he was coming out of it. Yeah, it only took him two days. He gets over stuff really quickly. He'd finally come out of his room and was loafing around the house. Quieter than usual, but starting to crack some stupid jokes. He was in the kitchen attempting to devour all vegetarian contents of the fridge in the space of ten seconds when it happened.

The doorbell rang.

Starfire was out shopping, Robin was probably taking all the confused feelings he had over his arch nemesis dying on some poor villain and Raven was meditating, of course, so I clumped up to the door and opened it.

There were people. Dressed in suits. With cameras and microphones. I stared. Reporters had come by Titans Tower before, when we first moved here, after our first major fight with our first major villain. Robin, who was used to dealing with reporters for some reason, had done enough smooth talking to get them satisfied and outta there pretty fast. But Robin wasn't there right now. I had no idea what to do, and no idea why the reporters were here.

"Uh…" I said.

"Cyborg of the Teen Titans? Can you answer our questions on the recent incident where one of you team mates went on a violent rampage and drove everyone out of the city?"

"Uh…"

"Why did she betray you?"

"Was she really working with Slade?"

"Is it true that she was insane?"

"How did you take her down?"

"Are the rumors she KILLED all of you, but then you used a unearthly ritual to bring yourselves back to life, true?"

"Wait…I don't see how that's possible…"

"Where is she now?"

"Is she dead?"

"Is she in jail?"

"Is it true you're hiding her in Titans Tower?"

"Is it true one of you killed that gentleman, Slade?"

"Were there lava demons involved?"

"Did Batman really come and rescue you?"

"Are Slade and the girl currently in rehab?"

"Is it true that Terra had sexual relations with one of you?"

The last question snapped me out of my shock-induced stupor. "Whoa, whoa, man, that's just sick. Look, you guys need to go. Beast Boy doesn't need to hear any of this."

"Beast Boy? So it's true they were "involved"?"

"Rumors of an interrupted marriage ceremony…"

"Underage pregnancy…"

"Was he involved in the betrayal?"

I was trying really hard to say something, but my mouth didn't appear to be working. I couldn't form words, my brain had shut down. Then I heard him.

"Hey dudes, wassup?"

Beast Boy was behind me, chomping on a tofu dog.

"Yo, Cyborg, what's with all the suits?" He mumbled, his mouth full.

Oh…no….

"Mr. Beast Boy!" They all swooped in for the kill. "How are you dealing with the death of your girlfriend?"

"Was she on drugs?"

"Did she betray the team because of a fight you both had?"

"Was she psychotic?"

"Was she in love with Slade?"

"Why did she hate you enough to attempt to murder you?"

"Did you abuse her?"

"YO! HOLD UP!" I screamed, stomping toward the group, but it was too late. BB's pupils had already grown unnaturally small.

"Uh…Uh…Terra was…good…person…no…this…oh…uh, look! Up in the sky. Holy crime scene… …it's a bird…. I must defeat it…or a plane…by being a bird. Yes. I'm your…friendly neighborhood Beast Boy…flying away…to the birdcage!" Beast Boy turned into a green falcon and took off like a shot.

The reporters watched him quickly disappear into the atmosphere, and then turned to me.

"Is he mentally unstable?"

"How…How…he was just getting over it! How could you rub it in his face like that? You…bad…people!!!!" I could not find words to express my outrage. So I decided to grab one of their cameras and punch it into submission. They all gasped as I threw it to the ground, choked screams of outrage barely escaping.

"Now all y'all get off our property! NOW!"

They were out of there faster than Kid Flash. To this day, only one other person had been able to make Beast Boy upset enough to start spewing random catchphrases: Starfire, when she accidentally ate his goldfish.

Oddly enough, they didn't do anything after that little incident. It was only after the second time they got really upset.

Three days after the defeat of Trigon. Raven was in a constant state of meditation to make up for lost time. Thus, her emotions were up for grabs, as she was trying to get used to living without having a freakin' demon inside her. She was confused, happy yet sad. She was washing the dished when I heard the noises outside the door. I opened.

You'd think I would have thought to keep the security system on in the daytime after the last incident with reporters, but I was never that good at the "fool me once" thing. There they all were, and the questions came flying.

"Can we speak with your team mate Raven?"

"Is it true her father is Satan?"

"What about the rumors she killed him?"

"The recent "incident" is only remembered by everyone as a lapse in time and a lingering feeling of fear. The Titans have already made a public statement that during those missing six hours, the earth was taken over, but the Titans managed to save it. Could you expand on this? Are we really expected to believe five teenagers defeated what was described as a "goliath like devil"?"

"Where was Superman?"

"Is it true that the entire population was killed then bought back to life?"

"Rumors are it was actually Raven that destroyed the world…care to comment?"

"Is it true zombies were involved?"

"Is it true she died and was bought back to life by some satanic ritual?"

"The whole population died and was bought back to life by a satanic ritual…

"Was it really God's punishment on your team for underage superheroing?"

"Is Raven actually an angel?"

"Is the earth really destroyed right now and this is all some hoax by the witches…"

"Okay, okay, OUT!" I yelled, better prepared this time. "We already made a public statement, y'all need to…."

"What is going on?" Raven said in a deadpan voice, loping toward us.

"Oh no," I said. "Rae, just get outta here!"

"What-?"

But the reporters were already crowding around me, trying to get to my pale teammate.

"Raven! Is it true your entire family died in the recent apocalypse fiasco?"

"Did you really turn evil and attack your friends in a skimpy outfit?"

"Are you the Antichrist…ess…?"

"Was this caused by you?"

"How does it feel, knowing you are capable of such destruction?"

"What are your views on Nature over Nurture?"

"Do you practice black magic?"

"Did you really turn us all to stone?"

"…"

Raven blinked, her mouth open. Then, without a word, she disappeared into the floor.

"OKAY, THAT TEARS IT!" I screamed, as the cameras turned on me. I crushed the lenses of every one. "You all ever come NEAR here again, and I'll open up a can of butt whoop so huge…it'll…be…huge…. GO! NOW! BEFORE I DO SOMETHING YOU'LL REGRET!"

Two months later, they were back, and threatening to sue.

And that's how we got here.

"Dude, the ladies are so going to love my new hairstyle!" Beast Boy chirps with a thumbs up.

"Beast Boy, we all know that's a wig," Raven drones.

Robin swipes the Elvis wig off his head.

"Hey!"

"I told you, none of your pleas for attention in front of the cameras! We all have to pretend we're…normal."

"Yeah, Robin. People will believe we're normal. I mean EVERYBODY lives in a giant glass tower and parades around in capes right?" Raven rolls her eyes.

"You know what I mean…"

"Oooh! Oooh! You know what they should call this! The Teen Talkshow! Or Titantic Talk! Or-" Beast Boy is cut off by Robin again.

"It's a press conference! Stop trying to come up with cute names for it. We signed the contract to answer ten questions, no holds barred, except for those that endanger our secret identities-

"Dude, you're the only one who has a secret identity…"

"-or those of others or society in general. So stop treating it like you're going on Americas Next Top Model or something!"

"I'm so sorry, guys…" I sigh again. I can't say it enough. I am squirming in my seat at the round table, looking out at the sea of newscasters. Several of them are glaring at me. Raven is slumped in her chair, looking bored. Starfire and Beast Boy, meanwhile, are the epitome of excitement, Beast Boy having broken out all his "bling" (I seriously have to cringe whenever he uses that word, almost as much as I do at the combination of the tacky psuedo necklaces and his sunglasses) and Starfire is bouncing up and down. Robin's face is unfathomable. I just feel guilty.

"Shut up, Cyborg, we forgive you," Raven rolls her eyes.

"Okay, guys, three minutes 'till showtime," Robin checks his watch.

"Oh, I can barely take the suspense!" Starfire cries.

"Yeeeeahhh baby!" Beast Boy puffs out his chest.

People rush into place getting ready until finally…

"Hello, JUMP CITY! This is our "no holds barred" press conference with everyone's favorite teenage group, the Teen Titans! These mean teens have been defending Jump City from the onslaught of super villains for two years now, and in addition, have saved the WORLD from the likes of Trigon the Terrible and The Brotherhood of Evil! As we all know, they live in the island epicenter of Jump City in their crime-fighting Tower! Today, we get to ask ten questions of them, and they have sworn to answer almost everything. So let's start off with Robin. This martial arts master is the alleged prodigy of Gotham City's Batman, believed by most to be an urban myth. But here is proof the Dark Knight is not! Robin, leader of the Teen Titans, do you have any thing to say?"

Robin clears his throat as the newswoman, who I believe has had more plastic surgery than ME, points the microphone at him.

"Ahem…uh…Hello. I'm Robin. I'm not an urban legend…. I guess all I have to say is…to assure everyone that the Teen Titans have always fought for justice and we'll continue too. We thank everyone in the city for allowing us to protect him or her and promise not to let you down. Thank you."

"Inspirational words, Robin!" The woman smiles fakely. "Our viewers have a question for you," she fumbles with a piece of paper. "Ah. Do you have a girlfriend, and if not, does Batman?"

Robin flushes slightly. "Um…well…I am…kinda involved…with someone…" Starfire nods at him enthusiastically. "Uh…yes…I am going out with…Starfire…right here…. she's really…nice. And Batman…doesn't…like girls…I mean, he's too busy fighting crime…and he's kind of…not emotionally…suited to be…a…seriously, trust me, you don't want to go out with him."

"Dude you just made it sound like Batman was gay," Beast Boy whispers.

"Shut up, Beast Boy," Robin mutters.

The news lady clears her throat. "Uh, well! Starfire, I believe that turns attention to you. Tell me, how did you and Robin get together?"

"Oh, it was wonderful!" Starfire pulls Robin close and he makes a sort of coughing sound. "We did the kissing in the land of Tokyo! You see, the chief of the police of the Tokyo, Daizo, framed him for murder! He went to do the running to clear his name, and I assisted in rescuing him from the armed forced, then Raven and Cyborg discovered the man he was accused to have murdered was merely a creature of ink that Daizo had created by using an ancient demon. The demon had cried out for help and sent a creature of this sort to our tower, and Daizo (who had been using the demon to make inky criminals so he could capture them and get money and small circles of metal as a reward) had tried to eliminate all of us so we did not find out! But we did, and defeated the ink monster Daizo created and Robin realized we could be things other than heroes and we did the kissing! Then all of us got circles of metal as well!"

"Starfire…can't…breathe…" Robin pulled valiantly at her arm, choking.

"Oh. Apologies," Starfire lets go of Robin as the newscaster scratches her head.

"Er…well…okay then! Well our next question is for Beast Boy."

"Bring it on!" Beast Boy bounces up and down.

"All right… well…since you have no chance of having a secret identity, due to your, er, skin condition…could you fill us in on your origin?"

"My…what?" Beast Boy says confused.

"How you got your powers?"

"Oh. Okay. Well, it was when I was three. My…parents…were, like, super smart scientists…"

"And they had YOU?"

"Shut it, Raven. They were trying to pinpoint the exact differences between to human and animal genome, so they were studying jungles and stuff. We were in Upper Lamumba when I got my powers…"

"Upper LAMUMBA? That sounds like some African name a American writer would make up off the top of his head to sound "foreign"," Raven sneers.

"Well, it's a real place in Africa, okay? Anyway, back to how I became a mean green animal butt kicking machine…."

"Whoa, hold up!" I wave my hands in the air. "How come you never told US this stuff?"

"You never asked. Anyway, so we lived in this shack with this mean scientist guy who I swear had some sort of disorder. I was only three when this monkey bit me, but I remember clearly cuz it hurt a lot and changed my life and all. I was playing outside when this green monkey swings from the trees. So I'm all "Cool, a green monkey" and I go up to it, then it bites me! And then I start to die."

"This is making no sense to me at all," I mutter.

"Then listen, Cyborg! God! Turns out the monkey was really rare, which anyone could kinda guess, since it was green and all. It carried a disease called Sakutia that could kill humans, but not animals. I was supposed to die in 24 hours."

"Wow, this is actually pretty interesting," Raven says raising her eyebrows.

"I had no idea all this had happened in your early childhood!" Starfire gasps

"Yeah, pretty hardcore, huh?" Beast Boy beams, preening under the attention. "Well, my parents were all, no way! And together, they came up with a way to save me! They figured out the missing link in the human and animal genome! I was just supposed to be an animal 24 hours, so the virus wouldn't kill me. But it ended up turning me green and giving me awesome shape shifting DNA! But my parents were totally cool with it. They were nice people."

"What happened to them?" the reporter lady asks.

"Oh…" Beast Boy's ears droop slightly. "Oh…um…"

"Whoa, whoa, we're getting really personal here!" I say forcefully. "That's a totally-

"No, it's fine, Cy, chill. I'm just trying to at…art…atch…

"Articulate," Raven supplies.

"Yeah, what happened. Okay, well…" Beast Boy takes a deep breath. "There was a flood. Everything got washed away. We had to go in a canoe. And next thing we knew, we were heading towards a waterfall. Dad…threw me out…of the boat…and told me to fly…I…turned into a bird…and…if I had been better at shape shifting then, I could have totally saved them…but I could only turn into a few animals…"

"You were three, Beast Boy," Robin says quietly.

"Four, by then. But, anyway. I watched them die. Then I went into the jungle. And lived with wolves and stuff. Mostly the animals, like rejected me. Because I was green. But I found this totally accepting pack of wolves! Then one day, the Doom Patrol came into the jungle. They were on…some mission. I was all psychotic then, so I attacked them. But Elastigirl was totally cool, and figured out I was just a kid. And she took me in! And I became Beast Boy! In the Doom Patrol!" Beast Boy waves frantically at the camera. "Hi guys, look I'm on TV! If you're watching that is…"

"Of course, they're watching Beast Boy, you called them five times and told them to watch it!" Robin says.

"Yeah, but they could be fighting some villain."

"Who? We defeated the Brotherhood of Evil."

"They aren't the only people we fought you know. They could be out fighting Animal-Vegatable-Mineral-Man! Or the Scissormen! Or Red Jack! Or the Brotherhood of Dada!"

"Wait, the Brotherhood of WHAT?" Robin interrupts.

"BB, you never told us any of that stuff about your parents!" I cry.

"Dude. You never asked. I don't know anything about YOUR parents."

"And on that note, Cyborg, if you can stand to without going into a fit of rage, would you like to tell us about your background?" The blonde woman turns to me.

"Well, I-" I start. "Hey, what was that "fit of rage" comment supposed to mean?"

"Just tell her your origin, Cyborg." Robin sighs.

"Fine. My mom and dad were scientists. One day they accidentally opened a portal to another dimension. It killed my mom, and hurt me really bad. But my dad "saved" my life by using cybernetic parts to keep me alive. Then I ran away. The end."

"Wow, that was truly expansive, Cyborg," Raven rolls her eyes.

"Why did you run away, Cyborg?"

"You already asked four questions. Do you really want to waste your fifth one on something really obvious? My Dad was always trying to get me to do stuff he wanted me to do. I was his science project. Because of his crazy lab stuff, my mom's dead and I'm only half alive. Why wouldn't I run away?"

"Okay," the newswoman sighs. I could tell she was already getting fatigued with being in the same room as all five of our jarringly different dispositions and us. "Well, I know this is a sensitive subject, but the public would really like to know about the situation where your friend, Terra, attacked the city. Could you tell us what happened?"

"I'll handle this one," Beast Boy says, standing up. "Terra couldn't control her powers. Slade manipulated her into betraying us, cuz he offered her control. She gave Slade our security codes, and then took me on a date, leaving my four friends to fend for themselves. When I found out, I got angry so she went off and became evil. She attacked us all and attempted to kill us. But when we came back, Slade got angry and showed his true colors. He used her…um…suit…it was all cybernetic…to control her against her will. But she broke free and defeated Slade. Then she saved the entire city from a volcano by using her powers to stop it, but turned to stone in the process. Her statue is gone now…we…" he exchanges a look with Raven I can't decipher. I remember how Beast Boy had been kind of quiet after he thought he saw Terra. How Raven had come home angry one day and went into his room and talked to him for a long time. I wonder what was up. "…We don't know where she is. But she was a good person. She just made a bad choice. Terra was a dangerous enemy and a good friend, and one of the bravest people I have ever known. I'll never forget her. So…yeah…" Beast Boy sits down, looking solemn.

"Good job, Beast Boy," Starfire whispers.

"Thank you, Beast Boy, for the moving words," the reporter said. It was like a parallel universe, I marvel. "Well, out next subject to tackle…a question to Raven. Once again…a…sensitive subject…but could you please tell us about that period of time were you allegedly fought your father in a battle for the earth?"

Raven, who has been almost bored asleep on the table, lifts herself up and sighs. "Okay. Well, the rumors are true. My father was the demon Trigon. He used me as a portal so he could destroy this world. I was responsible for him coming here. I am sorry for the ordeal, though no harm was ultimately done, except it probably scarred my friends emotionally."

"We're not scarred emotionally," Robin interrupts. "And Raven saved the world. Sure, Trigon came through her, but it was fate…kind of and he would have found another way in. We're lucky he picked a heroic and noble person as his vessel. Raven rallied and defeated him."

"Only with your help. After you saved me," Raven reminds us.

"You saved us from turning to stone, and gave us your power."

"But you-

"Okay, " the blonde newswoman interrupts. I had to give her credit for being smart. She can see where this was going as well as those who have known Raven and Robin forever can. "Well, nice to have that cleared up. Question number eight is for Starfire again…could you tell us how you got to earth?"

"Oh yes! Tamaran was going through a war, and the Citadel said they would surrender if we gave our princesses up for slavery. Tamaran was forced to comply or be slaughtered. We were in slavery for about a year before I managed to escape the Gordanian ship. My sister had escaped a few months before. I was near Earth when I escaped, so I landed there, and defeated the Gordanians with my wonderful new friends!"

"Wonderful! I mean, not the slavery, but the friends," the news lady corrects herself. "Well, we have two questions left. Here's another viewer submitted one…. okay, that's a little vulgar, we won't say that one…Ah, here's a good one! "What do you each find most annoying about each other?"

"That's a really negative question, isn't it?" Robin says huffily.

"I find Beast Boy's entire personality annoying," Raven says.

"Oh yeah…well, I find Raven…annoying too!" Beast Boy cries.

"I love all my friends and could not be asked to pick their flaws! Though Robin is very reticent with his feelings…and Beast Boy is too unsure of himself…and Raven does listen to very depressing music…and Cyborg often wakes me up when he yells the boo ya every morning…" Starfire muses.

"Robin's obsessive," Beast Boy points out.

"Yeah, really," Raven says.

"He needs medication," I chime in.

"Stop it!" Robin cries. "You…you spend too much time in your room, Raven! And Beast Boy…stop being so…loud…"

"Well, dude, you yell all the time."

"And…Cyborg…is bitter…about stuff!"

"Starfire makes us try food that moves!" Beast Boy points out.

"She's on a happy pill," Raven sighs.

"You eat tofu!" I accuse Beast Boy.

"Yeah, well you eat meat. Factory farms man, factory farms!"

"You talk about football too much, Cyborg."

"Shut up, Robin!"

"You ALL give me headaches on a regular basis!" Raven growls.

"What is wrong with food that moves?"

"WAIT!" I cry suddenly. "She's trying to turn us against each other so we can throw chairs and make the eleven o clock news!"

"Hey, right!" Beast Boy cries.

"Well, it isn't going to work. My emotions are under control," Raven huffs.

"I would never throw the chairs!" Starfire says pitifully.

"Told you it was a negative question," Robin says.

"Okay, well," the blonde plastic surgery victim says hurriedly. "Final question: We know about Starfire and Robin's romance, but what about the rest of the Titans? Cyborg?"

"Oh. Um, well. I am sort of seeing a girl named Sarah. We're keeping it pretty casual, but, yeah." I scratch my head bashfully.

"Beast Boy?"

"Ladies, every inch of this mean green is totally available! Just call me, girls! I promise you won't regret it!" Beast Boy does a shoot and gun sign to the camera, his "bling" clanging loudly, and somehow his teeth manage to gleam.

"Ah…Raven?"

"Uck."

"I'll take that as a no. Well, that's a wrap folks! Teen Titans, thanks for the interview and let's hear the Titans say goodbye.

"So long and thanks for listening! Keep being good citizens!"

"We continue to look forward to saving you!"

"Bye! Mento, Elastigirl, Negative Man, Robotman, everyone else in the world, I'm ON TV!"

"Meh…"

"Uh, yeah, bye," I mumble.

The cameras click off and the news lady gives a sigh of relief. "They don't pay me enough."

"Hey, lady, they don't pay US at ALL," I snap.

"Let it go, Cyborg," Robin says. "C'mon guys, lets go get pizza."

"Glorious!" Starfire floats up.

"Woo hoo! ON TV!" Beast Boy squeals.

"Hey Cy, next time reporters come to the tower, try not to smash stuff, though, okay?" Robin says.

"Yeah, we know you mean well, but we can take care of ourselves," Raven tells me.

"Yeah, I know," I smile, and we leave the dark newsroom behind.


	19. Dreams Drag On

Raven 

"Kill me!" I scream at the top of my lungs. "Kill me now!"

**Not yet. I want to make you watch.  
**

"Ggggh!" I cried, throwing my hands together and blasting him with as much black magic as I could muster. He laughed and let me go. I flew away as fast as I could, out the cave we were hidden in and out into the vast red expanse, tears flying off my face with the wind. What was I going to do, what was I going to do?

"Raven!" I heard a familiar voice call. "Raven, wait up."

I kept flying, trying to ignore the voice.

"Rae! HELP ME!"

I stopped reluctantly and saw Cyborg lodged below me in a rock, struggling to get it off him. No, I couldn't get near him. If I got near him, Trigon would kill him. But it was as if a force greater than myself pulled me toward him, and I lifted the huge stone off him with my telekinesis and threw it away. Then, slowly I floated down next to him.

"Raven! You're still alive, girl!" He grinned at me, stumbling up.

" _I _ am," I sighed, trying to stop more tears from coming. My powers would spin out of control if I kept this up.

"You have any idea where the others are? BB? Star? Robin?"

I paused, staring down at my shaking hands. I couldn't bring myself to tell him. Cause him anymore pain.

"…No."

"Hey, it's okay," Cyborg put his arm around me. "We'll find 'em."

"No…you…you need to get out of here, Cyborg. Now. Before…"

"I'm not goin' anywhere. I'm staying with you. We'll come out of this, okay? We're Teen Titans."

"Azar, there's nowhere to go…nowhere for you to escape…" I put my head in my hands. "I'm a monster."

"Don't say that. You know I'd used to say that to myself every morning, ever since the accident?" Cyborg sat down beside me.

"Oh, Cyborg. You're nowhere near a monster," I laughed.

"I'm more of one than you. It's you're dad doin' this, not you, Rae."

"You're not a monster," I closed my eyes shaking my head. "You have no idea what a monster is."

THUMP.

THUMP.

Oh no.

"Actually, I think I gotta pretty good picture," Cyborg said standing up and readying his sonic cannon as Trigon the Terrible approached, looming like a storm.

"Cyborg, run!" I cried, jumping up.

"I'm not gonna die running, Raven. I'm gonna die fighting. I'm going to die with my friend. That's the best thing that could happen to me." Cyborg narrowed his ocular implant and I could almost see the lense focusing in on my father.

"Oh no, you're not. Not this time! Not again! I'm teleporting you out of here! Azarath-"

Suddenly my entire body froze. I could not move. My father was simply looking at me, and he had rendered me helpless. I struggled.

**Watch, Raven. Learn.**

Nooooo….

"You're going down, four eyes!" Cyborg let loose a sonic blast that didn't even faze my father. He swiped at Cyborg, who first jumped out of the way, but with a second try he grabbed my friend.

Nonononono…

He picked up the yelling half robot and crushed him in his fist. Electronic parts fell at my feet as my father wiped his bloody hand on his loincloth.

Cyborg…

**And now, daughter of hell…one last trip…**

* * *

Azar…help me…

* * *

Robin

This is one of those dreams where you can tell it's a dream. I can tell it's a dream because it starts off with a fight with Slade. My dreams start like that disturbingly often. In fact, if any of my friends found out HOW often, it's very likely they'd be severely freaked out. So whenever a dream starts off with Slade, I have a bit of a half awareness I'm in a dream, but usually, I don't really care. I want to beat up Slade.

"YAAAA!" I knee Slade in the stomach. He pushes me away with a grunt of pain. We're in a circus ring and lots of people are in the audience. Above us is a poster proclaiming "THE FLYING GRAYSONS." I do a double take and stare at it for a second, long enough for Slade to kick me in the side and send me flying across the ring.

"Ngggg…." I try to get up, but can't. "Where…is…Starfire?"

I'm not sure why I say this, but it seems like it makes perfect sense to Slade. "Up there. The question is when do I cut the wire?"

I look up to where Slade is pointing…with two people on a tightrope. They are not Starfire. But somehow this doesn't matter.

"Never seems like a good time," I lunge at Slade, who whirls out of the way. "I am the evil that haunts every dark corner of your mind…"

The lights go off, leaving the circus completely dark. I can still see the two people though, balancing on the tightrope, screaming. I move towards them, but I seem to be in slow motion.

"I will never rest…"

I jump on a trapeze, climbing on the ropes….up, up towards them…

"And neither will you…"

I see Slade pull the trigger, and the tightwire snaps, sending the two people falling to their deaths. I jump after them, flailing, screaming, reaching for my grappling hook…but it's not there…

"AND PRESENTING, ROBIN, THE BOY WONDER!"

We are falling towards Slade. We are going to die. He looks up at me with his one eye and laughs.

"Robin…how can you save a city if you can't save yourself?"

We fall.

Endlessly.

* * *

This is why I don't like to sleep that much….

* * *

Beast Boy

I love comic books.

Or I did.

Until one day I picked up this one…and entered an ALTERNATE UNIVERSE!

See, it was like, I was reading this comic book called "Tales of…" something about these eight young adults who tried to save the world from this old guy who was ticked off because his son randomly died, then I fell asleep. When I woke up, I found Starfire standing over me.

Only it wasn't Starfire.

It was an older version of Starfire with a lot more hair and a lot less clothes.

"Changling," she stated.

"Huh?" I said, confused.

"Changling. Come on. Nightwing says we have to meet up."

"Who the heck is Nightwing? And why are you…naked?"

"Honestly, Changeling, when are you going to stop making lewd comments about my body?"

"Huh? My names not Changeling, and I've never made any lewd comments about your body! Though, it is usually a little more covered up than this." I couldn't stop staring at her. It was hypnotic.

" Come ON. Nightwing's waiting," she said ignoring my comment.

"Wait…I remember…Nightwing is that future version of Robin you met when you went forward twenty years and everyone was all emo and depressed and I was bald. OH MY GOD! Does this mean I'm BALD?"

"X'hal!" Starfire snapped, and she picked me up bodily and dragged me out of my room. "Stop acting like an idiot and let's go!"

"Hey, I just realized, you're talking normal…using contractions and everything!" I said comfortably as she carried me under her arm.

"Contractions…? What's wrong with you today? You're mixing me up with Raven."

"Raven? Since when does Raven not use contractions? And what's up with your hair? It's like, a sentient being."

Starfire kicked the door open and we entered the meeting room.

"HOLY CRAP!" I gaped. "Who are these people?"

"Guys, I think Changeling's got amnesia." Starfire called, dropping me to the ground.

"My name isn't Changeling, it's Beast Boy!" I complained.

"I thought you hated that name," a guy in a blue disco suit and mask said, getting up.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"I'm Nightwing."

"Nightwing? Starfire, I thought you said he looked good! This guy is dressed like…like…Elvis or something!" I said staring up at what was supposed to the future Robin. I could actually see his eyes. They were blue.

"Just be grateful it ain't the short pants, Salad-head," said a guy at the table I recognized pretty easily as Cyborg, though he was old and his tech looked a lot less sophisticated. He was wearing some sort of freaky mechanical leotard.

"You look like a robotic transvestite," I told him.

"What did you say?"

"Um…Not that there's anything wrong with that. Who's this girl?"

I pointed at a pretty black haired girl in a sparkly red jumpsuit, with bracelets and a golden lasso tied at her hip.

"You know Donna…Wonder Girl…" Nightwing said slowly, looking concerned.

"No, I don't," I shook my head. "I have no idea what's going on. Where's Raven?"

"She's right here…" Nightwing said, pointing to a tall lady in a cloak like Raven's with long black hair.

"Nah, that's not Raven. Her skins all normal looking and her hair isn't purple. And she's wearing a dress. Raven hates dresses. And long hair. Hey, look it's Kid Flash! Hi, Kid Flash!"

"God, leave me alone," Kid Flash said, massaging his temples.

"…Okay then…"

"Can we just start the meeting, or is Changling done making fun of us?" Wonder Girl said.

"Gar, we'll discuss this later. Right now, we have things to do."

"Okay, I just want to know why everyone's dressed like it's the 1980's. I mean, those heels totally don't go with that cloak," I pointed at Raven.

"Garfield, it _is_ the 1980s," Starfire sighed. "In your years, anyway."

"Oh. My. God. I'M TRAPPED IN THE NINETEEN EIGHTIES?" I scrambled around and saw a calendar on the wall. Year: 1985. "NO, I'M TRAPPED IN 1985! REALITY IS NOT YET TV! SOMEONE SAVE ME!"

"Okay, Green Genes has flipped his lid," Cyborg sighed. "Terra, could you stop developing lung cancer long enough to calm him down?"

"Sure thing, Rust Bucket," a blonde woman who was smoking, like a whole pack of cigarettes at once. "Hey, fungus head, calm down and I'll…kiss ya on the cheek or sumthin."

"Wait, Terra?" I said, pausing in tearing my hair out. "Why are you smoking? And OH MY GOD YOU'RE A VICTIM OF EIGHTIES FASHION TOO! TERRA, WHY? WHY???"

"What the hells wrong with my clothes?" Terra spat.

"And…you're wearing make up…like a lot…and you're smoking so I don't want to kiss you anymore! NOW I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO THINK OF YOU WITHOUT THIS IMAGE! Plus, you're talking like a hillbilly."

"Okay, can I interrupt his ranting long enough to tell Raven I hate her?" Kid Flash raised his hand.

"Wallace…please stop hating me…" Raven droned.

"Never, you half demon harpie!"

"Hey, KF, that's not nice!" I said.

"SHE ATTACKED ME SO I HATE HER AND WISH HER DEATH!" Kid Flash screamed, ignoring me.

"Do we have to do this every meeting, Wally?" Nightwing sighed.

"YES! RAVEN, I CARE ABOUT YOU NONE!"

"Please…I am sorry…" Raven put her head in her hands.

"Dude, you're making her cry!" I said. "What did she do to you that's so bad?"

"She manipulated and attacked me."

"So what? She does that all the time," I shrugged. "You don't have to be MEAN. Raven, why aren't you hitting him?"

"I…am…a pacifist."

"How can you be a pacifist and a superhero at the same time?" I was very confused.

"Why can everyone not leave me in peace?" Raven wailed.

Wow, Raven's funky eighties counterpart was whiny.

"Well, this meeting is going nowhere," Starfire sighed. "Come on, Nightwing, let's go have sex."

"Ew," I said.

"Starfire, I told you to stop saying that when the rooms full of people!" Nightwing moaned.

"You earthlings are so closed off!"

"Can't we all just get along?" Wonder Girl pleaded.

"And another thing, I think we should kill people more," Starfire sniffed.

"You can suffocate them with your hair," I suggested

"Shut up, Changling."

"OH MY GOD YOU ALL ANNOY ME SO MUCH!" Terra screamed. "I can't stand it any longer. I am not one of you! I am working for Deathstroke the Terminator."

Everyone gasped, but I was just confused.

"You're working for Arnold Schwartznegger?" I asked.

"I'm going to enjoy killing you the most," Terra sighed in my general direction.

"Terra, why?" Cyborg said dramatically.

"Handsome, why not?" Terra said. "Though I thought you'd be more upset about it, Gar. You were head over heels for me."

"Yeah, but I've been through this before," I nodded. "Plus, kissing a girl who smokes is like licking an ashtray."

"GRRRRRAAAGGGH!" Terra lifted a giant pillar of earth, blasting us all away. I stumbled up and ran. Shattered glass was all over the place…and I got a glimpse of my reflection. "AGH! I'M WEARING RED AND WHITE! I LOOK LIKE A CHRISTMAS TREE MORE THAN ROBIN DID! And why are my ears not pointy? I lost my number one chic magnet! Oooh, I have muscles though. Cool…"

And that's when a giant rock came hurtling down on my head.

* * *

Dude. Maybe I should just take that comic book back to the library…

* * *

Starfire

"Robin?"

"Mmm…hmmm…"

"This is not a very good situation we are in, is it?"

"I've been in worse."

"Robin, we are on Tamaran and it is going to explode."

"One time these guys kidnapped me, and they kept killing me and resurrecting me and killing me again, just to mess with Batman. I eventually escaped, but it wasn't very pleasant. And I lost a toe in the multiple regeneration processes. I miss that toe."

"That's quite disturbing. What does that have to do with the unfortunate circumstance that Tamaran is on the brink of explosion?"

"Just proving to you that I've been in worse situations than this."

"That is admirable, Robin. But should we not be stopping Tamaran from exploding?"

"No. The world is going to end. It has been destined."

Suddenly, Robin had turned into Raven sitting beside me.

"Oh, Raven, surely there is always hope."

"I'm just a realist, Starfire. Tamaran is being blown up. We are all going to die. There is nothing you can do to stop it."

"I do not accept that!" I said angrily.

"Some things you can't control, Star. Some things are inevitable." Raven nodded at me and turned into Beast Boy.

"Well, this sucks," Beast Boy said, looking at the giant bomb protected by a inpenatrable forcefield before us.

"No, I think it explodes, actually," I said wearily. "Beast Boy, will you help me?"

"Oh no. I just realized that we're all going to die. WE BLEW IT AND WE'VE FROZEN TIME FOREVER!" Beast Boy begins to do the freaking out.

"Beast Boy…"

He turns into Cyborg. "Aw_ man! _This is an ACME Upperblow ten seven built with with irreversible timers and and indestructible force field, with a radius of ten million miles!"

"As Beast Boy would say if he had not recently changed into you, please tell me the subtitles," I crossed my arms.

"We're doomed."

"No!" I cried as my friend faded into nothing. "No, friends, please do not leave me! We can fix this! This…I can change anything…please…" I begin to cry.

"It's okay, Star, I'm here…" Robin puts his arm around me. "It's going to be okay."

"We are going to die!"

"That's how I know it's going to be okay. All of us."

_Starting countdown…_

"Robin? I lo-"

"I know Starfire. You too."

10…9…8…7…

"I am sorry about your toe."

"I'm sorry about your…planet…"

6…5…4…

"It was never as much a home to me as earth. Robin, I wish to tell you…"

"You don't have to say it, Star. Really."

3…2…

"But…"

"Really, I know."

…1…

"While will you not let me say it?"

"Because…"

_BOOM_

* * *

This is a strange dream.

* * *

Cyborg

I'm human.

I'M HUMAN!

Flesh…blood…beating heart…every thing…how did the happen? I feel life flowing through my veins…energized….alive….and so NORMAL.

I'd never give this up. Not for anything.

No….

No…

Don't be turnin' robot on me again! Don't you dare…Nooooo….

I AM ALL ROBOT. LIFE IS MEANINGLESS. I AM COLD, HARD AND HEARTLESS. HAPPINESS IS NOT ONE OF MY PROGRAMMED OBJECTIVES.

…Wait… SOMETHING'S happening I'M going HALFWAY half MAN half ROBOT…all MONSTER. Flesh…STEEL…blood…OIL…life…ELECTRICITY flowing THROUGH my VEINS. I CAN only EVER be HALFWAY happy. Because THAT is WHO I AM.

And now MY PARTS and PIECES are FALLING away. I am….

Falling…

I am…

Nothing….

"Take this to the junk pile, Fred."

"Sure thing, George. It'll be put to good use as scrap…"

No….

Wait…

Help me….

I was….

One of you…

Once.

* * *

God, not again.

* * *


	20. Animal Planet

A/N: Hey there! Just popping in to tell you this is a sort-of sequel to "Animal Magnetism". And it's pretty intense...is it Angsty Fool's Day or April Fool's Day?

Oh, and thanks for all the comments everyone! Oh, and for anyone who doesn't know Teen Titans GO! is in SEVERE danger of cancellation! If you want to save it, write a letter to this address.

Dan DiDio

c/o DC Comics

1700 Broadway NYC NY 100019

Yeah, I know Dan DiDio is sort of evil incarnate (grumblecaseforStephanieBrowngrumble) but we have to try!

And without further ado:

Beast Boy

Animal Planet

I've always wondered what would happen if I stayed in the form of a wild animal for a long time.

I wondered, but never really wanted to try it out.

Unfortunately, sometimes these decisions are made for you.

"I AM THE MAD SCIENTIST!" the angry short man in a fluorescent lab coat, with all kinds of crazy instruments wound around him, bellowed.

"Hi! I'm Beast Boy!" I waved.

Robin gave an audible sigh next to me, and then demonstrated his own bellowing skills by screaming "Titans, GO!"

The five of us converged on him, but when he did, he was gone.

"Okay…" Raven droned.

"What did this guy do wrong again?" I asked.

"He's stealing animals from the testing facility."

"Like I said, what is he doing wrong again?"

"Beast Boy…" Robin sighed again.

"Dude, maybe he's making a political statement! It is WRONG to experiment on these animals…they have thoughts and feelings like the rest of us! I know this for a fact. We should be fighting the people here, not crazy guys in raincoats. If it was HUMANS they were testing on, you'd be all "INJUSTICE!" but just because-"

"As much as I'm glad you're passionate and knowledgeable about something besides videogames and comic books, I think we should save this conversation for later," Raven interrupted me. "Realize that if this guy is a "mad scientist" he probably just wants these animals for HIS experiments."

"Oh. Then let's kick his butt!" I cried.

"No, shapeshifter, it is you who will be kicked!" we heard a cackle behind us.

We all spun around to see the mad scientist, in all his mad glory.

"TITANS GO!" Robin cried.

"Robin, you said that already," I told him. "Isn't saying it twice in one mission overkill?"

"Beast BOY…" Robin's eye twitched dangerously.

"Would both of you just shut up?" Raven rose into the air. "Azarath-"

Before she could finish her spell, the mad scientist flung out whip and hit her in the stomach. When it did, it sent a jolt of electricity through her body. She cried out in pain and fell unconscious to the ground.

"Raven!" Starfire gasped, as the scientist proceeded to fling the whip in her direction. It twined around her wrist and sent a jolt of electricity through her as well. It had absolutely no effect. Starfire grabbed the whip and smiled at the scientist in a way that meant she was really ticked off. But the guy was quick, and turned up the dial on the whip handle to maximum before she could fling him into space. This time it sent a much larger jolt through Starfire, and she went limp. Before I could even blink, the crazed villain flung her into Cyborg, and the resulting electricity shorted out his systems easily.

"Oh boy," Robin muttered, flinging a birdarang and slicing through the whip. "This guy is good. Beast Boy…"

"I'm on it!" I cried angrily, turning into a tiger and pouncing for the villain.

"No, wait!" Robin cried, just as I tackled the short guy in the raincoat, pinning him to the ground. To my surprise, the Mad Scientist began to laugh exuberantly.

"Just what I came for," he said gleefully, and pressed a button on his vest. Suddenly, I was attached to him by a collar and leash. What?

I tried to shapeshift back into a human, but I couldn't. The lights on the steal collar turned red and all my muscles went lax. I couldn't move…I couldn't speak…and I was still a tiger.

"You're going to be my next experiment, greenie," the Mad Scientist cackled, and with the push of a button, a car was beside us.

"BEAST BOY!" Robin screamed, running toward us. The Mad Scientist pushed me off him and lashed his whip at Robin, who flipped out of the way, so the thing barely grazed his arms, nevertheless leaving a nasty looking burn mark. The Scientist then quickly lugged me into a cage in the backseat of the lime colored car, and hopped in himself. He turned the key in the ignition and the motor started up. Unable to do anything else, I began to yowl loudly and desperately but it was no use…the car began to roll away.

A birdarang speared neatly into the window and Robin landed neatly on the front end of the car, glaring angrily at the villain through the windshield.

"Let him GO!" Robin whipped out his staff and began to bash the windshield glass. The Scientist predictably pressed a button on the steering wheel, and not so predictably, the front end of the car ejected Robin onto the ground in front of the car, with the aid of ridiculously huge metal springs. The Scientist pressed the petal to the metal just as Robin sat up on the grass, severely dazed. His masked eyes widened as the saw the car heading toward him at I-don't-know-how-many miles an hour and he attempted to get out of the way, but it was too late- the car hit him head on.

I roared in fury as Robin was propelled by the forces of gravity a few feet away, landing with a sickening thud on the ground. I immediately saw the blood. Robin doubled over as the crimson spread everywhere. I bashed myself against the cage frantically as he tried to crawl after the car, his mouth moving soundlessly. But the car got farther and farther away, until in the distance I saw Robin finally fall over. I screamed as only cats can, and forced myself against the iron bars, trying to get at the Mad Scientist, who found this all extremely amusing.

"Oh, the second I heard about you I couldn't WAIT to get my hands on you. I LOVE testing on animals, and a boy who can turn into any animal? Your genetic code must be insane! Oh, the fun we're going to have…and I killed the Boy Wonder! Everyone is going to love me. Criminals will fear me. I'll be able to tell anyone what to do…I bet even the Joker will do whatever I say. Ha, especially him! This is great."

I hissed at him until it hurt.

_KILLIwillHUNTyouandEATthefleshTasteRAGE…Anger and adrenaline raced through me and I sighted the next meal…_

Whoa….I shook my shaggy head. I had to calm down. There was no way Robin was dead. I mean, sure, he'd been hit by a car at high speed…but he's ROBIN. He didn't get titled "Boy Wonder" for nothin', am I right? But…if someone doesn't get to him…Raven would wake up and heal him, wouldn't she? She had to. The rest of them would wake up. They'd get to him in time. He'd be okay. As long as he didn't do something stupid like try to go after me despite his injuries. Which is exactly the kind of thing he would do. CRAP.

Okay, but I really couldn't get super angry. I was in tiger form and liable to go into primal rage. Robin will be okay. Raven will wake up. She'll heal him. Then the Titans will come rescue me. It'll be okay. Really. It has to be. And I won't kill anybody and eat their flesh…I was just a little upset when I thought that. I'm not an animal. I'm…ow…I've got a headache.

I could feel the feeling coming back to my muscles. I curled up painfully. Everything was going to be okay. It always went that way. I just had to hang on…

"We have a long ride ahead of us," Mad Scientist cackled.

Oh, man.

* * *

It seemed to have been a long time. Had I ever been in a single animal form this long? God, I was hungry. And I was tired of listening to this guys polka music. I'm trying not to think of the Titans. All the things that could have happened right now. They hadn't come to rescue me yet. But that was okay. I'd be okay. I've been in a lot worse situations than this…haven't I? Mmmm…yeah I had. The Trigon thing at least definitely qualifies. Man, I still have nightmares about that. Can't imagine what sort of flashbacks Raven must have. Or Robin. Who is definitely not dead right now. Because it is physically impossible for Robin to die. Because he's Robin. Nobody else is dead either. And I'm not gonna die. I don't care how crazy this guy is, he is nothing compared to Trigon. Or Slade. Or The Brotherhood of Evil. Or Brother Blood…these guys need better names, man.

I wish I had a steak.

No, wait, no I don't I am a vegetarian!

No, I'm a tiger…and tigers are carnivores. And as a carnivore, I want a steak.

No, wait, I am NOT a tiger, I'm Beast Boy. And Beast Boy doesn't eat meat. Even if it's antelope. Mmmm…antelope…

GAAA! Must think of something besides food…

As soon as I get out of this cage I'm going to rend this guys flesh from his bones for entering my territory and attacking my tribe…no, that's not a good thought either…no matter how tasty he looks…God, what's happening to me?

Think…think…what will I change my name to when I get older? I can't be Beast Boy forever. Change…how about Changeling? No, wait that's from that stupid dream I had. Where Starfire had very little clothes on. As that image crosses my mind, I really want to mate with her as she is the strongest tige…AH NO GAH WHAT AM I THINKING ROBIN WOULD KILL ME IF HE KNEW I EVER THOUGHT THAT ESPECIALLY SINCE ROBIN IS NOT DEAD! I begin to bash my head against the cage in order to get the thoughts out of my head. I'm pretty much squealing too.

"SILENCE!" the Mad Scientist cries, and he sticks a knife he extracted from nowhere in my shoulder. I yowl in pain and retreat to the back of the cage

_Blood…my blood…I smell it…all senses sharp…he has shed my blood and this is war…I will kill him and smell HIS blood and lap it up and be dominant…_

NO! BAD BEAST BOY. Stop thinking these thoughts. This is what I was afraid of. I'm thinking like a tiger…I've been in the same form way to long…this is not good…

I had to calm down. Think about who I am. I am Beast Boy. I like video games and TV and comic books. I have four best friends and I am a superhero. I'm hilarious and good looking. And I love to…sleep…like…maybe right now.

I close my eyes.

* * *

I'm going to die.

I don't know how long it has been. Three days or four. I'm having a hard time keeping track of time. I can't think clearly, but I'm forcing myself too. I ate the meat Mad Scientist gave me. I've gone over to the dark side…if the Titans were looking for me, theyd've found me by now. Obviously Robin must be dead. All my fault…this guy is really insane. I've dealt with people who are insane before. Actually, I sort of do that on a daily basis. But this guy is coo-coo labanza. I…I want to stop thinking. But I can't. If I do…I'll give in. I have to keep thinking.

I wonder where you go when you die. Maybe Mom and Dad will be there. Geez, I must be really going to die if I'm thinking like that. I wonder if they'll be proud of me. Super hero and all. Or dissaponted. I mean, they were so smart…and I'm…not…as…Raven would remind…me…twice a day.

…I'll…tell them…I'm sorry…I wasn't in…time to save them…just…like Robin…I'm…never…in time.

_Little green one. You always try so hard. And always fail so completely._

Who…said that? I can't remember. Whoever…it was…they were right…it's getting really…hard to remember words…

Words…are starting…not to make sense…

I wonder…how the Doom…Patrol…will react…to the news…of me…dying. Will…they even…care? Of course…they will…we made up…didn't we…or did we…not? I…can't remember…and there are my friends…what were…their names again…two of them…had something to do with…birds…and some girl…who doesn't…remember me…whatever…whoever she is….

Mmmm…I'll…miss them…

I'll…rend…this guys…flesh…

Oh…no…I'm…falling…as…as…that word…I can't…something bad…happen…someone…parents…who were my…parents again? They…were…tigers right…

Because…I'm a tiger…

What's…a…tiger?

Mmmm…

That word. I'm falling…

* * *

_RAR!_

"Excellent."

The tiger know longer thinks in words. It think is FEELINGS. It thinks in RAGE. It thinks in INSTINCT.

This makes the scientist very happy. This tiger that was once a boy is ready for the lab. The tiger is half starved and beaten, but that just makes it better for the scientist. He transports the tiger in the lab. It is in a cage.

Tigers do not respond well to this treatment. Nothing does. This tiger is insanely angry. It does not enjoy being poked prodded and cut and examined. And that is what it is exposed to. This tiger is scared. And you don't want to deal with a tiger when it is scared and hurt. That's when they are most dangerous.

Luckily for the scientist, the tiger is strapped down, and unable to escape. He is free to experiment and revel in his own sadism.

Until…

"TITANS GO!"

A hole is blown into the wall. There is a boy in a mask and bright colors. He is clearly injured, his arm and stomach are heavily bandaged. A girl with red hair stays close to make sure he doesn't overexert himself, like she knows he will. The boy is lucky, though, he only has minor injuries, when he should be dead. Thanks to the scary looking girl hovering above him though, he isn't. There is also a man who is half mechanical. Rage is etched against all their features, especially when they see their caged friend. Like the tiger, they are very dangerous right now.

With a cry of rage, the robot man blast the scientist from where he stands with a sonic cannon. The small boy in bright colors attempts to join, but the redhead holds him back, and they begin a heated argument about priorities. The cloaked girl ignores them, and unlocks the tigers cage with a little black magic and wave of her hand.

This is a mistake.

The tiger goes directly for the scientist, and clamps his jaw around thescientists puffy throat.

"BB, STOP YOU'RE GONNA KILL HIM!" Cyborg cried in horror as the tiger who was once Beast Boy pins the scientist down. "BB!"

"Azarath Metrion ZINTHOS!" Raven forced the tiger from the scientist with her power, and Cyborg placed the tiger in a headlock. The tiger thrashed in his grasp, to no effect, blood dribbling out it's mouth.

"Raven…" a shocked Robin gasped.

"On it!" Raven put her hands to the croaking scientist's throat, and healed his wounds in no time.

She then stepped aside courteously and allowed Starfire to zoom in and lift the man up by the shirt.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO OUR FRIEND?" She screamed, shaking the scientist.

"Uh…Uh…" the Scientist was lost for words as Starfire eyed the tiger, with it's crazed eyes and heavily wounded body.

"YOU HURT HIM!" Starfire snarled in the Mad Scientist's face.

"Uh…uh…I'm…sorry…?"

_KRACK!_

"Ooh," Cyborg mutteredas the man dropped to the floor, unconscious and with a nasty bruise on his face.

"What's wrong with him?" Robin limped over to beside the thrashing Beast Boy.

"I sense something different about him," Raven muttered, putting her fingers to her temples. "Give me a minute."

Raven closed her eyes, but then they snap open almost immediately as a "guh!" sort of sound escapes her lips and she falls over.

"What?" Cyborg cries. "Rae, what's wrong?"

"Oh…that was…that's…not Beast Boy," Raven gasped.

"You mean we have rescued the wrong green tiger?" Starfire asked

"No…that was Beast Boy…but not anymore…" Raven shook her head.

"What do you mean?" Robin said.

"He's…primal now. He's been in the same form to long…I mean…it's been five days, hasn't it? He's not Beast Boy anymore. He's a tiger. His thoughts are animal. All rage and pain."

"That's possible?" Robin said with eyes wide.

"Apparently. We need to snap him out of it."

"This is just like that Beast thing…" Cyborg said, still gripping the tiger firmly. Starfire came to help him.

"Only this isn't because of a chemical. This really came from inside of Beast Boy. But he's still inside there somewhere. We just have to bring him out," Raven sighed.

"How?" Cyborg asked.

"Calm him. Talk to him."

"You mean, sedatives?" Robin suggested.

"No, then we might lose him forever. Just try to get him to remember who he is. I'll get into his mind, tell you what to do," Raven shivered.

"Are you okay?"

"It's just…so much rage…it wasn't Beast Boy at all…it couldn't be…" she looked worried. "Okay, let's do it."

She put her fingers to her skull, braced herself and entered his mind. "Ngggghh. Talk, Cyborg, talk?"

"Um…hey there, tiger. This is Cyborg. I'm gonna try…to tell you a story to calm ya down. It's about my best friend. His name was Beast Boy. He was this skinny green kid, and he was…pretty brave. Sometimes things were hard for him, but he never gave up. He was an orphan see. He grew up with a bunch of superheroes and he used his powers for good. Only, his leader was kinda down on him. He was only tryin' to save people, but the leader thought he should catch the bad guy instead. But BB had a big heart, see, and he was just a free spirit. He could never stand by while people were in trouble. So he left."

"Keep going, Cyborg. He can't understand a word you're saying, but he remembers your voice. Just keep going." Raven said though gritted teeth. Robin stood by helplessly as Cyborg let Starfire restrain Beast Boy by herself and moved over to look into his friend's eyes.

"He struck out on his own, and found some friends. He was strange little kid, but man, did he have spirit! He always went for the gold man and was so enthusiastic about everything. You could knock him down, but he'd just bounce back up. Now me, I was pretty down at the time. But I saw this scrawny little guy and how much heart he had and I couldn't feel sorry for myself. Beast Boy refused to let me be unhappy. He'd tell bad jokes and play video games with me. He was kinda annoying but fun t' hang with. Soon he was my best bud. Um…and…"

"He recognizes his name now. I think we're getting through to him. But I need someone else to talk to him, quick!" Raven snapped, her brow furrowed.

"Beast Boy was my friend as well," Starfire said softly. "He was a very joyful person and amusing as well. He was adorable. But sometimes he let his emotions overtake him, and not merely be a part of him. One day, he met a girl that he liked very much. But she was lost, a bit like himself. Unfortunately, she did not have his…fortitude, and let herself be led astray. She hurt him when she did this, and I was quite concerned for him, especially when she attacked us. Even I thought that Terra was lost to us, but Beast Boy did not give up on her. He saw what we could not. He went and helped her find her…strength…and helped her save us all. We were all very proud of him that day."

"Nnn…he understands some of what you're saying…come on…nnn…Robin, I need you to talk!" Raven commanded.

"Huh?" Robin panicked.

"Do it! Now!"

"Uh…uh…Beast Boy…my friend too. He was…a good team player. One time, the Brotherhood of Evil captured me, but Beast Boy single-handedly got together five superheroes and stormed the place. He was a real leader, and saved all of us. I was really impressed…"

The tiger was still.

"Raven, what do I do?" Robin said nervously.

"Tell a joke!" Raven snapped.

"But…I…don't know…any!" Robin stammered.

"Sing the song!"

"Oh no…not the song…"

"ROBIN!" Raven was even paler than usual with strain.

"Okay, okay!" Robin swallowed. "Uh…_Jingle bells…Batman smells…Robin…laid an… egg…the Batmobile…lost a wheel…and the Joker…took ballet…hey…_"

"Yeah, we're definitely reaching him, even if your singing voice is pathetic. Keep going, Robin," Raven screwed up her eyes.

"But-

"Do it!"

Robin sighed. "I hate this song." He cleared his throat and warbled on."_Batman's in the kitchen…Robin's in the hall…the Joker's in the bathroom…peeing on the wall_ ...Whoever made that song up should die…"

"Almost there, almost there…" Raven interrupted him. "Beast Boy, this is Raven. Your friend. Please come back. I know what it's like to be something you're not…and this is NOT you. You can fight it…I know you can…come one! Remember…who…you…were…!"

_ Who…I…am? I'm…me…I'm…Beast Boy…_

And slowly, the tiger shrunk until…it was a boy once more.

Raven's eyes snapped open. "Beast Boy!"

"You are you once more!" Starfire said excitedly.

"YES!" Cyborg and Robin high fived, which proved to be a bad move for Robin's already injured hand.

"Ow…"

"Oh…sorry…"

'You are okay? You do not look okay," Starfire said in concern.

Beast Boy nodded, despite the fact he was indeed, pretty injured and only semi conscious. "Yeah…I…fine. You…guys…see…why…I don't…like…animal…testing…now…?"

"He's back!" Cyborg cheered. "Hug me, Raven!"

"…No."

"We were pretty worried, Beast Boy. You were completely…not you." Robin said.

"I'm…sorry…guys…" Beast Boy muttered.

"It is okay, friend," Starfire said softly. "Please, rest…"

Beast Boy did so. There were a few seconds of silence before Raven rubbed her head. "I have a lion sized headache…"

* * *

"Hey." Cyborg sat on the couch beside his best friend.

"Hey," Beast Boy said. "How's Robin?"

"He snuck into the gym and started doing pushups so now Starfire's sitting on him."

"I'd totally go watch that if I hadn't decided to never leave the couch for the rest of my life," Beast Boy nodded.

"You okay?" Cyborg said uncomfortably.

"Yeah," Beast Boy bobbed his head in time to the TV show he was watching's theme song.

"You're kinda quiet," Cyborg noted.

"Why does everyone declare national emergency whenever I keep my mouth shut for more than five seconds?"

"Because it happens about as often as a national emergency. Actually probably less often."

"You're hilarious, dude. Get your own sitcom or something."

"…I'm sorry it took so long for us to find you. We couldn't track you…it was forever until Robin finally got a call from one of his "connections".

"No worries."

"Well, yeah, a lot of worries. Anything you want to talk about?"

Beast Boy cocked his head. "Yeah…do you think this show's theme song would be less annoying if they took out the banjo?"

"…Stop watching that crap and let's play video games," Cyborg shook his head.

Beast Boy grinned. "You are SO going down. I got SPIRIT, remember!"

"You're going to hold that speech against me for the rest of my life, aren't you?' Cyborg rolled his human eye, using the remote to click in the video game.

"You bet. Ohhhh….Jingle bells, Batman smells…Robin laid an egg…"

"I HEARD THAT BEAST BOY!" Robin screamed from his bedroom. "AND IF YOU SING THAT ONE MORE TIME I'M GOING TO KICK YOU IN-Ow! Starfire get off of me!"

Beast Boy gave a very good rendition of an evil laugh, drowning out the sound of Starfire screaming in Tamaranian.


	21. Kicked Aside

A/N: I actualy wrote this a week ago, but when I uploaded it on to it wouldn't do it. So I was like "I'll do it later." But then I forgot about it. I just remembered last night. So, sorry for the delay!

Oh, and I cant remember if I put this last time, but Teen Titans Go! (the comic based on the show) is in danger of cancellation! NO NOT AGAIN! To save it, write to:

Dan Didio or Paul Levitz

c/o DC Comics

1700 Broadway NYC, NY

10019

Robin

Kicked Aside

I wonder what they're doing right now. What they must think of me. I try to imagine it. I know I'm torturing myself when I do this, but we've already ascertained that I deserve to me tortured.

Beast Boy's blaming it on clones, I decide. Turning it into a joke…because he can't accept it. He's angry too. He's been angry with me for a while now. We're complete opposites, Beast Boy and I. But I know he looks up to me, from when I first met him. Hell if I know why.

Starfire probably doesn't believe it's me too. She's the one I hurt the most. She'll believe eventually though, when she remembers Red X. You did not trust us. That's what she said. Yup, that's me. Loner Boy. Don't trust anyone. Even when they're more worthy of it than I am. I fell into _his _trap. No, don't think about that.

Raven will accept it as the truth as calmly as she always does, though I know her well enough to know that it will hurt her. I'll be adding to whatever else has hurt her because I know something else has. I just haven't figured out what yet. My detective skills aren't up to that task. She sees things for what they are though. Quickly and easily, no delusioning herself. I've always admired her for that.

Cyborg will accept it to. His brain will already be going back over the warning signs, inventing possible scenarios for what happened. He'll be disappointed. I was his friend. He expected better of me. I was the leader after all. Cyborg of all people knows a leader never abandons his team. Cyborg will have to take over, organize the rest. With Raven's help maybe, she's more tactical than him, so she could help him in that area. He'll figure there's still hope for me. He'll try to find out what's going on.

But I can't let him know what's going on. That's the deal, isn't it…that's the deal.

I stare at the spinning gears in front of me. Slade's lair is full of them. I'm sure it's some sort of sick metaphor, like the well-oiled gears of an evil plan or the gears of Slade's extremely vicious and ingenious mind. At least he hasn't made a pun about it yet. That would just be too much.

Yep, I think as I stare at the slowly spinning silver disc. They're Slade's gears…and I'm caught in them. Nothing I can do…nothing…

I miss my Mom and Dad.

Okay, that was a completely random thought for right now. I'm sitting in Slade's cold lair, in a ninga-esque apprentice costume that is really heavy and now I'm missing my parents who died six years ago. Grow up, Robin. Of course you miss your parents. But they're not here, and they would be completely disgusted with you if they were. As would every good person you've ever known. To add to this, you still haven't figured out a plan to get out of this, Boy Wonder. Plans are what you do, so come up with one. Now.

The blankness of my mind is crushing me. This train of thought is going nowhere, except perhaps Ye Old Towne of Self Pity, population: 1. I almost wish Slade would call me to steal something, just so I could stop going around in circles.

"Robin."

Crap. Be careful what you wish for.

_"Robin_."

"Yes?" I answer sullenly.

"I have organized our next theft. You will be stealing another valuable object from Wayne Enterprises."

"Fun," I say dryly.

"Do I detect a note of sarcasm?"

"More like an entire opera," I mutter. Okay, so I probably shouldn't be backtalking this much.

"Robin. Please come here."

I get up and trudge silently towards him.

"I realize you are unhappy," he says, softly and dangerously. "But I am getting very tired of your sulking. I was an assassin once. I only tell you this because I left absolutely no tracks, so you'll never be able to figure out whom I killed and whom I worked for, not with all the technology in the world. But my point is, I don't tolerate failure. In myself, or anyone around me. I always got the job done. When you start a job, you finish a job. You do it well, and you do it thoroughly. I'm sure you know this. I know you can do better than this, Robin. Just as surely as I know you will grow to like the work. Just as surely as you know what's at stake if the job is not done correctly."

He flashes the trigger. My mind goes through a thousand different martial arts techniques I could use to get that thing. I know that he'll block every one. My entire body is tensed.

"Fine. What do want me to do?" I finally say.

He lays out the schematics for me, how to get past the security system, everything.

"What am I stealing?" I ask. "What exactly does it do?"

"That's for later," Slade says calmly.

It's got to be something bad.

But what can I do? I think as I step into the piercing night air. You start the job. You finish the job.

I started this. And unless I do what he says…. they're finished.

* * *

I should probably focus on the blazing starbolt in her hand, but all I can look at are her eyes. They are cold and filled with rage. It's really kind of scary actually. It reminds me of when I first met her. I sometimes forget that Starfire is a warrior, deep down…and that she's deadly. I've seen the rage, the coldness before…just not focused at me. When she looks like that, I have no doubt that she could kill me in three seconds, if she didn't hold back.

Slade tells me to use the blaster, his voice sort of garbled in my pounding head. I'm not really myself right now…Robin has retreated back into my brain, afraid…I'm just someone who hears everything too loudly and sees everything to sharply and is completely completely cold. A martial artist…a robot maybe…dispatching opponents, everything inside…blank expression on face….like a mask…maybe that's all I am? A mask. All I've ever been? I don't know. The blaster heats up.

Starfire's eyes narrow and her hand forms into a fist. Her starbolt gets larger. There's a whining in my skull and somewhere in the distance, the pit of my stomach maybe, a voice is screaming at Starfire…. either to help me or to kill me before I hurt anyone else. Heat up that blaster…

Suddenly the air changes and her eyes soften. I can see her visibly droop. No…the voice in my stomach or my head screams…do it…

"Robin. You are my best friend. I cannot live in a world where we must fight." Her starbolt is off, why is her starbolt off? "If you are truly evil…then do as you must…"

Every particle of my being is screaming to tell her it's not true, this is not who I am, that I'm sorry…Robin's back, kicking his evil robot replacement out of the command center and on impulse the blaster clicks off and I hear my voice, sort of strangled "Starfire….no…I…."

OW. PAIN. My head is suddenly exploding, it seems. I can hear Slade's voice. Robin…something something…order…attack…probes….Oh God.

Click.

And I see something start to spread over Starfire…something orange and red like her whole body is on fire…every cell…every molecule. She twitches and screams and begins to fall. I rush over to catch her. I can see Raven, Cyborg and Beast Boy writhing below. Oh God, what have I done?

I call out to Slade to stop…not really able to hear my own voice…. his voice echoes in my ear like a ghost haunting my brain.

"Attack, Robin. It's the only way to save them. Attack with everything you've got."

So I set her down. I make sure the thermal blaster is on "stun". Starfire calls my name.

"I'm sorry," my voice sort of cracks. And I shoot her. And I retreat, waiting for them to wake up, my fingers brushing the jagged edges of my mask.

It was silly to think I could be something more.

* * *

Smoke bombs always serve well for disappearing acts. If only they could work permanently. I scramble down the side of the building and I'm out of there faster than Kid Flash. I've failed to recover the mysterious object of doom and Raven busted my thermal blaster, but Slade doesn't seem to mind.

"Perhaps you're right. We'll steal it another time."

He's elated I shot Starfire, I can tell. He's that much closer to breaking me. Nothing else matters.

I'm so filled with desperation and anger. Robin's taken the wheel again and he's really ticked off at his evil robot counterpart for what he just did. My mind is like some frothy panicked soup. My legs want to run…I'm already calculating how long it would take to get to Gotham. But I can't…I can't. Must…hit…something…

I kick angrily at the brick wall, pounding it fruitlessly with my fists. Fortunately I don't think Slade's paying much attention to me. He knows he's got me. He knows I have to go back. Pain shoots up my arms and legs as I continue beating up the wall, but I don't care. I. DON'T. CARE. All I care about is what I just did, and how it's tearing up my brain and how I hate…hate…hate…

I slump down to the sidewalk, gasping. And I make a decision. I am going to get that trigger and destroy it. Now. No matter what. I will get that trigger and destroy it even if I have to die doing it. I won't allow him to press it. I will get it.

It seems like a good plan at the time.

* * *

Okay, I'll admit this could have worked out better.

"I have much to teach you. But the first thing you need to learn is gratitude".

Yes, Slade, I am completely full of gratitude to you for blackmailing me, hurting my friends and beating me up. Despite the defiant thought snaking through my brain, I'm scared. I've never seen Slade get angry. It's a little shocking.

The inside of my mouth is filled with blood. I wipe it before it dribbles out and swallow; the bitter taste of it almost making me cough. I watch him and my anger grows again. I have GOT to get that trigger. Everything depends on it. I look at the monitors…my friend's names…so much control…it's too much. I run for him. IwillgetitIwillgetitIhaveto…OWcrap.

Another arm bar. Good one. I'm looking at a face full of floor in two seconds and unable to do anything even when he lets go. Roll…roll…

"I made you my apprentice. All my knowledge, all my power, all for you…" His voice is muted and I feel him grab my hair. "But all you care about are your worthless…LITTLE…IFRIENDS!/I"

More yelling. He lets go of me. I force myself to stand. I try to feel angry. They are not worthless…they are not…

"If the Titans are so distracting, maybe I should just get rid of them."

Not…not…no…this…I can't get it. No matter how hard I try, I can't beat him. He's got me.

"Don't. I'll do whatever you say." I hear myself say it.

I feel him smile under the mask. The mask…

"Good boy. And, from now on, I'd like you to call me Master."

Suddenly, a green blast of energy rips through the room and knocks Slade about ten feet across the room.

My first feeling as I see Starfire, her eyes glowing green and full of rage is a swelling of joy. Yes, she's realized it…realized I could never hurt my friends like this…and now she and the other Titans have come to save me! Then I remember.

"Leave. Him. Alone." Starfire is at her scariest. The cold rage directed at me earlier is now all towards Slade. If I were him, I'd be running right now. But Slade merely looks angry as he gets up and yells "Robin! Attack!"

They have to get out of here. Now. Forget about me, guys.

"Get out of here! Go!" I gesture frantically at the device I have just noticed seams to be the source of the probes power. " You don't know what those beams did to-"

"Dude," Beast Boy says predictably.

"We know," says Raven, not so predictably.

"And we don't care," Cyborg says with conviction.

"We are your friends, Robin. We are not leaving without you," Starfire says softly. Her eyes narrow dangerously and I sense Slade come up behind me.

"How very touching," his voice echoes, dripping with acid. "But Robin doesn't need any friends."

Oh. NO.

Click.

What I see next, seeing it for the second time, it kills something inside me. It's like my heart was punctured with a needle and it's insides are slowly draining out of it. They came here for me. To save me. Even after everything I'd done; they came. They were willing to die for me. I…always seem…to let people down.

"This is the price for your disobedience, Robin. Now do as I command. Attack!"

I hate the sound of his voice. He's trying to take away from me the only thing I have left. Starfire's crying now. I've…never seen her cry…it's my fault she's crying. My fault they're dying.

I don't want to see any more of them cry. I don't Iwant/I to-

That's when I decide. I can't do this anymore. I can't fight them. I can't let them down. No matter what, they lose. We only have one chance. I hope it works. Do. Or. Die.

A plan forms before I can fully understand it, and I manage to choke out the one word I wanted to say to Slade all along.

"No."

And I'm running…running towards the source. Slade's calling my name but it doesn't matter…just got to get…my hands….

What happens next is blinding pain. I'm burning…I'm burning…I try to keep both hands…and then I'm shot through the air landing hard on the floor. For a second it's like I'm dead. I see shadows flitting barely out of sight…that I want to touch…but first.

I force myself to get up. Step…step…step…Okay, I think I'm pretty near Slade, I can't exactly see him.

When I force the words out, they seem crystal clear.

"New deal, Slade. If I lose my friends, you lose your apprentice. And I know how you hate to lose."

Okay, good job. I allow myself to fall to the ground. This isn't gonna…work…I'm…we're all…gonna die. At least…it'll finally…end. I wonder…if wherever you…go…I'll be able to say sorry…to my friends…I'm…I'm…

Okay. Suddenly. Okay. It…worked? Oh wait, foot coming toward me. Somehow I manage to catch it. Slade comes to focus and his good eye widens in surprise. I smile. Yes. Definitely okay.

* * *

We watch Slade's lair crumble into a junkyard. Wheels and gears and evil plans….all come crashing down. I can't believe it's actually over. Well, over for now. Until he returns. But I'm out of hell and back with my friends. I don't lose hope that often. It's not in the job description. But somewhere along the line, I really believed I'd never get out of this. Never be able to look my friends in the eye again. Funny.

"Wow," Beast Boy manages.

"Uh huh," Cyborg agrees.

"This was a very eventful day," Raven acknowledges.

"Robin…" Starfire puts a hand on my shoulder.

"I'm…sorry…" I whisper.

"For what? Not letting us die?" Beast Boy scratches his head.

"Only in your case," Raven quips.

"Hey!"

"No…I'm sorry…I got all caught up obsessing over Slade. I told myself I did it because I didn't want him to hurt anybody. But he really just pushed a button with me. I didn't know who he was and why he kept beating us…he was a threat to everyone…but it was mostly because it was Imy/I city and if I didn't stop him…I would have failed. It was a selfish thing. It was because of my…single mindedness that I walked right into a trap. Slade was just everything that I was…um…afraid…of…that I hated. And because of my…blindness…you were all put in danger. And…that's the last thing…I wanted. But I hurt you. And I'm sorry." I paused for a second. "If Slade ever comes back, we'll bring him down…but because of justice…and everything. Not because of my issues."

There was a long pause in which they all stare at me. Then, suddenly, Starfire was crushing me.

"Accckkk!" She gripps me like iron in her hug of doom. "Star…what…"

"YEAH! He's back!" Cyborg and Beast Boy high five.

"That justice thing clenched it," Beast Boy says. "Robin's the only person I know who could say something like that with a straight face."

"Welcome back," Raven says warmly. "Starfire, he just had one near death experience, please stop trying to give him another."

"Apologies," Starfire lets go of me finally, and I stumbled away, massaging my throat. She was on the verge of tears.

When I finally got my breath back, I gasp, "So…you guys…aren't mad…?"

"Mad? Man, you just got kidnapped for two days and got put through like, I don't know what, then nearly killed yourself (which was stupid, by the way) to save us from dyin'. Why would we be mad?" Cyborg exclaims

"And dude, what just happened was AWESOME!" Beast Boy high fives me. "I mean, it totally hurt but you were all like "No!" and Slade was all like "kick!" and you were all like "catch!" and then you were all TITANS GO! And then we kicked butt! Yeah!"

"Are you okay?" Starfire says in concern.

"Am I…?"

"He's probably dehydrated," Raven says in a professional tone of voice. "Did you eat or drink anything while you were captured? At all?"

"No…"

"That was two entire days. Most people would have passed out by now. Any abrasions or broken bones?"

"You people are crazy," I shake my head. "I'm fine."

"I'm the certified healer here, so I'll be the judge of that," Raven says dangerously.

"Let's just get back to the Tower, y'all," Cyborg grins. "To the T-Car!"

"I am very, very glad you are back, Robin," Starfire sniffs. "I cannot say how much."

"If Starfire hadn't already crushed him and if it wasn't totally unmanly, I'd do the group hug thing," Beast Boy says cheerfully. "By the way, Raven, who are you certified by?"

"Somebody who would dislike you."

"Why is it whenever I ask you anything, I'm like, automatically sorry afterwards?"

I can't help but smile. It's really good to be back.

* * *

I am absolutely exhausted. My entire body is aching. I collapse on the bed in my room. It's definitely great to be back in the Tower. Out of the heavy apprentice uniform and back in my own brightly colored clothes. In my own room, on my own bed that I never sleep in.

As soon as we got home, Raven first made me drink some water, then I went to go take a shower. I leaned against the wall (I kind of had to, in order to stand up, still kind of dizzy from the fight) and let everything wash over me.

This bed is really comfortable. I should probably try to sleep in it on occasion.

Hearing my own friends argue in the living room…it's almost mind numbingly great, like I still can't believe it's finally over. All that time in there…staring at nothing…the desperate thoughts…thinking of everybody I'd let down. Everybody I'd miss so much…

Everybody...

I force myself to sit up and reach for the phone. I have to do it before I can talk myself out of it…after everything I went through…make sure he's okay…

I dial so quickly, before my brain can catch up. A familiar voice answers the phone, in a refined English accent. "You have reached the residence of Bruce Wayne. May I ask who is speaking?"

I can't say anything. I try to make words but I can't.

"Hello?"

"…"

"If this is a prank call, I assure you, you young ruffians, I was once a sol-

"Uh…" I manage to croak. "I…Alfred…"

He recognizes my voice immediately. "Master Grayson?"

I slam the phone down on reflex, breathing hard. Then I put my head in my hands. I couldn't do it…I just couldn't…

I lie down and close my eyes for a minute. My fingers are running over my mask again…no jagged edges this time. It's what I am…but I'm more too…maybe. When Slade's mask broke…he had to hide….he was nothing without it.

If mine broke…what would I be?

I'm more than a mask to them at least. I listen to them. Beast Boy is laughing about something. I should go out there.

When I failed him…I had to leave.

When I failed them…they dragged me back.

Friends. Wish I could keep them safe forever. That I could let them know…I don't know…everything.

But there's always another day with them. We all have a place to hide.

Slowly I get up, staring at the phone and around the room. I sigh, either happily or sadly, I can't tell. Then I get up and follow the laughter…ready to join them.


	22. Words

Words

Raven

"…and thus, we all learned why a brain in a jar should never challenge the primal might of a skilled shapeshifter," Beast Boy said proudly. "Especially when he can just drop him, you know. Of course, none of this would have happened if Robin had listened to by infinite wisdom."

"I said I was sorry. You were right, I was wrong. Do you want to take over as leader or what?" Robin sighed.

"Dude, if there's anything this experience has taught me, it's that leading people takes a lot of work. You can have it," Beast Boy said happily.

Happily, as in really happily. I couldn't help but betray a hint of a smile behind the lips I pursed around be teacup. Though I usually tried to block out others feelings, because it made my head hurt, I still sensed things sometimes, enough to tell the happiness Beast Boy usually radiated was somewhat tainted with self doubt, fear and need for attention. It wasn't like he was crying inside or anything, you could still feel his optimism like a really annoying ray of sunshine, but his happiness was hardly ever pure, he always had a bit of a hole inside him. But right now, he was truly proud of himself. And I was proud of him, I guess. He'd saved the day and put some demons to rest as well. I think I understood him a little more, as much as I'd ever understand Beast Boy.

And now, here I was, sipping tea while our tower was a pulsing centrifuge of teenage superheroes, watching everyone enjoy themselves, while I tried to figure out what had disturbed me so much about that glowy brain guy who I had dispatched with my soul self. Actually I pretty much knew what was wrong. That man had gotten his powers from my father. I had sensed it when I kicked his keister. And this was made me wonder…a fair amount.

"HOUSE PARTY!" I jumped as suddenly food was dumped all over the table and I was staring at a smug redhead with his hands on his hips. "Hey there, gorgeous."

"What did you just call me?" I raised an eyebrow.

He put his hands up in mock fear. "Hey, hey, hey, please don't kill me or anything. I didn't mean to belittle you! I'm from Kansas, I can't help it!"

"Calm down," I rolled my eyes. "Kid Flash, right?"

"Fastest boy alive," he nodded slyly. "Though I like to think that's not indicative of everything I do. You're Raven right? You were with Robin-o when I was given the communicator of doom?"

"Robin-o? Inspired nickname."

"It bugs the hell outta him. We go way back. Plucky sidekicks gotta stick together. But enough about me, what about you? You got some mad mystical powers, I saw you take out those evil creeps like nobody's business with your creepy birdy thing."

" The "creepy birdy thing" is my soul."

"Wow, your soul's shaped like a bird? Would mine be shaped like a lighting bolt?"

"I can't tell. Looks pretty miniscule to me."

"You can see people's souls?" KF raised one eyebrow.

"No, that was sarcasm."

"Is that one your powers? What are the others?"

"Telekinesis, teleportation, emotional manipulation, healing, flight, knowledge of several magic rituals and minimal martial arts training."

"Remind me never to get you angry. Emotional manipulation, huh? Could you make me fall in love with you?"

"Yes. I could also make you relive all your darkest nightmares. Guess which one I find more amusing?"

"Er…"

"So, I see you've converted Jinx to the side of light."

"Yup. Don't worry, she's cool."

"Uh huh. She tried to kill me once."

"Really? Me too!"

"Do you really trust her?"

Kid Flash shrugged. "I believe in the inherent good of people."

"Really. Why did you just want to convert Jinx?"

"I like pink."

"I'm thinking you like girls," I grabbed a slice of pizza.

"Nah. I mean, yeah, I do. But I was watchin' them before. She seemed pretty unhappy. And she was the leader. Flash always told me, take out the leader. Anyway, I was right!"

"Uh huh," I looked at Jinx across the room. She was leaning against the window and staring blankly out.

"You remind me of her, actually."

"I despise pink."

"Somehow I guessed that. Oh, here she comes."

Jinx was indeed coming over, looking disgruntled. "Flash, I want to go." She looked at me without really looking at me. "Raven."

"Jinx," I stuck out my hand. "Glad to see a villain reformed."

She shook it looking surprised. I leaned close to her. "I'm not going to alienate you, Jinx. I've done things I'm not proud of myself. But I've been betrayed before. Trust me, if you betray any of my friends, including any "honorary" Titans, you haven't seen anything near the full extent of my powers. You have the power to cause people bad luck. Well, Jinx, I was BORN unlucky. Trust me when I say I know what I'm talking about." I let go of her hand. "Welcome to the Titans."

Jinx narrowed her cat eyes. "Oh, looks like I'm in for a blast."

"Yeah, okay, that was sweet, Raven," Kid Flash said blithely. "C'mon Jinxy, let's go mingle. Catch ya on the flip slide, bird-girl."

"Ah, but who will be flipping?" I muttered as I watched them go. I decided to move to a less grease smelling table. As I navigated my way through the party, I caught Wonder Girl chowing down everything in reach.

"Hi, Wonder Girl," I said. "Trying to see how super your digestive tract is?"

Wonder Girl swallowed and grinned at me. "Hey, Raven. You can call me Donna, I don't really have a secret identity. No, I have to go back to Paradise Island soon, so trying to eat as much junk as I can. Amazons are health freaks."

"Keep you on a pretty tight leash there," I nodded.

"You have no idea," she sighed. "It's like they think I'll get cooties if I venture here to much."

"I read some about the Amazons," I said. "They're very admirable."

"I'm not really one of them," Donna admitted. "I have no idea where I came from. But you get used to it. Maybe I'll find out someday." She shoved an entire piece of pie in her mouth and looked over at Robin fondly. "Look at him. He's so happy when he's with the Titans. I'm glad for him."

"You know Robin from "way back" too?" I asked.

"Yeah, Batman and Wonder Woman used to team up all the time. Believe it or not, when he was with Batman he used to crack a lot of jokes."

"You're kidding."

"Mostly puns. Really horrible puns."

"He still does that some now," I pointed out. "But…jokes?"

"Yeah, he seemed to be trying to be extra cheerful to compensate for his mentors…eh…dark demeanor. I've never seen a kid under so much pressure to succeed. He lived for Batman's approval. Don't get me wrong, Batman's a great guy, but well…. you'd have to meet him. He has issues, and that really weighed down on Robin. I think you guys have been really great for him. Keep being good friends… he needs it. I do wonder what happened between him and the Dark Knight though."

"Your guess is as good as mine," I shrugged.

"I'm just lucky Wonder Woman's easy going. We're more friends than partners. Though never get her mad, if you do you'll see why she's the most fierce warrior on earth," Donna shivered. "Well, I'd better go. Nice of you to listen to me babble, Raven. I'd really like to spend some time with you when I get the chance!"

She leaned over and hugged me. I stiffened in response and patted her on the back. The girl was all sunshine, I swear. Oddly enough I liked her, though, I thought as she took off. I bet she'd really hit it off with Starfire.

I was starting to get a headache so I decided to find some place quiet. As I threaded through the crowd of spandex and bright colors, I ran into my kids, who here conducting a puppet show with Argent's gloves.

"OY!" I heard an English voice cry, trying to snake a red plasma hand after the giggling Melvin and Timmy. "Give me my gloves, you little deviants!"

"Melvin," I said sternly. "You're more mature than that."

"Bobby wanted them," Melvin giggled.

I looked up at the giant bear who was floating above us and laughing though his creepy sharp teeth. "Bobby, I'm disappointed. We're superheroes here. We don't steal from the poor Goth girl."

Bobby frowned sadly.

"But Ra-ay-ven," Timmy whined. "She's me-ean."

"No, she's right, Timmy," Melvin said. "Ya gots ta listen to her, she's pretty much the closest thingy to a mommy we got."

I flushed a little and took the gloves from them. "Here, Argent," I said, handing her the gloves as she shoved around Speedy and Kole, her cheeks matching her skirt. " These are very nice. The Terrible Two are sorry, right, kids?"

"Sorry," Melvin and Timmy muttered as Bobby growled in consent.

"Thanks, Raven," Argent said, shoving her gloves on. "You two…three ever do anything like that again and I'll show you what "protoplasm" means. I'm off." And she took off in the air, in a way that made me very relieved to discover she wore black shorts under her skirt.

"Tell us a story, Raven, tell us a story," Timmy tugged on my cloak. "I'm bored bored bored!"

I sighed. "If I don't, I'm guessing you'll scream?"

Timmy nodded cheerfully. "Get Teether, he with Waterboy!"

I could feel a massive migraine starting.

* * *

"And I kicked him in the face, straight out of his hat, we turned back to normal and Mumbo was arrested," I finished. Only Melvin was still awake at this point and as I finished her eyes closed. It had been a pretty action packed day, I supposed. I tucked the three of them in Starfire's bed, knowing my room would scare them silly when they woke up. 

My headache was going full force when I heard some very pretty guitar music from down the hall. It was so peaceful; it made me want to nod off to sleep myself. I followed it all the way to the work out room. A boy in a purple vest was perched on a bench, strumming away. I recognized him from the fight. He looked up.

"Sorry to interrupt," I said. He shook his head, smiling at me. "You play very well."

He smiled at me again and nodded in thanks.

"Um, what's your name?" I asked.

He bit his lip and spelled out _J-E-R-I-C-H-O_ with his hands.

"Oh, hello Jericho."

His eyes widened.

_You read?_

"I learned sign language from a book. If it's all right to ask, what happened to your voice?"

Jericho shook his head to show it was okay. _Vocal chords slit by terrorist. Now tell me something about you that is a secret. _

"My father's a demon," I blurted out without thinking. "I can't believe I just said that."

_Don't worry, my dad's pretty near demonic. Did you get tired of the party?_

"Yes. Mind if I sit with you? I need some quiet. You can play though. Your music's too nice to count as noise."

_Thank you. And of course._

I sat down on the floor and listened as he resumed strumming. Something people needed to understand was that words weren't the only way to speak.


	23. Mall of Shopping

Starfire

Mall of Shopping

"Here we are, Raven! The mall of shopping!" I cried, raising my hands to the heavens and grinning at my dour friend.

"I know, Starfire, I can read," Raven said wryly. "Shall we go and me saturated by commercialism?"

"That sounds wonderful!" I led the reluctant Raven by the hand into the place of buying. I had been surprised when she had asked to go with me when we were meditating, though I had not shown it. It seemed our experience with the body switching had bought us ever closer. I was glad. I had always liked Raven very much. Of course, one could say I liked everybody, though this was not completely true in itself. But I had felt a connection with her before now. We were very different, yet we were the same, and I welcomed this chance to get to know each other better. If there was one thing I had learned from switching bodies with her, it was that we had much to teach each other.

The doors opened automatically as I charged in, Raven sauntering after me at her leisure. Soon we were in the wide and decorative hall of the bustling mall of Jump City. I clasped my hands in delight.

"Where shall we go first, Raven?" I asked my friend.

Raven shrugged, looking unsure. "Wherever you want."

"Oh, but that will not do! We must do something you enjoy!" I looked around in concern and spotted something. "How about that store over there?"

"Gee, thanks for placing me in a narrow stereotype," Raven said, eyeing the dour looking establishment in distaste. "No thanks, far too many psuedo-Goths there."

"Oh, no typing of the stereo was meant," I assured her. "I just thought…it looked…interesting…"

"Uh huh."

"I truly do! And that necklace…in the window…it is…very nice?" I said slyly.

"Well, yes, it does have a certain charm," Raven admitted. "Maybe there will be SOMETHING over there. Places like that usually do sell some nice incense."

"Yes," I said in excitement, pulling my friend by the arm. "Sensory aroma for our meditation! We shall shop!"

"Uhhhh…" Raven allowed herself to be dragged to the store.

As we went inside, she began to shirk. "Not sure this is…ooh, look at those candles."

As Raven went to examine the flammable wax ornaments I browsed the uniformly dark and slightly disturbing items for sale. I approached the girl behind the counter who was clad in fishnets and wearing much depressing make up, thinking she looked sad and bored.

"Hello, friend!" I said cheerfully. "How are you on this beautiful day?"

The girl looked startled. "Are you a Teen Titan?"

"Yes, I am Starfire of Tamaran and I fight the crime! What is your name?"

"…Delilah," the girl said cautiously.

"Is today not a glorious day to enjoy life, Delilah? The birds are singing and it is the season of spring! Oh, I believe I will take my friend to the pet store to enjoy the kittens, to up the cheer in her! I adore kittens, they are so fuzzy and young and joyful!" I clasped my hands, hoping the thought of the adorable kittens would elicit a smile in the sour young woman, but instead she looked simply terrified.

"Starfire, think I should get big or small candles?" Raven came over to me.

"The small ones are very nice," I nodded. "Do you not love small adorable things, Delilah? Surely there is something that fills you with joy?"

"Please…get…her…away…from me…" Delilah whispered to Raven.

"She's my friend. Deal with it," Raven said, examining the incense now. "Do you have any jasmine?"

"Over there," said Delilah, edging as far away from me as possible. Raven waved her hand at the jar, coating it with crackling black energy and let it float to her, extracting a few sticks and putting them down for purchase.

"I'll take all this," she said.

"Ah, the sweet smell of jasmine!" I said hopefully. "Happiness personified!"

Raven smirked slightly as Delilah turned away from me and hurriedly took Raven's money. The girl elicited an audible sigh as the two of us exited the door at last.

"Well, that was fun," Raven said, still smirking.

"I feel sad for that girl," I sighed.

"Yeah, that much eye shadow can't be good for your skin. Where do you want to go next?"

"I am hungry. How about the court of eatery?"

"Okay, I'm sort of peckish myself."

Later we sat down at the table with our meals, Raven shaking her head at me.

"Is there a pit stop you _didn't_ buy food on?"

"I prefer to mash all the different food substances together, mix them up with this vanilla milkshake here and drink them. It is quite delicious! You should try it, Raven."

"I'll pass," Raven said, chewing on a fry. "I should be able to keep this down as long as nobody hits on you again. That McDonalds guy was creeping me out especially."

"Hit…on…me? But nobody laid a hand on me!" I looked quizzically at my friend.

"It means…never mind."

I hate it when people say something I do not understand and do not explain when I ask, but I felt I should not press the subject in this case and instead concentrated on eating my concoction. Raven sipped her iced tea and then groaned.

"What is it?"

"Nothing, I just see that Goth boy I met at that party we went to with Blackfire. He keeps popping up everywhere and whenever I see him he gives me that weird look."

"Perhaps you should go talk to him," I suggested.

"No, he was just someone I talked to because I was bored. And he's not very brave either, he fled for the hills the instant that probe thing came, leaving me there. Not my type at all. I just wish he'd stop looking at me like that."

"Well, unlike you he does not possess skills of magic. He knew you could…handle it."

"Yeah, well," Raven shrugged. "Still not my type."

"Raven," I said delicately. "Is there anyone…on the Titans you have the…feelings for?"

"Don't worry, Starfire, Robin's all yours," Raven threw her empty cup into the trash can.

"I did not mean it like that! I am truly curious."

"You were just in my body, Star. You know why I can't pursue romantic relationships. And even if I could there's nobody I feel that way about. I have grown very fond of Cyborg, Robin and…even Beast Boy to some extent, but you wont see me declaring my everlasting love for any of them any time soon…or ever."

"I see." I finished off my shake thoughtfully as Raven chewed on her last few fries.

"On the subject, what's with you and Robin?"

"Hmmm?"

"Don't play dumb. Both of you are mad for each other."

"Really? Robin…you have sensed him feeling…?" I jumped up.

"To some extent. It would be pretty obvious even if I weren't an empath."

I sat back down slowly. " I…do…have the feelings for him. But I do not believe he is ready yet. Perhaps I am not ready either. But he, most of all, needs the time."

"Think you're right on that one," Raven nodded. We both got up and strolled around once more. I noticed that we elicited stares from other patrons, no doubt our clothing choices and appearances made us stand out. I wonder if it surprised them still that we superheroes did things like shop and eat pizza.

"A store of video gamery!" I exclaimed, pointing to the place of beeping lights. "I always wondered at the rapture it holds for the boys. Shall we try it out?"

Raven hesitated for a second then said, "I'll watch."

She followed me into the dark quarters where the blueish light from all the screen seemed a bit eerie. I slipped some quarters (I always wonder why they are called this, as they seem perfectly whole) into the slots of the machine, and the game begins. There are five male characters and one female who has a unnaturally large chest and does not appear to grasp the Tamaranian Warrior Coda the Fifty Second: "Do not fight in stilted footwear." Raven makes a faint noise of disgust. "And the boys wonder why I'm hesitant to engage in this mindless activity."

"I shall pick the male with the hair that reminds me of Robins!" I decree and press the button to select.

The fight begins as my character readies for combat against a large gorilla. I wrench the control to the side as the gorilla attacks and the joystick breaks off in my hand.

"Um, that was not supposed to happen, yes?" I stare at the piece of metal in my fist as the gorilla pummels my character silly.

"Nope," Raven sighs. "Don't worry, I think I can fix it."

She encased the broken piece in my hand with her magic, and I let go of it, allowing her to weld it back on with her mind. She succeeds after a few seconds exertion, and the stick of joy is as good as new.

"Thank you, Raven! I shall play again now!" I reached for the controller but Raven grabbed my hand.

"Um, let's not. How about that car…game…thing…over there? I'll, uh, play against you if you promise not to rip off the steering wheel."

"Truly Raven?" I gasped in joy. "Oh, that is so magnificent and uncharacteristic of you!"

"Guess being in your body affected me in some adverse way," Raven shrugged, sitting down on one of the seats and popping in the mysterious quarter. "Let the pointlessness begin."

We engaged in the race of the car. Raven won the first game due to her familiarity with the mode of transportation, but I won the next game after I had gotten used to the device.

"VICTORY IS MINE!" I cried, jumping up and down. "Do not despair, Raven, I am a trained warrior, it is only expected."

Raven rolled her eyes. "Keep it down, Starfire."

"I apologize, my friend. Am I being a sore winner?"

"A tiny bit."

"Well, I will not flaunt the fact I am superior to you any longer, then," I said slyly, as Raven got up to leave.

She turned around and raised an eyebrow. "We had a tie."

"Ah, but you are too fear filled to take another game, knowing I shall win now that I am accustomed to this gamery. I was trained by the Warlords of Okaara, after all, there is not shame in admitting my reflexes surpass yours many times over."

"I see what you're doing, and I'm not playing another game," Raven said sternly. "The glow of that screen is giving me a headache."

"Very well. I shall inform Beast Boy of your defeat. I am sure he will be kind about it and not pester you for days at all."

Raven narrowed her eyes.

We played four more games of the video, remaining consistently tied, before she called it the quits again.

"I have still beaten you by one game," I said cheerfully as we exited the facility. "But you fought honorably, so I shall not tell Beast Boy."

"Kind of you," Raven droned as we passed a store window. She glanced at the black sweater. "Hm. Nice."

"Let us go in!" I grabbed her arm.

"Wait, I-

"You said you liked the sweater, yes?"

"Yes."

"Then we shall go try it on!"

"I'm never going to wear it. I never wear anything but this," she gestured at her uniform. "In case we get called on a mission. I guess."

"It does no harm to try it on!" I grabbed her and dragged her into the store with zeal. "I shall try on many clothing adornments as well!"

"Starfire…" she sighed as I handed her the black sweater. I ignored her and went about finding my own clothes. Unfortunately I liked everything in the store, so I had a very trying time picking out things. When I got back to Raven, she was still standing there holding the sweater.

"You should try it on!" I urged her once more.

"I said no," Raven sighed.

"Very well. I will try my clothes on. You will tell me what you think?"

"Whatever."

I zipped into the room of change, and pulled on a pair of pants that were to the length of my ankle, and a shirt with the shortness of sleeves that left my navel bared and rushed out to Raven who raised an eyebrow.

"You change clothes extremely fast."

"Thank you. How does it look?"

"Fine."

"It does not make my rear look large and my hair look ugly?" I said, as I had seen a woman say on a very strange show of the television which had involved many long lost siblings and copious kissing and crying. I much enjoyed saying it as it made me feel like an earthling, but Raven gave out a sigh big enough to blow my hair back.

"Starfire, nothing could make you look ugly and you know it. So stop pointlessly suggesting otherwise."

"I do not understand," I said hesitantly.

"You know you're pretty. Look, that guy at the counter is ogling you like a piece of meat. People do it wherever you go, you just don't notice them."

I turned my eyes to the boy at the counter who looked away rapidly.

"I…I do not believe I look different than anyone else on my planet," I said, staring down at my body.

"Tamaran must be a very interesting place."

"I am…not any prettier than you," I said to Raven.

"Really? Then what was that "what if I am stuck looking like this forever" comment about?" Raven asked, crossing her arms.

I felt my cheeks turn hot. "It was nothing against your physical appearance. I was merely upset at not being in my own flesh."

"Especially since my flesh is gray."

"It is a very lovely shade of gray!"

"Lovely shade of gray? Did our friend at the store of darkness rub off on you or something?" Raven smirked.

"…And your eyes are like…pools of…violets…"

"…"

"You are very pretty, Raven, so do not say you are not!" I said angrily.

"I wasn't. Looks are superficial and a matter of perception. They do not concern me. I have…bigger things to deal with." Raven turned away. "It's what's inside that counts," she said softly. "Unfortunately."

I did not know what to say to this partially odd statement. A long silence falls between us.

"…Many things clash with orange I am told," I finally say. "Your skin color is probably preferable."

Raven snorted slightly. "Give me the sweater."

I handed it over to her with a grin. She did not go to the room of change, but unclasped her cloak and pulls it over her leotard.

"You look lovely!" I clapped my hands together.

"And here I was expecting you to tell me I looked like a cow," Raven looked over her shoulder at me. "If you want to get through that pile of clothes you've got, you better use that "quick change" superpower."

I giggled and clasping a skirt to by chest, flew into the room of change, fully aware Raven would merely say "fine" to whatever I tried on.

We left the store not having bought anything. I had urged Raven to get the sweater, but she pointed out we lived in California and I could not choose which outfit to buy, even ruling out those fishnets because of how Raven had choked at the sight of me displaying them. Raven checked the time.

"It's getting late. We should probably go soon."

"Perhaps one more thing first," I said, looking around. When I saw a certain store I felt a dash of joy. After the store of video gamery and the one of clothing, it would be nice to go to a place Raven would truly enjoy.

"How about the store of books here?"

Raven's head turned very quickly. "Hm. All right."

I followed her to the place and watched with gladness as she headed immediately for a shelf and began flipping through. I myself floated along and tried to find something of interest. I came to a section labeled "graphic novels".

"The women here have even bigger grebnacks than the lady in the game of the video," I kneeled down. "Curious."

After about a half hour Raven came over with three newly purchased books. "Ready to go?"

"The people in the section here are superheroes much like us!" I informed her. "The stories are very entertaining, but the women seem to be formed into uncomfortable positions for a reason I cannot discern."

"Uh huh."

"And while the men are fully clothed, the female garments are minimal and often impractical."

"Have…you looked at yourself lately, Starfire?" Raven said.

"I do not understand," I said, looking at myself.

"Never mind."

"I just do not see earth people dress like this very often in the real life. Oh, and there's quite a bit of bloodshed. And death. And something about multiple universes that is very-

"Please don't kill your brain, Starfire. Quit reading that." Raven took the book out of my hands. "Come on, the mall's about to close."

"Very well." I got up and we floated out into the open streets again. Raven retied the bag she had deposited her books in as the day darkened a bit more. Then we took off into the sky toward our home.

When we entered our T shaped fortress, Beast Boy was sitting and watch the television. He looked at us oddly.

"Where were you two?"

"The mall of shopping!" I exclaimed. Raven looked away.

"Wait," Beast Boy sat up straighter. "You and…Raven…were shopping? Together? You and RAVEN?"

"Yes…" I said slowly.

"Dude…I can't believe it." He stared at us for several seconds. "I…I…Raven…mall…with Starfire…" Suddenly he broke into a raucous fit of laughter. "Oh my God! This is hilarious! Did you buy matching pink twinsets and get your nails done?"

"That sounds glorious! We should do that next time, Raven," I said to my friend as Beast Boy rolled off the couch and onto the floor.

"Ahahahahaha…did you sample makeup? Did people attack you and spray you with perfume? Did you get a FACIAL?"

Raven made her way across the room, stepping on Beast Boy in the process. I floated over him and drifted down behind her as she stopped at her room. She turned to face me with caution.

"Shall we meditate tomorrow morning?" I asked her. "At the clock of ten?"

Raven nodded. "Sure. Okay."

I turned away, beginning the walk towards my room. I was very tired.

"Starfire?" I heard Raven say. I turned to face her.

"Yes, Raven?"

"I…had… um…fun. Today," she looked down at her shoes.

"I did too," I said, smiling warmly at her. "Very much."

I continued to smile all the way back to my room, and until I fell asleep with my head hanging off my bed.


	24. Storybook Ending

Cyborg

Storybook Ending

Lookin' back on it, I always sort of hated him so I wouldn't have to hate myself too much. After all, I had to split the hatred or else it would be too much for me to take.

Screwed up right? In more ways than one. Maybe it was selfish. It was definitely selfish. I don't wanna whine, but I felt I deserved to be selfish about that one thing. I'm stuck in a half metal body and I save people for a living. I always try to be a good person otherwise. So I reserved the right to do this one petty thing. I reserved the right to hate him. I reserved the right not to be the bigger man and forgive him. I reserved the right to be selfish about it.

But it turns out you can't be selfish about anything, or it blows up in your face.

You can't leave a wound open, or someone will pour salt into it.

That's the way the world works.

My world, anyway.

But let's get offa that. I'm here to tell you a story right? And it's not my story either. It's his.

His parents were vaudeville nutjobs. They were loud and rambunctious and hardly ever there. He was just the opposite of them in every way. They went off to see the world, ignoring him, and were surprised when they came back to find a quiet studious boy, shy as hell and obsessed with science.

They chided him to be a free spirit, not realizing they'd caged him in the first place. He resented them and their loud boisterous ways. He was embarrassed for them. Around the time he was a teenager the rift deepened and they lost him forever.

He had a lot goin' for him, see. He was SMART. He was gonna change the world. He got to college solely on scholarships and met a pretty girl there as smart as him. He got her pregnant quick, and they had to get married, and they fell on some hard times. They both were determined to finish college and had to work part time jobs. They lived in a ghetto where the sounds of gunshots interrupted their studying ever night.

That's where I came in. Victor Stone, only kid of Silas and Elinore. I don't think they ever really wanted me. It was cuz a me they had to be in poverty for a while after all. But Mom, she tried. Dad, not so much. He loved me sure. He wanted the best for me.

But he wasn't against pushin' me a little too hard.

They even did experiments on me, ain't that funny? Like that's all I had been in the first place. I got an IQ of 170 as a result. Not that anyone could tell, Dad would say. He pushed me to be better, smarter.

But I lived up to the Stone legacy. I was the exact opposite of my parents. From the first play football game in kindergarten in the towns crappy little public school, I loved the Igame./I Sports. Athletics. Whatever you call it…the rush of competition, the strive to succeed. The sweat. The blood. The adrenaline. The feeling of just being ALIVE. That's what I love most. I love feeling alive. Pumping heart, busting lungs, endorphin high alive. The next thrill, the next rush, the next struggle. That's what it's all about for me.

I hate to say this, but I never felt alive with my parents.

My dad didn't go for the sports thing. He thought I was wasting my potential. He could never understand. Mom tried to get him to ease up on me a little. Neither of them ever came to my games. We argued a lot, me an' dad. I was tired of living his dream. He was like what stood between me and my happiness. I was star quarterback, I had a girlfriend, good grades. Everything was goin' swell for me. Except. Dad.

It was like he'd spent years programming me and gotten upset when I gained self-sufficiency. I was tired of being pushed in a direction I didn't wanna go.

One night we had a really bad argument. I left the house, ran away for a few weeks.

I decided to come visit them, maybe try to explain, maybe try to make up. So I stopped by STAR Labs, where they were workin' on penetrating the dimensional barrier. They'd just finished some prototype cybernetic replacement for body parts of wounded soldiers. Bet you can see where this is going.

My peace offering didn't work out and me an' dad got to arguing. Mom tried to get between us- and I don't know what happened next…if Dad pushed her away, or I pushed her away or we both pushed her away…I remember it bein' Dad. But maybe that's what I want to remember? I was always so sure it was him until now.

Anyway, whoever pushed her away, or maybe she just tripped, she accidentally grabbed on a lever that opened the damn dimensional barrier. Bing bang boom, say hello to weird blob creature attackin' my mom. And me, I rushed to her rescue. Wound up getting attacked too. I just remember the pain, but I guess Dad pulled a "recall" switch and sucked that creature back into it's dimension, but it was too late. Mom was dead and I…should have died.

But I didn't.

Because of Dad.

He used those cybernetics and made me…

What I am.

When I woke up and saw what I was, I wished he'd let me die. I demanded him to kill me. That feeling of being alive…was gone. Everything was numb. Everything had changed. It didn't seem fair that your whole life could change like that. Mom dead, you as good as…and Dad…well, as far as I was concerned, he'd turned me into what I wanted all along. A living science experiment.

I ran away as soon as I was strong enough. I blamed him for all of it- Mom dyin', my life goin' to crap, because I needed someone to blame. Badly. Or else, I'd self destruct. He tracked me down, tried to talk, to call, to apologize, to help me. But nope. I got a crappy job and a crappy apartment to match. I was kicked outta high school. No future in football. Only thing that helped was these abilities I gained. They scared me a hella lot at first, but part of me thought they were awesome.

But. Like I said, this isn't my story. It's his. Silas Stone stopped pursuing his son and went back to the lab, the only place that made sense.

And now you know the beginning.

Here's the end.

"WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION, STARFIRE, PRINCESS OF TAMARAN!" Beast Boy screamed as Star giggled. "You owe her ten dollars, rust bucket."

"Someday, I will beat you in an arm wrestling contest," I grumbled, handing over the bill. "Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not next week, maybe not even next year…"

"Maybe not ever…" Starfire chirped.

"Oooh, good one, Star!" Beast Boy punched her in the arm, and jumped out of the way when she tried to playfully punch him back. "Break out the dinner plates, Cy, cuz you just got SERVED!"

"Hey, greenie, why don't YOU compete against me in arm wrestling?" I growled.

"Why don't YOU compete against me in rewiring your genetic code to take on the appearance and abilities of anything in the animal kingdom? Oh, that's right, because YOU CAN'T DO IT!" Beast Boy stuck out his tongue.

"The question is, why would I want to? It's not like you use your powers creatively at all…"

"Says Mr. Oh-Look-It's-My-Sonic-Cannon-For- The- Ten- Millionth- Time!"

"Why you-

"KEEP IT DOWN PEOPLE, I'M TRYING TO WORK!" Robin screamed from across the living room.

"Still having trouble on the Sunday crossword?" Beast Boy asked.

"YES!"

"How about a five letter word for COMPLETE SILENCE?" Raven moaned from her meditative position.

"Um, bored?" the little green dude guessed.

"You have ten seconds to shut up before I make you believe you're a chicken."

"Shutting up," Beast Boy zipped his lips. "…Can you really do that?"

Raven kneaded her fists into her forehead. "No. But you have no idea how much I wish I could."

"Message for a Mr. Victor Stone," a smooth female voice sounded as the viewscreen blinked on suddenly.

"Man, I am SO tired of wrong numbers!" Beast Boy growled.

"Um, no," I said cautiously, getting up and walking towards the screen. "That's my name."

"No, your name is Cyborg," Starfire said slowly as if concerned.

"My real name, Starfire," I said patiently. "Yeah, who is it?"

"Um, hello, Mr. Stone," the face of an Asian woman flickered into view. She was very pretty, but looked sad. "I work at STAR Labs."

"I see," I said evenly. I felt so calm. I knew a storm was coming, whether it was the questioning glances of my friends to the expression on the woman's face, but I felt that peace, that quiet you get before some natural disaster happens.

"I…I don't know how to say this. I'm your father's lab partner…and recently, he got some radiation poisoning from a project he was working on…and…he's dying," She looked down tears welling in her eyes. "I'm so sorry. He's…only got a few days left. He didn't want me to tell you…didn't want to bother you. But I thought you'd want to know."

"Ah," I said even more calmly than before. "Well, thank you for telling me."

She looked up at me puzzledly. "He's at Mercy Hospital. If you want to visit him. I'd suggest soon."

"Thanks Miss…?" I said questioningly.

"Rutledge," She continued to stare at me then seemed to go steely for a second. "Mr. Stone. I know you two are on bad terms. But I say with the most certainty I've ever said anything, that man loves you like everything. If I were you, I'd visit him."

"Your concern is touching," I said blankly. "Goodbye." I pressed the off button on the view screen and her picture flickered away.

A silence seemed to rock the tower. All four of my friends were gathered around me, staring. I could hear the air conditioning ventilating near silently in the distance.

Beast Boy finally broke the shadow of silence. "Dude…"

"Cyborg. I'm so sorry," Robin put a hand on my shoulder. "I…I know what you're going through."

"Dude, me too," Beast Boy nodded.

"Me the third," said Starfire soulfully.

"Yeah, me…too," Raven said, staring at me oddly.

"Heh. Maybe we should all sign up for group therapy or something," I snickered.

Robin's mask arched up in it's trademark way. "Uh, Cyborg? You did hear what that woman said, didn't you? Your dad's…dying."

"He's using jokes to cover up his pain," Beast Boy whispered. "Someone told me that's what I do."

"Beast Boy. You don't use jokes to cover up your pain. At. All," Raven sighed.

"You don't know that! I'm a very complex person. I have, like, deep psychological reasons for everything I do."

"You joke because you're obnoxious and slightly insecure. You don't do it to cover up any suffering," Raven paused. "Most of the time."

"Ah HA! So you admit I do it sometimes! See, I am so deep!"

"Ugh…this isn't about you anyway. We're supposed to be talking about Cyborg."

"Oh yeah. I'm focused, I'm focused!" Beast Boy looked around. "Oh…um, where did he go?"

I let Beast Boy's voice fade into the distance as I traveled down the hall. I should be feeling something. Anything but_ numb_. Numb like the…no, I can't think about that. I can't get angry. I have to visit him if he's…hm. She did say he hadn't wanted her to bother me. Maybe he'd get angry if I visited? Confusing. Always was between me and him.

I bet he's not even dying. I can't even imagine my great scientist father succumbing to something so…every day as death. Why doesn't he just whip up a youth serum or a cure to radiation? After all if he made me he…uh…hmm.

Should I or shouldn't I?

She said he loves me.

Whoever the hell that woman is anyway. His partner. Ran out to get a young female partner the second Mom died didn't he? Well, what does she know?

I guess he would have to care about me some. If he bothered saving me. I remember screaming at him to just let me die, and how he started crying.

Were the tears real?

Was I real?

Was…this…real?

If nothing else, I should visit him to see if I still care. See if I can find some…answers. Maybe I won't even go in. Just go to the hospital and ask how he's doing.

Bet he's not even there. Bet he already checked out.

I mean, out of the hospital. Not out of…

Dammit. I need the T-car.

I got my baby out of the garage. As I revved up the engine, I thought about Dad again. Would he be proud of me, for building this car? It was state of the art, after all. Scientifically. He'd probably scoff at me for wasting time on something like a car. For getting so emotionally invested in it. Especially when it blew up all the friggin' time and everyone but Robin and me could fly anyway and Robin had a monogrammed motorcycle and…

You know, I thought as I hydroplaned across the water, I always thought I'd be numb forever after the Cyborg thing. But I enjoy life, still. I love being in this car, I love kicking bad guy butt, I love my friends, I still love football…I've built a life here. And I have mad superpowers, that's gotta count for something.

Maybe there will always be something missing but…

I'm…

Happy.

Now.

Huh.

So maybe Dad didn't turn me into a monster. Sure he wasn't the best father, but he wasn't like…Raven's dad or anything.

So what am I mad about?

Well, for instance, right now he's screwing up my life again by contracting radiation…

I realized I was outside the hospital. I go in and up to the counter. A bored nurse with fake red hair is smoking a cigaratte. Which is definitely a hospital health violation. I will be speaking with the manager.

"Hi, I'd like to see Silas Stone."

"Who're you?" she asked, impressively unsuprised at my appearance.

"His son. Victor."

"I need ID."

"I, uh…" I held up my Titans communicator weakly as she tapped into the computer. Suddenly a lady I hadn't noticed in the waiting room walks up to me. I recognize her as Ms. Rutledge, the woman who called me.

"Victor! You made it!" she held out her hand. I shook it carefully.

"Well, uh, he…is my dad. Uh…"

"If you pull up Silas Stone's file, you'll see he has a son named Victor who is a superhero on his contact list," Ms. Rutledge said sharply to the nurse. "I hardly see how there could be any confusion."

"Mmmkay," the nurse said. "He's in room 508. Don't touch 'im though."

"Do you want me to come with you, Victor?" Ms. Rutledgge asked.

"Call me Cyborg," I muttered. "And…uh…I…"

"Of course, it's a family matter," the raven haired woman said smoothly. "Go up and see him."

"Oh…uh…right…" I stepped into the elevator. As it drifted upward under my feet, I began to grow scared. I had been a long time. What would I find in that hospital room? Would I be able to stand being around him?

Down the hall, and to the door labeled 508…I took a deep breath before I knocked. When I didn't get an answer, I opened the door a tiny bit. It took a few seconds before I realized the shriveled old man sleeping in the hospital bed was…my dad. He looked…so…defeated. So…not…my dad.

Maybe this was a mistake.

The old mans eyes flickered open. "Whozat?"

"Uh," I opened the door slightly wider. The mans bleary eyes widened in return.

"Victor? I…told…Sierra not to call you."

Sierra was Ms. Rutledge, I guessed. "Oh...well. Here I am."

"Come a little closer…it's been so long."

I stepped forward a little, closing the door behind me.

He struggled with his words. "You look…er…look….uh…"

"Older?" I said helpfully, not able to keep a slight edge of bitterness out of my voice.

"…well-adjusted," my dad finished shamefully. I stared at him for a while. Finally, I sat down.

"How'd ya get saddled with radiation poisoning?" I wondered at him.

"Trying to cure said illness," Dad laughed.

"That makes no sense."

"Much like anything I ever did, eh?" he chuckled.

"I guess."

He looked at me awkwardly and if I didn't know better…I'd say fondly.

"I've heard…about what you're doing. The…superhero team thing. The lives you've saved….it's…really good, Victor. I'm…it's good."

I shrugged. "Not much else a super-strong cybernetically enhanced guy can do."

More awkward silence.

"The Titans…they're good friends to you?"

"Oh yeah, the best," I nodded.

He turned his head toward the window in his room. "That your car? The white and blue one down below?"

Oh. Great.

"Yeah, it is."

"It's very high tech looking. You built it?"

"Yep, with my own circuits an' everything," I said. Dad looked away guiltily.

"Well, it's a really…marvelous invention, Victor. You should be proud."

"Please call me Cyborg," I said, looking down. "That's what…everyone calls me."

He looked over at me. "I can't call you that, Victor. It's not your name."

"It's what I am," I said, perhaps a little sharply. I could feel the anger again now. I got up from the chair. "I better go now." I went to open the door, then stopped and looked at my Dad's forlorn face. "…I'll come back tomorrow."

"Vic-Cyborg. Would you mind…bringing your friends?" he asked softly.

I stared at him. "Why?"

"I'd like to meet them. Please?"

I scratched my head. "Okay. I'll ask them." This time I opened the door for real. "Goodbye."

"Goodbye. And…Victor? Thank you for coming. You didn't have to. "

"I know," I said, and I closed the door behind me.

I walked down the stairs and met up with Ms. Rutledge.

"Was he happy to see you?" she asked me.

I shrugged. "I guess."

She hesitated, looked down. "Look…he never told me what went on between you two…but I guessing it has something to do with…this?" She gestured at my body.

"Are you his girlfriend?" I asked abruptly.

"Wha-? No. Oh no. After your mother…he'd never…he's still in love with her. I'm only his partner because STAR Labs stuck me with him." She shook her head sheepishly.

"But…do you…love HIM?" I said carefully.

She stared at me. "I…I…"

"Never mind." I was tired. "Just be sure to warn the hospital to expect some unusual company tomorrow."

I left her standing there.

"Okay. Here we are," I opened the glass door and let my friends through. All of them had solemn looks on their faces. They'd agreed immediately when I'd asked them. I wished I hadn't, even though all of them were being uncharacteristically silent, even Beast Boy. I was bringing back bad memories for all of them. I know people and I could see the memories flashing through them as they thought about parents…and death.

I went up to the secretary's desk. There was new one this time, not the health violating lady from before.

"Hi, we're here to see Silas Stone. I'm his son. If you look in his files…"

The nurse looks up at me sharply. "Silas Stone?"

"Yeah."

The nurses expression suddenly twisted into one of pity.

"Mr. Stone, I am so sorry."

Oh.

"Your father-"

No.

"He passed away last night. In his sleep."

No.

"There was nothing we could do. I'm sure he felt…"

"Cyborg," Robin put a hand on my shoulder as I turned around. Starfire stared at me though tearful eyes and Raven and Beast Boy simply gaped in shock.

"I have to go," I said dully. "I have to think."

Robin's hand slipped off my shoulder as I quickly moved across the waiting room and into the street.

This time it was a different kind of numbness. A pounding one that was threatening to choke me, suffocate me, give way to something terrible. I walked so fast I was a blur. I never truly thought he could die. Someone like him. It seemed whatever happened he would always be the one to survive unscathed. And our last meeting…geez, I hadn't exactly been polite. At least I came…though I hadn't wanted too.

I realized I was in front of Dad's house, that was where I had been heading without even thinking, heading with cybernetically enhanced quickness. I went in.

Death seemed to hang around the house already. What was I doing here? What did I expect to find? I went to his room anyway, my footsteps echoing loudly across the empty little cabin, raising dust like a sand storm.

When I opened the door to his room, I couldn't help but gasp.

There were newspaper articles, as many as in Robin's Evidence Room, plastered on the wall. All of them were about the Teen Titans. With my mouth open I examined them

_ Brand New Group of Superheroes to Protect Jump City_

_Titans Incarcerate Mumbo_

_New Member Terra Accepted into The Teen Titans_

_Teen Titan Cyborg Takes Down HIVE Academy_

_Profile on the Teen Titans_

_Titans Said to Be Involved in the World Ending Briefly_

_Titans Tower Attacked Once Again_

_Titans Take Down Brotherhood of Evil_

_Titans Agree to Be Interviewed After Threat of Legal Action_

_Are the Teen Titans More of a Threat than an Aide?_

I scowled at the last one. Whoever this Bethany Snow person was, she could take a hike. But…wow. All this. Dad had really been keeping up with me and the Titans. It was almost an obsession. It was almost like he'd….really….missed me. I stared at the computer in his room. I wondered…

I didn't even have to bother to hack as I guessed his password easily ("Elinore"). I wanted to find out more about him…but there was nothing about him on the computer. It was all about the Titans and me. He's worked up a profile on each of my friends based on articles in the newspaper and the Internet. They were all amazingly thorough. He'd even gotten Beast Boy's real name somehow, and a bunch of information on his parents (mostly scientific papers they'd written, but also a short biography) and a huge workup on the Doom Patrol and all the missions they'd went on. For Starfire, it was all the information on her that had ever been published in a newspaper, the exact location of Tamaran and scientific analysis on the Vegan system throughout the years, ancient sighting of Tamaranians and Tamaranian culture. Robin's file has all the information on Batman and Robin that had ever existed, including the few security tapes existing on them crimefighting. Raven's had loads of information on Trigon and Azarath, and of course all the stuff about her as a Titan. I didn't look too deeply in any of them, feeling like I was invading my friends privacy somehow. My file has just all the stuff on me ever since I'd become a Titan. There was also a letter to the editor he'd written complaining about the Bethany Snow article.

I had to sit back in my chair. It really was an obsession. How much had he missed me? How much would one visit, one gesture of forgiveness have meant to him?

The feelings inside me…I didn't like them. I didn't like having something else to feel guilt and regret about. I missed the hatred. But I was way past that now. No going back.

That's when I noticed at the end of my file there was a letter.

A letter to me.

D_ear Victor,_

_I wish I could send this letter. But the instant I wrote the first word, I knew I never would. I've already told you how sorry I am, but you never accepted my apology and I don't blame you. But I am so sorry._

_I was a fool. I was so busy with my work I never realized the blessings I had. You-and your mother…were both so wonderful…it seems like I had to lose you to realize that. I know you don't like the half-life I've given you. But you have to understand, I couldn't let you die with your mother. I couldn't lose you. I wasn't thinking of the ramifications I was just thinking desperately of how to keep you alive._

_I wasn't a good father. I pushed you so hard I pushed you away. I know you felt like you were an experiment to me. But I really do love you. Never doubt that. There's not a day I don't think of what I did to you. I'll always live with that pain. I'm all alone now. I've lost you and your mother…and there's no doubt I deserve it._

_My pride isn't worth anything to you, I imagine. But I am very proud of you. You seem to have adjusted brilliantly. You have taken the horrible situation I put you in and made the best of it. You're out there doing good, protecting out city and saving people every day and that is such an amazing noble thing. Those friends you have, those equally skilled and righteous minded young men and women- they are a better family to you than I ever was. In the newspapers, they describe you as a buoyant, friendly and dedicated person, which warms my heart._

_I wish I could talk to that person. I wish we could talk about your mother because I miss her so much and I know you miss her too. I wish I could meet these friends of yours and thank them for all they've done for you. They all sound like amazing people. I am so glad you've found a family._

_But I know I will probably never see you again, unless I get caught in a fire or something. And it's probably for the best. I don't want to intrude on your newfound stability and add to your grief._

_I just wish there was a way to let you know how much I love you._

_Sincerely,_

_Dad_

When I finished the letter, I was crying. As silent as my tears were, they seemed to echo everywhere. Now I would never be able to answer that letter.

I should have realized, that day I woke up, saw what I was and began to scream and rage about being as good as dead- that I wasn't.

I could still feel. I was still alive. Because I could feel pain…and nothing makes you feel more alive than that.

The dead don't feel pain. So I hope my father is finally free of his.

After a while I went outside, and found Ms. Rutledge staring at the house from across the street. When I caught her eye, she turned and walked away

When I finally got back to Titans Tower, those equally skilled and righteous minded young men and women were waiting in the living room. We were all silent for a minute as we stared at each other. Starfire got up from the couch and came over and hugged me.

"Friend," she said, muffled against my chest. "I am so, so sorry."

"We all are," Robin nodded.

"We wish we could make you feel better," said Raven.

"Well, I , uh, actually…made you a steak," Beast Boy muttered. "Will that help?"

Everyone stared at Beast Boy and Starfire let go of me.

"Say what?" I exclaimed.

"Yeah, well, I wanted to make you feel better, and maybe make up for sabotaging every steak you've ever made by setting the oven really high when you weren't looking…"

"HA, I knew it!"

"So that's why the bathroom smelled like vomit," Raven mused.

"Heh, well, y'know, I'm a good cook. Mostly 'cuz I usually made the meals for the Doom Patrol cuz everyone but Mento and Elastigirl had "physical challenges" and Rita can't cook worth anything and Mento was always "busy"…so it was me or takeout usually. Anyway, the steak probably tastes good if you get past the fact it's a dead animal…" Beast Boy babbled.

"Wow. You must really like me," I shook my head. "Gimme the steak!"

Beast Boy scurried off and Robin cleared his throat. "So…Cyborg. Do you want to talk about it?"

"What's there to say?" I shrugged, sitting down with a sigh.

"Well, if you feel like it, you could tell us of your father," Starfire said softly as Beast Boy came in with the well cooked steak, trying his hardest not to make gagging noises. "We would like to know."

I looked down at all of them for the longest time as they stared back. They were all I had now, weren't they?

"Well, all right," I cleared my throat. "Let me tell you a story…"


	25. Dreams Dwindle

Dreams Dwindle

Raven

"MMnmm…Where'm I?"

Images come into focus around me and I really wish I hadn't asked that question. The world is barren and desolate and twisted wraiths of stone dot the horizon…and I remember…I'm in hell.

"Raven? Is that you?"

Oh no.

I see it clearly now. He plans it out this way. Lets me see each friend. Gives them time to reassure me it's not my fault. Then kills them in front of me.

"Raven?"

I shouldn't go.

But I have to. I'm drawn to him. I can't fight it. Maybe I can save him. Maybe I can teleport us to another dimension. I have to try. Have to.

"Ra…ven?"

Robin's voice is strangled. He's in pain. Now I have to go.

"Robin? Where are you?"

"Behind the statue of the guy on his cell phone."

I move the statue gently out of the way and Robin's lying there, flat on the ground.

"What's wrong with you?" I float down beside him.

"Leg's broken, I think," he grimaces.

Indeed, the green clad leg is sticking out in entirely the wrong direction.

"Don't worry, I'll fix it," I tell him, placing my hands gently on the damaged limb. He shudders slightly but doesn't say anything. I concentrate… and…and…

"Powers aren't working. I'm sorry," I mutter with a sigh, letting go of him.

"S'okay. Have you seen the others?"

How could I tell him? We don't have that much time left, and it would…destroy him. And what he'd think of me…for letting it happen…

"No," my voice cracks slightly.

"Oh. Well, I'm sure they're okay. They can endure a lot. Good team…" he doesn't really seem to be talking to me, more to…I'm not sure. We sit in silence for a few minutes.

"We should go find them," he breaks it finally. "I just need some means of support. Hey, maybe you could teleport…oh right, your powers aren't working…need a stick or –yes!" He extracts his staff from his utility belt and extends it planting one end firmly on the ground, and slowly forcing himself up…I grab his shoulder so he doesn't fall, but don't pull him up.

"Robin…"

"Is something wrong?" he squints at me. "You're not blaming yourself for this, are you?"

"No," I humor him. "Guilt trips are your job."

"That sounds like something Beast Boy would say," he says with a smile.

"Listen, Robin. I just want to tell you that…you're a really good friend…and a good leader. The only thing that's wrong with you is that you're too hard on yourself."

"Oh…thanks," Robin stares at me. "Raven…is everything…?

"If anything happens…I want you to know…"

BAM. The earth explodes behind me and there he is, like he's been waiting for his cue offstage. Robin desperately tries to keep upright after the shockwave and I clench my fists.

"Go away!" I scream uselessly as Robin fumbles with his utility belt. "You want him, you'll have to go through me!"

In answer, Trigon reaches out with his giant hand, as if to knock me aside. I grab a finger and hitch myself up on it until I'm close enough I can sink my teeth hard into the soft pad of the digit. It's all I can think of to do. Robin calls out my name and throws a birdarang that slices off the tip of the finger next to me, which immediately regenerates.

"I'm…not…gonna…let you…hurt him," I grunt.

** Oh, I'm not going to hurt him…  
**

Suddenly a sickening electric jolt sizzles through my entire body and I fall to the ground. A current seems to flow through me, whipping up a whirlpool in my insides. My very soul is ripped away from me, the black thing darting out and flapping away like a bird fleeing a burning tree. My eyes stretch out painfully, my skin goes taut, I scream like a wounded animal and my cloak flashes a sick rainbow of colors and the eyes finally split into four…the cloak settles on red…

** …you are.  
**

"RAVEN!" Robin screams, stumbling haphazardly toward me in painful steps, aided by his staff. "RAVEN! Are you okay?"

I turn over and look at him with my four glowing red eyes, feeling nothing but hatred for the pathetic little wounded bird quivering over me.

_"Better than ever,"_ I sneer.

**Kill him.  
**

"Oh…no…" Robin takes a step backwards as I rise. "Raven! This is not you, Raven, this is NOT YOU. Come back, come on…"

_" But it is me, Boy Wonder. This is what I've been trying to suppress, my true self. The pathetic little shell that is RAVEN is just a façade. And now I am free. I am my father's daughter." _

"You…!" Robin screams up at my father. "Give her soul back you …You-"

He stops short when I slap him in the face, barely keeping upright as he stumbles.

_" You are not to talk to my father that way. "_

Robin's face twists into a look of rage and he extracts another staff from his utility belt, and swings it towards me, hoping to knock me to the ground and talk some sense into me, no doubt. But I stop the staff in it's tracks with my telekinesis, and break it into little pieces. I then aim a kick to his broken leg, and he screams in pain and falls over, and I kneel next to him. His teeth are gritted so tightly as he rolls over with a pained gasp and aims a punch for my face. His fist glances off a shield I conjure.

_ "Trying to think of a strategy, aren't we, Robin?" _I ask him in amusement as he closes his eyes and breathes deeply. _" But there's no possible way to defeat me. I am so very powerful and…you're just a short skinny powerless little boy with some inane gadgets and useless karate and above average IQ. Nothing you can do against demon lords and monsters. Some superhero._"

"That's not gonna work, demon," Robin growls, throwing an ice disk at me. I stop it in midair and blow it up. Chips of ice rain down on us. I let out a loud laugh.

"_Hey, Robin. Wanna know a secret? Raven lied. She has seen the other Titans. She saw them all killed. By Trigon. Each and every one. All are dead." _

"LIAR!" Robin screams and he actually managed to nail me with a palm strike. My head snaps back, but I bring it back forward with a smart crack. Robin shudders and goes for kick with his good leg, but I catch his foot.

_" Oh, I think you know it's true. Starfire was smooshed. Beast Boy was disintegrated. Cyborg was crushed. And the worse part? Starfire died without you ever admitting you loved her. That's all she ever wanted, and you just couldn't do it. Looks like you failed her."_

With a piercing scream of rage, Robin tackles me. A blast of dark energy sends him into the air and he lands hard on the ground. Ignoring the undoubtedly crushing pain in his leg, he rolls to the side and somehow gets around me, slamming my back with his elbow. I spin around and slam him on his back with one hand, the other crackling with dark energy. His eyes are wide as saucers as he stares helplessly. "Not true…it's not true…" He knows though. I can tell.

_"You. Failed. Her. "_

I slam my hand into his forehead and send the image of Starfire being crushed and burned by my father through his brain. He makes an odd croaking noise.

_" Just like you failed to save your parents."_

The image of them falling from a trapeze flares like a searing flame.

_"Just like you failed Batman." _

A masked face glares at the younger Robin.

_"Just like you failed your team."_

Starfire, Cyborg and Beast Boys deaths run back to back in excruciating detail.

_" Just like you failed Raven."_

My old, weaker self getting zapped and reborn into the me that is now.

_" Just like you failed to save the world."_

I take my hand away from his forehead. He stares up at me, white as a sheet, motionless, speechless…broken. I have broken him.

_"You always fail."_ I sneer at him.

He nods mutely.

_" You want to die, right? You want to die right now. You want me to kill you so you don't have to hurt anymore. "_

He nods again, making the odd croaking sound. His face is slick with sweat and tears and blood. Pathetic.

_"Well, don't say I never did anything for you. "_

I place my hand over his heart and will it to stop beating. It begins to slow, to stall, to quiver under my power. Robin becomes lucid for a second, and begins to choke and cough, desperate for air. "Raven…" he gasps. "Raven…when Raven…gets back…tell her…it's okay. Every…things…gonna…"

He inhales with a choking gasp as I clench my hand harder over his heart.

_" Die."_

The heart stops beating, and I can feel the life leaving his body. His cold stiff hand falls on mine and his mouth drops open. Everything that was his world is dead, and now so is he. I feel satisfaction as my father grins above…then for some reason…I turn my pale hand over and hold his. It's not really cold, actually. It's still warm. A little…

"Robin…" I whisper and suddenly my soul self is diving back toward me like a bird sighting prey and with a flash of energy, it's inside me once more, I see through my own eyes again and not his and my cloak is blue. But Robin is still dead.

"Robin!" I cry hoarsely, bending over him and hopelessly trying some CPR. I can feel my father getting closer as I thrust my palms into his chest. Closer…and closer…I can't escape him…I can't…I am his…I am his…

**You are my daughter and you will do as I say. **

* * *

**  
**

I woke up screaming, a scream that seemed to echo all around the room and lash out back at me. It took me a few minutes to realize I was in Titans Tower. It took me a few minutes more to see I was not alone.

"Get…out…of…my…head!" I screamed at the four red eyes staring hauntingly at me from across the room. "Stop making me dream these things! Leave me alone!"

They just continued to stare, and I thought I heard the walls shaking with that damned laughter. It seemed to get louder and louder until it was a pounding in my head I couldn't escape from. I stumbled out of bed, my knees shaky, drenched in sweat and stumbled into the bathroom adjoining my room, switching on the cold nozzle of the shower and jumping in the freezing water, leotard and all. My teeth chattered as I stood under the icy scream, sliding down to a sitting position on the porcelain, my hair quickly becoming like a sodden mop left out in cold water, but I felt much more lucid, much more separated from the dream….dreams…

"Raven?" I heard a knock on my door

Oh for Azar's sake. Fate appeared to be torturing me again.

"Yes, Robin?"

"Um, I heard you screaming. Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Just a nightmare."

"Oh. Um…" Here it comes. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"You know me better than that," I said.

I heard him sigh outside my door. "Well, you know if you have a problem, whatever it is, we'll help you with it."

"Maybe that's the problem," I said softly as Robin's footsteps receded down the hall, as my skin numbed from the icy water and so did my brain, thank Azar, as I pulled myself together once again because that's all I can do…. "Maybe that's the problem after all."

* * *

Robin 

As I approached the gravestone with my name on it, the stone creature atop it leered at me. I looked blankly back.

"I'm here."

"Hello, Robin. I am…THE GARGOYLE!"

"No, you're not."

"Excuse me?"

"You're not a gargoyle. Gargoyles have water spouts. You're a grotesque."

"Shut your mouth, take off your cape and LAY IT IN YOUR OPEN GRAVE!"

"It's your gig, garg…uh, grotesque." I tossed my cape blithely into the open grave.

"Okay, now take off your tunic," the grotesque said.

"…"

"…"

"Are you seriously telling me to take off my clothes?"

"SHUT UP AND TAKE OFF THE DAMN TUNIC AND LAY IT IN THE GRAVE!"

"Like whatever creep." I tossed my tunic into the grave. Thank God I was wearing a nifty undershirt thing.

"None of that infernal teen slag either! Now, do the mask!"

"Uh uh," I shook my head. "You can make me take off my cape, my tunic, my scaly green underpants and my little pixie boots, but the mask stays. I have a SECRET IDENTITY!"

"You won't need a secret identity where you're going."

"…I'm going to the Caribbean?"

The grotesque-that-thought-it-was-a-gargoyle heaved a huge sigh. "Dude. It's not like it really hides your identity that well anyway."

"I SHALL NEVER TAKE IT OFF!"

"Fine! Then I shall summon your hip young FRIENDS!"

"AHHH NO!"

Wonder Girl, Aqualad, and Kid Flash all appeared in creepy phantom form before me with maniacal grins on their faces.

"Look at Robin! He's a real weak sister," jeered Wonder Girl.

"He puts the nerd in nerdy, like, totally!" Aqualad giggled.

"Yo yo, Robin-O!" KF sneered.

"AGHHHH! DON'T CALL ME ROBIN-O!" I ripped of my mask in desperation. "SECRET IDENTITY BE DAMNED I CAN'T STAND LISTENING TO WALLY TALK!"

"Cool, it worked!" the not-gargoyle said delightedly. "Now your face will decompose and you will be initiated into the DARK SIDE!"

"Aghhhnmph…" I croaked as my skin began to slide away and rot. "Ahh…this is so…uncool…how did I ever get into this mess in the first place?"

"Hey, Bat-meister, I just got a peachy keen invite to oversee the all teenage clubhouse at…some town! The adults were totally bringing them down, man!"

"Teenagers should respect their elders!" my pointy eared guardian pounded his fist into the table. "Like I did my parents! Or would've done if they hadn't, y'know, died."

"You are such a square, Batman and totally don't understand teenagers today! I'm going to take a rain check on saving the world and visit the groovy clubhouse!" I said cheerfully.

"Fine. BE THAT WAY!" Batman called angrily after me as I exited the Batcave.

When I reached the clubhouse I found my pals Wonder Girl, Kid Flash and Aqualad standing over the ruins of a destroyed clubhouse.

"Oh no! Did Wonder Girl go on a rampage again?" I cried.

"No, it appears someone had kidnapped the teenagers from the very clubhouse that we were all invited to!" Aqualad cried.

"Holy convenient kidnapping! We should form a team and solve this uncool crime!" I declared.

"Groovy!" the three of them chorused.

"I can be the brains, KF can be the speed, Wonder Girl can be the strength and Aqualad can be the useless guy who never does anything!"

"Hey!"

"Now we just need a name…" I mused.

"Ooooh! Oooh! I voted Kid Flash and The Flashettes!" Kid Flash waved his hand.

"The Sidekicks who Use Sixties Slang!" Aqualad nodded.

"Teen Titans?" Wonder Girl suggested

"I like Wonder Girl's, and since I have appointed myself leader, that shall be our name. Now let's solve the crime!" I rubbed my hands together in anticipation.

"Wait…if we're gonna be a team we need our parents…um…wait they're all dead…I mean, our guardians permission!" Aqualad pointed out,

"And a lair. No team is complete without a lair," Wonder Girl said.

"And we need to purchase a copyright and cut a record deal!" Kid Flash jumped up and down in excitement.

"Okay, okay, fine. We'll solve the crime AFTER we get all that stuff."

And so it went:

_Wonder Woman: BE CAREFUL THEY'RE BOYS AND FULL OF ANGRY TESTOSTERONE, ESPECIALLY KID FLASH, DON'T LET HIM GET WITHIN THREE FEET OF YOU! _  
_Wonder Girl: roll eyes OMG MOM, I'm just as good as any of those leotard toting losers! _

_Flash: BE CAREFUL AND DONT PANTZ ANYONE! _  
_Kid Flash: Oh, shut up. _

_Batman: Weeeellll...that's greeeeaat...um be- _  
_Robin: I SHALL ESTABLISH JUSTICE IN THE TOWN WITH THE TEEN MAYOR NAMED TEDDY! _

_Aquaman: Annnd I'm tallking...lalalala _  
_Aqualad: I have a 'fro_

Finally when our permission was established, we built a lair. I'm not exactly sure in what location, or exactly what it was shaped like, but it was definitely a lair. After the record deal, we all settled around the table.

"Okay," I said. "Now we can solve the crime-"

"GUYSGUYSGUYS!" Speedy burst into out lair.

"Hey, this was supposed to be a SECRET lair, man!" I cried in indignation as Speedy bounced around.

"What's the word, buddy-pal?" Kid Flash asked.

"ME AND GREEN ARROW JUST GOT ASKED TO DO THE OPENING TO THE OLYMPICS BECAUSE WE'RE AWESOME!"

"Hey, my ancestors invented the Olympics-"

"NOBODY CARES, WONDER GIRL! But I have a problem. Down at the creek while I was busy shooting up…I mean, uh, getting a drink of water, someone stole my arrows!"

"GASP!" Everyone gasped except for me.

"Uh, Speedy…your arrows are on your back. You used them to shoot the alarm system when you came in."

"Oh," Speedy looked at his holster. "Sorry I get really spacey when I'm high…I MEAN THIRSTY. Who wants to go watch the groovy Olympics with me?"

"WE DO!" Kid Flash, Aqualad and Wonder Girl cried and followed Speedy out the door.

"Hey, cool cats! What about the uncool crime…ah, forget it…." I followed them out.

AND FROM THEN ON THE TEEN TITANS HAD MANY ASTOUNDING ADVENTURES!

THEY BATTLED OVERBEARING FATHERS!

_Overbearing Father:…And because of my car accident I decided to live through my son and HE'LL BE AN OLYMPIC RUNNER IF IT KILLS HIM!_

_Robin: Um. Maybe the reason he ran away is because of the insane amount of pressure you put on him?_

_Overbearing father: WHAT? lunges at Robin and grabs shirt You know where he is, don't you, you elfin little monster? WHERE IS HE? I want to pressure him some more!_

_Robin: DAMMIT I GET ENOUGH OF THIS AT HOME!"_

_Son appears Dad, please don't pressure me anymore._

_Father: miraculous change of heart Oh, okay. _

…THEY JOINED THE PEACE CORPS!

_Aqualad: Leaping mantas, a giant robot in Botswana!_

_Robin: Holy convient plot device!_

_Wonder Girl: Merciful Minerva! No wonder they need a Peace Corps…_

…THEY FOUGHT THE MAD MOD!

_Wonder Girl: I am so in love with this rock star, I'm going to make out with this poster I put on the bulletin board._

_Kid Flash: You'd rather make out with a POSTER than me?_

_President of US: Guys, I think the rock star Wonder Girl is making out with is a drug smuggler. Follow him._

_Wonder Girl: Cool, I'll get to make out with the real rock star!_

_Robin: I don't like this guy…_

_Rock Star: plays a prank on Aqualad_

_Robin:…but now I do!_

_Aqualad: I have no sense of humor…_

_Kid Flash: Okay, so it's not really the rock star smuggling the clothes, this English cat named Mad Mod is using his clothes to smuggle stuff._

_Mad Mod: knocks Kid Flash out and dumps him in lake_

_Aqualad: Groovy, I'm not useless! dives in and rescues Kid Flash Now I will hang him by this hook all precariously and hope he doesn't fall off and drown! Now I'll capture-_

_Mad Mod: punches out Aqualad Bwahahahaha, my duckies!_

_Aqualad:…I really am useless._

_Teen Titans: capture Mad Mod after a lot of procrastinating_

_Rock Star: How un-round! I have no sizzlin' threads!_

_Robin: Borrow mine, cat! stands in barrel_

_Wonder Girl: Groovy, now I can drool over his legs!_

…MEET BEAST BOY!

_Beast Boy: My parents are dead and now the Doom Patrol won't accept me even though I keep proving myself by repeatedly attacking them!_

_flashback_

_BB: Ah, Rita's pretty much the only person in the Doom Patrol who's nice to me, but I need to PROVE MYSELF! I will turn into a mouse and scare her._

_Elasti-girl: AHH! A mouse, I will stomp it into a submission! Oh wait, it's green. AHH! Beast Boy! I will stomp him into submission!_

_BB: AHH HIGH HEELS! runs away_

_BB:…so can I join the Teen Titans?_

_Robin: You need parent or guardians permission._

_BB: I DON'T HAVE A PARENT OR GAURDIAN JUST A CRAZY GUY WHO WANTS MY MONEY!_

_Robin:…sorry._

_BB: FREAKIN' LIAR, I HATE YOU!_

_Kid Flash: Holy Hannah, what a problem child!_

_Robin: Why do I have the feeling I'm going to see him again?…and again?…and again?_

_BB: The circus will accept me!_

_Circus guy: The circus will hypnotize you into doing evil!_

_BB: Darn!_

_Robin: Beast Boy's on a rampage at the circus! Good thing we're all trained acrobats._

_Wonder Girl: No, that's just you…_

_Robin: Oh, right._

_Teen Titans save day_

_Wonder Girl: When you were attacking us, Beast Boy, I thought for a second, "maybe we should have let him join…" so, let's totally break the fourth wall and ask the readers if you should join._

_Readers: NO!_

_BB: NOBODY ACCEPTS ME, WHY?_

_Robin: Maybe it's because you're too depressed, man. You should be a hip swinger like me! Right, guys?_

_Titans: …_

_Robin: Maybe if you were…funny of something…_

_BB: THAT'S IT! I'm GOING TO DEVELOP A SENSE OF HUMOR IF IT KILLS ME!_

_Robin:…um, don't go overboard with that…Beast Boy…hello?_

…DEFEAT DING DONG DADDY!

_ DDD: Ding Dong Daddy is the hippest, hoppest, grooviest, way out cat in the entire area man._

_Titans: This is too much, even for us._

_Robin: KF, see if this guy is doing criminal stuff. Discreetly._

_KF: I SHALL VIBRATE MY MOLECULES THROUGH THE SOLID WALL AND HEY CRIMINALS!_

_DDD: Ding Dong Daddy heard that! Grease Monkeys, attack!_

_Robin: …and by discreetly, I mean, don't announce it out loud._

_KF: …oh…_

AND PRETEND TO BE HIPPIES!

_Wonder Girl: Hippies are groovy. Kid Flash, you should grow a beard._

_KF: …I'm only fourteen…_

_Police Officer: I hate hippies! Titans, follow them and see if they're committing any crime._

_Hippies: HIDE THE POT!_

_Titans pretend to be hippies_

_Real crime comes along_

_Robin: Guys, I totally dig your non-violent approach to stuff but…punches guy Oh, what the heck I just like hitting people!_

UNTIL FINALLY:

"All right, our record deal came through!" Kid Flash said excitedly in the bowels of Titans Lair. "I shall be lead singer and we will be hip!"

"WOULD YOU GUYS SHUT UP I'M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT MY ORIGIN!" Wonder Girl screamed from the couch.

"Y'know, I'm the totally ginchy and gear leader, I should be lead singer…" I began to note, but suddenly a giant stone creature appeared in the middle of the tower.

"ONE OF YOU BRATS WRONGLY SENT ME TO JAIL AND NOW YOU WILL PAY!"

"Whoa!" said Kid Flash. "Which of us would ever be unethical and un-gear enough to send someone to jail wrongly?"

"Uh…Robin?" Wonder Girl mused.

"Yeah, Robin," said Aqualad.

"You're probably right," agreed Kid Flash.

"Oh, great faith you have in me, guys!" I spouted off.

"Ah ha! Their minds are overtaken by suspicion! Now they are mine! Zombies, attack!" the villain cackled.

And just like that, Wonder Girl, Kid Flash and Aqualad were glowy eyed zombies prepared to attack.

"Aw, crap," I said, and I slid down the laundry chute. "Good thing my OCD means I hate dirty laundry and I installed this thing even though we don't actually live here!"

I landed on the pond the laundry chute mysteriously led to. Well, my friends were as good as dead. Hmmm…sad. Well, no use crying about it. Time to fight crime!

Eventually of course, I discovered as I punched bad guys across a giant newspaper, is it's really hard to fight villains without my slang slinging superfriends for back up. So there was only one thing to do…GIVE UP! So I went up to see the villain who had taken my friends, the grotesque-that-thought-he-was-a-gargoyle and…

Oh. That's how I got into this mess.

I opened my eyes to find Aqualad staring at me.

"Groovy! Robin-o's wised up and decided to join us!"

I sighed and kicked Aqualad in the face. "Completely useless…"

"Hey, Boy Wonder, why the halibut did you K-O Aqualad?" Kid Flash marveled.

"Because…you are UN-ROUND!" I said dramatically to my scarlet friend.

Kid Flash gasped loudly. "How dare you! I'm going to run at you aimlessly for that!"

"Ah, you may be good at running aimlessly, Kid Flash," I said as he ran toward me. "But you were never very good at anticipating a…JUDO FLIP!" I effortlessly judo flipped him away by making a vague wiggling motion with my hands.

"You may have judo-flipped Kid Flash, but you know I haven't got any weaknesses!" snarled Wonder Girl.

"I do. I don't hit girls."

"…That is the most retarded weakness ever," Wonder Girl said.

"Yeah, I know."

"Oh MY GOD! " The grotesque suddenly appeared out of nowhere. "Robin! How could you betray me!"

"…It wasn't really that hard."

"Gargoyle! I am your servant! You are my master! I am your good little girl! You are my sugardaddy!" Wonder Girl said solemnly. "I-

"JUDO FLIP!" I attacked Wonder Girl from behind. "Ha ha Miss Ponytail! Huh. Guess I do hit girls…."

"UHN!" Wonder Girl threw me over her head and I crash landed in front of the not Gargoyle. "Hello? Power of the Greek Gods? He's all yours, Gargoyle."

"Ha! Robin, I will demolish you!" The Gargoyle cackled. "There is no way you can defeat me! NO WAY!"

I heaved another great sigh and kicked him in the face.

"OW! Hey, that hurt! Wait, where are you going?"

"Through that mysterious and convenient vortex," I said, grabbing my team mates. "Let's go!"

"NOOOOO!" The Grotesque Gargoyle cried. "WHY ARE YOU SO SMARRRRRT?"

"DUNUHNUHNUHNUH BATMAN!" I cried as I leaped through the vortex and my team and I were promptly dumped into the graveyard.

"Uh, wow," said Kid Flash. "Why are we surrounded by gravestones with our names on them? I don't dig it."

"Pun!" Aqualad laughed.

"Robin! I've never seen you without your mask! What happened?" Wonder Girl asked.

"We were kidnapped by a grotesque with no discernable motivation. Now if you excuse me, I believe this is my first angsty story where I'm all alone and my friends have turned against me because I have trust issues. I'm going to go celebrate."

As I walked away, I heard Kid Flash say "He said three sentences without using any outdated slang. THAT IS SO , LIKE, WRONG, SWINGER."

* * *

My eyes snapped open and it took me a while to figure out that I was not in Titans "lair" but Titans Tower. I was in the evidence room as well, it seemed. I must have fallen asleep here again. That had to be my weirdest dream ever. My brain couldn't have possibly manufactured that. I decided that it was Beast Boy's fault, somehow, which made me feel better as I began to concoct an elaborate theory as to how…. until I remembered how scary Beast Boy had looked in my dream and the way he had turned into animal that were normal color EXCEPT THEY HAD HIS FACE ON THEM. 

Must…find…someone….else…to…blame.

I realized I had been researching parallel universes when I'd fallen asleep. Only why would I be researching that? This was too weird.

I decided this was all Batman's doing somehow. He's pretty much to blame for my anti social tendencies, so why not this too? Batman is such a square AHH NO. MUST NOT TALK LIKE THAT.

Raven…Raven…this was her fault. She can do stuff like mess with your computers and plant dreams in your head, I know she can. SHE IS JUST THAT GOOD. Well, fine, Raven, play your little games. You're going to be the death of me someday, I-

"ARRRRGGGGGHHHHH!"

Huh. That was Raven. Obviously feeling guilty about her ELABORATE PLOT-

Oh, snap out of it Robin and go see what's wrong.

* * *

Starfire 

"Blackfire?"

"Hmmm?"

"Why do people do bad things?"

"'Cuz it's fun."

"That is not a very good reason," I drew my knees to my chest as my sister drank from her wooden mug blithely. We were in a serene place by a twisted tree and a sparkling beautiful pond. I did not think we were on Earth or Tamaran. Somewhere in between…

"Since when am I supposed to justify the entire world to you? X'hal, Starfire! Look, you wanna know the truth? Nobody's moral code is as strict as they pretend it to be. It's all about beliefs. And wills. We're selfish creatures, understand? Ultimately, there's always a selfish reason behind any action."

"But-?"

"You and your Titan stuff?"

"Yes."

"You know why you joined. You joined because they were the first people to accept you. Your friends. They give you the family you want, the warmth…they're probably the only people who would put up with your naïveté…and of course you have a crush on that spiky haired little leader. You're saving people not because you wanna better humanity, but because that's what your friends do."

"That is not true!"

"Sure."

"And the others-

"I can see I have to spell it out for you. Your boyfriend, Sparrow…."

"Robin."

"Whatever. His parents, dead right?"

"I surmise as much."

"Guilt. Neurotic sense of guilt. Couldn't save them, must save world. He does this so HE can feel better. And because of his mentor. He left, right? Bet he had some rift with Batguy… now he's desperate to prove himself."

"He wants to help."

"Get real, Kory. Why else would he get so obsessed? He's always pushing, punishing himself…he has something to prove."

"Maybe. I do not believe so….but….you forget the others."

"Okay, who next? Beast Boy? His parent are dead too, right?"

"Yes."

"Same thing as Robin. Guilt. Not to mention, guess who were the first people to take him in? His old team, the Doom whatever. Then you guys. He does this because this is all he knows."

"Cyborg."

"Around all of you he feels normal. It distracts him from his "problem." Gives him a life and a family. Once again, you accepted him, no one else did."

"Raven."

"We don't know anything about her. But judging from those evil freakouts, I'd say guilt. She had a secret. She's got something to make up for. And of course, as soon as she came from Azarath, who were the first people to treat her kindly? Three guesses."

"Us. So you are saying…"

"None of you are in this for pure noble reasons. Deep down, you are selfish. Any of you could have gone either way. What would it have taken? Someone else besides Batman finding Sparrow-

"Robin."

"-Whatever, after his parents bit it? Cyborg being mocked a few too many times with nobody to help him? Raven giving in? Beast Kid-

"Boy."

"-Whatever, getting inducted into a team of supervillians? And you, if, say, Slade had helped you with the Gordanians, where would you be?"

"…"

"It's luck. An off beat, a bad timing, that's all it takes to cross the line. You're not any different. Just lucky. So…what gives you the right, sister? What gives you the right to judge us?"

"You are wrong."

I had turned away from her, now I turned back. My sister was smiling lazily, as if she was above me and my insistence she was speaking out wrongly.

"There…is always a choice. It is not just luck. It is like my beloved friend, Terra. She had all the luck that is bad. But she made the right choice in the end."

"Whatever you say," Blackfire snickered, dipping her mug into the cool, clean pond. "Hey, Koriand'r, could you look at something in the pond for me?"

"Stop calling me that," I leaned forward to peer in the pond "My name is Star-

I broke off in a gasp as I saw in my reflection in the water, instead of myself, mirrored there was Blackfire.

I did not even notice as she reached over and pushed me into the water.

* * *

My eyes fluttered open and I tried to sit up, but instead I slid out of my bed, crashing into the pink carpeted floor with all due force. 

"Gremplork!" I rolled over, rubbing my head. I had been dreaming about something. I believe to do with Blackfire. How odd. The imaged slipped away to the depth of my brain like tiny fish wriggling out of a…was it net?…And into the water. Water. At the end of the dream I believe I had looked into the water and saw Blackfire staring back at me. I went over and rooted through my drawer until I came up with a small book titled "Tamaranian Guide to Dreams" (the title being in Tamaranian of course).

I flipped through it until I found the section on siblings.

"If you dream about switching bodies with a sibling," I read carefully "That means you are not eating enough Glorg. Of course!" I snapped the book closed. "I shall prepare a glorious Glorg breakfast for all my friends in the morning! Thank you indeed, Tamaranian wisdom! Now I will be able to get some rest."

And with that, I went back to my bed, placing my feet firmly on the fluffy cushion and my head over the edge of the bed and dreamed of no more confusing things.

* * *

Cyborg 

"Dad. So tired of the science fair. Can we go now? I have football practice." I trudged beside my Dad, staring down at my sneakers. Having sneakers seemed odd to me somehow, but I could hardly be bothered to figure out why.

"Now, Victor, is that fair? I take you to the science fair and you complain that it's not fair and you aren't faring well when I paid quite a fare to get in here; now that's unfair."

"O…kay," I said.

"Hey man."

I turned around. Ron Evers, my best friend, was standing behind me, leaning against a display case and flicking his lighter on and off.

"Let's blow this joint," he said.

"But I think my dad's finally gone crazy. Can't leave him alone."

"He was always crazy though, wasn't he?"

"Yeah, I guess. Okay, let's go." I turned around and left my dad standing there mumbling about ferries.

"So, what are we doing?" I asked as we exited the building.

"The white man's bringing us down. So we're gonna bring him down."

"And how exactly?"

"Blowing up the Statue of Liberty," Ron said evenly.

"…Okay, yeah, that was a total non sequitor."

"I have no idea what that means."

"How is blowing up the Statue of Liberty going to show the white man?"

"Dude. It just WILL."

"VICTOR STONE!" My mother stomped out of her house and grabbed me by the ear. "I told you not to hang around with that boy! I should smack you!"

"See, Vic?" Ron called as Mom dragged me away. "White man bringing you down!"

"MY MOTHER IS NOT A WHITE MAN, YOU LOSER!"

"Yeah, you better believe it," Mom pushed me into the house. "Just wait till your father gets-oh, hi dear."

Dad was standing in the front hall with a remote in his hand.

"Victor, I am very disappointed in you, which is why I've wired this entire house to explode."

"Wait, what?"

My dad pushed the button on the remote and I was met with a blinding flash and a scream like a thousand worlds dying. When I awoke, I was lying in rubble, my father standing above me.

"Dad? Where's Ma?"

"You don't want to know that."

"What do you mean? And…and…wh-why can't I move?" I strained uselessly and looked around. "Oh my God! What happened to my legs?"

"Life isn't fair, is it, Victor?" said Dad calmly, dropping a science fair flier on me.

* * *

It was near dawn when I woke up. I still didn't understand how I could have dreams. You'd think being in "shut down" mode would have some benefits, like sleeping in peace. Why couldn't I escape from him, even in my sleep? It wasn't…wasn't…wasn't… 

Wasn't fair.

I got up with a grunt. Screw this. I'm going to go make waffles.

Then I smelled the Glorg.

* * *

Beast Boy 

"I love you, Angel-Pie," I sang, skipping along.

"I love you, honey bunch," Terra sang back at me as our feet pounded the pavement in synchronization, our hands entertwined. "And I won't ever ever leave you."

"Really?"

"No. I'm betraying you to Slade in ten minutes."

"Dammit, Terra, you're gonna turn me emo!"

"Walk with me, talk with me, sing Spice Girls songs with me and yes I know you like them, I know all your seeeecrreeetss…" she snag spinning me around in circles.

"Please don't tell anyone. It would ruin my macho image."

"Which wouldn't be hard, considering you don't have one."

"Have you been hanging around Raven too much or something? Cuz that was cold."

"Sand dunes!" Terra gestured in excitement towards some dunes that had just randomly appeared.

"Why are sand dunes so awesome alla the sudden?" I asked as Terra ran towards them like they were her salvation. When she reached them she turned around and smiled at me.

"Bye."

She sank into the ground, and before I could even react I was gone and in a room with a monkey.

"Hello," said the monkey. "I'm smarter than you."

"Why are you talking?" I asked.

"Why are you?"

"I'm a person. I'm supposed to talk."

"No. You are a monkey."

"Is this an evolution thing?"

"You can turn into a monkey, dingus."

"Yeah, but I can't talk when I'm a monkey."

"Yes you can."

"No…I can't."

"You can. You just don't want to."

"What? You're crazy?"

"You could talk that time when you were an amoeba, couldn't you? Amobeas can't talk, Beast Boy," the monkey said intelligently.

"Neither can monkeys," I pointed out.

"Stop missing the point."

"So you're saying, if I wanted to, I could talk in animal form, I just don't want to? That is crazy. Why would I not want to talk in animal form?"

"I'm only going to spend one second of my time thinking about that question, because your little insecure mind bores me. Okay, done. You can't talk in animal form because you are in the state of mind of the animal when you transform, and your will is not strong enough to transcend that. I assume you could talk as amoeba because it has no state of mind, much like yourself."

"Hey! How do you know all this?"

"I'm smarter than you. But then again, everyone is."

Suddenly, I was staring at Mento, dressed up as like Dr. Phil. And Slade.

"Slade?" I said. "Steve?"

"Garfield, we are here to talk about your issues with Slade," Mento said. "And transcend them."

"Dude. Wouldn't Robin be better suited for this?"

"Oh snap, you're right. Well, how about your issues with me?" Mento smiled.

"You're an obsessive martyr who pushes to hard," I said.

"Cool. Will you be my apprentice?" Slade asked.

"No, I am good, you half blind…person," Mento said stoically.

"Be my apprentice or I will kill young Garfield," Slade threatened

"Eh, go ahead," Mento shrugged.

"Wait, wh-"

BAM.

* * *

First thing I realized when I opened my eyes and jumped out of the bed in a frenzy was I was not dead. Which is good. Second thing I realized was I was on Titans Tower and not on Dr. Phil with Slade. Which was also good. Third thing I realized was I smelled something like a stink bomb would if you cooked it. Which is not good 

"Oh MAN," I opened the door and peaked out to find Cyborg standing mutely in the hall. "Don't tell me Star's cookin' Glorg."

"Yeah. I'd stay in there if I were you."

"I kind of wish I was still dreaming now," I sighed. Here goes another day.

A/N: Robin's dream is a parody of the sixties Teen Titans. Obviously. Most of the dialogue and all of the situations pulled from "Showcase: Teen Titans". Thanks to all my reviewers!


	26. Terra Firma

A/N: It's Terra time! This is me, letting everyone know that I'm going through each seasons arc and rooting out missing moments. Well, we just did Robin's, so now it's Season 2. That means that all the snapshots for every character will be focused on Terra this time around, ending with (instead of dreams) a little thing set in between Aftershock from all five titans point of view. Yay!

We start with Beast Boy. One of the things I've always found interesting about Things Change was the implication that Beast Boy had gone to visit Terra's statue and talked to her (it?) before. That's what I got from the "Sorry I haven't been here in a while..." Who's to say what a "while" is? So...

Beast Boy

Terra Firma

"I shall miss you, friend."

"We'll be searching for a way to reverse the effect."

"We'll bring her back."

" Someday."

" I'll never forget you, Terra."

* * *

"…Hi Terra. It's me, Beast Boy. I just…thought I'd visit you. It's only been a day since you turned to stone, but I really miss you. The Tower feels empty without you, you know? Everything…feels empty without you. But we'll bring you back, right? Someday…I hope…

…Well, um, I never got to tell you, good job. With Slade. I know I'm not supposed to approve of killing and all but…it's good that he'd gone. And you did it. It was all you, Terra. I think Robin's still getting used to it though. You know him. Issues.

This is stupid. You can't hear me. Or can you? Cuz Raven…she said that people in comas, sometimes when you talk to them, they hear you. So…maybe stone people can hear you too? She said that. Raven, I mean. She was trying to be nice, I think. They're all trying to be nice to me right now. I guess they think I'm upset or something.

Which I am. I miss you.

Oh, I already said that.

I try not to show it. When I'm sad. I don't know why. You asked me once, remember? When we weren't able to save that man. You said "Beast Boy, it's okay to be sad, you know that?"

And I was like "What's the point?"

And you said, "Because it's the truest thing you ever feel."

And I teased you for being corny and we went to the arcade. Maybe you were trying to tell me something there and I just didn't get it. I shoulda…I dunno…reached out.

I wish you were still here. I could talk to you about anything.

…I'm keeping your room just the way it was, okay? For when you come back. Okay?

Okay. Well, bye.

Bye, Terra."

* * *

"Hi Terra. I sneaked in here to see you. I couldn't before cuz Cyborg would always be in the kitchen and ask me where I was going. He's my best friend. I think he'd understand….but…I don't really want to talk to him about…this.

Anyway, I was able to come tonight because Cyborg's all secret agent undercover at the HIVE academy. I still don't see why II/I couldn't go. Be a fly on the wall. Or a lizard! Just cuz I'm green doesn't mean I won't blend in.

But NO. Cyborg gets to go. He gets to pretend to be human and act like a normal…

Huh. I wonder if that bothers him. If he misses---?

Oh well. I think Star talked to him before he left. She's all sensitive. And I have this nifty robot thing to play with!

Still miss you though. Especially at night, when I'm not busy kicking butt.

And sometimes in a fight I almost say stuff like "Terra, smash him with a rock!"

Then I remember, you aren't there.

That you were never really there.

I…gotta go."

* * *

"Hi Terra!

…DUDE. It has been an eventful month. First this Red X guy shows up and is all "I am so great" and captures us, but it's not Robin. I think. Unless he's perfected cloning. Which I WOULDN'T put past him! But, y'know, Robin actually seemed really ticked off about it, so I doubt it. I TRIED to talk to him but he's all "Oh look, I need to brood." Okay, maybe I wasn't that sensitive, but…

Then Raven's all "I'm going to lock myself in my room and make kissy faces at a magic talking BOOK."

I, of course, totally predicted that this magic book was bad news. I spied on them as Raven brought him to life as a MUMMY. Actually, just a guy wrapped in pages. See, I am a good spy!

Then came the bad part, where he betrayed Rae and became a huge dragon! But Raven SCHOOLED him and trapped him back in his book. Then she was all depressed, so I tried to cheer her up, but I think it worked too well, because she HUGGED me. Yeah, it was creepy.

Oh, and word of advice. NEVER play Stankball with someone with telekinesis.

But the worst part is when I turned into this huge Beast thing. See, these chemicals got dumped on me when I was kicking this Adonis guys sorry butt and it messed with my genetics and…it was awful. I thought I'd hurt Raven. Really bad. I was an ANIMAL, Terra. But Raven says I wasn't, cuz I actually saved her (from Adonis who was also a Beast) She says it proves that I'm not an animal.

But the thing is…tonight, I just kept thinking of you. When I was that Beast…sometimes I saw your face. And it made me angry and sad and just…seemed to flash on and off like it was mocking me.

And tonight, I realized that this is how you must have felt. Losing control of your powers to the point…where you were just…destruction. How lost and angry you must have felt. Feeling like everyone has turned against you, driven to betray your friends…

Not to get all deep, but I think you had a Beast Within too, Terra. I think we all do. Ya just gotta tame it.

Another thing. I didn't really pay attention at the time, but Cyborg was all like "His genetic code was always unstable…maybe it's finally falling apart."

My parents were scientists. I told you my story, remember? Even though I didn't tell any of the others. I told you all my secrets when you never told me any of yours. But never mind…it's just…the stuff they did to my genetics…it's keeping me alive. But they were messing with the laws of nature, man. What if Cyborg is right? What if something does gotta give? What if my DNA falls apart? What's going to happen to me? Will I die? Or something worse?

What if…I'm just living on borrowed time?

I shouldn't even be alive. After all. I'm unnatural.

I've seen Raven lose control. And Robin, I forgot to tell you, he went completely nuts and nearly died. He thought Slade was back, only it was really this dust that made him think he was fighting Slade and instead he beat the crap out of himself. It was creepy. But you know Robin. He beats anything. He was this close to dying though. For a few minutes after he passed out, I thought…but Raven did her healing thing and he got up a couple hours later.

Plus, I got a cold.

I never really thought Slade was back though. Even when Robin just said. I was kind of out of it, so I thought Robin wasn't getting enough sleep or something. Sometimes I can just smell it, when things aren't true or right. Subconsciously I feel it. Not enough to say anything usually…but…

It made me miss you too, Terra, thinking Slade was back. After I got over the cold. Everything makes me miss you, sometimes.

Eh, my throats getting sore. I guess I better go back to bed. I just wanted to see you again and…

'Night."

* * *

"Hey Terra! We just totally defeated Brother Blood. Okay, so it was mostly Cyborg. But I helped. Now we have, like, a whole other team across the coast.

Aqualad (who I didn't like when I first met him, but he's actually pretty cool and likes animals like I do. Well, at least fish),

Speedy (Who I thought was a Robin clone when I first met him but he's actually a lot more…what's the word…snarky than Robin. Kind of annoying. But he was trained by the Green freakin' Arrow. I met that guy once! He's awesome. When I tried to talk to Speedy about it he went on this rant about how vain he was and all the bimbos he went out with, so I scrammed),

Mas y Menos (Who are really fast, in love with Starfire and speak Spanish. They have a nice sense of humor though),

And Bumblebee (She's the leader. I think you would have liked her, Terra! She's funny sometimes. Bossy, but less annoying about it than Robin.)

Oh, and Cyborg quit, but he came back. He says it has something to do with being a man (half the things he says make no sense to me. I swear.) But I think it was really because he missed me so much. I mean, how could he not?

But everything's awesome now. Except…well, I tried to look up on the Titans computer how to get you back a couple days ago and nothin'. The others, it's like they've forgotten about you. They're not even trying to get you back. I tried to talk to Robin about it, but he was just like "Beast Boy, I know you miss her, but we're doing everything we can."

And I was like, "What? You aren't doing anything! You should be getting every magic or earthy superhero on this! I know you can do it! You know them all."

And he was like "I'm TRYING, Beast Boy."

And I was like, "You're not. You don't even care."

And he was all "She was my friend too. Believe me, I'm doing EVERYTHING."

And he slammed the door in my face.

And…I'm sorry, Terra. I don't know what to do.

I don't.

…I better go."

* * *

"OH MY GOD! TERRA! SLADE'S BACK! TERRA! CAN YOU HEAR ME…

Oh. You're still stone…but Slade's…and you…

ARRRGHHH! IT'S NOT FAIR! OWWW!

Uhhh, Terra, if you're listening, don't ever try punching a rock wall. It hurts.

Uhhhhh…I can't believe this! It's just so…he's back. I thought you blasted him into a boiling pit of lava! How could he survive that? And how'd he get those wicked fire powers? And why is he after RAVEN?

She won't tell us and Robin says we should give her privacy. Robin is OBSESSED with giving people their privacy, on like, a molecular level.

It was like her birthday but she didn't want to celebrate it. She yelled at me. It was weird. I mean, not the yelling, that's a daily occurrence, but it was like she hated her birthday so much. But after Slade attacked her, she totally celebrated it and acted all…_appreciative._ Like, what the heck.

And Slade somehow made her hair grow? How can he even DO that? Plus, he ripped up her clothes all badly. And TIME stopped. And when Robin came back with her she was all unconscious. This has to be our weirdest mission ever, and we've had some weird ones. Of course it would probably be less weird if Raven EXPLAINED what happened. But nooooo…

It's not fair. It just isn't. Slade can come back, but you can't. What the heck is up with that? It SUCKS.

Maybe Slade is a way to get you back. I doubt it. I don't know what's going on. This is so freaky.

Well, I don't think I should leave the Tower for too long. Don't worry, I'll be back.

* * *

Terra…Terra, you are NOT gonna believe this. We found out why Slade's after Raven. He's working for her _dad. Trigon._ He wants to use her as a portal…so he can cause the END OF THE WORLD! This was prophesied to happen when she was _born_! On her _birthday_! Which is why she hates birthdays. Or anything fun.

And she didn't TELL US because she thought we wouldn't Ilike/I her? She's crazy. We'd never stop being her friend because of something stupid like she's the harbinger or the apocalypse. That would be totally shallow. I mean, she's a good friend! Even if she is crazy…and moody…and annoyingly depressed…anyway, we'll so kick her dad's butt. Together. Raven kicked her dad's butt in her mind right? Kicking his butt in real life will be the same thing.

I'm sure…

She's pretty bummed though. Guess it would be pretty bad, having a dad like that and everyone being like "you're going to end the world!"

Hunh. Parents. My da- well, not my real dad, my leader, back in the Doom Patrol. Sometimes I miss him, you know? He had this way of making me feel small and stupid, but…I miss Rita especially, though. She was awesome.

I wonder if they miss me. Probably not. After all, I screwed up.

Y'know, what if I die? And never see them again? I never thought of that before. I'm mad at them but I want to see them. It doesn't make sense. I wonder how they're doing. Sometimes, I wanna talk to them. But they're busy. Probably trying to forget me.

You…you were kinda like the family I never had, Terra. I think I loved you. I know I'm s'posed to be to young for that…but I think I did. And sometimes I get mad at you for what happened. Mad at myself too. We both messed up, didn't we? The two of us are awesome at messing things up. Maybe that's why we liked each other so much.

You probably can't even hear me.

But…don't worry. If you can. We'll kick Trigon's butt and Slade's. For you. We'll all be fine.

We have to be.

So long.

* * *

"Hey, Terra! It's me, Beast Boy! Sorry I haven't been here in a while. Uh...how's it going? You're gonna think this is crazy, but...I thought I saw you today. I guess it wasn't you because you're still a statue and all…"

Thunk

"You're not still a statue! You're alive!"

"Oh man…I've gotta find you!"

* * *

"…Still not here.

I don't get it.

…I…don't…

I just don't understand. Why would you want to forget?

You've forgotten everything…

But I can't forget you….

…and now I have to…change?

Why can't things ever be simple with you?

…And here I was talking to nothing all along.

…So long, cave. You can keep the plaque. I've got to go save the world and watch TV and stuff.

Thanks…thanks…for listening."


	27. Dancing Around

A/N: People requested it...so...hope it doesn't disappoint... 

Robin

Dancing Around

"Remind me why I agreed to this," Raven said blithely, drumming her fingers against a tabletop covered in a tie dyed tablecloth.

"Because it's good for the community?" I suggested.

"I want a better reason."

"What better reason can there be than that?" I asked her honestly.

Raven eyed me with faint disbelief. "You know, for someone who can be so brooding and obsessive to the point of ridiculousness, you are unbelievably cheerful and innocent at times."

"I try," I said cheerfully and innocently "It's just chaperoning a school dance, Raven."

"Yeah, okay. Since when to superheroes and chaperoning school dances go together?"

"Who better to chaperone?" I said.

Starfire ambled up to us, looking extremely happy as usual.

"How's it going, Star?"

"Oh, I am enjoying this much more than the last "prom" I went to! Mostly because that evil gremplork Kitten is not doing the ruining of the fun! I have been doing the dancing, and quite a few boys told me that I am very good!" She clasped her hands and did a weird little twirl.

"Did they now?" I said with a slight edge to my voice.

Raven rolled her eyes at me, as if to say "get over it". She turned to Cyborg who was shoveling down food at maximum speed.

"You seem extremely happy as well," she said to him. "Are you to filled with good cheer over your selfless dedication to the community?"

"Oh yeah sure," Cyborg said after swallowing. "Plus, Sarah said she'd come by. We're gonna cut a mean rug!"

"Is the floor of the gym in need of covering?" Starfire asked in confusion.

"It means 'dance', Star," I told her. "Hey, where's Beast Boy?"

"Over there," Cyborg said. "Yo, Green Genes!"

Beast Boy, who had been by the punch bowl, sighted us and came on over. "What's up, dudes?"

"Man, you've been acting kinda nervous since we got here. What gives?" Cyborg said.

"Nothing," Beast Boy shrugged. "Kinda crowded, that's all."

Raven arched her eyebrow in suspicion at Beast Boy, but I had just spotted something.

"Hey! You two! Stop necking! Yeah, I'm talking to you! Don't look at me like that, I'm your chaperone and I'm skilled in fifty different types of martial arts!"

"Robin's going to go mad with power, I predict," Raven said lazily.

"Man, I hope a fight breaks out or something," Beast Boy stretched. "I am SO bored."

"If y'ask, someone might dance with you. Your personality and looks aside, you hang with me so that's bound to give you some status," Cyborg shrugged.

"Gee, thanks, rust bucket."

"You did fine in Tokyo, didn't you?"

"I just don't feel like dancing tonight," Beast Boy said.

"Well, I most certainly do!" Starfire said. "Robin, shall we do the cutting of the rug?"

"Okay," I said nervously. "Oh wait, someone's kissing way back into the gym. I have to do my duty as a chaperone and stop them from this public display of affection. I'll be right back, Starfire."

"Very well," she said cheerfully. We were at the point in our "relationship" where she no longer worried that I was snubbing her all the time. Which I wasn't…technically, I should be good at dancing, but it made me nervous sometimes. But Starfire was good at it no matter what, so that usually made up for it. But first, I had to stop the breaking of dance rules.

"Mad with power," Raven said again as I left.

I had to force my way through several people to get to the offending couple.

"Hey!" I called. "That's against dance protocol, people!"

The girl and boy sprang apart immediately, glaring at me. That's when I spotted her…and she spotted me.

Height around 5'1 to 5'2. Weight around 95 pounds. Blue eyes. Blonde hair. Small ski jump nose as identifying facial feature. Shoe size 7. My mind still reeled out the statistics as I stared, and I was unmistakably sure this girl was Terra unless she was a clone or subject to brilliant plastic surgery.

I remembered that day, when Beast Boy was so sure he saw her. He had run off, the come back to fight that…creature. I had tried to question him about why he left afterwards and he had sort of mumbled she wanted to be left alone. I had visited the cave that night and found the statue missing as Beast Boy had said. I asked Beast Boy again about Terra and he'd refused to give her location. I had filed the case away, deciding to let it drop until Beast Boy was more talkative, knowing instinctively not to press him too much. After the whole Brotherhood of Evil thing, I'd gained a newfound respect for him and figured I owed him that much.

But now here was Terra, alive and well and right in front of my face. I stared at her stupidly and she inevitably noticed me. She gave a start and spun around making for the gym door as quickly as she could. My brain finally started working again and I sprung from the floor, flipping over the several people in my way and landed on my feet in front of the Terra look-a-like. She took a huge step backwards in surprise and I saw her muscles twitch slightly as if she wanted to go into a martial arts block or something. She was wearing jeans and a baggy T-shirt and her hair was pulled back in a barrette, not her old butterfly clip-on, but a plain black one.

I had no idea what to say so I settled on "Terra!"

She groaned. "Oh God, not again."

Definitely Terra's voice. "You are the real Terra, aren't you? How did you free yourself?"

"I'm not Terra, okay? And I'm really tired of you and your friends bothering me. I thought you'd agreed to leave me alone," she made for the door but I placed my hand on her shoulder.

" Wait. I just want to help you. You look exactly like a friend of mine who's been missing. You could be suffering from memory loss!"

"I'm not!" she jerked away. "Look, just leave me alone. First Beast Boy goes after me, then Raven…am I supposed to go through all five of you because you clearly don't talk to each other about anything?"

"Wait, you talked to Raven?" I shook my head. "Never mind. If three people in a row think you're someone they knew, don't you think you should check it out?"

"I know lots of people who look like someone somebody knows, and THEY'RE not accused of being a superhero!"

"If I could just test your DNA…" I pleaded.

"I'm not letting you touch me!" She said, taking another step back. "How do you have this Terra girl's DNA to compare anyway?"

"I have everyone's DNA. You never know when you need people's DNA," I informed her.

"Okay, you have a problem."

"Excuse me," I heard someone say behind me. "Excuse me…OW! Excuse me…"

I turned slightly, still keeping Terra in my line of sight, and saw Starfire pushing past people towards me, carrying two cups of punch.

"Robin, where have you been all this time? If you did not want to do the dancing, you should have simply said. I bought this "punch" on which to drink…" she stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Terra. Her face aghast, she dropped her punch to the floor.

"X'hal…" she breathed. "….TERRA!"

With absolutely no warning at all she catapulted toward the girl and scooped her up in a patented Starfire hug. Terra struggled mightily, but Starfire was so overcome with joy she failed to notice. "Oh, oh my friend, it has been such a long time! It is such a shock to see you and I am so full of the happiness! This is simply glorious! When Beast Boy said…I was not sure…but you…it is…OH!"

"Starfire," I urged. "Starfire, let her go."

"Oh, am I hurting?" Starfire let go of Terra quickly and the girl fell against the wall, looking angry.

"No, Star, it's just…she doesn't remember us."

"She…she does not?" Starfire wrinkled her brow in confusion. "Friend, do you not remember me?"

"NO!" Terra said a little loudly, dusting herself off. "No, I don't remember any of you. Get that through your heads!"

"I do not understand," Starfire turned to me. "Should she see the doctor?"

"I don't know…wait a minute…Terra, is Slade making you do this? That's it, right? He's controlling you! Terra, whatever it is, we can help, I swear," I grabbed her shoulders.

Suddenly, the crowd parted and Cyborg, Beast Boy and Raven came through.

"Is there like, a fight going on here or something? Because it went real quiet over here- aw, no. I knew this would happen," Beast Boy stopped talking suddenly as he laid eyes on Terra.

"Whoa…" Cyborg gaped. "Whoa…whoa…what's going on here?"

"Nothing new," Raven said cuttingly, crossing her arms.

"She says she's not Terra. She might be suffering from amnesia. Do you remember hitting your head?" I asked her.

"Wha-? Girl, how can you say you're not Terra! You're clearly Terra!" Cyborg cried.

"If I could just have some DNA…a strand of hair…"

"Here, Robin," Starfire plucked a blonde hair off Terra's shoulder.

"Hey! Give me that!"

"Thanks, Starfire. Now I can test this…"

"Don't even bother, Robin. It won't make any difference. She'll still deny it."

"Nobody can deny DNA, Raven. It's scientific!"

"Guys…"

"I'm scanning her…she's 100 percent human. I can't tell if she matches Terra, I don't have any old scans…no visible head injuries, though the damage could be more internal."

"Do not worry, Terra, we shall find out what is the matter!"

"Does she have a metagene, Cyborg?"

"I can't tell, and how do we know Terra had a metagene anyway? This is so weird, man…"

_"Guys."_

"If you are truly Terra, perhaps you can rejoin the team! Wonderment!"

"Raven, you never told me you met Terra recently."

"Yeah so?"

"GUYS! SHUT UP!" Beast Boy suddenly bellowed.

We all went quiet and turned to face him.

"Y-you're making her cry," Beast Boy muttered.

Terra was biting her lip as her eyes welled up. She stepped toward Beast Boy who was staring at his shoes melancholically.

"Listen, BB," she said, and his eyes flicked upward. "I've been thinking about your…your friend."

Raven rolled her eyes behind Terra, but didn't say anything.

"Yeah?" Beast Boy said.

"Well, maybe the reason she's…disappeared… is that…she didn't want to cause any more trouble. Her powers…were unstable right? Maybe she doesn't want to use them anymore. Has figured out a way…not to. She's…she's just seen too much…she can't go back. She could still have nightmares. She wants to start over…" Terra reached out and sort of held Beast Boy's hand. "It couldn't have been because of you. It's nothing to do with that. You're so sweet. If she saw you…she'd probably want so badly to come back…but know that wasn't the right thing to do. So, thinking it was the right thing, she'd push you away as far as she could. She'd nearly MADE herself forget. But then it all…comes back."

She played with Beast Boy's fingers, not looking him in the eye. "Not everyone's as strong as you…any of you…"

She looked over at Raven as she said this. Raven glared for a second but then her expression softened. "People are strong in different ways," she said.

Terra nodded and let go of Beast Boy's hand. I tried to think of something to say, but I couldn't.

"You never told me your name," Beast Boy finally said.

"Markie," Terra said.

"That's weird."

"Yeah," she looked away from him again. "I'm moving away. Soon."

"Oh," Beast Boy said. "Well. I hope it helps."

"I'll probably come back someday," she told him. "I mean…if…"

"Things change," Beast Boy finished for her.

"That's it. Well…" She turned to me and took the strand of her hair from me with a subtle quickness. "It doesn't need saving," she told me.

I shrugged at her and she smiled faintly, and turned to go. As she went past Beast Boy, she stopped, leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. And then she was gone.

We stood there for a second, Beast Boy's face totally blank.

"Oh…kay…" Cyborg said.

"That was…that was…" Starfire looked confused. "She is doing the…moving on?"

"Yeah, I think so," I said. "I don't get it. How could she just walk away like that? I mean, being a superhero…helping people…it's the most important thing you could ever do…"

"Not everybody's like you, okay, Robin?" Beast Boy said harshly. "You need to get that."

Once again, I didn't know what to say. Three times in one night. A new record.

"Oop!" Cyborg said suddenly. "There's Sarah! I have to get my tango on!" He put his hand on Beast Boy's shoulder. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Beast Boy nodded.

Cyborg shifted aside the crowd of people, who were back to their chattering now that the confrontation was over and ran up to the grinning blond.

Beast Boy leaned against the wall thoughtfully…as thoughtful as Beast Boy could ever get anyway. Actually, he looked shell shocked. I got an idea.

"Starfire, dance with Beast Boy," I whispered.

"What? Oh, of course!" she said. "Friend Beast Boy, let us engage in the tango!"

"Wha?" Beast Boy said as Starfire grabbed him and dragged him out to a dance floor. Soon they were tangoing to their hearts desire, though Beast Boy seemed to prefer break dancing as a koala bear.

"That was nice and thoughtful of you," said Raven, sidling up next to me.

"You say that like it's a rare occurrence," I said.

"No comment."

We stood there for a while staring into space. Finally I said, "You know, Starfire got a book on human psychology."

"Uh huh."

"She's concerned about you."

"Uh huh."

"I tried to convince her there was nothing wrong with you. But she said that if you don't dance tonight, she'll be forced to believe you're anti social and will subject you to therapy."

"…I don't believe it."

"Believe it. I'm next. She made a list of all the problems I have. It's pretty long."

"…Let's dance."

We moved in for a fast song and danced through it. Raven was unsurprisingly a very unenthusiastic dancer. Starfire twirled near us with Beast Boy, giggling happily and around the middle of the song we switched, Raven looking extremely miffed at this point.

The song ended and Raven said, "Well, that's over."

"Nice dancing, Raven. Oh, and by the way, I lied. Starfire didn't get a book on human psychology at all."

"A what?" Starfire asked.

Raven turned on the slowly as Beast Boy collapsed into a raucous fit of giggles with exclamations of "dude!" interspersed. She simply looked at me for a couple of seconds until without warning her eyes flashed bright white. I ran away as fast as I could, ducking under a table and laughing hysterically, as she leaped after me, snarling with rage.

As I slid among the row of tables out the window, I saw Terra. She was watching us and laughing faintly and when I caught her eye, she turned around and disappeared into the darkness.

That's when a gallon of punch was telekinetically dumped on my head.


	28. Terrible

Raven

Terrible

The day I really thought about Terra and Beast Boy's relationship was the day those people died.

My feelings on Terra up to that point had been mostly that I trusted her now and she was less annoying than Beast Boy. My feelings on Beast Boy's "crush" on Terra was that it made him happy, which made him infinitely more annoying, but also he was usually too busy mooning after Terra to annoy me, so it all worked out.

Then it happened.

It hadn't been our fault, they said. We had gotten half the people out before the bomb went off, they said. There was nothing we could do, they said.

Robin took it the worst, as usual. He'd been trying to defuse it and probably would have blown up with the rest of the building had Starfire not zoomed in to rescue him. He even sustained some second degree burns for his trouble. He had been absolutely inconsolable. He'd screamed at Starfire for rescuing him instead of one or two other people, not listening to her pleading about how she'd known where he was and that was the only way she was able to get him out in time. She had started crying, and he'd run off, pushing a reporter aside, refusing to let me heal him. He holed up in the Evidence room for a week after, before he finally came out and told Starfire he was sorry.

I'd been thinking about how, if I'd unleashed my full power, I could have saved them. Of course, I could have also accidentally leveled the entire city. But if I could have saved them without losing control too badly...I should have tried...

Cyborg, Terra and I handled it the best and I realized it chalked down to experience. Cyborg had grown up with gangs and a rough neighborhood and had seen stuff like this before. I was forced to be prepared for anything emotionally and had spent my entire life dealing with the fact I was going to cause the death of millions. Meanwhile Starfire's naivety meant she was crying for hours, and though I suspected Robin had seen stuff like this before, his psyche was just set up so that each time he felt every single innocent citizen he hadn't saved's pain times a thousand and dumped all the blame on himself. It killed him, every time. Beast Boy just automatically went into a state of shock and stared at the burning building silently. And Terra...she took it as well as I did, saddened, but still functional. That's when I realized there was more to her than met the eye.

It was after Robin had ran off that we were left behind with the building, Cyborg comforting a sobbing Starfire and me standing there uncomfortably, that Terra sat down next to Beast Boy and put her arm around him.

"You okay?"

Beast Boy gave her a shaky smile. "Yeah. No use moping."

"Beast Boy," she sighed. "It's okay to be sad."

In a typically Beast Boy fashion he looked away from her and asked "What's the point?'

"Because it's the truest thing you ever feel."

Beast Boy stared at her for a few seconds and then erupted in laughter. "Dude, Terra, that was like, so corny!"

"Heh...yeah, I guess," Terra looked away from him with a grimace and her eyes caught mine. And I realized something about Terra and Beast Boy. They didn't understand each other in a lot of ways. But they acted like they did. Because the most important thing they understood was that the other was only an actor and that they had to keep pretending or they'd lose something. Maybe even themselves.

And for some reason, knowing this...it scared me.

* * *

One night, I was up pretty late, drinking my tea. I didn't want to go to sleep, actually. I didn't want to have another sadistic Trigon-induced dream about how he's going to slice my friends into sushi or whatever. Sometimes I can tell when they're coming, and when I can, I fend them off as long as possible.

Around three in the morning, Terra shuffled in and opened the freezer. I stiffened, hoping she'd leave, but she pulled out a huge carton of ice cream and a spoon and shuffled over to the table I was sitting. When she realized I was there, she screamed.

"Geez! Raven! You scared me!"

"That's my gimmick."

"What are you doing up so late?"

"What about you?"

"Couldn't sleep."

"Neither could I."

"Ah," Terra dug her spoon into the Rocky Road. "Want some?"

"No thanks," I said. "I have tea."

"Of course."

We sat in silence for several minutes with Terra shoveling ice cream into her mouth with such tenacity I was suprised she wasn't going into a brainfreeze seizure. The girl ate as much as Cyborg. Most likely trying to make up for the lost time when she didn't have enough food. It would take forever for her to get some meat on her bones.

"I was talking to Beast Boy today."

"I feel for you."

"Rayyyy-ven. He told me about his parents."

This stopped me. "He did? He's never mentioned them to us."

"Really? Have you ever asked him?" Terra raised a brow.

"No."

"Well, there you go. Do you wanna know what he said?"

"He might not want me to know. He probably only told you because he thinks you're the perfect woman."

"He does not!"

"Are you blind? Hearts flutter over his head whenever you get near him," I rolled my eyes.

"I don't understand why he likes me so much," Terra said with a hint of sadness.

"You tolerate him."

"Raven, c'mon, tell me. I know you know. Why does he like me?"

"I was being serious. One of the big reasons he likes you is beause you listen to him. You laugh at his idiotic jokes. You take time to understand him, most of the time. He's never had that before and he needs it. I can't provide it for him, even as his friend, I'm just not built to relate to him on that level. Also, I think he enjoys your sense of humor and the fact that you enjoy wrestling and rough and tumble things like he does, the fact you're his age and not pretentious at all, can be extremely silly yet you know a lot of things he doesn't and that you crush giant scorpions with huge rocks (the second you did that his eyes just lit up). There, are you happy?"

Terra stared at me. "You are so smart."

"I just observe a lot."

"You act so cut off from everyone but you know exactly what makes people tick"

"I have no idea what makes people tick."

"No, I'm serious. What you just did? Robin, Starfire or Beast Boy could never do that."

"Robin could."

"No, Robin doesn't understand people. People scare him. All he understands is facts, mysteries and crimefighting," Terra said.

"See? You're being observant too. Though you forgot that Robin knows how to cook too," I told her."

"...He has oven mitts with "R"s mongrammed on them. I don't care how good his eggs and bacon are, that's just wrong."

"His pen and water bottles and laptop and backpack and notepad are mongrammed too. I think he has a franchise going."

That would explain a lot."

",,,"

"..."

"I think we were talking about something else origionally?"

"Beast Boy's parents."

"Oh right. Well, am I the only one who thinks it's weird you guys know absolutely nothing about each other? Starfire was sold into slavery by the Gordanians and crashlanded here and that's all I know about her. I don't know anything about her parents or why she was a slave. Cyborg had an accident involving his father and that's it. Robin left Batman for reasons undetermined and his parents are likely dead. And you...come from Azarath...and that all. I don't even know half your freaking names!" Terra raised her eyes heavenward.

"Raven."

"That's your really real name? Do you have a last name?"

"Not really."

"Liar."

"Well, you haven't told me your real name."

"It's Tara. As in T-A-R-A."

"Do you have a last name?'

"Uh...not really?"

"Liar. See, I know nothing about you either."

"Fine. I'll tell something about my parents and you tell something about yours."

"Okay."

"My parents died when I was six. In an...accident."

"What kind of accident?" I asked.

She looked away from me. "Earthquake."

"Ah."

"What about you?"

I hesitated. "My mother had an accident too."

"Really?"

"Yeah," I said, sipping a little tea. "Me."

We didn't say anything for a long time after that.

* * *

The day before she "left" us, she came to talk to me.

"Azarath. Metrion. Zinthos."

_There is a quiet. Long, uninterrupted except by the sound of the pumping of blood. She can hear every one on this planet. Lives. Lives she will take? No, do not interrupt the quiet. She feels death too. But mostly the images that slide around her...the bright lights. _

"Azarath."

_One is a formless orange light, so blinding it hurts. It moves to it's own rhythm, a cheerful nusery rhyme. So much intensity focused into one glimmer. She dances, this glimmer. She is everything the gem is not, this glimmer. Everything the gem desperately wants to be. Next is the cool pulsing blue light. It is carefully controlled, steady. At the core of it though, it is almost a loud magenta that bangs around, the center of the light and the threat to it's control. For some reasong, pulsing blue seems to complement the glimmering orange. Very odd, since those colors usually clash. _

"Metrion."

_One light is a strong consistent yellow. It seems less unstable than the others, yet it somehow seems incomplete. The yellow is bright and happy, yet at the same time almost solid and dependable. Below it is the neon green which is annoyingly erratic. It blinks on and off with no particular pattern and seems to almost be vying for attention. Yet you can't help but be fond of it. It tries so hard. _

"Zinthos."

_At the center is the gem, watching them all. Her light is a black edged with glowing white, a light deathly afraid of going out. It shakes in a steady sort of way. It makes no sense. It's like it's barely hanging on..._

_A shadow interrupts, full of doubt. _

"Raven?"

"What."

"I...uh..."

"Terra, I'm trying to meditate."

"Can I... meditate with you?"

"Huh." Terra had never asked that before. "Okay. Pull up some rug."

"Thanks." She sat down beside me uncertainly. "Uh, should I say that...thing?"

"My mantra?"

"Yeah. Why do you say it?"

"A mantra is something that has meaning to you. Something that gives you peace. My mantra doesn't really mean anything to you, so you could make a new one, but us saying two things at once would throw off concentration."

"Oh. What does "Azarath Metrion Zinthos" mean then?"

"Azarath, I call on your power. It's an ancient language developed in Azarath, where I come from. We don't use it except in spells."

"That's neat. So..." she looked down at her skinny legs. "What has meaning to me?"

I felt annoyed now. "How am I supposed to know?"

Terra looked at me sadly. I sighed.

"Okay. Well, in mantras you can call upon a higher power to aid you. Do you believe in a higher power?"

"Not really. Do you?"

"Where I come from, the wise woman who led us, Azar, was looked upon as a goddess. She was a very powerful and kind woman, and a good friend of mine. Though she has passed on, we believe she still exists somewhere and grants us wisdom and power. That's why I call on her. Other than that, I cannot say. I don't presume to know what the personification of good is. I have seen the personification of evil, but never it's opposite number."

"Who did you see that was the personification of evil?" Terra asked.

I'm abysmally stupid sometimes.

"Nobody you know."

"So none of the villians we've met...you don't believe any of them are complete evil?"

"No."

"What about Slade?" Terra avoided making eye contact with me.

"Slade is a horrible person who kidnapped my friend, abused him, blackmailed him and traumatized him."

"Wow, you really want to paste him for that, dontcha?"

"My point is, despite that, Slade is human, and however feeble his motivations to what he does, there are motivations and there is a reason, no matter how convoluted. He is not the personification of evil, but I don't think that makes his actions forgivable."

"Raven?" Terra looked at me imploringly.

"What."

"Do you believe that...even if somebody's done something really horrible...if they really mean it...there's a possibility for...forgiveness...and redemption?" A strand of hair escaped from behind her ear as she said this.

I stared at her for a while. She didn't seem to be attacking me, I ascertained, staring at my reflection in her blue eyes. Finally, I spoke.

"I don't know." I spun a little alway from her while floating. "I hope so."

Seconds ticked by as we both seemed to reflect silently.

"So, are we going to meditate or what?" I finally said.

"You know what?" Terra got up suddenly. "I'm gonna take a pass. I've got...something to do. Sorry I bothered you."

"Whatever."

I watched her leave the room, not knowing how to feel.

I closed my eyes again.

_And the shadow keeps darkening..._


	29. Terrified

Starfire

Terrified

"Nggghh…" I struggled most roughly against the robot that now had me pinned to the ground. It was made…how would one put it? It was made out of the "tough stuff." I had a feeling it was designed specifically for myself and my level of strength.

The saw of chains it wielded inched closer to my neck. It nicked my flesh as I struggled. I had to concentrate. I am a warrior. I must remember my training. I jammed the blade of my arm into the crook of the robot's mechanical one, my other hand grabbing the wrist and forcing it over. On something living, the pain of this maneuver would render them unconconscious. But the robot's arm merely broke off as the scrap metal in my hand. It regrew a new one automatically.

_I am a warrior…_

Nobody was in my sights to be of help. They and their opponents had moved to separate parts of the tower. They too must surely be struggling. Slade must have designed a select few robots specifically for them as well, hidden among the horde of two hundred that had invaded our home. But I could be of no help. I had problems of my own.

The robot advanced towards me once more. I aimed several starbolts at it. The effects were inconsequential. I readied myself, clenching my fists. This would end now, either way.

"_ Azarath Metrion ZINTHOS" _A black shape rose from the floor enveloping my attacker until he shook apart at his very core.

"Raven!"

"We've almost finished all of them," Raven said in a tired voice. She had cuts and burn marks on her face and I watched in marvel as they seemed to disappear into her flesh as she healed herself without thought. "Just a few….AGGGH!"

A robot came out of nowhere, grabbing my friend around the midsection and nearly crushing her. She struggled, but she was unable to concentrate what with the pain she was feeling. I aimed a starbolt at the predator, but something grabbed my arm and missed my aim. I smashed an elbow at the robot now capturing me, but it seemed to have me in his thrall.

Suddenly the doors flew open and in charged a furious green blur. Barely could I see it had taken the shape of a…dinosaur, I believe…than had it ripped the head off of the robot holding Raven and similarly incapacitated the one bothering me.

Beast Boy took form before us.

He did not look well. He looked sad and ill as a matter of fact, but I was very glad to see him. I had been worried about his absence.

"FRIEND!" I scooped him up into a crushing hug. To my surprise, he hugged me back almost a fiercely. Usually when I did the hugging, he would squirm and act embarrassed, unless he had received a new game of the video in which case he would be hugging everyone.

"DUDE! I am so glad you guys are alive! I thought…I thought…" he broke away from me. "Where are Robin and Cy?"

"I do not know. Where is Terra?"

"I…"

"I think we've got nearly all of them!" Robin and Cyborg burst into the room. "There might me one or two…Beast Boy!"

"Look out!" I cried, as a robot charged in my two friends wake. I aimed a starbolt with such righteous fury that this time, it destroyed the monster on impact.

"Good job, Star! I think that was the last one!" Robin said.

"Beast Boy," Raven said to out newly arrived friend, who after a brief show of joy at Robin and Cyborg's appearance, had saddened and slumped to the floor. "Where's Terra?"

"She…left…" Beast Boy muttered.

"She was the one, wasn't she," Raven said flatly. "She let them in."

Beast Boy nodded mutely. Robin, Cyborg and I stood in shock. Terra? No. It could not be.

"Where were you?" Robin asked sharply, as Raven turned away angrily. "What happened?"

"We were…out…" Beast Boy said. "And…I didn't have my communicator. And just when we were about to…Slade…appeared out of nowhere…"

"Slade?" I knelt down beside him. "Did you do the fighting? Are you injured?"

"No," Beast Boy said. "I mean, yeah, we did the…I mean, we fought, but I'm fine. Terra, she…she stopped him from hurting me…I mean…why did she…? If she…?" He trailed off.

"Did she say why?" Robin said, anger rising in his voice. "Did she give any reason at all?"

"We…were in the house of mirrors…and she said…she said that he helped her…control her powers…that she owed him…that she was sorry. But I…was so mad. I thought you were all dead. Slade said you would be. I told her she didn't have any friends. And she left…with him."

"And you just let her leave?" Raven exclaimed.

"Yeah," Beast Boy said dejectedly, offering no explanation.

"Man," Cyborg said. "Man! Terra! Why? We coulda helped her."

Beast Boy shrugged. "Yeah. Well…I'm…I'm gonna go…t-to my room okay? I'll help you guys clean up later. Glad you're all alive and stuff."

He left.

* * *

BAM!

"Uhhh…you win," Cyborg said.

"I am sorry!" I gasped, putting my hands to my head. "I am so very clumsy! It is just on Tamaran, things are much less fragile…"

"S'okay," Cyborg assured me, picking up the broken basketball hoop and the deflated ball. "I have trouble controlling my strength sometimes too. But you seem kinda down, Star."

"I am concerned for Beast Boy. He seemed very upset…that night and it was a day before he came out of his room. And now all he does is stare vacantly at our abnormally large television!"

"That's not really different from usual. Y'could talk to him about it though," Cyborg shrugged, looking toward the door of traps that led back into our abode from the tower roof.

"Robin dislikes it when I "talk about things" with him."

"BB's not Robin. He might wanna talk, he might not…you never know with him."

"But the situation is just so difficult…Terra's betrayal! I am sad about it too! I feel I failed as her friend or she would not have done this!" I sighed.

"Star, if there's one thing I've learned, it's sometimes things just happen and there's nothin' we can do about it. I liked her too, but Terra was just one of those things! And maybe there's still hope for her, I dunno…but I do know BB better than the rest of you and he fell for her hard. He's gonna be a little bummed for a while, it's only natural. It's like Robin said, he just needs time."

"Robin says that about everything," I pointed out.

"Cuz it's true. Time heals all wounds. Okay, not really," Cyborg sighed, looking down at himself. "But they fade a little at least. That's all you can ask for."

"I just do not understand why Terra would do this to Beast Boy…and to us. I just do not…"

I trailed off as Cyborg merely shrugged. I wished he could provide me with an answer, but he seemed to be pondering something now. Eventually I went back in the tower and wanting to cheer myself up, I decided to go make a mustard smoothie.

I was surprised to find Beast Boy in the kitchen, emptying out the contents of the refrigerator.

"Hey, Star," he called over his shoulder. "I'm making the world's largest sandwich. Call the Guinness Book of World Records!"

"I do not speak "book"," I commented curiously. "Beast Boy, are you-?"

"Ah, cheese!"

"Beast Boy…"

"I know, I know, I keep TRYING to go vegan, but it's hard. I like cheese too much. Plus, we are out of tofu. I think Cy hid it again. And we keep ordering pizza, and you guys whine when I get a separate one specially made…"

"Beast Boy, I want to talk."

"When I told Cyborg about vegans, he couldn't believe it. He's so ignorant. Oooh, I've gotten up to a foot. Wanna try for two? I once ate a three foot sandwich. No lie. Well, I kinda had to turn into a tiger to eat it, but still…"

"BEAST BOY!"

"Dude, what's your damage?" Beast Boy finally turned around. His hair was extremely messy and he looked like he had not slept last night, but otherwise seemed normal.

"Do you wish to talk?"

Beast Boy looked confused. "I was talking."

"I meant about Ter-

"I should eat my sandwich now," Beast Boy said suddenly. "One foot is enough. Raven's in the living room, wanna harass her?"

"But…"

I ran after him as he moved at amazing speed to the living room.

Raven was levitating in her usual place. She opened an eye at Beast Boy's approach and said "I'm not cleaning that up," in the general direction of the sandwich.

"You should have some. You never eat anything," Beast Boy informed her.

"Shut up."

"BEAST BOY! TERRA!" I screamed finally.

"It wasn't my fault, okay!" Beast Boy shouted at me, nearly dropping his meal.

"I-

"It wasn't! Raven, tell Starfire to leave me alone!"

"Starfire, leave Beast Boy alone," Raven droned.

"But he is suppressing his feelings!"

"Oh, yeah, well…you're one to talk. At least I never didn't that I was scared cuz I was getting claws and stuff and then ran off into deep space without saying goodbye!"

A silence fell over the room. Raven and I stared at Beast Boy in utter shock. He turned around huffily and then stared into the hall for a second.

"Why is Ter…the third room on the left's door open?"

"I'm getting ready to clear Terra's stuff out. I had to meditate first so the psychic energy they give off does not disturb me," Raven said simply.

"You…you…can't move her stuff! What if she comes back?"

Raven narrowed her eyes. "She's not coming back, Beast Boy."

"She could…"

"She's with Slade."

"Shut up! Just…you have to leave everything the way it was. This is all just cuz you didn't like her! But she's coming back!" Beast Boy gesticulated wildly as he said this.

Raven abruptly dropped down from her meditative posistion, her cloak falling around her. She walked a few steps closer to people.

"She's. With. Slade. She. Is. Evil. If she wasn't, she would have never done that. She cannot be redeemed. Get over it."

"Oh, yeah, cuz it's not like you've ever done anything evil," Beast Boy said forcefully. "I mean, besides almost killing Dr. Light and going all red eyed! Should we kick you off the team now!?"

Raven slapped Beast Boy with a force that echoed across the living room. They stood there, seething for a second, their conflicting personalities and feelings of betrayal and shame regarding Terra never more apparent. Then Beast Boy lunged at Raven, but I was already with them, forcing them apart by picking them both up bodily, Raven by the back of her cloak and Beast Boy by the collar of his shirt.

"Stop this now!" My eyes flashed green. "You are both friends and friends must not fight this way. On Tamaran, you would either have to apologize or decide your fight is to the death! Which shall it be?"

I wished I had not asked this question as both of them glowered at each other. Suddenly Raven had slipped out of my grip, I was not entirely sure how she applied her powers to do so, but she said to Beast Boy, "Keep the room and sleep in it for all I care," and then disappeared with a flash of black magic.

Beast Boy was still in my grip and glaring at the wall now. I set him down and he said "I'm eating my sandwich. Next time you see Cyborg, tell him to give me my tofu back or I'll kick his butt."

He picked the sandwich up from where he had dropped it as they would not hesitate to do so on my planet and marched out of the room.

Robin passed him on his way out, looking curiously at the mess of leftover sandwich filling on the floor.

"What happened?"

"Beast Boy and Raven had a disagreement…about Terra."

"Oh," Robin's face was impassive as usual.

"Nobody wants to talk. I suppose you certainly do not?"

"I don't care," Robin said to my surprise. He leaned over the Titans computer and began typing at great speed. Red dots appeared over numerous locations on the map on the screen and he furrowed his brow. "You're upset?"

"Yes, of course. I wish I could have stopped what occurred."

"I'm the leader. I should have stopped it."

Robin has this odd way of speaking that made everything he said sound like an irrefutable fact. It irritated me greatly at times, perhaps because it was so…without emotion.

"That is not true."

"I failed as a detective and a commander when I didn't foresee what was coming. I aggravated the situation in the first place, when I commented Terra could control her powers. The first time she came to visit us, remember? It was my comment that sent her to Slade. Worse, I implicated Beast Boy as the offender in the process. He probably resents me for that." He narrowed his eyes as more red dots appeared over the screen. "Great. I might as well face it, they could be anywhere."

"Robin, you are doing the yelling at Robin AGAIN. It gets most tiring," I reprimanded him.

"I'm facing facts. I didn't live up to my responsibilities. How stupid were we, to not question how she gained control of her powers in such a short time? I should have listened to Raven. I was blinded by my belief of the innate goodness in people. You'd think after all I've seen, I would have dropped that by now…"

"But…I LIKE that you believe in the goodness that is…innate…in…things!" I said in frusturation. "I do as well!"

Robin smiled vaguely at me. "That you do."

"Cyborg says sometimes these things just happen and there is nothing we can do."

"Cyborg has always been a lot smarter than I am," Robin said flatly. "I'm going back to the evidence room. We need a plan for when Slade and Terra attack, and there might still be things overlooked."

"Don't worry about it," he called back as he headed down the hall. "Go play basketball or something."

"But…I broke the basket of…balls…" I replied sadly to Robin's retreating back. He was already out of shot of the ear.

I turned back to the computer Robin had left on. It was a mass of red light now. All the places Terra could be…it seemed to be laughing at me. I closed my eyes against the bright red, but it continued to blaze on inside my eyelids anyway.


	30. Rock 'em, Sock 'em, Robots

Cyborg

Rock 'em, Sock 'em, Robots…

"Onnnn patrooollll….we are ooooonnn patrolllll…"

"Terra, stop singing."

"What, you call me rock star and now I can't sing?" Terra leaned back in the T Car's passenger seat.

""Rock Star" and "Rock 'n Roller" are incredibly clever puns that I made up. They're not supposed to be taken literally. Plus, I'd never heard you sing before."

"You wound me, Cy," Terra leaned back father, propping her feet on the dashboard.

"Hey, it's not like I can sing either. And get your clunky hiking boots off my baby's dashboard."

Terra put her feet back on the floor with a giggle. "I wanna hear you sing!"

"Love to, but Beast Boy had Robin make it a law that I'm not allowed to open my mouth for singing purposes within city lines."

"Get out!"

"Well, he threatened to."

"C'mon, sing!"

"O-onnnnnn patrollll…"

"AGH MAKE IT STOP!" Terra clamped her hands over her ears.

"You asked!"

"You are not allowed to make fun of my singing. If it was any worse than yours, it would shatter this cars windshield."

"Snotty little blonde pixie…"

"So, can we turn on the radio then?"

"No. We're on pa…uh, looking for crime. Radios are distracting."

"But nothing's happening!"

"Something's always happening," I said solemnly, concentrating on the road.

"You've been looking for a excuse to use that line forever, haven't you?" Terra laughed.

"Yeah."

Terra snorted and went quiet for a moment. "You're really easy to talk to, you know that?"

"Thanks."

"Do people tell you that a lot?"

"Back in high school, everyone always came to me with their problems. I wanted them to leave me alone a lot of the time. Truth be told, I was more messed up than any of them put together. But that's over with now. I like helping people any way I can. But I gotta wonder what about be is so warm and fuzzy."

"You don't judge people. You listen," Terra said bluntly. "And you try to understand. Nobody else I know does that."

"Starfire…"

Terra shook her head. "It's not the same with her."

"Huh. Well, is there anything you want to talk to me about?"

"No," Terra said quietly. "I was just commenting."

We hit a red light and I gently put on the brakes and turned to her. "Look, rock star, I know you were homeless and that's tough. I've been in that situation a few times myself. But you've got a home now, and a family, so if you ever need anything…"

"Family?" Terra looked confused.

"Yeah, we're one huge dysfunctional family. We keep secrets from each other, we fight all the time over chores and once you're one of us, you'll always be one of us. Take it or leave it, kid."

The light turned green and I hit the accelerator. Terra crossed her stick like arms and stared out her window. Suddenly her already oversized blue eyes widened and she screamed "CY, LOOK OUT!"

I saw it a second before she did and swerved in time to avoid Dr. Light's…light ray thing-a –ma-jig…

"Is that the loser guy who's scared of Raven?" Terra asked, snapping her goggles on as I slammed on the brakes, barely keeping the car from toppling over.

"He's the most prominent one, yeah. Almost roasted my car! I'm going to kick his-

"HA! I HAVE DESTROYED AT LEAST TWO OF THE TITANS! ALL WITH A LITTLE LIGHT EXERCISE!" The villain screamed as annoyed drivers honked their horns around him.

"But then again, will I be able to bring myself to touch him?" I mused.

"Don't exert yourself," Terra advised and with a wave of her hand coupled with a pulse of golden energy, she ripped out the pavement Dr. Light was standing on and sent him flying into the stone wall of the city's bank where he slid to the ground.

"Good work! Feel I shoulda avenged my car personally though…" I said wistfully as the police ganged around the unconscious supervillian.

"I'll let you have him next time," Terra assured me. "NOW can we listen to the radio?"

"Terra, have we not just learned that patrol is nothing to take lightly?" I chastised her, starting the car back up.

"Somebody please kill me now…"

* * *

"Oh God…that's so…" Terra rubbed her eyes, barely containing her sobs.

"I have to admit I didn't expect someone like you to be moved so deeply by _The Lion King_," I told Terra incredulously.

"I…ha-haven't seen many…movies…god, when Mufassa died…and the ending…"

"Ah, BB's seen this twenty times and he cries every time," I comforted her.

"Except this time he fell asleep the minute it started," Terra took a deep breath to calm herself and stroked Beast Boy's hair, his head rested on her lap.

"Yeah, guess that fight with Slade's…uh…robot thing…"

"Mechanical Spider," Terra said dully.

"Right, that…took a lot out of him. Man, did he take the brunt of it. Never seen him so on the ball. Think he's trying to impress you, Terra."

She flushed, but continued running her fingers through Beast Boy's hair.

"Slade's weirding me out with his randomness lately though. I mean, that mechanical spider thing was advanced. I couldn't hack into it, or make head or tails of it, that's how advanced it was! But the point? To disrupt the city's power center? Yeah, like that's how Slade thinks. It feels like last time we fought him…before he blackmailed Robin. It feels like he's testing us. But why?"

"Mmm hmmm…" Terra nodded. "It's a mystery."

"It's weirding Robin out. But there's no way Slade would try to make Robin his apprentice again…I mean, that would just be stupid!"

"Yeah…with Robin…"

"Villians," I snorted, crossing my arms. "I just don't get them and their…their…plots. Doesn't make any damn sense to me."

There was a brief silence and then, as if changing the subject, Terra muttered "He's cute when he's asleep, isn't he?"

"Huh? Oh," I realized she was referring to Beast Boy, who she was now looking at fondly. "Uh…I guess?"

"Hee, he's like a little sleepy elf. Don't see why anyone would ever want to…hurt…him…" she trailed off, looking troubled.

I considered her and I'll always remember the vague feeling I had at the time, like there was something here I wasn't getting, something we were on the edge of. I always wondered if, instead of changing the subject, if I'd asked the right question or said the right thing, I could have saved her. She was staring most specifically in one direction, the far corner of the room, as if scared. But when I looked, nothing was there. She saw me looking and automatically looked back down at Beast Boy with a grimace.

Robin ghosted into the room, apparently to get something to aid in his Slade hunt from a drawer in the kitchen. He didn't appear to notice we were there even as he slipped back in the hall.

"For someone with such a colorful outfit, he sure is broody," Terra noted.

I shrugged. "Hey, Robin's gotta brood, you gotta rock, I gotta work on my car, Beast Boy's gotta tell lame jokes, Raven's gotta meditate and Starfire's gotta cook inedible food. We're the Titans."

"That could be a great battle cry if we could figure out a way to shorten it."

"Heh…" More silence. I tried to fill it.

"…I cried when I first saw The Lion King. When I was five," I said after a while.

"Really?" Terra smiled brilliantly.

"Really."

"Definitely some sad parts," Terra said solemnly.

"Happy ending, though."

"Everyone wants a happy ending," Terra acknowledged.

"Yep."

"But is it really worth it, if you have to go through all that to get there?"

"Uh, what's that supposed to mean?" I asked.

"I DIDN'T DO IT!" Beast Boy sprang to life suddenly, causing Terra to nearly topple over. "IT WAS ALL CLIFF'S IDEA, I SWEAR!"

"Beast Boy! Dream!" Terra said.

"Huh? Oh…" Beast Boy gazed around. "Oh, right."

"Who's Cliff?" I asked curiously.

"Nobody. When are we gonna watch The Lion King?"

"We already did."

"Aw, man!"

"I guess we should all just go to our rooms," Terra said softly.

"Okay."

It was only when I reached my room that I realized she'd never actually answered my question.


	31. Shock

A/N: Thank you everyone for your kind reviews! I've been wanting to do this one for a while. The missing moments of Aftershock told from each Titans point of veiw! Much gratuitous plot hole filling inside! I know there are all kinds of tense issues with some lines, but I wanted to get this out tonight and I'm tired, so maybe I'll edit later. For now, enjoy! 

Shock

(Raven)

I couldn't breathe. Rage burned like a fire in my insides, not at all diminished by this fact. Like I was keeping myself alive by pure spite.

Only was it my rage?

Mud burned my eyes and coated the inside of my mouth as the strong arms dragged me down. But it didn't matter. All that mattered was that I had lost control. She had MADE me lose control. I could still feel him inside me and I could only resist him so long.

It was such a great plan. Great plan. Make Raven lose control. I could have incinerated Terra in a second unleashed. But instead she'd gained the upper hand. Because she knew me. She knew I would fight it, fight the inevitable, and fight against my evil side. I'd be so busy fighting, so filled with RAGE, I wouldn't kill her immediately, nor would I be able to concentrate. She captured me and by the time "Good Raven" won the fight against herself, she would discover she'd lost the fight against her lesser enemy and subsequently, her life. Clever. She knew me so well.

She. Had. No. Idea. No idea what she had unleashed. No idea what I could have done, that I could have destroyed the whole damn world, WHO I WAS. And more importantly, she had no idea what she had just broken inside me. She had crossed the line that could never be uncrossed, sent me one step closer to damnation. My hatred for her, for myself for losing control, for TRUSTING her, when every instinct I'd had had told me she was a liar and what she had thrown back in my face…it burned so potent, and I scared myself with my anger. I couldn't tell if it was really mine.

I had given her the best thing I possessed. My trust. Not something I gave away lightly. I didn't trust people. Because I didn't trust myself. Growing up in isolation, away from other people, knowing you are the worst kind of demon ever…it's hard to explain. When I trusted someone, I was giving away a sacred part of myself. I was risking myself in growing attached. I was risking the wrath of my emotions, of my father. In a way, I was trusting them with my secret evil side, that they could handle it. And she had exploited it.

It was broken. Curse my stupidity and gullibility. She'd found that secret, secret part of me that hurt more than anything to be touched and RIPPED IT OPEN.

And because of that, the daughter of Trigon, harbinger of the apocalypse, was going to drown in a giant mud puddle. Glamorous way to go out.

I struggled fruitlessly against the earthen hands dragging me down. I was suffocating to death, so my concentration was shot. I couldn't even begin to use my powers.

My head was aching and burning. I closed my eyes. At least this way, I wouldn't end the world.

**You really think I will let you die? Didn't that time with the knife in Azarath teach you "self sacrifice" was not an option?**

Oh, shut up.

**You will get out of this or I will make you get out of it…unpleasantly. You will not be defeated by this…human child.  
**

Shutupshutupshutup…damn Terra for bringing him back to me. Damn her. Well, I had to die soon.

** Don't you want to see her flesh boil? She would be dead already if it weren't for your useless resistance. Rip her apart for her betrayal. Let your hatred out.  
**

There's only one person I hate more than her…each thought echoed through my head like the beat of a drum and the world spun and burned in a muddy eclipse…and that…is…YOU.

**No, you hate her more. I know my daughter and you, despite your weakness, are very intelligent. You see that I cannot help what I am. I am the evil expunged from Azarath incarnate. But she…the human…she had a choice. Not like me. Not like you. She had no destiny…she had no more difficulty with her powers than you do. She just gave in. She gave in and she used you and hurt your pathetic little friends and threw away the most powerful girl on the planet…my seed…like you were nothing. I have always made my intentions clear. I have never lied to you. You will be my portal and you will die to do it and I will make you do it. But she…she was deception. She lied. Just like you do every day to the world that does not know your heritage.  
**

No…

**She can't control her powers, just like you. She has evil inside her, just like you. She was conflicted, just like you…  
**

No…I am nothing like her…nothing…

**And she betrayed your little Titans and laid your world to waste…showing her true colors…just like you will.  
**

"NO!" And I screamed this, half dead and choked by mud. I wanted to rip my father apart, rip Terra apart and I would do anything to do this…anything…

I don't know what happened next if I teleported or pushed the mud away or ripped my surroundings apart like I wanted to do to the two demons who had used me. All I know is fire burning black and scarlet in my insides burst out of my mouth as I screamed and screamed and the burning doubled and everything twisted and I once again couldn't separate my rage from his…

I was rushing towards the ground, towards dirt as hard as stone and I crash-landed, rolling in the dust and coughing like crazy. Hacking rasps wracked my body so I could hardly breathe and when they finally stopped, I threw up all over the place, vomited until there was nothing left. As my entire body shook uncontrollably, Trigon retreated to the back of my brain once more, his mission over. His precious gem was still intact.

The world began to dissolve and I could tell I was passing out. I didn't know if my friends were alive or dead. If any of them were…gone… there would be hell to pay for Terra. Literally. She deserved me and I didn't care how it would go down or how morally reprehensible it was, I would end her.

And if they were all somehow, miraculously, alive…she would get a glimpse…and that would be all it would take.

"Treated…us…like dirt…" I croaked. "She has no…idea…but she will. She will."

And I passed out.

* * *

(Starfire)

Half of being a warrior is the focus. When I truly see a crisis, I can make sure no other thing matters but my mission. It is all part of being a Tamaranian. Everything slows down.

Like how Robin's words seemed to suddenly slow and blend together when I saw the projectile about to crush him. He was too busy gesticulating to see it, but I did, as I must. And his words were suddenly unimportant. All that mattered was getting him out of harm's way.

I only had time to save one of us. I knew this as I leaped forward and shoved him out of the way. I new this as I felt the rock plow into me with the force of a thousand gloorgs. I knew this as I fell into open air, only slightly awake, unable to summon any joy, unbridled or not. I knew this as I heard Robin scream my name in that extremely strained and voluminous way he tends to do so. But it still hurt to leave him alone.

I was not awake when I hit the water, but I came…around, I believe…shortly afterwards. I am Tamaranian after all. It takes more than that to kill me.

I realized, though, that I was drowning. I thrashed to the surface, managing to inhale some of the air and then down again…my whole body ached…I had to fight to keep coming around.

I seemed to have drifted in a small distance away. I could hear Robin calling and making sounds of the splashing, but I could find my voice to call out to him. It was taking all my energy simply to keep from drowning. I drifted even farther away and try to rapidly regain consciousness, but it does not work very well.

Eventually I see a cave not a long distance away and use all my effort to swim to the warm dry shore inside it. It is damp and musty in here, but full of air. I collapse on the ground, coughing and shaking a bit.

I felt so cold.

Terra…it had to be her who tried to eliminate Robin. My insides filled with sadness. I could have died. I would have died, if it were not for my training.

I…I had loved her. I had loved her like…a sister.

Blackfire flashed through my mind as I squeezed my eyes shut. Another sister who had betrayed me.

_You always were easy to fool.  
_

I was. I was so easily the fool. I did not like to think the worst of people. I used my compassion…my pity…my…weakness.

It seemed like that to everyone, did it not? That I was weak? They used it so well… Blackfire…Terra… I had loved them so much…but they had not loved me. At all.

My eyes were damp now too. I waited for rage to spring out of the emptiness, as it had done when I had been enslaved. But all I felt was the shame. The shame of my weakness. A small hiccup escaped me.

I wanted to crawl further into the cave, away from everybody. It was silly. Robin would be worried. Of course, I did not feel strong enough to fly yet. I felt…weak. Something drew me into the cave, as if I wanted to hide.

So shameful.

I crawled deeper and deeper into the darkness. The rage had to come soon, give me my adrenaline and my priorities. I would show Terra I was no fool, yes? But it is hard to make such assumptions when I found myself agreeing with her assessment.

The power to keep crawling, as the tunnel sloped downward, was so compelling, almost…magical…and all smelled of dirt, which reminded me so strongly of Terra and her smug smile so like my sisters.

Terra and Blackfire…one and the same.

Down…down…down…

How could they? What made them do such things? I had never wronged them, not once, how could they wrong me so? I did not understand.

Perhaps I had wronged them. I perhaps drove Blackfire away; with the jealousy I felt when she was so much better than me? Perhaps if I had paid more attention to her feelings? And Terra…if I had made her confide in me…if I had not hugged her quite so hard…

But I could not believe it. I had many faults, but there was no excuse for what they had done. This realization should have bought rage but it did not. The words were so true and yet so hollow. Nothing mattered.

The tunnel stopped and I reached a clearing of hard packed dirt surrounded by a sea of mud. It was very dark and I could not light a starbolt, devoid of righteous fury as I was, so it was a while before I saw the outline of a prone form.

It was Raven. She was muddy and unconscious, hurt. It was her power that had drawn me here.

I heard a scream…. was it Cyborg's? And I felt the anger blooming in my chest, like the seed had always been planted there. She could hurt me all she liked, for I was used to it, but she was hurting my friends. For that I would consent to rage.

My eyes suddenly burned like hot coals and the blazing green light of my power burst to furious flame in my hands, illuminating everything around me at last.

* * *

(Cyborg)

I had never wished I could fly more than I did now. I weighed around three hundred fifty pounds with all this heavy metal, so flight had always been pretty much impossible, though I'd tried to design some stuff. Always wanted to lift my self off the ground…so many cool things about that…

Especially the not dying part.

I had caught one last glimpse of Beast Boy while I fell; he'd been rapidly shifting forms while clutching on a ledge below Terra's feet, unable to concentrate enough to hold anything long. Maybe, with a little luck, he'd at least be able to get out of this…

This was gonna be a long fall. My eyes were already watering from the speed I was falling at. I tried to reach out my arms and my legs so I could stop myself from falling by bracing them on the two earthen walls, but they couldn't reach enough. There had to be something I could do…didn't I have a grappling hook in here somewhere? Needed something sharper than my hand to dig into the wall. Of course, I was falling so fast now, who knows if something wouldn't break or snap off…

I heard a sickening crunch and looked up to see that the "walls" above me had closed back together…Terra's doing, surely…Oh my God, Beast Boy. I didn't even hear a scream. Did he just die without being able to say anything, while staring at Terra's empty, pitiless eyes, thinking it couldn't be true? I'd never seen anyone fall for somebody so hard as he did for her…and now I was the one falling.

Had to hit bottom soon…at this point I didn't care…just hoped I passed out before it happened so there'd be no pain…

There was a great rushing sound and something clamped me hard around my shoulders and I stopped so suddenly that if I hadn't been a robot I would've surely broken somethin' or gotten killed.

"BEAST BOY?" I gasped in shock as the giant green pterodactyl swooped down, down, down…until we finally reached the bottom and he deposited me on the ground.

"Y-you're alive…how did you…?" I gaped as he returned to normal form.

"Are you okay?" he asked vaguely, not really looking at me.

"Yeah…how'd you…the walls closed in…?"

"Moth," Beast Boy said.

I pondered this super expansive answer "You…you okay?"

"Yeah."

"God, I hope the others are okay. Robin's communicator is still online…he's mobile. What do you think we should do?"

Beast Boy looked dully at the tunnel we were in. "Walk."

I hoped this monosyllable thing wasn't a permanent speech habit since it was bound to get annoying every quickly. I needed to give him time to adjust, I guess. He had just almost been killed by the love of his very-short-but-eventful life. Couldn't quite grasp it myself…how could someone be so cold?

I realized Beast Boy had already started walking. I hurried after him. Weird, it was like something was drawing me in almost…something almost magical…

* * *

(Beast Boy)

The last thing I saw were her eyes. Which were all yellow and glowy, of course. As the darkness closed in and I called out a vague plea, they still seemed to be burning there, even when I closed my eyes.

I probably should turn into some sort of insect before I got crushed to death. Terra seemed to not have extended her effort across the whole chasm, only the top part. Pretty smart, I guess. No need to extend her powers any more than she needed to, Cyborg was gonna be dead as soon as he eventually hit the ground anyway.

Oh, right. Crap.

I quickly turned into a little green moth as the rock began to bump up against me and flew down far enough to the part of the hole that wasn't closing up. There was Cyborg, falling really fast. Pterodactyl time. I grabbed Cyborg around the shoulders with my claws, stopping him abruptly. He's been falling so fast; it hurt my mighty prehistoric feet a little to catch him.

"BEAST BOY?" he cried, looking up in shock. Clearly he'd thought I was dead. I soared down listlessly and deposited him at the bottom of the chasm.

"Y-you're alive…how did you…?" he said.

I turned into me again. It felt bad. I liked myself much better at a pterodactyl. As a human I felt stupid and hurt and…angry…but mostly stupid. Stupid, stupid, Beast Boy.

"Are you okay?" Of course he was. I'd rescued him. The question didn't matter. Nothing mattered. It was weird. It was like for the first time…I was seeing myself like everyone else saw me. Cyborg's real voice seemed muted as I saw what he…and the other Titans…saw.

"This…annoying, desperate-for attention, bad-joke-telling little dude who got into everyone's business even when it hurt the other person…this pathetic, love sick…KID who was to blind to see the object of his affection was a traitor…who went to a stupid carnival while she set off robots that nearly killed them all…who let her get AWAY even after knowing her betrayal…who even then refused to believe she was bad and…and practically told Robin "Hey, remember that time you got kidnapped and forced to be an apprentice? This is exactly the same kind of thing so if you don't help her you suck!" and now, who knew how many of my friends had been hurt…or worse… because I insisted we give her a chance?

"…Yeah…how'd you…the walls closed in…?"

"Moth."

"…You okay?"

"Yeah."

No, never okay. Never again. I felt…ANGRY.

At her…at myself…but at myself mostly because some part of me realized…I still…loved her. Even now. That's why it hurt so much.

I used to think everything that happened to me, I deserved.

Maybe I was right.

"God, I hope the others are okay. Robin's communicator is still online…he's mobile. What do you think we should do?"

"Walk."

Cyborg gave me a weird look. Well, geez, what else were we supposed to do?

I began to walk.

After my parents had died I done the whole "RAH-ANGRY-AT-MYSELF-AND-THE-WORLD!" It was pretty exhausting. I don't know how Robin and Raven keep it up without getting tired. Eventually (a little bit after I joined the Doom Patrol) I had to let what happened to them go, for my own sanity. I still figured I could…should…have saved them. But I couldn't turn time backwards. I had to move on.

And with Steve…well. He didn't exactly make it easy. I remember after a fight I super-failed at (seriously, I was seven. What seven year old wouldn't freeze up and start screaming at the top of their lungs if some stretchy lady with an indescribable foreign accent said she "vill take you apart bone by bone vile you scream for relief from the pain and mercy dat vill never come") he told me I couldn't do anything right and screwed up everything I touched. Being seven, I naturally ran away in tears. Man, had Rita screamed at him. Thought she was going to deck him. She stood up for me when I was younger, but once I reached ten, kinda stopped. Guess she thought I'd have to handle myself.

Rita was the closest thing I ever had to someone who really "got" me. Who didn't think I was stupid, or judge me and…it was just like we were on the same page. She was a second Mom.

But that time…just before I quit…she hadn't said anything. She'd just stood there. And I'd realized I couldn't take Steve anymore and she wasn't going to do anything about it…and realized I'd failed her, that that must be why she wasn't sticking up for me anymore. That I was dragging the team down, that I was a burden. And just like that, I lost my family all over again. Because I screwed up.

The Titans are a good family, but there was nobody who I could relate to…to be that special person who "gets you"…Cyborg's my best friend and he's great but it's…just different. He gets annoyed with me like everyone else and he…everyone on the team…I could tell on some level they think I'm a screw up. Which I am, I mean, I do screw up a lot. But it would be nice to have someone who…didn't focus on that.

Then Terra came. And she was it. She was that person. I mean, she LAUGHED at my jokes. She seemed to think I was competent. She didn't judge me. She was just…so cool too. I mean, she was laid back and outdoorsy and knew how to take care of herself but she still depended on me…it was like we filled a hole in each other's hearts. I was so happy whenever she was around. For the first time in forever, I felt accepted…and content.

But then…it was all an act. All of it. She…betrayed me and…worse, hurt the only family I had left. Showed me how blind I had been. It was like reality kicking me in the face and going "Ha ha, loser, look, you can't ever have somebody who "gets" you cuz your such a screw up."

And, like I said, I put the only people who still put up with me, Cyborg, Robin, Raven and Starfire, in danger and acted like a jerk because I wanted so badly to believe that on some level…she really did like me…that she still "got" me.

Well, she got me, all right.

And now, I had to catch her. At any cost. To show…to show I could make up for my mistakes. That I wasn't a total screw up. So she couldn't get the only people I had left.

But mostly because it hurt and…I still loved her…

And that had to stop.

She never "got" me.

And I don't get her anymore either.

* * *

(Cyborg)

The pack of tunnels is like a labyrinth with all its twists and turns. I think the tunnels were there because Jump City had needed underground tunnels during…some war…I guess. My head hurt when I tried to remember.

I'd expect us to get lost in so many tunnels, but it seemed relatively easy to decide which way to go, once again, like something was pulling us. I had no idea where we were heading. My trackers seemed to be on the fritz.

Beast Boy had been silent for two hours. Record that as a sentence I never thought I'd think. God, I hoped this whole thing wasn't going to turn him dark and brooding. He and Starfire were the things that kept this team from going into an endless spiral of despair.

And what if we were the only ones left? I'd lost Robin's communications signal a few minutes ago. It didn't appear to be totally off line just…damaged.

I didn't want to entertain it. It was a nightmarish thought. But. What would I do if the rest were gone?

Beast Boy wouldn't be able to handle it. I think I might, even though the very thought made me sick to my stomach, but I was absolutely positively sure BB would fall apart. He just wasn't built to handle that kind of stuff …or more accurately, any MORE of that kind of stuff. Not something as huge as losing three of our best friends. I remembered that not long ago Star had been thrown into a alternate future where we were all losers after the team fell apart except for Robin who had turned into a mini-Batman with long hair and a cooler name.

I couldn't let it be like that.

If…IF…the rest of them hadn't managed to escape, there was no way we'd be able to take on Slade and Terra. Guess we'd have to get the hell out of Dodge and call the Justice League or something. I would make Batman feel as guilty as possible out of spite. Maybe I would hit him, if he let me. I would lock Beast Boy in a closet or something and force him to go to therapy if he needed it. Maybe I'd even call the Doom Patrol and tell them to get their butts up here and see what they did to that perfectly nice kid they apparently had decided they wouldn't look for after he ran away (far as I could tell). I'd get an apartment and a job…doing…something…

AGH, why am I thinking about this? It's making me physically ill. I was even shaking, which really shouldn't be possible. I looked over at Beast Boy. He was still staring off into space and hadn't noticed anything.

No, they had to be okay. They had to be. I couldn't lose it…couldn't lose them. Swear to God, Terra would have hell to pay for what she was putting my friends through. One way or the other….

Suddenly I saw something…a glowing green light in the distance. No way…! My heart leaped up in my chest.

"Beast Boy!"

"Hmmm…?"

"I think I see starbolts!"

Beast Boy's head jerked up as I began to run toward the green light. Sure enough, when I entered a mud packed clearing I laid eyes on Starfire…a very damp Starfire with seaweed tangled in her hair…next to her was a groggy Raven, refusing to let Star support her and covered with mud. Think I smelled barf.

"Cyborg! Beast Boy!" Starfire gasped spinning around. "You are undamaged!"

"Knew you were alive," Raven muttered with something like relief, as she began to use her telekinesis to burn the mud off her skin.

Star rushed forward and hugged us both, nearly breaking Beast Boy in half.

"You do not require medical attention?" she asked in concern.

"No way. Are you and Raven okay?" I said.

"I am physically unharmed," Starfire said, shaking her wet hair out and finally brushing the seaweed from it. "Raven has been through a terrible ordeal, however. She has been ill."

"I'm fine," Raven growled.

There was a silence as we all stared at each other in relief. Something was missing though, in the dark cave illuminated only by the light in Star's hand…or more accurately somebody.

"Where's Robin?" Beast Boy asked faintly.

Starfire's large green eyes seemed to mist over. "I-I do not know."

I checked my systems. His communicator was offline.

* * *

(Robin)

I should be dead. It's impossible, no, improbable, that I'm not. It was a gigantic fluke, the product of a split-second decision that I'm not.

Story of my life.

I kept my eyes closed. Everything hurt, even my ankle from when I'd kicked into ground to propel myself backward. The rock was crushing my chest, making it nearly impossible to breath, which was probably good, since I was pretending to be dead.

I could here the Terra's footsteps as she walked around me. No part of me moved. I stayed perfectly, perfectly still, ignoring the pressing need to gasp and cry out. She'd check my pulse. She'd check my pulse and it would all be over. Bruce had once taught me how to slip into such deep meditation your pulse wouldn't be detected. I hadn't really got it, not that he'd expected me too. Bet Raven could do it. I had to try, though. I slowed everything down…

I heard a sound of armor crunching as Terra knelt down to pick something up. Out of the corner of my eye (I'd just realized the mask made eye closing pretty unnecessary) I saw that she'd palmed my insignia-roulette-thing (not a very professional name, but I really never did figure out what to call it). Then she began to walk away.

I couldn't believe it. She was walking away without checking my pulse. Slade would never have done that. He would have crushed my skull to powder to make sure I was really, really dead. First rule of being a smart villain: "Always make sure the hero is dead." Clearly I was the superior apprentice.

I did NOT just think that, did I?

Ow, hurts. So. Much. But I had to wait until Terra was really gone for good. I could hear her footsteps receding, but I'd have to stay here, perfectly still, for fifteen minutes, to make sure she didn't decide to come back. There was no way I could win against her, especially not in this state, with my chest half crushed to death, and a possible sprained ankle. Preferable to having my skull smashed in, though.

Thank you, Bruce, for body armor. Science fiction-y, super strong body armor…it was my savior. That and my quick reflexes that allowed the rock to miss my head. Also, of course, Terra's carelessness…could my other friends have had this fantastic luck?

I'd searched for Starfire for an hour in the water before I realized that she was probably going after Raven, Beast Boy and Cyborg (I can be such an idiot) and went off to rescue them far too late. After all, I hadn't found a body, so either Star had somehow escaped or…or there was nothing I could do for her anymore. My chest ached for a reason completely unrelated to the rock currently pinning it down. Please, please let her be okay.

Criminal. CRIMINAL. I had failed to defeat Terra this time, but I'd be ready next time. The gloves were off. Beast Boy's "second chances" were over, no matter my belief in redemption, no matter that my hands weren't exactly clean as far as Slade was concerned either…I would take her down.

Fifteen minutes of excruciating pain later, my beating heat betraying my still body all along, I finally decided Terra wasn't coming and with a great effort, pushed the rock off me.

I coughed and gasped, writhing in pain for a few seconds. My shirt was torn open at the bottom and my chest was bloody and bruised. My arm had a gash in it too; I pulled out some bandages from my utility belt and bound it. As I struggled up, I was able to determine my assessment of the damage to my angle has also been right, it was sprained. I got out my staff so I could balance myself.

I pulled out my Titans Communicator. It fell apart in my hands. I'd have to go to Titans Tower to see if I could track the others. I stumbled toward my ruined motorcycle and was about to attempt to get on it when I remembered I had two extra communicators that were offline. I pulled them out and with fumbling fingers and sent a tracking signal out. I got a ping back from Cyborg. He was…underground? Buried. No, no, don't jump to conclusions. He has to be alive. He just does.

I had to get to the place where Cyborg was. The spot seemed to be under the area I'd sent Raven to get Overload. Maybe she was there too? Had to get into town.

I decided to skip the cycle; I was near enough to the place if I cut across a couple of streets. I hobbled as fast as I could to the factory, which was surrounded now by some policemen and women…

"Robin?" one of them said as I tried to get by.

"You need to evacuate everyone in the city," I babbled, shoving a communicator into his hand. "Give the mayor this. Tell her I said there was a very dangerous person on the loose and lives are at stake!"

"Son, you're seriously injured…you need to get to a hospital…"

"GO! NOW, I'M NOT KIDDING!" I screamed. They stared at me in shock. "I LIVED WITH BATMAN ONCE!"

They got going. Why does that one always work?

When I got into the factory, I saw a very large hole in the mud coated ground as well as a few discarded arm-shaped lumps of dirt. I took a deep breath, and with the help of my grappling hook, silently scaled down the thing.

It was a short, dark fall before I reached the bottom. And when I did, I heard something wonderful. I heard their voices. Against all odds, they had survived, just like I had.

As I touched the ground and stumbled slowly forward, the controlled rage that tainted their words seemed to infect me too. Each step I took, it was more and more like I'd had the beginning of the conversation they were having in my head, but they hadn't been around to help me finish it.

"No more chances," Cyborg said forcefully

" No more trust," said Star with an unfamiliar venom

"And no more mercy," Each word that fell out of Raven's mouth seemed to carry a sharp edge.

"She's just another criminal," Beast Boy echoed softly.

"And we're going to stop her," I broke in, like it was natural. The four of them spun toward me in surprise. "No matter what it takes."

* * *

(Beast Boy)

I didn't want to be here. I wanted to be fighting. Standing still, doing nothing…it made me want to scream.

Robin had told us we needed three hours. Raven had healed him up almost as good as new (despite the usual protests) and now he was in his room, changing clothes and restocking his utility belt. Raven was recuperating in her room from the energy she'd lost while using her healing power, probably meditating too. Cyborg was juicing up himself with extra power. Starfire was inconspicuously evacuating the citizens who hadn't managed to get out of Jump City yet.

And me? I had nothing to do.

I was supposed to be monitoring the cameras Robin had around the city, to see what was going down, but all but two were offline now. It made me sick to see the emptiness in the city…the destruction.

Turned on the TV. Local news channels were offline…but less local…

"And Jump City, California, usually under the protection of the teenage superhero group "The Teen Titans" has been evacuated under a state of emergency declared by the group's leader, Robin (ex-sidekick of Gotham City's Batman). Apparently the threat is an unstable geomancer who may or may not be a defected member of the Titans, sources say. The other member's of the team's whereabouts are unknown, many worried evacuees seem to be under the impression they might have been killed, but nothing is known. This news station wishes good luck to the Teen Titans, wherever they may be. Some have said it was irresponsible for Jump City to put their safety in the hands of these exceptional, yet still inexperienced minors… and whatever casualties the team has suffered will be blood on the council's hands, however…"

I couldn't watch anymore. I turned the TV off. Shaking a little I paced around the living room until I thought to check my watch. Just a half hour more…and for better or worse it would be over... I let out a sigh. Maybe I should check up on Cyborg…do something…

It was a mistake, I realized, stopping dead when I reached the middle of the hall. I'd forgotten I'd have to pass Terra's room.

I stared at her door. It looked so cold and unfeeling…just like her eyes had been. The anger seemed to grab hold of my heart and choke it. I closed my eyes. All I could see was her laughing face. It was burned into my brain.

I don't know how long I stood there before I remembered when I'd told Raven she couldn't move anything in there. She'd told me Terra wasn't coming back. I hadn't believed her.

I was suddenly seized with a desire to trash Terra's room. I wanted to rip apart everything, including that stupid shiny heart box I made her…to prove she didn't matter to me…to prove I was ready to defeat her…if I didn't…that would show I still cared about her.

And I didn't.

So I needed to trash her room.

Now.

Any minute now.

"Beast Boy? Star's back an' everyone's ready. Time to go."

Okay, now or never. C'mon, just smash one thing.

"Beast Boy?" Cy called again.

"I'm coming!"

Now. Smash something. You can do it. It doesn't matter.

"Beast Boy?"

"AGH!" I kicked at the door, resulting in much foot pain. I spun around and stalked off. Didn't mean anything. I could always do it later anyway.


	32. Comedy

A/N: Sorry for the wait! To make up for it I bring you...TWO AT ONCE! I'll be more punctual in the future.

Anyway, didja hear TTG was uncancelled? Didja? Well, now you have, yay!

Beast Boy

Comedy

I had never been so happy in my entire life. I had reached the nirvana (Robin used that word once and I looked it up. If you say it a lot, people believe you're either smart or Buddhist), the zenith of happiness, the highest possible point of joy.

Just when all seemed lost, I had seen the light at the end of the tunnel.

Life had meaning again.

I burst into the living room and hugged the first person I saw.

"What is AZAR'S name…?"

"RAVEN! MY FAVORITE COMIC BOOK HAS GOTTEN UNCANCELED!"

"Get…off…me…" I could feel her body tensing up under me and reluctantly let go. She pushed me away from her and glared, dusting herself off. I kept grinning. Even her negative attitude could not dent my happiness. To my surprise, her face softened as she looked at my beaming visage.

"So, what are you so happy about?"

"I told you! My comic book! Uncanceled!"

"You're easily pleased."

"You don't understand! It means a lot to me."

"Well, I'm making some tea. You can yammer endlessly to me about it if you feel like it."

She started towards the kitchen. I followed her. Even through my happiness, I felt some awe. Old Raven would have yelled at me or stalked off by now. But ever since she'd kicked her dad's butt, Raven had relaxed a lot. It was…different.

"By the way," she said turning towards me. "Hug me again and I'll send you to another dimension."

Well, not that different.

I sat down at the kitchen counter bouncing up and down in my chair. Raven set to brewing her herbal tea.

"Do you want some?"

"Yeah, sure, just put-

"A freakish amount of sugar in, I know. Not that you need any sugar right now…"

Raven seemed to prepare our tea extra slowly. I knew she wouldn't want me to talk until she'd settled down with her tea, but it was SO HARD to keep my mouth shut. After what seemed like a million years, she sat down across from me, plunking our teacups down.

"Okay, tell me about your comic book."

"It's the greatest comic book ever! It gives my life meaning! I wrote a zillion letters when they were going to cancel it! I even made a public appearance when they didn't really believe it was me! And now, it's safe at least for this year! Which is great!"

"Uh…huh."

"I don't think you understand how awesome this is."

"Then tell me why it's so awesome. What do you like so much about the comic?"

"Really?"

Raven rolled her eyes. "Well, there's nothing better to do and I haven't tortured myself in a while, so why not?"

"Wow…oh my GOD, the world's ending again, isn't it?" I screamed.

Raven gritted her teeth. "Don't use up my good will, Beast Boy."

"Okay…okay well…actually…it goes back to the first time I read it…"

"Uh oh. Flashback time."

* * *

"L-Larry's going to be okay isn't he?" my voice cracked slightly when I said it. Rita kneeled down so she was eye level with me.

"Of course he is, sweetie."

"Rita…" Mento huffed. "What did we agree on about hard realities?"

Rita sighed. "Okay. Actually, Garfield, we don't know if Larry's going to be okay. His…energy and his body were separated for a very long time. That's…well, not good. But he's very tough. He did survive a plane crash once. We'll just have to see, okay?"

I tried really hard not to cry, because I knew Mento wouldn't like it. Rita hugged me.

"If I'd n-noticed, I probably could have gotten him close enough…" I muttered into her shoulder.

"Oh, honey, you were fighting Madame Rouge…"

"No, don't lie to him. He should have noticed. We all should have noticed. It's our fault this happened, and that includes him," Steve glared into the distance when he spoke. "But sometimes you have to make sacrifices when fighting villains and Larry knows that…"

"Steve. Shut up." Rita said firmly, letting go of me and turning to Mento.

"I'm just being honest. This is a superhero team and we can't-

"Garfield, let's go to the gift shop and pick out something nice for Larry when he wakes up, okay?" Rita dragged me toward the elevator and pushed me in, closing the door on a fuming Mento.

"We'll pick you out something too!" Rita said cheerfully as she pressed the button for the lobby. I nodded mutely and watched the elevator descend. She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose like she always did when she was upset while leaning against the wall.

"He means well," she said to nobody in particular.

The elevator dinged and I trailed behind Rita. The bored lady at the gift shop counter glanced at her but then did a double take as I appeared. Rita looked normal dressed in a button up shirt and black leggings, but I'd always stand out no matter what I wore. I knew the lady would be watching me until I left.

"Let's see…what would Larry like…" Rita pursed her lips in thought. I stared at her. Finally she gave a sigh. "He doesn't like anything, does he?"

"He doesn't HATE anything either," I said helpfully.

"And I thought Steve was impossible to shop for…I'll get him some flowers, who doesn't like flowers?"

"He's allergic."

"How can he be allergic? He's radioactive! Oh, never mind. I'll find something for him. What about you? Hey, there's a rack of comic books over there! Kids like comic books right?"

"I…guess?"

"Well, go pick out one!"

Listlessly, I shuffled over to the shelf and grabbed a magazine. I just wanted to make Rita stop worrying about me, so I didn't even look at the cover. I handed it to her at the counter. She was also purchasing a teddy bear wearing a sash with "GET WELL SOON!" stamped on it.

"Negative Man doesn't like teddy bears," I reminded her.

"Well, he'll just have to deal with it," said Rita, tousling my hair.

We stayed at the hospital in to the night. Nurses and doctors kept talking with Rita and Steve, using words I didn't understand. I was tired but I didn't want to go to sleep.

I decided to read the comic book. And it made me feel better. It really did. The story was nice and it had a happy ending. The art was nice too. With nothing better to do, I read it over and over again. I fell asleep holding it.

Rita jostled me awake at noon to tell me Larry was going to be okay, for real this time. I went to visit him and sat on the edge of his bed while he complained there was nothing on TV. I offered to read the book to him. He fell asleep himself halfway through.

* * *

"…And ever since then, I've gotten that comic every month. I have a subscription! Which was kind of hard when we were in the Doom Patrol cuz we moved a lot."

"Huh." Raven was giving me a weird look.

"What?"

"Well, it's just that you're being completely honest with me. You didn't embellish that story at all."

"How do you know?"

"It's not that hard to tell when you're embellishing something, believe me."

"Hmph. I'll have you know, I always tell the truth!"

"Whatever, Pinnochio. Well, you're clearly quite attached to this little book of yours."

"It's just…it's a lot of fun. A lot of things in life aren't fun anymore. Like, even in books and stuff. Other comic books, I mean. It's really depressing. But this book…it's not like that. I always feel better after reading it…hard to explain, I guess."

"I understand," said Raven softly, stirring at the dregs of her tea.

"You should read it."

"Fat chan- I mean, no thanks."

"Seriously, you totally should! I'll read one of your long boring books if you just read one issue!"

"First of all, my books are not "boring". Second of all, allowing you to borrow something of mine is like asking to never see it again. And last of all, let's just stick to doing our own thing, okay?"

"Fine," I pouted, crossing my arms at her. "You'll be sorry you didn't."

"Regret is eating away at my insides already."

Suddenly the alarm sounded, blaring throughout the Tower with flashing red lights.

"What do you think's happening?" I asked as Raven pulled her hood up and pushed her tea away with a sigh.

"Does it matter?"

"We should have different alarms for different things. Like if it's Slade, it should go VMMMM, and if it's a bank robbery it should be like EEEEEE and that way we always know-

"Come ON, Beast Boy," Raven said as she swooped away.

"All right, all right, I'm coming!"

That night when I was rereading all my own comics, I fell asleep on the couch. (Weirdly enough it was in the middle of the exact same one I'd gotten when Negative Man was in the hospital) I woke up to the sound of someone sitting beside me and jostling something.

As I opened my eyes, I could see blearily Raven was idly flipping through one of my comic books.

"AHA! CAUGHT YOU!"

Raven jumped and glared at me. "I was just curious."

"So what did you think?" I called as she floated haughtily to the kitchen.

"It…wasn't soul searingly horrible," she said carefully.

I grinned in triumph as she heated up her tea kettle.


	33. Tragedy

A/N: Takes place just after TTG 47. If you haven't read it, go read it now. OR ELSE. Then read the fic

Okay, if you can't get TTG (CAN'T) I'll give you spoilers. ONLY IF YOU ABSOLUTELY CAN'T OR ELSE I'LL SENSE IT AND CONTINUE TO BE OBNOXIOUS

It's the anniversary of Robin's parents circus-tastic death, and Robin's at the top of the Tower crying a bit and Starfire comes and at first he denies his pain but then he's all, "Okay, I'm not okay," and Starfire hugs him and tells him to let it out and THEN they kiss and WHOA BATMAN'S WATCHING NOT CREEPY AT ALL and he's glad Starfire doesn't suck as much as he does at comforting Robin.

There.

Robin

Tragedy

"There!"

"What is it?"

"I just saw him! I was sure he'd left by now."

"I do not see anything."

"Look, over there, behind that tree. Focus."

"Wha-there is nothing there, Robin! I…oh…"

"You saw him!"

"At last."

"It's okay. You're not supposed to."

"But I have excellent vision!"

"It's training, Star. You have to learn it from him."

"Why does he not come talk to you?"

"He's Batman."

Starfire gave me as stern a look as she could muster. I smiled lazily back at her and her expression softened. She put an arm around me and I could tell she was trying very hard to be gentle.

"That is not an answer, you know."

"It's hard to explain."

"I do wish you would. The relationship between you two perplexes and vexes me."

I looked down at the sparkling waves crashing against the island, my vision spiraling the way it does when I look down from great heights. Star and I were on top of Titans Tower, as we had been all afternoon. We were both laying on our stomachs and watching the sun set. Star was so warm, it was like she had a tiny sun inside her.

I had to admit it was the most painless anniversary of my parents death since they…well, died. I felt…sad…but it wasn't…choking me? Like it usually did. It was…an acute sort of sadness, maybe more acute than usual…but at the same time…it was a content…feeling. I had lost…so much…but now I'd found something else. Sort of a wedding and a funeral at the same time. It was extremely painful, but also cleansing. She was so warm…

"Robin? You are all right?" she said softly, stroking my face. "You do not have to explain to me if you do not wish it. It is none of my business."

"No, it's not that. Just trying to find the right words. Well…Batman…Bruce…he can't…talk about things. Like me, a bit."

"But you are much better at it now than you were. I am proud."

"Thanks. It's just…sometimes, people get…damaged…and nothing can ever fix them?"

"But what happened to him is exactly the same as what happened to you…."

"He didn't have someone like you. Or even someone like him. He had…Alfred, but he pushed Alfred away, and Alfred's not the type…he really cares, but he can't be like you and force somebody to talk. Not many people are like you. So, by the time I came around, it was too late for him, in a way. Don't get me wrong, he's a really good person, he's like a surrogate father…but…he…he's Batman."

"That is what you said before. But I think I understand a bit now," she looked across the water again, looking for Bruce, but even I couldn't tell where he is right now.

"So he is here…to check up on you?"

"Yeah. I could hardly believe it when I saw him. I thought he didn't…I thought he was through with me."

"I think it is ridiculous he does not talk to you. If you would allow it, I would gladly go seek him out and tell him how reprehensible his behavior is!"

I snorted.

"What is so funny?"

"I'm just imagining you two meeting. Heh. I can barely imagine…he's never seen anything quite like you."

She sighed. "I suppose you will not let me?"

"I would rather throw myself off this tower."

"Robin!"

"I'm kidding!"

"Death is not a joke!"

"You think I don't know that?"

She sighed and squeezed my hand. "I am sorry."

"It's okay. But please, don't talk to him. I can't face him. There's too much…there."

"I am glad that you have been so honest with me. I know it was hard, telling us the truth about your life."

"You, Raven, Cyborg and Beast Boy are the best friends I've ever had. It was time I told you, forget the promise I made Bruce…"

"There is one thing you have not told us though. Why you and Batman…broke up?"

"…I'm, uh, not sure that that's the right expression, Star…"

"It is not? I saw it on the television…"

"Well, technically it is the right expression, but it sounds…wrong. Especially with the allegations that stupid book made…"

Starfire wrinkled her brow. "I do not understand…what book?"

"Just say…when I left…I mean, when Batman fired me."

"Very well. Are you going to tell me or not?"

I could tell she was annoyed at this point. Was I dodging the question? After all, why couldn't she know? It was no big deal. She deserved to know.

"Robin? You are doing that thing where you stare at nothing and look very intense. Am I making you uncomfortable?"

"I'm…just…trying to decide how to start," I covered quickly. "It had been building for a long time. On my end…he was scary sometimes. Hard to talk to. And really controlling. On his end… he was always afraid I'd get hurt or killed. Or maybe I was just got in his way."

"I do not even know Batman and I can tell you that last part is not the truth."

"He told me that I got in his way. When he fired me."

"He was lying," Starfire said with certainty.

"No offense, Starfire, but like you said, you didn't know him. You can't expect to know if he was lying or not."

Starfire looked slightly hurt. This made me feel bad and I could tell she noticed and her expression turned apologetic. It irked me how easily Starfire could read me sometimes, even though it was even easier to read her.

"You are correct. I apologize. I just do not see how you could get in the way of anybody. You are extremely competent."

"It's all a matter of perspective. But, anyway, everything came to a boil one night when he was away on a business trip. The last night of the trip, the Joker…you know who the Joker is?"

"Yes," Starfire said. "He is…like Slade is to us in a sense? He was Batman and yourself's…villain of largeness?"

"Our "big" villain, yeah. Completely insane. Well, I left a note for Bruce and went off to stop him from filling Gotham Orphanage with Joker toxin…which sounds really silly when you say it out loud…I managed to save the orphanage but at the price of the Joker capturing me. He drugged me and put me in the back of his truck. If I'd been in my right mind, I could have escaped quickly, but because of the drug I took forever fighting my way out and got pretty badly injured in the process."

"That sounds horrible!"

"All part of a day's work, actually. But the problem was the Joker had actually given me a slow acting poison…he had a lot of those, some really painful ones where you laugh yourself to death, like what he was going to expose the orphans to…this was one of his milder ones."

"So it was not lethal?"

"Of course it was. It was just slow acting and I wouldn't die in fits of laughter, but my face would be frozen in a smile. He was expecting Batman to come, you see. He always really liked putting me in death traps to watch Batman squirm. I couldn't make it home, so I passed out in an alley. By that time, Batman had gotten my note. He tracked down the Joker and the Joker…told him that I'd been killed. He showed him my utility belt and said he dumped me somewhere."

"I see. Did Batman do the freaking out?"

"Completely. So much in fact that eventually the Joker got scared and told him the truth. It took Batman a while to find me, by the time which I was nearly dead. He got me to the antidote in time though."

"That must have been very traumatic!" Starfire said with concern.

I shrugged. "I'd been through worse. But the problem was the timing…and how Batman had been convinced I was dead. It really made him think I shouldn't do this anymore. After I recovered, he fired me."

I sighed and looked again across the water. I saw him for a second, but didn't point it out to Starfire, who had her arm around me.

"I fought back and we got into this huge argument…he said…I said…things."

"Like the falsification about you "getting in the way?""

"Worse than that. It got really personal…we said things…my parents…his parents…"

I closed my eyes, trying not to remember. Whatever Starfire said about "letting it all out" I didn't want to start crying again. Not now.

"I am sorry…" she said softly, stroking my hair.

"It's okay," I said, finding my voice again. "Anyway, I ran away that night. Packed all my stuff, took some money, and got as far away from Gotham as I possibly could and still stay in the country. I get all the money I give you guys from my trust fund from the circus…and when we really need it, from the account Bruce set up for me. He never closed it, which was nice of him. I always feel guilty when I take that money…"

"You should not. He is very rich and you are his adopted son."

"Ward."

"Whatever," Starfire huffed.

"Never heard you use that word before. You've been hanging around Raven too much."

Starfire kissed me on the cheek. "I most humbled by your confidence with me."

"No big deal," I muttered.

"It is a deal of greatness. Now as they often say on the romantic shows of the television Cyborg secretly watches: kiss me, you fool."

"Wait, what was that about Cybmmmph…"

We talked into the night. I told her about all the good times at the circus (like Larry the Strongman and how annoyed that whenever I talked to him I'd do gymnastics while speaking) and even some of the bad times (like how Mom and Dad didn't listen to me when I said I'd heard people threatening the ringmaster). We talked about our parents, our friends…everything. Eventually I felt my eyes getting heavy…I couldn't move even when I tried…I couldn't believe I was falling asleep, I never let the need to sleep invade anything I did…in fact I hadn't slept in the last two days! Oh…

Could still see Batman…see, I couldn't fall asleep, cuz bats'r nocturnal…but I'm a robin…are robin's nocturnal…no, of course not, they sing in the morning…why'd I choose the name Robin anyway? Oh, right, because that's what Mom used to call me…cuz I was born in the spring…and incredibly hyperactive…used to be…so…so…happy…but I…it turned out all right…I guess…just wish…could save…everyone…

Maybe if I…try hard…er…

…

* * *

Epilogue:

He had fallen asleep in my lap. A very deep sleep in fact. Very rarely did Robin sleep with such deepness, for generally he is a sleeper of light. He was even snoring a little. It was simply adorable. I stroked his hair fondly. Today had been a trying day for him…but he had talked to me…confided in me! I was so proud.

The night was cool and crickets did their chirping around me. I looked across the water with was as smooth as if it was made of glass.

And I saw him. The Batman. He was leaving at long last. Strange, that I could see him now, when before Robin had to point out…

I wanted so very badly to talk to him. I would tell him he must talk to Robin. I would tell him to apologize. I would tell him how Robin is a wonderful person and did not deserve this treatment.

But Robin would not want that. It would be wrong.

I looked down at Robin. If I moved his head from my lap and he did not wake, it would prove him to be deeply asleep. Carefully, oh so carefully, I moved his head off me.

He did not wake.

I should not do this.

It was wrong.

I took off into the air and I was across the water in less than a second. I could see him. I followed him silently, invisible amongst the trees.

This was very wrong of me. Robin would hate me if he found out and would have a right to. I was a promise breaker, a liar, a…chlorbag varblernelk AND a gremplork at the same time. I was…

He turned around. I stopped flying and waited, hidden.

"I know you're following me. I wanted to say something to you."

He did not scare me. He did not. I was a Tamaranian warrior and his cape that swooshed much like Raven's cloak and slightly unnatural voice and aura of sterness did not scare me in the least. I floated down and faced him directly. I prepared a speech. I was going to make it. It would be…what is the word…scathing. Incredibly so.

But then he held out his hand.

"Thank you for being a good friend to him."

I stared at him. He did not move his hand. Finally, I took it and did the shaking ritual earthlings are so accustomed to. In my astonishment, it is likely I squeezed his hand much too hard. He did not show any signs of pain.

And then, just like that, he melted into the shadows, leaving me standing there with nothing to say.


	34. Marked Woman

Raven 

Marked Woman

"Robin…stop…I can…walk….by myself…"

"No, you can't." Robin's voice sounded distant, barely penetrating the fog in my skull. It was frustrating, having him support me. He had to be injured worse than I was, having been smashed with rocks and fire. All my fault…so…selfish.

"Are you sure you don't want me to carry you?"

"For the…hundredth…time…no. I'm not…a damsel…in distress…okay?"

Great, I'd bought all this trouble on him, he saved my like and I was yelling at him. Why was I like this? Why was I always like this? Was it because HE was a part of me?

"I know that," Robin snorted derisively, interrupting my internal monologue. I tried to look at him but everything was still so blurry.

Whatever magic Slade has used had really done a number on me…I couldn't believe I was putting Slade and magic in the same sentence. Slade was an inhabitant of the physical world…the world of pure brains and drive and movement he inhabited with Robin, a world that threatened to consume Robin as well as him, one that the rest of us couldn't comprehend. And now he had entered my world…the vengeful, quiet and subtle realm of magic that had always threatened to consume ME…and he mixed the two, two worlds that should and could never collide, without thought…as easily as if he were mixing a chemistry set. And he worked for my father…Slade and my father together, it was like a nightmare that had never dawned on me. That fool has NO idea what he was getting into with my father, what a dangerous game he was playing. This was not Robin's world. This was not his. This was mine and I knew the secrets and Slade knew nothing.

It would cost Slade in the end, that much was certain.

But the real problem was, whom else would it cost in the meantime?

"Raven, are you with me? Are you passing out again? I think I see Starfire…hold on, we're almost there…"

Before I could reply crankily, Starfire was running towards, trailed by Cyborg and Beast Boy.

"Thank goodness you are safe! What happened? One minute the two of you and Slade were there, and the next minute you had disappeared. It was like the magic! And Robin, you are unharmed, I do not know how, for I feared I could not have rescued you in time! Where is Slade? How is-

She screeched to a stop at the sight of me. "X'hal!"

"Dude, what happened?"

"Slade attacked Raven," Robin said bluntly. Cyborg started to say something, but Robin cut him off, "I'll tell you after we get her in the T-Car."

"Don't…t-talk about me…like I'm not there…" I muttered. Still being a horrible person. It's like I couldn't stop. But Robin just said, "Sorry."

"Dude, but, I don't get it…" Beast Boy stammered as much to my protest, Cyborg picked me up bodily and we headed toward the T-Car. "You were only gone for a minute…and Raven, are you wearing a wig…but that's your real hair…but it's LONG…how is that?"

"BB, what part of Robin saying he'd tell you after we took care of this didja not understand?" Cyborg said forcefully.

"Sorry," Beast Boy said in a vaguely traumatized kind of way.

"Robin, are you injured as well? You are doing the funny walking." Starfire said in concern.

"No, I'm not."

"Well, you are not NOW. But before I said that, you were."

He'd gotten injured. No surprise, he'd been smashed into things with Slade's fire powers multiple times. But he'd never let on and never let anybody carry HIM…

We reached the T-Car and Cyborg gently set me in the back seat. Starfire and Beast Boy sat beside me, staring nervously. The car rumbled to a start.

"So, what happened?" Cyborg asked.

"Well, Raven stopped time, I guess. And she was able to make me able to inhabit the frozen world with her and therefore saved me from getting crushed by that wheel. For some reason, it didn't affect Slade. I'm guessing it has something to do with these new powers. I tried to take down Slade…but he seems to be invulnerable now. I'm not sure how invulnerable…Raven, any of your magic hurt him?"

"No," I said.

"Well, Raven came and saved me again and we found shelter. Slade came in after us, and attacked and…well, I guess I passed out," Robin said in a slightly ashamed tone of voice that made me want to strangle him. I noticed he hadn't mentioned the little speech I gave him. "I woke up eventually and by the time I got there Raven was falling through the air, unconscious. I caught her, but Slade got away. I don't know what happened." He craned his neck to look back where I was, leaning my head against the window. "You don't have to tell us if you don't want to."

"Good, because I don't," I said shortly. "We had a fight, that's all."

"But your hair…" Beast Boy said.

Starfire shushed him with a look.

"Are you okay?" She asked me with deep concern. Everyone turned to look at me. I knew I had to say something to convince them not to worry. Something Raven would say normally. Something to convince them nothing had changed.

"Well, I'm freezing to death because I'm dressed like a streetwalker while at the same time suffocating because of this ridiculously long hair, but other than that, I'm super."

Cyborg snorted and Beast Boy and Starfire visibly relaxed. Robin's expression remained scrutinizing, though.

"Please, what is a streetwalker?" Starfire wondered.

As if to change the subject, Beast Boy interjected, "Hello, I think we're all forgetting that Slade has come back from the dead!"

"Well, we never found his body," Robin said, furrowing his brow.

"Terra punched him into a freaking pit of lava! Hey, wait, do you think we're on that stuff you were on, Robin? Those drugs? Maybe it's a hallucination."

Even preoccupied as I was, I managed to marvel that Beast Boy could be remarkably focused if he was really invested in a situation.

"No," Robin shook his head. "He didn't have fire powers when I…saw him. Also, none of us are acting…"

"Cookoo Labanza?" Beast Boy commented rather insensitively.

"Yes."

We were hoverplaning over the water now and I watched water rush under me. A feeling of sickness and guilt I had been trying to suppress was rising in my stomach. I knew exactly why Slade was back. I also knew Robin would probably stay up all night tonight trying to figure it out, that the rest of them would wonder, that Beast Boy be forced to think about Terra…but I couldn't tell them. I couldn't even begin.

We landed on the island. Cyborg attempted to help me out of the car but I pushed him away. I was less dizzy now and could walk steady now with effort. The other Titans followed behind me uncertainly, like they were prepared to catch me if I fell over.

"I'm going to my room," I told them when we got inside.

"Oh, um, okay," said Cyborg.

"Call us if you need anything," said Robin.

"Yes, please do," said Starfire.

"We're, like, right here," Beast Boy punctuated the rest.

"All I need is to stop being treated like a four year old," I said, walking away with dignity, something very difficult to do when you're dizzy, dressed in the ripped facsimile of a bikini and have hair in your eyes.

As soon as I stumbled into my room, I collapsed on my bed. Facedown in the soft pillows, I could pretend, for a moment, I was safe in here. I could hear the other's talking.

"She will…be all right?"

"I think so. I hope so," Robin replied to Starfire in a tired voice.

"Whatever happened, it's rattled her, but she's still Raven, I can tell," Cyborg said with confidence. "Girl's tough. One of the toughest people I've ever met."

"Yeah, look, I didn't want to mention it before, but Slade's back…so, what if Terra's back?" Beast Boy chimed in.

"Beast Boy, I don't see how that could…"

"But it could! I mean, if he can come back, why can't she? I'm gonna go check!"

"Beast Boy…!"

"Let him go," Cyborg said. "He visits her sometimes, it's just something he needs to do. He'll be back soon."

Their voices began to fade as they traveled away.

And I was left alone.

But I was never alone.

I felt…so cold.

It had happened. Part of me has believed…had hoped…that it was all a lie. But it had happened. That this day would go by, uneventful. That if I ran hard enough, I could outrun time.

So stupid.

So…selfish.

I had known, when I arrived on Earth that I couldn't get attached to anyone or anything. My goal had been to spare Azarath and my mother from Trigon. Maybe try to do some good and atone for what was to come. Maybe try to find a way to delay Trigon's coming.

And then I met them. These four crazy misfit kids…they were incredibly annoying and incredibly…kind. Robin told me it didn't matter what or who I was, that he was willing to trust me. The rest of them said the same. They offered me a home…a family…a life.

At first I was shy, but eventually I became more comfortable. I realized my social skills weren't that great and I couldn't seem to beat the reclusive nature and cynical attitude I had developed in Azarath. But they accepted it. They actually seemed to like me.

And I tried to tell them. I tried to leave them, numerous times. But I wouldn't get very fat before I missed them too much and convinced myself to come back.

I couldn't bring myself to tell them.

What if they hated me?

And worse, what if they didn't?

If they told me it wasn't my fault, when I knew it was? If they thought they could beat him, when I knew they couldn't? If they risked their lives, sacrificed themselves for me?

That…would make me feel terrible.

Already I had caused them suffering. And I had tried to tell Robin the truth…but…now I couldn't. The more I thought of it, the more horrible it seemed. The fact that I had not told them before made it worse. And Slade was involved…and I'd have to tell them that I wasn't a superhero at all, just the worst villain already among them, a traitor like Terra was.

I couldn't do it. I couldn't imagine the looks on their faces.

It was selfish…and cowardly.

But what could you expect from the girl who was going to end the world?

Maybe I could still stop it. Or at least delay it. There had to be. And I'd do it so they didn't notice. They'd never have to know. It was an empty hope, but it was all I had. I had to try. I had to try for that one slim chance that I could stop pretending to be a hero…but actually become one.

I forced myself to get up, despite how heavy I felt. Beast Boy was back now, I could hear his voice, and those of the other Titans. I couldn't make out what they were saying.

First thing I had to do was put on some actual clothes. I made a grab for my black leotard, and unzipped its neck so I could put it on. It made me feel a little…cleaner to have it on. Less pathetic. I snapped on my cloak too, which made me feel safer.

Then I began to go to work on my hair. I'd say it made me feel lighter…but as I watched each violet lock fall, I was reminded of the vision. I half expected the four red eyes to blaze in the mirror, but everything was silent. Trigon seemed to be keeping silent right now. But he was still watching, I knew. And his voice would be back soon enough,

Cyborg could hardly believe me that time I told him I cut my own hair. "That is professional looking, Raven. And, I don't know much about hairstyles, but yours looks like it would be pretty difficult to do right."

I told him that I'd been cutting my own hair for a long time, which is true, and that I used telekinesis to do the back, which was also true. But I'd never had to cut off so much at once. It felt weird. And I kept having to watch my reflection stare blankly back at me. I'd never liked looking myself in the mirror. I'd always known the person looking back was a lie. That inside this small girl lurked a evil so massive, it should make the mirror break to see. Today, it felt particularly wrong. The girl in the mirror watched me chop away the long hair as if it were ropes binding me to my father.

And she wasn't fooled. You can cut and cut and cut, her eyes seemed to say, but you'll never break away. You'll never be able to go back to the way it was. Not now. But hey, if it makes you feel better, snip away.

So I did.

_Snip. Snip. Snip._

* * *

"Hey, Rave, betcha I can ear this whole bowl of ice cream in thirty seconds," Beast Boy said with relish.

"Go ahead."

He began to shovel it in to his mouth, but halfway through dropped the spoon and screamed "BRAIN FREEZE! AGH!"

"Heh."

"You knew that would happen," Beast Boy accused me.

"I can truthfully say I had no idea. I didn't even know you had a brain."

"Oh, ok- HEY!"

"All right, BB, stop foolin' around, it's time to give Raven her presents!" Cyborg said proudly.

My face flushed involuntarily. "Oh no. You…you shouldn't…"

"Yeah, but we did anyway!" Cyborg said enthusiastically. "Open mine first! It's the best!"

He shoved me a small package, wrapped carefully in a paper that had little ravens all over it. The sight of it made my heart sink. There was a card pinned to it that I opened where Cyborg had drawn a rather bad caricature of me putting a pie in Beast Boy's face and signed the words- "Happy sixteenth to my favorite crime bustin', spell castin', witticism crackin' girl. We're all glad you came into our lives and not just cuz you make really tasty tea! Your friend, Cyborg."

"Cyborg, this is..this is…"

"It's just the card, open the present!"

I undid the wrapping carefully and with trembling fingers. It was an assortment of candles, all colors except pink, some of them with really nice patterns on them, a couple shaped like ravens.

"I figured you could use 'em for your meditating," Cyborg said.

"I…I don't know what to say…thank you…I don't…"

"Dude, that is nothing! Open mine!" Beast Boy thrust a bundle at me, really badly wrapped with bits of tape sticking out everywhere, but the card, which was also handmade had big letters proclaiming "HAPPY BIRTHDAY RAE. FROM BEAST BOY," was a lot better drawn than Cyborg's. It was an incredibly random assortment of animals as well as manga people and comic book characters with me at the center looking grumpy, but it was really nicely done in ink. I had no idea Beast Boy could draw so well. There was so much I didn't know about my friends…and they really knew nothing about me. But they did this anyway.

"Raven, are you just gonna stare at it?"

"I…didn't know you could draw."

"I have many amazing talents and I'm glad you're finally recognizing them, but open my incredibly awesome present!"

"Man, it is just incense! Mine was much better!" Cyborg complained.

"Oh my God, Cyborg, you spoiled it!"

"Incense?" I tore into the package with difficulty. There was indeed a bundle of incense, and all different types. "Wow…Beast Boy…you…this was…so uncharacteristically thoughtful…"

"Dude, only an idiot would not notice you use incense. And don't come back with the obvious reply to that."

"I wasn't going to," I muttered. "Thank you."

Beast Boy beamed, but I felt rotten. He was such a nice kid, really…and I….I would…I couldn't think about that. No, try to enjoy the party. It's what they want. I resisted the urge to look down at my hands.

The table jolted jarringly, making me jump, Starfire had slammed her present down and almost broken the table in the process.

"Open mine, please!"

"But you already gave me that…meat thing…"

"That is merely a ritual, not a Earthling gift! You must open!"

I did, and gasped when I saw under the strange wrapping (she had torn up grass into tiny shreds and taped it onto the box. I didn't even want to ask.) there were three books, two were books of magic I had vaguely mentioned wanting to her in a conversation long ago (I couldn't believe she had remembered it for so long) and the third was a collection of writing by Edgar Allen Poe.

"There is poem in that tome about the bird for which you are named I am told. Also it is very depressing!" Starfire said with enthusiasm.

_And the eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming…_ recalled. I shook my head and tried to banish the shiver that had gone up my spine.

"Azar," I muttered, half as a prayer to exterminate my fears and half as an exclamation in response to the kindness. "Thank you, Starfire. I…don't deserve any of this…"

"Do not be foolish! It is the day of your birth and gift giving is the expected ritual! I only regret I did not bestow upon you a card! I did not know of the tradition until it was too late!"

"Please…" I wanted to tell her to shut up, that she had to run away, far away, that her kindness was wasted, but I bit my lip to keep the words in. Robin silently handed me a box, neatly wrapped in blue paper. There was a straight forward storebrought card wishing me "much happiness in the years to come", and Robin wrote in near cursive under the message "I am glad to have you as a team mate and friend. I hope you know how valuable you are to us. Best wishes on your birthday." He signed it off with his insignia. His words stabbed me like daggers.

I stared at him sadly and he looked back in that analyzing sort of way he always does when he senses something wrong.

"Everything okay?"

"Yes, of course. Just…thank you," I babbled and I ripped open the paper with unneccasary force. Inside the box was…

"Nunchucks? Dude, you got her nunchucks? What the heck?"

Robin turned a deep red. "They…I couldn't think of anything…and they looked really nice…"

"Robin, you told me you would be fine doing the shopping on your own!" Starfire scolded.

"I just wanted to get her something useful!"

"Man, what would she ever use nunchucks for?" Cyborg said incredulously.

"The nunchucks are great, Robin," I interrupted quickly. "I mean, I could use them if I ever lost my powers! Or on Beast Boy!"

"Hey!"

"Just because I have powers doesn't mean I don't need help from…thing that cut wheat and…villains….I happen to have a great abiding love for nunchucks," I scolded Cyborg.

"All right, all right,"

I could tell Robin didn't believe me, but he perked up a little.

"I know you had a tough day, but I was hoping this would make up for it," he said brightly.

"Yes…it's…nice…" Suddenly I felt sick.

"Raven?"

"I feel kind of…off…I have…to go lie down…I'll help you clean up later…"

"No, that's okay, we'll clean up," Robin said with concern. "Are you okay? Do you need-

"No, I'm just tired. Thank you for the party. This was all…great," I backed away.

"Just…tell us, okay? If something's wrong?."

I sank into the floor and popped into my room.

"But it's me. I'm wrong. Everything I am," I whispered.

I shakily walked over to the mirror and stared into my reflection.

"I hate you," I said to the girl staring back at me.

Her eyes turned red and she grinned at me with pleasure.

**And Hatred shall rule…**


	35. Marking the Spot

A/N: Not sure about this one. Turned out better in my head. Not sure I wrote X right. Well, whatever. Happy Holidays, all!

Starfire

Marking the Spot.

"Here's the building," he muttered, his voice as ever distorted by his mask. "Now before, I accidentally set off the security system. That's how they got me. I thought the hacking gadget in my belt would-

"You mean the one in_Robin's_ belt," I snarled at him.

His blank white eyes narrowed as he surveyed the premises. "Possession in nine-tenths of the law, cutie."

"Do not call me that!" I hissed. We were crouched the grass, peering around the edge of an unremarkable building like cowards. "You do know the fault of this is all yours! You were foolish enough to steal from these people and Robin saved you at the cost of his own freedom."

"And now I'm saving him, so we'll be even. But if you keep yammering on, he'll be dead."

"You said the shot was not fatal!"

"Yeah, the bullet only grazed him on the side of the head when he pushed me out of the way-

"And then you ran like a coward, letting them take his unconscious form…"

Red X did not seem the least bit humiliated by my comment. "Being a coward and not being an idiot are two very different things. But, my point is, knowing the kid, he'll start getting mouthy and one of those thugs will lose their temper. So we better get in there before that happens."

"So let us go."

"The security system will be set off and they've got some pretty advanced lasers…not the kind you can trick by getting them to fire on each other as I found out…"

"They will not hurt me. You may stay back if you wish," I said, beginning to get up, but he grabbed my hand.

"You realize those lasers WILL hurt the kid, right? And he's tied up right now."

I stopped. "Very well. What is the plan?"

"I…really don't know…that system can't be hacked without a few components being cut away with surgical precision…I'd need some really fine lasers…HEY!" Red X snapped his fingers. "You've got eye lasers! You used them to cut me off once when you became threatened by the overwhelming attraction you felt for me!"

"WHAT did you just say?"

"Can you make them really precise, or are they just good for smashing things, much like yourself?" Red X asked me, ignoring my ire and extracting a device for his utility belt.

"How small do you want me to cut?"

"The laser needs to be a half a centimeter wide-

"Centimeter?"

"This big," Red X showed me. "I have lasers but not anything that fine. Hit there and there," He pointed a light to specific spots on a small gray box next to the door. "Aim perfectly and I can use one of your hair-brained hero's gadgets to hack it. Can you do it?"

"I never have before. But for Robin, I will do it anyway."

"I can't begin to tell you how that fills me with confidence. Okay, on three. One…two…"

I let my eyes light up with the righteous fury. It was not hard at all when the source of my anger was right next to me talking in a irritatingly smug voice.

"…three…"

My eyes burned and the laser began to form, but I set two fingers in front of my eyes, just barely apart from each other, and let if cipher through the minute space. It caused the fingers much pain, I was not immune to my own starbolts, but the laser became very small and I aimed precisely, hitting the box once…and then another time….

Red X flung a…. well, red X at the box, which latched onto it. I heard a cracking sound.

"This had better work," X said, and he leaped out into the open and I followed behind him.

Nothing happened.

X whistled. "Impressive work, cu-

"A_hem."_

"Uh, let's go get birdboy."

He did not need to do the telling twice. I headed for the door and was about to kick it down when he grabbed my wrist once more and whispered, "Could we at least TRY for the element of surprise? Robin could be anywhere in the building."

I sighed and allowed him to quietly open the door. We came upon an empty hallway.

"Can you track him with your-." Red X began to me but suddenly "UNG! OOF! AHH!" echoed from the room to the left of us.

"Never mind."

We rushed over there and through the open door saw Robin half conscious and struggling with one of his captors. His head was bleeding from the flesh wound he had sustained saving Red X and he was tied to the chair. A large man (he looked to be superhuman) had a gun to his head while two women and smaller man stood around idly.

"For the last time, kid, how do we contact your masked mentor and get that damn ransom?!"

"Tr-try the Bat signal, th-that usually works…" Robin managed to say.

"Wow, that was pretty good," Red X whispered. "I had no idea the kid had a sense of humor."

The captor was less amused and hit Robin across the face with his gun. I started forward but Red X grabbed me once more.

"They've got a gun to his head right now, you don't want them to shoot on reflex," he hissed.

"Dan, you're not going to get anywhere with this torture stuff. I can tell, this kid doesn't have a breaking point," one of the women said.

"Everyone has a breaking point," Dan snarled.

"Not him. We don't want Batman tangling with us anyway, any ransom's not worth the risk. We're just dealers but now…we have somebody who can help us control this city. We've got this kid, we either use him or kill him. You decide."

Red X had told me these people sold drugs that gave people the superpowers. The Robin had been trying to track them before Red X bought them right to him, unfortunately because they were after him for attempting to steal from them. Then they had taken Robin, and the first person Red X has found to help him rescue Robin back was myself.

"Okay, then, so lock him up," the smaller man said, and at last the large man took his gun away from Robin's head to put in his pocket.

"NOW!" Red X cried, but I was already ahead of him, and I punched the taller woman and smaller man in the back of their heads. The small man went down easily, but punching the woman was such as punching a thagnock and she did not even flinch. She was taking the super powered drug. She turned around, but Red X threw his sticky X at her face, and I went after the large man, who was trying to unholster his gun. I hit him over and over again with my star bolts and he crashed into the wall, but got up again. It was unbelievable. Suddenly, I heard a thumping noise, and whipped around to see the smaller woman of the group had pressed a button, which activated laser. My first thought was to shield Robin so I jumped on him, knocking over the chair he was on as well, but my body covered him and the lasers did not reached, though they caused me minimal pain.

"Look…out…" Robin managed to say, and he punched around me, hitting the large man behind us in the face as he threatened to attack. However, the man seemed to feel no pain, but Robin's own hand gave a sickening crack.

"ROBIN!" I cried as he groaned, clutching his own wrist. Red X was barely dodging the lasers, and the women were going after him now.

The strong man grabbed my hair but I whipped my head around and smashed him into the wall. Then I turned on my eye lasers and kept them at him continuously until I couldn't anymore. When I stopped, he was unconscious.

"Good work, Star…" Robin said in a strangled voice. "You need to get the lasers now though, before they get Red X…"

"But you-

"I can use the big guy to shield me. GO!"

I flew up and grabbed Red X around the waist. There were only two lasers but they were the best I had ever seen. There was no stopping them.

"Blast the control center!" Red X yelled. I did so, completely annihilating it. The lasers stopped, and I touched down, dropping Red X, ready to face the women. But I heard the sounds of a struggle behind me and whipped around. The large man had woken up, or perhaps never been unconscious at all, and was choking Robin, who was unable to fight back, his face growing pale and his eyes rolling up in his head. Red X and I rushed forward, but the blonde woman took a device out of her pocket a pressed it opening a trapdoor below us. I fell a few feet but quickly stopped in midair and Red X grabbed my foot. I began to fly up but Dan, the large man, threw Robin's prone body down and I caught it and the door closed. I threw a few starbolts at it, but when it would not yield I quickly flew down to the bottom and laid Robin on the floor and put my ear to his chest.

He was not breathing. I barely had time to feel the shock until instincts took over and I yanked open his mouth and breathed in it twice. When I stopped, Red X, for once not saying anything, began to do the chest pumping and halfway through, Robin gave a cough and gasp and began to breathe, but remained unconscious.

"Yes!" Red X said, as I wiped away tears from my cheeks. I had not even realized I had been crying.

"H-He requires medical attention," I said, shoving myself together. I was normally very comfortable with expressing my emotions, but did not want to do it in front of Red X for some reason.

"This thing had a medical kit when I stole it…but I took it out to make room for more xenothium…" Red X said, gesturing to his utility belt. If I did not know better I would say he sounded slightly ashamed.

"That was extremely foolish."

"Yeah, well…"

"Rip some of your cape off, I will stop the bleeding on his head."

Red X did so and I did the bandaging.

"You're a lot smarter than you…seem," he admitted.

"Any the ideas of compliments you have leave much to be desired." I said shortly.

"So, we're trapped here?" Red X looked up.

"So it would seem."

"Any way to contact your friends?"

I took the communicator out. "They are jamming it."

"Great."

"We will escape." I crossed my legs and placed Robin's head on my lap. It made me feel somewhat more secure.

The silence stretched on for quite a while before Red X broke it.

"Guess you're blaming me for all this?"

"You do not think you are at fault?" I said sharply. "Robin got captured saving you from a situation of your own devising."

"He didn't have to save me."

"You told me you yelled at him to help you."

"Well…okay, it is my fault. I'm…I'm…"

"Sorry?" I asked.

"Yeah, that."

"Why did you want to rescue him?" I asked him. It had been bothering me since the time he approached me.

"So we could be even."

"For as long as I have known of you, you are obsessed with this "even". Why?"

"I don't like the feeling I owe him something. And the kid's a pain in the neck, but I don't want him to DIE. I'm just a thief, I'm not out to hurt anybody."

"Hmpf. He did get hurt, though. Because of you."

"I already said I was sorry!"

"He felt much guilt as well. After you stole his suit. Every bad thing you do, he blames on himself."

"That's not MY problem," Red X snorted. "He's a nice kid, but I'm always telling him, he takes things way too seriously."

"Why did you steal it?" I asked him.

"Um hello? It's a state of the art robotic suit, why would I NOT steal it?"

"No. How did you find out about it? How did you break into the Tower?"

"That's available on a need to know basis. And you don't need to know."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "I could take the mask off right now."

"I wouldn't let you."

"You could not stop me," I scoffed.

"It's pretty much impossible for you to get off if you're not the owner. It's got a failsafe that will zap you. The kid made this pretty high tech. Of course, had to modify it to work for me…"

Silence fell as I continued to glare at him. I was not sure I believed him about the mask. But there was no point. I looked down at Robin.

"How badly is he hurt?" Red X broke in.

"Two fingers of the right hand are broken, and he has a mild concussing of the head. Also, his throat is somewhat damaged. He will not be able to talk for a few days."

"Wow, that sounds like a break for you and your team mates."

"You most urgently need to do the shutting up now," I said sharply.

"Hey, don't be so uptight. You're really into him, aren't you?"

" 'Into' him?"

"You know. Looooovvvee?" He clasped his hands together in mock innocence.

"That is none of your business."

"Hey, I'm not knocking it. I have no idea how you can put up with the constant heroic brooding, but if that's your thing…"

"He is a good person. He is too hard on himself at times, but he is a joy to be around other times," I said softly.

"Yeah. Well. Want to know a secret?"

I glared at him suspiciously. "Perhaps."

"I kind of admire him. I mean, he's the only person I know who really puts others before himself. Sometimes I wish I could be like that."

"I think you could. You could join us and be the hero," I said quickly.

It was too good of an opportunity. I knew Robin would want me to at least try.

"No thanks," Red X snorted. "I am who I am."

"That is nonsense and gremplork. You can change who you are. I have seen many do it."

"I don't WANT to be a hero, all right? I just want to be me. And I'm selfish. And you know what? I don't mind that. I keep myself alive. I might admire the kid in some ways, but I'd rather die than be like him. He's obsessed! And look where it got him." Red X gestured at me.

I stood up, still carrying Robin, my eyes burning.

"Do you not want to do something worthwhile? Leave a legacy on this earth other than looking out for the number one? Do you want your existence to be just about yourself?"

"What legacy? What help? You guys stop criminals, but as I have noticed, they just KEEP COMING BACK."

"We prevent people from getting injured or killed!"

"And then they just die later on anyway!"

"That attitude is illogical!"

"No, it's how _life works. _Survival of the fittest. Your little crusade for justice? It's not about other people. It's about you. Keeping yourselves busy, or from feeling guilty or whatever. As far as I can tell, the kid does it because he's a control freak. He wants to stop bad stuff from happening, but hasn't accepted he can't! He hasn't accepted that he's not perfect! Me, I know who I am. And I'm fine with it. And I'm never giving it up. Never."

There was a silence. I realized I had never seen the X get angry or lose control. I looked down at Robin then back at X.

"If you are…fine with yourself…why do you wear a mask? Why do you…dress up?"

He did not seem to have an answer, but just stared at me.

"You are not so different from myself or Robin. But at least we know which side we are on. You cannot seem to make up your mind."

"I'm on my own side," Red X said quickly.

"If it were not for Robin today, you would be on the dead side. You may not admit it, but you need others. It is not just you alone," I said softly.

More silence seemed to separate us. I wondered what he was thinking as he continued to stare at me. I wondered if I could even guess.

"…Why are we even talking? We should be figuring a way out of here."

"The floor," I said simply.

"What?"

"The walls appear to be indestructible, but the floor is just the dirt. I could do the tunneling out."

"And you didn't mention this before…why?"

"It just occurred to me when you asked. Hold Robin. Do not drop him or you will be beaten unconscious." I handed Robin's prone body over.

"I never realized how nasty you could be under all that sweetness. Just an act, huh? Unless that was a come-on. Should Robin be jealous?"

He was back to the bantering again. Just like always. I ignored him and began to drill the tunnel with my power.

"How long is this going to take, because after twenty minutes he's going to start to be heavy…not all of us can be super strong warrior chicks!" Red X called after me as I drilled deeper and deeper. I sensed a change above ground, and punched a hole above me. Light shown through, I had made it to just outside the building.

I popped back up to our prison.

"I am done."

"Wow, that was quick." Red X handed Robin over to me and jumped in after me. "I have to hand it to you, you really saved the day today. When I first met you, I pegged you for a ditz. An incredibly hot ditz, but…"

"I am sure I would be insulted if I knew what a "ditz" was," I said shortly.

We soon reached the outside. I floated into the sunlight while X pulled himself up.

"So, you and your friends are going to come back to take these losers down?"

"Between the four of us, it shall be a work of brevity," I affirmed.

Red X nodded. "And he'll be fine?" He gestured at Robin.

"Yes, though it will be difficult ensuring he gets the proper amount of rest."

I looked away. "I do appreciate that you risked yourself to rescue him. If you do ever change your mind about heroes…do call."

I heard no answer and looked back to where he had been. There was nothing there but a messaged scratched in the dirt.

SEE YA, CUTIE.

"Hmmph." I kicked the dirt so the words became un-legible. "It really does stretch the belief he could do that so quickly."

I turned my back and began to fly towards the tower.


	36. Crossed Frequencies

Cyborg

Crossed Frequencies

"C'mon, Cyborg. Give it a rest already."

"BB, for the last time, I'm not gonna play video games with you right now. I've gotta track down Brother Blood."

Beast Boy groaned. He was perched on the computer console next to me as I typed furiously away.

"But you've been at it all MORNING. How do you expect to find him?"

"I'm keeping in touch with Aqualad and Bumblebee, they're tracking him."

"Why do they need you? Are they your new best friends now?" Beast Boy sulked. "I don't see the point. Brother Blood's gonna show himself soon enough when he hatches his next diabolical scheme, so why can't you just chill until he does?"

"What if people get hurt when he hatches his next diabolical scheme? We should do everything we can to catch him NOW."

"Yeah, but I don't think this is ABOUT you being worried about people's safety," Beast Boy said pointedly. He was really starting annoy me now.

"Oh yeah? Then what's it about, huh?"

"I don't know. But you've been acting weird ever since our mission with Aqualad. Now you won't hang out, plus you seem really upset with Robin."

"Well, I guess Robin is bothering me a little bit," I admitted.

"Why?" said Beast Boy flatly.

"Just…I mean, he orders me around like…and he's younger than me, but he acts like…c'mon, man, doesn't he ever annoy you?"

"Dude, all the freakin' time. But he's just Robin. He doesn't mean it, it's just how he is. He could be a lot worse, y'know."

I snorted. "I don't see how."

"Just trust me, okay? But he was just telling you what to do because he's our leader. What else is he supposed to do?"

"Yeah, well, sometimes I don't get why he's the leader. He doesn't have any powers, we could all take him down easily, if we didn't hold back."

"I dunno about that. He is really smart."

"So am I!" I said, offended. "I have an IQ of 170!"

"Um, is that good?"

"Never mind," I sighed. "It's just…he's unreliable sometimes…that whole thing with Slade…"

"That's over, dude. He got over it. Mostly. And so he's screwed up. So are most of us. Except me, of course, but that goes without saying," Beast Boy shrugged.

"Since when did you become Robin's number one fan?" I snapped.

"Since when did you decide you hate his guts but started imitating him?" Beast Boy snapped back.

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, c'mon. The obsessing over Blood. The brooding. You're acting just like him! What do you want to replace him or something?"

"That's ridiculous…" I sputtered. "I'm not…"

"Then stop it, and come play video games with me! Brooding is boring!"

"There's more to life than video games, BB! We've got a criminal out there!"

Beast Boy threw up his hands. "Whatever! I am so sick of this! Tell me when Cyborg comes back, okay?"

He stalked away and I glared after him. Stupid accusations. He was just trying to get me to gorge on junk food and play Ninja Fury with him. That's all life was to him."

I picked up the walky talky.

"Bumblebee? You read?"

The speaker crackled to life. "Yeah, Sparky. Chill, it's only been a half hour since you called. Though something interesting did happen. Y'know Brother Blood's heading east, either towards Gotham or Steel City. Hopefully the second, can't imagine what he'd get up to in Gotham. Aqualad ran into a friend, though, this red headed guy with a bow and arrow…"

"Speedy?" I exclaimed.

"Yeah, Aqualad said you knew him too. He's skipped out on his mentor as of a couple days ago, wants to join us. We're getting a pretty decent team here, I think we could actually take down Blood when he settles."

"Yeah, 'specially because as soon as he does, I'm coming up there to fight him with you guys," I said confidently.

"Really? Robin won't mind you leavin' the team?"

"Robin ain't the boss of me. And this thing with Blood is personal."

"Well, okay," Though I couldn't see Bumblebee, I imagined her shrugging. "Always good to have extra muscle. We'll call ya when we get there. Bumblebee out."

"'Bye," I set down the speaker just as Robin came in to make himself breakfast.

"What was that?" He asked.

"Bumblebee," I said shortly. "They're following Brother Blood. They met up with Speedy. Blood's heading to ei- Steel City." I nearly choked on the half truth. If it was Gotham Blood headed to, Robin would want to come, and he'd have a point. Nobody knows Gotham better. But I thought Blood would go for Steel City anyway, too much competition in Gotham. I hoped I was right. "I'm gonna go up and help them set up base."

I waited for Robin's reprimand.

He shrugged. "Okay. If that's what you really want."

"It is," I said sharply.

"But you'll come back after a few days?"

"Of course. Whenever you command, fearless leader," I couldn't keep the sarcastic edge out of my voice. I flinched as I remembered Beast Boy's little rant. Why WAS I acting like this.

Robin ignored my barb. "Are you okay? You seem agitated lately."

"I just wanna catch Blood."

"All right. Just don't…" he trailed off as I glared at him. We both knew he was the last person who should give advice on not being obsessive… "leave the computer on when you're through. Trying to save electricity."

"Okay." I said.

He turned his back, finished fixing his breakfast and disappeared into the dark hallway.

* * *

After our first day of fixing up the tower, the Titans East and I sat down in the half finished mess to eat the rest of the food Speedy bought. 

There was an awkward silence, and the source of it was not entirely Aqualad glaring at Speedy downing salmon.

"Sooo…" I broke the silence. "How'd y'all get into the hero biz?"

Everyone was quiet for few minutes. Finally, Speedy broke the silence.

"I was, uh, raised by the Navajo. Green Arrow found me…noticed my mad skills with the bow and arrow…rest's history."

"Why'd you leave?" I asked Speedy curiously.

"He was a jerk," Speedy said bluntly.

"Okay…"

Bumblebee scratched the back of her head, and for once looked solemn. "I….always had the shrinking ability…but a friend needed help…so I invented the lasers and the wings and some mild superstrength and invulnerability from the suit…and went to help him. When Brother Blood cam recruiting, I decided to go undercover…there wasn't…much for me at home."

"Dang, girl," I whistled. "I knew you were cocky, but you invented your weapons and suit by yourself? You must be pretty damn smart."

"And don't you forget it, Sparky," Bumblebee smirked.

"What about you, Aqualad?" Speedy asked.

"I was abandoned as a kid because of some prophecy that said I'd bring doom or something. Lots of kids ended up like that in that part of Atlantis, the Idilysts were kind of crazy. I didn't bring doom, but I had some nice powers, who knows why. That's why I survived, and met Aquaman. We've always worked with each other, but not necessarily sidekick and hero. So I'm my own man."

"Well, congrats," Speedy said sarcastically. "What about the twins? Oh wait, I forgot.

"Nacimos con siete veces la habilidad de ser mas rapido que el sonido, pero solo somos poderosos cuando nuestros cuerpos se rozan asi!" They said together.

"Yes, we know you were born with the ability. But how did you end up on your own?" Aqualad sighed.

"Que? No hablamos inglais," they said together again.

"Fine, don't tell us then," Bumblebee said. "What about you, Sparky?"

"Eh. Had an accident. Ended up like this. Joined the Teen Titans."

"Man of few words when it comes to YOUR past, huh?" Speedy smirked.

"Don't think I can't kick you butt, boy-with-funny-name-who-lost-to-Robin."

"Oh, shut up."

"And the drama erupts," Aqualad muttered. "I'll wash the dishes!"

He was done with in three seconds, and though somehow during the process Speedy's hair got splattered with dead fish remains.

* * *

"Cyborg? Shouldn't you be on your way home by now?" Robin sounded mildly annoyed. It irritated me, that he'd assume I'd come home as soon as he said when. Made it easier. 

"Robin, we got attacked by Blood. I'm staying."

"Oh. For a few more days?"

"No. Forever. They asked me to be team leader and I…said yes."

"WHAT?" The noise came not from Robin, but Beast Boy, who suddenly bounded over into the veiwscreen. "Dude, what?"

"Sorry, B. I…they need me here." The look of betrayal on BB's face made me feel guiltier than anything else could have done.

"But WE need you here! We don't even have that Cyborg robot anymore, since you broke it over at the HIVE."

"You sure do know how to make a guy feel wanted," I rolled my eyes.

"Why would you leave us? We're friends!" Beast Boy continued desperately.

"I really will miss you, Beast Boy, but it's about more than you. It's about being…my own person…helping the guys over here…being a leader…being a man…"

"So, basically, you've gone nuts and now think in clichés," he said, raising an eyebrow.

"What?"

"RAVEN! STAR! CY'S GONE NUTS AND DECIDED TO QUIT AGAIN! COME HELP STOP HIM!" Beast Boy screamed.

"What?" I heard Raven's voice chime.

"Pray tell this is not the truth!" Starfire's voice pierced through.

"Guys! GUYS!" Robin slid back into the view screen. "Stop it. I need to talk to him. We can't all come at him at once."

"Yeah, sure, you'll convince me better than Beast Boy would," I rolled my eye.

"Try to cut the anger for a second and talk about this logically," Robin snapped.

"Yeah, you don't sound angry at all," I could feel my dander rising so I began to work around the room, setting up the equipment while Robin gave a loud sigh, massaging his forehead.

"So," he said, and I could hear how his voice was suddenly controlled. "You want to leave us."

"Yup," I said shortly. All non-angry like this, he was starting to make me feel guilty like Beast Boy did.

"And there's nothing I can do to change your mind?"

"No, man."

_My mind is tired of people trying to control it._

* * *

I couldn't bring myself to go into sleep mode that night. I kept thinking about the most random things. Robin. Beast Boy. The team. Jinx. My mom. My dad. Brother Blood. Even my old girlfriend from high school popped up for some reason. 

_I'm losing a member of MY team._

_This Cyborg is way more fun!_

_CY'S GONE NUTS! COME HELP STOP HIM!_

_You could have been one of us._

_You're disappointing your father, Victor._

_You're disappointing me, Victor. You're wasting your life. You're going to be nothing if you keep going on like this. Nothing. Is that what you want?_

_Serve me and I can make you what you once were._

_C'mon Vic. Do what I want. C'mon. _

Everyone's already tried to control me. My Dad…Robin…I just want to make up my own mind. Be my own person. Be a leader instead of a follower.

What's wrong with that?

Nothing.

Nothing at all.

I switch off.

A/N: Next: ORIGINS OF TITANS EAST MEMBERS! In detail I mean


	37. Unsaid

A/N: Finally, the origins of Titans East! And as an explanation for Green Arrow's behavior in Speedy's part, I finally read that old comic where Speedy became a junkie (Good lord!) and here is an actual line from it.

Green Lantern: Do you think he's [Speedy been kidnapped?  
Green Arrow: I...haven't really noticed how long he's been gone. I've been having problems with Black Canary.

Wow. So that was where I got the idea for why Speedy could have gotten fed up.

Unsaid

Speedy

"I _was, uh, raised by the Navajo. Green Arrow found me…noticed my mad skills with the bow and arrow…rest's history."_

"_Why'd you leave?" _

"_He was a jerk."_

I can't really angst about my parents dying because I never really knew them. My dad died when I was two. I have no idea who my mom was. I guess I could find out if I really wanted to…but…I can't really see the point.

How did my dad die? He was a forest ranger, if you can believe that. We lived near an Indian reservation and one day, some loser set fire to it. My dad rushed in to rescue them all. He got most of them out, including the medicine man who'd been injured, but he went in looking for more of them, and a burning tree branch fell and knocked him out. So he burned to death.

The Navajo who lived there took me in after his death. The medicine man my dad rescued looked after me mostly. His name was Brave Bow, and it was well given. He was so brave and so renowned in archery that when the old chief died when I was five, he took his place.

I grew up there. And I liked it. It was a pretty poorly funded reservation, especially after the fire, but everyone there was like family. But Chief Brave Bow was the best. He was like my dad. He taught me everything the first ten years of my life. He was a very calm old guy, we hardly ever argued…well, that's not true. I argued. I was always very headstrong. Chief said it was because I felt I had something to prove, being the only non-Indian in the reservation, despite the fact nobody ostracized me because of it. Whenever I got into a fit, he'd sit there until I was all yelled out and told me he admired my passion. He was spiritually…balanced…or something. But he was no pushover. In the end, just a look from him could get me to do what he wanted. He'd say firmly "Put that passion into something productive." He commanded the room….and he taught me so much. He's the one who taught me how to string a bow…hit a target…

If there was one thing I loved most in the world, besides the Chief, it was archery. Chief said I was a natural. I could spend the whole day hitting targets. I couldn't concentrate on much, but for some reason, I could concentrate on a target. I was fast too, faster than almost anyone with a bow. Faster even than Chief, though he was a steadier aim.

We were always trying to get more funding on the reservation. Not many people know about how I feel about the Navajo, but don't get me started on how we- sorry, they- got screwed over back in the day, and sometimes, today too. We certainly did.

One day, there was going to be an archery contest in a town not far from the reservation. There was a five hundred dollar cash reward. I knew I could kick those rich white kids asses down there. Brave Bow didn't want me to go, said it was unfair to the others, but they didn't need the money as badly as we did.

The judges were these archery champions, and this random rich guy, Oliver Queen. The place had been his hometown, and he'd dropped by, coincidentally around the time the town had started to make national news for the two that had happened over an area of two weeks.

I won all the first five rounds like cake. The last one was against this kid who was going for the Olympics. He was damn good, but I knew I was better. Ollie Queen handed me my arrow. I thought it was a little heavy. We both strung out bows…and shot at the same time.

I missed the bulls eye by two stripes. The other kid got one stripe off.

I knew I had aimed right. I knew I would have been able to get a bullseye.

"…the HELL?" I cried loudly as the yuppies cheered on the other putz. "What the hell…? I had that shot! There's no way…no way…you! You! You with the beard!" I rounded on Oliver Queen, who was smiling pleasantly in his stupid suit. "You weighted that goddamn arrow! I know you did!

"Now, son…Oliver Queen is a VERY well respected man…don't make accusations…" One of the judges said through a cheesy, strained smile.

"He DID!" I ran to pick up the arrow. "He…what?"

The arrow wasn't heavy anymore. The judge came over and felt it.

"Doesn't feel weighted to me, son…"

"But…but…"

"That's all right, Harry," Queen came over and patted the judge on the shoulder. "No harm done."

The judge walked away as I glared up at Queen, who beamed back. "What's your name, boy? Roy…"

"Harper," I snapped.

"You're from the Indian reservation? Would you like to come with me?"

"Um…NO. I know you weighted that arrow! I don't know how but you did! It may not seem like much to a rich…PERSON like you, but the reservation needed that money…so, no way am I talking to you!" I began to stomp away, but Oliver Queen called to me.

"I was actually thinking of funding the reservation. If I can talk to you about it."

I turned around slowly. "Really?"

"Yeah."

"Well. Okay. Where?"

"Just for a drive."

I know now that if Ollie hadn't been who he was, I probably would have gotten kidnapped or worse, randomly riding with rich strangers like that, but I wasn't very hip to that sort of stuff back then, so I got in the car, which was the fanciest automobile I'd ever seen.

We drove deep into the city and I told Ollie all about the reservation, even though he seemed to be concentrating on something else. I was beginning to get the feeling this was a bad idea. I was about to ask him what his deal was when we stopped suddenly.

"Listen," he muttered.

I noticed we were well out of town. We were by a secluded area, sort of the outskirts of the city. I could see the vague silhouettes of three people. Then I heard the scream

It happened so quickly. My eyes focused and I suddenly saw the three people were two girls and a guy. The guy was holding a blonde's arms as she struggled to get away, and the other was about to slit the blonde's throat.

I grabbed the bow. There was no thinking involved, the bow was in my lap and I was holding the "weighted" arrow from earlier. It took me less than a second to string and shoot.

The target was more than fifty feet away, but I hit it right where it was supposed to be, in the girls arm, away from any major arteries, but it made her drop the knife. The blonde headbutted the guy holding her in the nose and broke free, running in the direction of the town as the would-be-murderess began screaming bloody murder. Sirens sounded in the distance, I looked over to see Queen had dialed 911 on his cell phone. Had he been talking in it? I hadn't even heard his voice. I was just staring at my bow, not completely sure what has just happened.

We sped away. I didn't question why at the time. I didn't even think to ask why Oliver Queen has a bow of his own in his lap.

When we got back into town he said, "That was some nice work. You strung that arrow faster than I did. You're pretty speedy."

"What? What just happened?"

"Roy, what happened is you just made a nearly impossible shot that bagged the murderer that's been tearing this town apart."

"I…what are you talking about? Those two murders…on TV…we saw at the reservation…"

"You have TV there?"

"Of course we do, you ass. And those two murders were arson, not what we saw back there. And I noticed they were both minorities, too, and that girl was Caucasian."

"Oh…my God…you're right! How did I not notice that?" Queen slapped himself in the forehead. "Idiot! The murders had both been on Fridays too, so I was sure it was tonight…well, of course, it's good we saved that girl…"

That's when I saw it. The smoke. Coming from the reservation.

"Drive!" I screamed. "DRIVE!"

Ollie saw what I was pointing at and stepped on the gas. We were at the reservation in three minutes, and I jumped out of the car with my bow and arrow before the car even rolled to the stop in front of the blazing forest. To my relief, all of the reservation was outside the forest, near the cabin my dad used to live. All but two.

" Where are Brave Bow and Kai? "I asked Kaliska, one of my friends in the tribe, in Navajo.

" Brave Bow went back to rescue Kai. Roy, where are you going? Wait! " she cried, as I began to charge into the flaming forest. She and Oliver Queen both grabbed me.

"Let go of me!" I screamed.

"Roy! I see someone coming!" Ollie said.

Kai stumbled out of the forest. She was badly burned and crying.

The tribe converged on her. As glad as I was to see Kai alive, I couldn't help screaming.

" Kai! Kai! Where's Brave Bow? "

" H-He tripped! " She sobbed. " He came back to save me, and we were almost out, almost out, and he tripped and he told me to go and I saw him catch and fire and it was horrible and I ran and I ran and…and…and… 

She broke down into sobbing, and they took her away. I just stood there, staring at the blazing forest that had consumed Brave Bow just like it had consumed by father, tears streaming silently down my cheeks. I didn't even notice Oliver Queen's hand leave my shoulder as he ran away into the night.

Late the next morning I was still in the hospital waiting room, not knowing quite what to do as fellow members of the reservation were treated, when Oliver Queen came in and sat down beside me.

"They, uh, caught the guy who did it. He was sick. In the head, I mean. He'd lost all his money recently and gone off his medication. Was doing dome sort of "ethnic cleansing" thing. He confessed to being responsible for the fire eight years ago as well, another time he went off those meds…I thought you'd want to know."

"When you say "they" caught the guy, you mean you, right?" I said bluntly, not looking at him. "You're some sort of bow and arrow crime fighter."

Ollie sighed. "Yeah. I'm the Green Arrow."

"That's a horrible name."

"I was never very good at names. Look, you were right. I did weight your arrow in that contest. It's just…everyone seemed to be getting sidekicks these days, and I wanted…someone to talk to…so I was thinking of taking on a kid partner…and you seemed perfect…but I thought "If he wins against this Olympics kid, he'll never have a shot at having a secret ID…" and the car ride…well, I didn't expect this to happen. I'm sorry. I can't help but feel like it's my fault."

"The only person who's fault it is was the crazy guy who torched the place," I said softly. "Stupid criminals."

We sat in silence for a long time. I had a feeling I knew what he was going to ask me.

"So. I've got…some money…I was going to build your tribe a new reservation, privately funded by me. You can live there, if you want. Or you can come with me and…"

"…Help you fight crime?"

"No pressure. You could live with me in my mansion in Star City. I have a rule about no killing…but I noticed you seemed to be into that yourself, aiming for that girls arm, away from arteries…"

"Chief didn't believe in killing."

"Well…"

I didn't just want to sit in a reservation for the rest of my life. I wanted to do something. I wanted to be a hero. Like Brave Bow. Like my dad. I looked over at Ollie. He looked back.

"So…" I said. "A mansion, huh?"

Thus began our dynamic duo. "Speedy" started out as a nickname Ollie would call me because I was faster to string a bow than him, like the first crook we stopped I got, and he high fived me and said "Good going, speedy!" so loudly the whole block heard. After that, it sort of evolved into my codename. Like we established earlier, Ollie really sucks at picking out names.

For what he lacked in speed, Ollie made up for with better accuracy than even Brave Bow. He also knew a heck of a lot about martial arts, and taught me new moves every night.

Living with Ollie was an adjustment though. I was used to the patient ways of Brave Bow, but Ollie was energetic, impatient and had a temper that rivaled mine. We were too similar, and clashed a lot.

Ollie was also impulsive. Three years after he took me in, he lost most of his money on the stock market. We had to move into a slum in the bad part of the city and Green Arrow was very dramatic about it. Not in that he whined about it, it was the opposite. Now that he could "relate" to the poor, he saw himself as a gritty avenger of the streets. He seemed to be really, really proud we had stupidly lost out money. It was no big deal to me, though.

Ollie had never paid much attention to me outside crime fighting. It got lonely, especially when I remembered how Brave Bow had always gone everywhere with me, but I was able to grin and bear it. Sometimes, I felt being around him made me into a worse person, making the bad traits I already possessed- self-absorption, a bad temper…even worse. But rarely would I ponder such things.

Then one day, I got whisked away to the tournament of heroes.

It has been a regular Saturday afternoon. Ollie and I were eating dinner together for once, and as usual, he was complaining about his relationship with some woman. Actually, Dinah Lance was really the first woman Ollie had been with he really cared for. She was a fellow superhero for one. But this didn't stop him from complaining. A lot.

"And then she tells me she isn't gonna call me anymore, just cuz I punched this lush out!"

"Well, why did you do it?" I said.

"He was making a pass at her!"

"So? Drunk people do stuff like that."

"A pass! In front of me!"

"I mean, it's not like Dinah can't take care of herself. She's better at martial arts than you are AND she has that Canary cry thing."

"You always side with her!"

"That's because she's better at you than everything."

"She is not!"

"Well, not archery. And you're a better cook. But besides that…."

Ollie stabbed at his food viciously. "Why don't you go patrol the streets for crime or something, huh?"

"Better than listening to you whine about Black Canary for the millionth time…"

I put the dishes away, and suited up. I was about to jump out the window dramatically and go fight crime, when suddenly I heard a loud zapping sound. And then the tournament of heroes happened, yadda yadda yadda, I was awesome, so what if Robin beat me, that's just because he's all weird and driven, plus I made him feel guilty about it with ONE SENTENCE before monkeyguy absorbed me into his jewel, now that's talent…where was I? Oh, yeah. Completely pointless tournament of heroes, but I got a nice communicator out of it. Next thing I know, I was a couple blocks away from Ollie's little slum. A little outside where I was targeting to land, but close enough.

Ha! Wait until I tell Ollie I'm an honorary Teen Titan!

I started to turn around, but suddenly, there was pain.

And then darkness.

And then…nothing.

When I woke up, I was on a cold, hard concrete floor with my hands ties behind my back. The first thing I noticed besides that was my bow and arrows were gone. No doubt I was in trouble here. I struggled up and took a look around. All I could see was pitch black. But I felt cold and gray, so I was guessing this was a dungeon cell or something. Great. This sucked. The only thing I could do was try to figure out where the door was, and it was probably locked.

I stumbled up, though moving made my head throb. God, I'd been hard. Whoever knocked me out was strong. Out of one prison, into another, I found the wall, and began rubbing along, rubbing my body against the cold stone. It made me feel exceedingly silly, but eventually I felt a crack and then a change in texture, and knew that was a door. Okay, time to use my mad skills. Maybe I could kick it down.

Hop back…hop back anddddddd…KICK! I heard the thump of my boot against the door a second before pain traveled up my leg and I fell back, gritting my teeth to keep from howling. I heard laughter from somewhere, echoing off the walls.

"Who's there?" I screamed.

"Do you want to know how long you've been out?" the voice chuckled.

I recognized it.

"Merlyn!" He was one of Green Arrow's greatest enemies, and a master archer as well. I stumbled up, and leaned on the door to take pressure off my smarting ankle.

"Two days. That's how long. And Green Arrow still hasn't come looking for you. And as we reside in the same city, I should be exceedingly easy to find. I'm in the place where you two last captured me!

He was still in that stupid archery museum? He's right, that IS pathetically easy to find.

"The only explanation I can think of is Green Arrow hasn't noticed you're gone…or doesn't care."

"You're lying! I bet I've only been out for five minutes." But my stomach was aching very much like a person who hadn't eaten in two days. And my stomach is very accurate, usually.

"I thought when you appeared in front of me like that on the street, I was the luckiest man in the world," Merlyn continued. "I knocked you out, took you here and waited for the Emerald Archer to come rescue you! The perfect trap, I thought! But apparently he doesn't care about you at all! I have to say this amuses me almost as much as the thought of my foe's death!"

Another peal of raucous laughter. Ollie must be in some kind of trouble, I decided, and that's why he didn't come. I'd better get out and help him.

"Tell you what, Boy Bowman," Merlyn finally stopped laughing. "I feel sorry for you, How about joining me? I promise, I always notice if my sidekicks go missing for two days."

"Not going to happen," I snapped.

"Yeah, I had a feeling. Well, how about this: I'm going to let you out. If you can get out of this museum without me killing you, you can leave. I'm bored anyway, there's not anything good on TV today."

That's the thing that's great about being a superhero, villains tend to be too melodramatic to shoot you in the head and get it over with.

"'Kay, deal."

"This will be fun."

And the door I was leaning on suddenly opened. I stumbled out, tripped and fell. Arrows flew at me immediately. I rolled out of the way, but one scratched my side painfully. I jumped up, grabbing a fallen arrow between my fingers. Barely avoiding more flying arrows, I managed to jump behind a statue of William Tell, which shielded me while I used the fallen arrow to saw my bonds open. When my hands were free, I peered from behind the statue and saw Merlyn by the entrance. I barely popped my head back behind the statue before an arrow flew straight through where it had been. His aim was excellent, and I was unarmed. How was I going to make it? Ummmm….

I pushed the statue in front of me, slowly moving forward so it acted as my shield. I heard Merlyn's annoying laugh, and too late saw an arrow arc around the statue and this time it went right into my shoulder. I cried out in pain and fell to my knees.

The next thing I knew, Merlyn was right above me, his bow pointed directly at my heart. He loosed the arrow and somehow I caught it with my good arm before it hit my heart, though it took skin off my hand. Then I kicked out, breaking his bow in half.

He finally stopped laughing. With a howl of rage he threw himself on top of me, punching me in the face over and over again. Through the pain, I remembered the arrow I still held in my hand. While he was distracted pounding on my face, I swung my arm out from under Merlyn, and stabbed him in the side with the arrow.

He rolled off me, howling in pain, and in two seconds I was up and running, all the way to the entrance.

"Go then! Go! Go back to your mentor who doesn't give a damn about you, you little-" Merlyn called after me, but I ignored him. I kept running. I ran without stopping all the way to Ollie's house and burst in.

Ollie was eating breakfast. Eggs.

He looked up at my entrance.

"There you are, Roy, haven't seen you in a- oh my God! What HAPPENED to you?" He stood up.

I stood there, stunned. "Merlyn was right. You didn't care. You didn't notice I was gone."

"Merlyn? Did he stick that arrow in your shoulder? I need to take you to the hosp-"

"Four days. I was gone four days. You didn't notice. You didn't care." I continued to stare.

"I'm sorry, Roy! I thought you were at school or crime fighting…"

"It's summer VACATION," I growled.

"Oh. I'm really sorry…I've been having problems with Dinah…"

"Problems. With. Dinah. I was kidnapped, forced to fight other teen heroes, kidnapped again, knocked out for two days, beaten up and shot with an arrow by your archenemy. But you didn't notice because YOU were having PROBLEMS with your girlfriend?" I screamed.

"I said I was sorry! Look, you're losing a lot of blood."

"Oh, don't worry about it. You can go hang out with Dinah if it's bothering you!"

"Roy, for the last time, I'm SORRY! How the hell was I supposed to know this was happening?" He was getting angry. Like he had a RIGHT to be angry.

"The last time you saw me, I was going off to fight crime," I said in a voice of forced calm. "You didn't even consider something could have happened to me out there?"

"Well, I-

"Merlyn's right. You don't give a damn about me."

"Roy, you're old enough to take care of yourself!" Ollie snapped with a flushed face.

"I've been old enough to take care of myself since I was ten, thanks to you!" I shouted.

"What?"

"I should have died with Brave Bow! I should have been there! Maybe I could have stopped the arsonist! But thanks to your little 'training' session, I wasn't there! Hell, it's your fault the guy wasn't in jail! You were supposed to catch the murderer but couldn't even remember his damn mode of operation! It's your fault Brave Bow died, and my fault for trusting you!"

It was like these thoughts had been lurking in the back of my brain forever, this anger, and I hadn't known it until now. And now it was out.

Ollie stared. "But you said…that day…That's…that's…not true."

"You know it is," I said, and I pulled the arrow out of my shoulder. (Now that I think about it, I was very lucky I didn't break off the shaft in my wound when I did that. It wasn't a good idea, period, really, because as soon as I did it, I immediately started bleeding more.)

Then I broke the arrow in half, dropping it on the breakfast table in disgust.

"What the hell was that?" Ollie asked.

"That was SYMBOLIC!" I retorted. "I quit!"

I stomped up the stairs, got together a bag of things, including a huge supply of bows and arrows, a bunch of extra costumes and some money. I also fixed up and bandaged my arm. Looking in the mirror, I saw my face was half swollen from Merlyn's beating, which is a shame because I really am extremely handsome, but it would heal soon enough.

When I got downstairs, Ollie was still in the same spot, looking befuddled. "Roy, I-

"Shut up. There's nothing you can say." I snapped.

"FINE!" Ollie called after me angrily as I walked out the door. "You'll come back anyway! I know you will!"

"Don't count on it," I muttered.

I could feel angry tears welling up, but I blinked them back. Halfway through the city, I ran into a couple of kids who were, in fact, so stupid they were doing heroin on a park bench.

"Hey!" I called. The kids saw me coming, beat up and armed, and bolted, leaving their needles and stuff behind.

I went over and picked up a needle. My shoulder was killing me. I wonder if drugs help pain…any pain…I bet that's why people like them. Even though it only for a little while, they take away the hurt. Even though only for a little while, they make you not care.

I wish, just once, I could not care.

I stared at the needle in my hand for a long time.

Then…

"Oh, screw this," I snapped. "If I'm thinking about this crap, I need to get out of here."

I threw the needle down to the ground, hard.

"That was symbolic," I muttered, and I headed out of Star City. My destination: anywhere but where I was now.

* * *

Bumblebee

"_I…always had the shrinking ability…but a friend needed help…so I invented the lasers and the wings and some mild superstrength and invulnerability from the suit…and went to help him. When Brother Blood came recruiting, I decided to go undercover…there wasn't…much for me at home_."

Say there was this girl once. Say her mother had been a brilliant scientist and smarter and more beautiful than the girl could ever hope to be. Say her mother was the earth, and the girl was the moon, orbiting around it. Or that her mother was the sun, and the girl was a little flower soaking up her light, hoping for it to strengthen her.

Say one day the earth fell. Say one day the sun went out. And everything, everything was dark. And cold. And lonely.

Say the girl's mother died.

The girl's father was plunged into the darkness in an instant. From that day on, it was like he was a zombie. He went to work, and he came home, and he watched TV. The end. That was it. The girl could have been in the house alone.

The only way for the girl to claw her way out of the dark was to hold onto a little bit of light…rays of sun her mother left behind. Her work. All her brilliant work and theories and science that was left in the basement…. Cutting edge stuff, formulas and plans for technology that could make you stronger and freer and more powerful. Stuff the mother never got to finish. But the girl, she thought she could finish it, maybe. That if she held onto the dying sunlight enough, she could begin to shine on her own.

So the girl worked every night on the project. She knew she could do it. She had always been smart. Her mother had said the girl was…special. The girl could do something no one else did…she could make herself small. So small, she could go by unnoticed. Her mother had been fascinated. Despite this, she had never subjected her daughter to any invasive experiments, despite the fact the girl knew she desperately wanted to. But she didn't want to hurt her daughter.

The girl had always remembered that.

After two years without the sun above her and the earth beneath her, the girl was getting close to recapturing it. She was almost finished with the work. She was happy when she was working…but when she was around her father…or in school…she felt so small. She had to check, every day to make sure she just wasn't accidentally shrinking. Sometimes, when she practiced shrinking (she did it in front of the mirror every day…like she used to do for her mother) she secretly wanted to blink out of existence. But she had to make her mother proud.

And life became more worthwhile when she made a friend one day. His name was Matt.

"Um…hi. Is this seat taken?"

"Wha-?" she looked up from her book on molecular biology to see a tall boy with coffee colored skin smiling at her.

"I was just wondering if it was okay to sit with you. This whole lunch table is empty, so…"

"Whatever you want," she said shortly, hiding her shock. Other kids tended to stay away from her, normally because she was always so focused on "the project". They thought she was weird.

He sat down. "My name's Matt."

"I'm Karen Beecher." She said. She really wanted to get back to her book.

"So…molecular biology."

"Mmm-hmmm."

"Don't know much about it myself."

_What a surprise._ Was this kid new or something? Yes, he was that kid from Ohio who transferred here last week.

"Pretty big school. Bigger than in Ohio," he said casually.

"Uh huh." _Please go away. _

"It makes me feel…small, y'know. All these kids."

"Wait, what?" she said.

"Oh, it's stupid. I…was just saying I feel small a lot. Here. Silly, huh?"

"No…I…I feel that way too…" she marveled.

"Really?"

And so Matt and the girl became friends, and he joined her search for the sun and the earth. Ever since her mother died, the girl had not been able to talk to anyone, but she could talk to Matt. He knew about her quest to finish her mother's work. He would listen to her talk about it, though he didn't understand what she said. But he listened. But he also longed. He tried to make friends with kids much higher on the social ladder than the girl. But it backfired. He refused to cooperate in something they did (from the way he talked, the girl got the feeling he had refused to sell drugs) and the guys came after him. And it wasn't just for a chat.

"Oh God."

"What's wrong, Matt? I've gotta get home." She checked her watch wearily. She was doing what she did every day, walking Matt to her car so she could give him a ride home, then she would head home, fix her dad dinner, finish her homework in like, thirty seconds and go to work in the basement.

"Here they come."

"They? You mean-?"

"Yeah."

She looked over her shoulder. "Just two guys. Not very big, either of them."

"What, are you saying I should be able to take them? Because I can't, Karen."

"I wasn't talking about you."

She turned around to face the boys, standing up ramrod straight.

"What's going on?"

"We need to talk to your friend," one guy said smoothly.

"Yeah? Well, he doesn't wanna talk, 'kay, Spike?"

"Karen," Matt hissed. "Stop it, you'll get hurt, just get out of here…"

"Shut up, Matt. Let me handle this."

"Get out of the way, girl," the second guy, the one with spiky hair, growled. "You can't protect him."

"You have five seconds to back off," she snapped.

The guy with the buzz cut attempted to push her out of the way to get to Matt.

"Okay, that's five," she before grabbing his head and smashing it directly into her upraised knee. She shoved him into his buddy and grabbed Matt's hand.

"RUN!"

They ran. The boys began to catch up with them soon enough, but not before she reached her car, jumped in dragging Matt with her, put the key in the ignition and motored out of there.

"Whoa!" Matt gasped. "Karen, I had no idea how hardcore you were."

He was her best friend, but she didn't tell him about how her dad had been a self-defense nut before her mother had died and he became a zombie, and all the lessons their family took together. She just kept driving.

Two weeks later, she finished it. Her mothers dream finally realized. At long last. Tears of happiness streamed down her cheeks.

The bracelets, which she modeled after Wonder Woman's (she was a geek, she admitted it) gave her enhanced strength. The wings allowed you to fly as high and far as you wanted to. And the lasers…were her favorite. She'd always had a thing for electricity.

She sat there, filled with joy, imagining how proud her mother would be,

But as soon as she imagined her mother's face, the joy deflated. She didn't think it was possible. Karen thought…if she finished it, she'd stop missing her mother. Stop feeling…empty and useless… and small.

But…she did. Who was she going to tell? Her father? He was asleep upstairs now. This invention wouldn't magically make him better… she knew that. What was she going to do with the stuff? Patent it? Sell it? It all felt so…mundane. What was if useful for? What had her mother been planning to do once she finished?

And she found herself crying. This time, tears of sadness. She didn't even know why. She should be happy! She should have felt the earth under her feet and the heat of the sun returned and…

Her cell phone rang. It was Matt. That was it, she'd tell Matt! Maybe he'd be able to cheer her up!

She flipped her phone open.

"Matt, you won't believe it, I-!"

"Karen! Karen, they're after me, oh GOD, Karen, they're going to kill me!"

"What? Matt, why would they kill you? Just because you won't sell their drugs?"

"YES, dammit, they're crazy! They broke into my HOUSE! I'm on the run! You have to help me!"

"I'll call the police-"

"NO, you can't! They're in on it!"

"What?"

"Please, Karen, there's nothing you can do…it's all my fault…"

"What? It's not your fault, why are you…?"

"I just wanted to say goodbye. So goodbye, Karen, okay? Goodbye. I'm sorry."

"Matt, WAIT!"

But he'd already hung up. She stared at the phone. What could she do? She should call the police. But Matt said they were in on it…whatever "it" was…and even if they weren't they might not get there in time. But what could she do?

It was like she was losing everything.

She looked miserably around the lab. And then it dawned on her. The obvious. The bracelets…the lasers…the wings…she could use them to help Matt! This was what she'd created them for, this was what her mother would have wanted!

She was in a skirt, sandals and a T-shirt…that wouldn't do for fighting. Her mother had some old clothes in the basement. Quickly as she could, she found some black stretch pants and a top. The top fitted her a little snug, but that was all right. The only shoes she could find were some heels, but she'd be flying anyway, and they'd make her kicks even more painful. And finally, she put on the bracelets, clipped the lasers to her pants, and strapped on her wings.

She was out of the house in two minutes.

She flew high over the town, too anxious to even enjoy the feeling of soaring through the sky. Fortunately, she found Matt rather quickly. Two guys and one girl were chasing him. They had guns. She swooped down, and the element of surprise let her grab the guns out of the guy's hands. The lone girl with a ski cap turned quickly with her gun pointed, but she was able to kick the weapon out of hat-girl's hand. The boys, after a second of nonplussed staring, tried to attack her, but with one punch, she downed both of them. The bracelets really worked!

Karen kicked the girl in the ski cap in the stomach and the assailant doubled over.

"K-Karen? Is that you?" Matt was still standing on the sidewalk.

"Matt! Are you okay?" She ran to hug him.

"Yuh-yeah…"

"I finished my mother's invention's, isn't it great?"

"I…, look out!"

Karen spun around, letting go of Matt. The girl in the gang had gotten her bearings, and retrieved her gun.

"I don't know what kind of superfreak you are, but this boy owes us money," the ski-cap girl said with gritted teeth.

"Money? What's she talkin' about, Matt?"

"Karen…I… I'm sorry…I lied to you…"

"And you lied to me," said the ski-cap girl.

Karen heard a click and without thinking, grabbed the laser from her belt and zapped her assailant's hand with a burst of electricity. The girl dropped the gun, clutching her hand, and Karen nailed her with the knockout punch she'd used earlier.

She watched the unconscious girl for a minute, her breath misting the air.

She turned to Matt.

"You lied to me."

"I…Well, I wasn't selling drugs…"

"Just buying them. And not paying. Show me your pockets."

Matt sheepishly took some small bags of cocaine out of his jeans.

"Karen…I…you saved my life…I'm sorry…"

"Save it. I feel so stupid." She turned away from him and looked up at the night sky. Stars winked back at her. "…And small."

"Karen…"

But she was shrinking. Shrinking smaller and smaller, until Matt could have squashed her like a bug if he wanted too. But he just stared in shock as she buzzed away into the night.

The next few days, Karen stayed home from school. Her dad didn't notice. Without exactly knowing why, she went to work sewing on her Mom's old clothes. She modified her top so it was striped yellow and black and cut holes into the too-long stretch pants so they hooked onto her heels. She modified the lasers so they were shaped like B's. Her Mom's name had been Beatrice, but really, Karen wanted them to match her new top and her wings.

She was a bug smashed on a windshield. Might as well be a Bumblebee and get some nectar along the way.

One night, she was cooking dinner for her sleeping father when she heard a news report. Something about a guy who seemed to be taking in young superpowered kids and exerting some sort of control over them. Right near her town , too.

"Control, huh? Let's see how well he controls me," she said to herself.

She left a note for her dad and took her…personal effects.

After all, every girl has to find her way to shine.

* * *

Aqualad

_"I was abandoned as a kid because of some prophecy that said I'd bring doom or something. Lots of kids ended up like that in that part of Atlantis, the Idilysts were kind of crazy. I didn't bring doom, but I had some nice powers, who knows why. That's why I survived, and met Aquaman. We've always worked with each other, but not necessarily sidekick and hero. So I'm my own man." _

_Rock-a-bye baby…_

_At the bottom of the sea…_

_With any luck…_

_You won't die too slowly…_

That song is my earliest memory. I don't know who sang it or where…I just remember it being there…

After that, it's just me…and the water…

The water bought me food. The water bought me sustenance…and sleep…and care.

It spoke a language I understood as I grew. It sang to me, and it did whatever I wanted…

We were happy, the water and I…

Until the giant seahorse invaded.

"AGHHHHHH!"

The huge pink creature framed the entrance of my cave. There was something on it as well, something built like I was, only large with yellow hair. But he didn't scare me as much as the fish.

I wanted it to go away I wanted it to go away SO BADLY.

And then my prayers were answered. It gently bucked the blonde guy and retreated.

"Smoky, where are you-oh, what?"

I couldn't understand what the blonde man was saying. I didn't remember words back then…

"You have telepathy, boy? You communicated with Smoky? I've never met an Atlantean outside my kingdom that could- what's wrong?"

His voice was scaring me. I retreated to the back of the cave, shaking.

"Hello, can you…can you…your eyes…great…Neptune! You're an abandoned Idylist child!"

Goawaygoawaygoaway…

Suddenly thoughts floated into my head. Thoughts like water, flowing moving changing…showing me what they meant through the way the moved …I understood them. They came from the yellow haired man.

_I'm not going to hurt you. I want to take you home, where it is much nicer._

I believed him. Somehow, I trusted him.

I let him take my hand. He turned and I could tell he was about to call the pink monster back.

I shook my head, trembling, tugging at his hand.

"No Smoky? Okay. You'll get used to him later."

He took me home to his palace where there was food and warmth and love. He taught me to speak through telepathy. The only thing he couldn't teach me was not to be afraid of fish. They scared me so badly, ESPECIALLY when I heard their voices in my head. I didn't like the voices, they were like water, but solid. And slimy. And that was wrong.

My isolation for the first four years of my life had made me into a bit of loner. I liked to go outside of the palace, and sit in the quiet spots of the city. As long as I didn't run into any fish, I could sit for hours, just thinking.

My guardian, King Arthur, was also Aquaman, a super tough hero who fought for Atlantis on the surface world. He had powers like me, only he couldn't control water. Actually, I'd never told him about how I talked to the water or how I made it move for me. I'm not sure why. Maybe because I could tell he wanted me to fight crime with him, and I was just content being me.

One day, I was sitting in the park and these two mermen floated by me, arguing. They didn't seem to notice me. That happened to me a lot.

"…We'll need a mechanic if we're going to pull the job."

"What about Tramm?"

"He'd never do it."

"He won't have a choice. And after that, we'll make sure he never tells out dirty little secret."

"Okay, we'll have to go get him now though."

I was nonplussed as I watched the men float on. This sort of exciting stuff never happened to me! Well, it looked like Tramm was in danger, whoever he was. I'd follow these two men to see where Tramm was, then I'd call the Atlantean guard, or Aquaman.

It was pretty easy following the mermen, they weren't the most attentive pair. Soon they reached a house, that appeared to be made from spare parts and tin cans dropped in the ocean by surface dwellers. Weird.

The two men opened to door.

"Hey, Tramm. Trident gave us a job to do, and our rides totaled." The first guy said.

I heard some babbling from Tramm, but I could also hear his thoughts. His…slimy…fish…thoughts.

" _Trident's a loser. I'm not doing anything for you two." _

Augh! Tramm was part fish! Slimy…slimy…fish…

I had to get out of here, or else I was going to throw up. The smell… But the other guy was drawing a water missile gun, to "convince" Tramm probably. Agh, he was aiming for Tramm's knee, I wouldn't be able to get Aquaman in time…! But Tramm was just a fish…but he could feel and think just like me…I couldn't just…WATER DO SOMETHING!

And the water around them catapulted the bad guys straight up. Tramm looked over at me in shock.

"RUN!" I screamed. "NO, WAIT, NOT TOWARDS ME!"

But it was too late. I bolted, and Tramm bolted after me.

"_Wait, who are you? What's your problem?" _

"_GO AWAY! AGH FISH SLIMY!"_

"_Huh?"_

"_FISH! I HATE FISH!"_

"_How can you hear my thoughts? Hey, wait! You're that kid that hangs around the King. That aqua…lad."_

"_Aqualad?"_

"_Useless peons! Never again will I allow others to do my work for me! No one can live up to my perfection!"_

"_That was a weird thing to think."_

"_That wasn't me! It was…"_

I crashed into a scaly wall before Tramm could finish his thought. In fact, it wasn't a wall it was a big reptilian…guy with yellow eyes.

"Ah! I was planning on those fools helping me assassinate King Arthur, but now I have his son as bait, he will come to me! Witness my excellence!"

The reptile's scaly hand grabbed me by the throat, and lifted me up. I struggled to breathe, but I couldn't suck in any water.

[I _"Hold on, kid from Atlantis! I'll save you[/I _Tramm tugged uselessly at Trident's vast arm.

[I _My…name…is…Garth[/I _I couldn't concentrate; I couldn't speak to the water… my head ached so badly…

"Fool!" The reptilian monster shook Tramm off easily. "I am perfection! I am excellence! I am Trident! And now I have the King's son for my own! TO MY SUBMARINE!"

Tramm attempted to follow Trident but was stabbed with his…well…trident. I could feel Tramm's consciousness blinking out as he fainted, and it hurt. It was like I'd gotten used to his thoughts, slimy as they were.

Trident dragged me into a submarine and threw me in the brig. Inside here there was nothing but air. No water for me to control. Wasn't powerful enough to make the water crush the sub from the outside…

"Yes! Behold, my greatest plan yet! Trident victorious!" The megalomaniac ranted as he turned on his sub. "I am truly a specimen of grandeur! This filthy Idylist cannot compete!"

"Filthy…what?" I coughed.

"Idylist, boy, Idylist. I can tell of your mongrel heritage because of your unusual eyes."

"What's an Idylist?"

Trident stopped, and turned around as the sub floated upward. "You mean, you do not know? Tell me, boy. Can you control the water?"

"Yuh-yeah, how'd you-?"

"Ah HA! So, Aquaman never told you of your origins, little Aqua lad? Did not wish to trouble you perhaps?"

"Why do people keep calling me Aqualad? My name is Garth! What about my origins?" I snapped.

"Boy, don't you know that every Idylist born with the ability to control water, as quite a few of them are, is left to die at the bottom of the sea? The Idylist is a traditional race, and believe those with strange powers are cursed! Not like myself, I rely on science! But that is because I am-

"Perfect. Yeah, I know," I said, unnerved. So that was how it happened. That song I remembered…my mother had sung it, I knew that now. Was the song some sort of sick Idylist tradition? I wondered if they were still alive. My parents.

"Was that sarcasm, boy? Backsass? Do you not believe Trident is better than you in every way? Perhaps you need a lesson…a painful one!" Trident threatened me with his weapon. I shrank back as he moved forward. How did I get into this?

Suddenly there was crashing noise and the submarine stopped dead.

"What the-?" Trident muttered.

Then the whole ship fell apart around us.

Next thing I knew, I was dropping through the water, along with a lot of debris. The weight of my cage kept me from swimming instead of falling, and I banged painfully against the bars. Suddenly, Tramm was floating along beside me with a tool belt.

_Hold on, Garth!_

It was about a second before Tramm pried the door open and pulled me out. My cage crashed to the bottom of the sea.

"_You saved me!"_ I thought to Tramm with astonishment.

_"That submarine was shoddily built. Maybe fish-people aren't so bad after all, huh?" _

"_No, they're not," _I agreed. "_In fact, I think I might like fish-people quite a bit." _

"_Trident's gone, though". _

"_That's cool. If he comes back, I'll be ready. And with Aquaman gone to the surface world so much, maybe Atlantis needs a protector."_

"_An…Aqualad!" _

"_Yeah, sure, whatever."_

And we swam away home.

* * *

Mas y Menos

_"What about the twins? Oh wait, I forgot."_

"_Nacimos con siete veces la habilidad de ser mas rapido que el sonido, pero solo somos poderosos cuando nuestros cuerpos se rozan asi!" They said together._

"_Yes, we know you were born with the ability. But how did you end up on your own?" Aqualad sighed._

"_Que? No hablamos inglais," they said together again._

"_Fine, don't tell us then_."

Marianella Bauer had been very, very poor. That was to be expected when someone crosses the border to escape an old boyfriend. America was supposed to be the land of opportunity, but for a young girl with twins on the way and no green card, the only job she could find was as a test subject.

They said the tests wouldn't affect the babies. She had believed them, perhaps out of desperation. And it could have turned out much worse. The babies could have been subject to all sorts of horrible mutations. Instead, they were fast. Really fast.

It wasn't apparent at first, but when they started crawling, they seemed to gravitate to each other. And all they had to do was touch and Marianella couldn't keep up with them. It frightened her, so she kept them apart, in separate rooms, until they were old enough to be able to understand they couldn't use their powers.

Martin and Michael were energetic boys, and joined at the hip. Despite Marianella and the school teaching them English the best they could, though they understood it, they didn't like to speak it. It was like a secret language for them, speaking Spanish. Nobody could understand.

But the family had big problems. Marianella has more side effects from the testing. She felt sick all the time. It seemed to get worse every day. But she had to go to work, or the family would starve. And she couldn't afford a doctor.

Micheal and Martin skipped school a lot, using their powers to get tips from lazy construction workers and manual laborers, sometimes able to score steady jobs from a few who didn't care about the laws against child labor. But none of them lasted very long. The twin's hope was to earn enough money so their mother could stay home, get a doctor and take care of herself, but it was never quite enough.

Marianella knew about the jobs (and disapproved, but didn't really have the energy to stop them) but she didn't know the twins used their powers when they did them. She had, in fact, forbidden them to ever use their powers.

We don't know how they work and we can't afford anyone knowing! For all we know, every time you run, you could be taking years off you life! She warned them often.

But to the twins, running could never be bad. It tasted like freedom and felt like flying. It brought forth endless options…both good and bad.

Every night, the twins would have the same argument.

We're never going to make enough money. Nobody's going to cut us a break! If we don't want Mom to die, we're going to have to- 

We can't DO that, Mike. Mom would never approve. 

She doesn't have to know! Michael rolled over on the bed, glaring at his brother. As long as we don't tell! 

We can't. We can't take anyone hostage, we can't steal to get the medicine…it's not what we were taught, Martin shook his head.

So you want her to die. 

No! 

I can't do this without you, you know that… 

One day, Marianella couldn't get out of bed. The twins stayed home from school, pooled what little money they had, and got a doctor. She told them that their mother would die within the week, maybe within the day if she didn't get some serious medical attention right now, from a hospital.

Michael looked over at his brother, waiting.

Martin sighed and nodded.

Where are you two going? Marianella asked.

Out, The twins said together.

You're not going to finally do that insane plan to hold the lab hostage to get me treatment, are you? Marianella said sternly.

The twins stopped dead and looked at their mother in shock. How did you-? 

I'm sick, not stupid. I know what's going on in my own house. I also know you use your powers often. And I absolutely forbid you to steal for me. 

There was a silence as the twins stared at their mother, pale, drawn and determined. Michael looked at Martin. Martin looked at Michael.

"_Lo siento, madre…" _Micheal said

"…_pero tenemos correr." _Martin finished.

"WAIT!" Marianella yelled before the two of them could touch hands. "_Ven a la tele!" _

She gestured to the television and turned it up with her remote.

"…A monster is attacking downtown New York, killing people left and right."

You have a choice, Marianella said firmly. You can be selfish and save one person…or be selfless and save many. You know what I want you to do. I trust you to the right thing. 

They hesitated.

She glared, then broke into a fit of coughing.

We will be back as quickly as we can, they said.

"_Yo se," _ she said with a smile. _Me encanto ustedes. _

We love you, too. 

And they ran. They reached downtown New York in less than a millisecond, and swept people out of the monsters way.

Are you okay? They asked the last girl they rescued, who has almost been crushed.

"Ohmigod, that was amazing! You guys totally saved me."

" _Eh, mas o menos," _Micheal shrugged.

"Mas Y Menos? Is that some Spanish name?"

_"Que? Es no Mas y Menos, Mas O Menos! No es nuestros llamas, tambien!_

Forget it "Menos", let's go! Martin snapped.

They used their speed to create a tornado and airlift the monster to the middle of the ocean. Police 'copters converged on it from there and the twins ran home as fast as they could. But even then, some part of them knew what they'd find.

She…She's sleeping, right? 

No. No, she's not. 

They watched the ambulance haul her away, the sirens calls merging with the night.

I don't understand why you never let us get her medicine. Do you really think it would have been wrong to steal for a good reason like that? Michael asked his brother.

No. No, I didn't. But she would have. She would have hated it. 

So…what do we do now ?" the boy looked up at the sky.

…What she would have wanted. The right thing, Martin said.

Michael looked at Martin. Martin looked at Michael. And held out his hand.

"Mas y Menos?"

Michael gripped it, and everything seemed to crackle.

"Si podemos."

And they took off into the night.


	38. Green Around the Gills

A/N: Gasp! An update! Sorry guys, guess I'm a little burnt out. But everyone's been so great, and I still have stuff planned I kind of want to do, so I'm at least going to try to wrap this collection up with a bang. So look forward to twelve more oneshots, including this one to wrap up.

This particular one is related to "Animal Planet" which you can find if you scroll back in the chapters. And yes, I'm obsessed with the implications of Beast Boy's powers. I'm sorry.

Beast Boy

Green Around the Gills

I'd always suspected that I had, like, limited time remaining. When the Doom Patrol has taken me in, they'd had me checked up by this guy, Dr. Caulder. He was amazed.

"You should be dead! But your parents somehow managed to stop the reaction by…transforming you. I'm not sure how long it can last, though."

"Niles!" Rita had said.

"I'm just being realistic. Nothing like this has ever happened before. He's still infected with the disease; his parents just…mutated it…and who knows how long his system can handle the shape shifting. Germs are tricky things, it's hard to say the sakutia won't figure out a way to beat his immune system in its current strain. It could even come back worse."

"I don't understand," I said to Rita.

"Nothing, Gar. Just grown up talk. You're saying he shouldn't shapeshift?"

"No, I'm not sure if that will make a difference. Just keep bringing him to regular checkups. If something goes wrong, we can catch it."

Of course, the checkups had stopped eventually. And the next time I thought about it again was when Cyborg mentioned my genetics were unstable. It reminded me of that visit. I thought about it, and decided that if the day ever came that my borrowed time ran out, I'd just deal with it. No need to worry about it or anything, if it happened, it happened.

So I think one morning when I woke up and felt strange all over, in a way I couldn't really…explain…part of me knew. And didn't care.

"You look a little pale, BB. Like, puke green."

"Gee, thanks, dude. My insides just feel a little weird," I flopped on the couch next to Cyborg. It actually felt a little like something was unraveling inside me.

"Well, you don't seem t' have a virus," Cyborg said, scanning me with his arm. "You eat too much tofu last night?"

"Probably."

"Gross. Maybe you should lie down."

"I'm fine. I want to play our new videOW!"

"What's wrong?" Cyborg said.

My hand had changed into a paw, ripping my glove to shreds. That was weird. It had hurt too, which was even weirder. It hadn't hurt for me to change in a long time.

"Nothing," I said, concentrating and shifting my hand back. "Powers went a little wonky, I guess."

"That's never happened before, though," Cyborg said in concern.

"Maybe it's puberty. Dude, come on, let's play."

"Okayyyy…"

The game hadn't even started properly when pain shot up my arm and it turned all scaly.

"Ghhnnn!" I tried to change back, but I couldn't.

"Okay, something's wrong." Cyborg said.

"Wait…" I concentrated, and slowly the scales receded. "There. See, it's fine."

"No way. You can't ignore your powers acting like this. It reminds me of Starfire that time…"

"What, you think I'm going to develop eye lasers?"

"I need to check you out. This is serious," Cyborg scratched his chin.

"Oh, come on, you're totally overreact…ahhchhh…" I began to cough. It was like I couldn't breathe. I tried desperately to suck in air, but that only seemed to make it worse. I fell off the couch, clutching at my throat.

"B!" Cyborg grabbed me. "Oh my God…"

At the sides of my neck were gaping slits, flapping in the air. Gills.

"SOMEONE HELP! WE NEED WATER! Beast Boy!"

The world began to darken at the edges, and then it faded completely.

When I woke up, my head was in a tank of water. The problem was, just as I breathed in, I realized my lungs were back to normal.

"ACCCH!!!" I began to sputter and cough, before someone pulled me roughly out.

"He's awake!"

I shook my wet hair out of my eyes and saw Robin, Raven, Star and Cyborg standing around me.

"You okay?" Robin asked.

"Yeah…"

I looked around the cold room. Wires were attached to my body. I was hooked up to one of Cy's lab thingies.

"Those gills disappeared as fast as they came," Robin said. "It shouldn't even be possible. I mean, you've never been able to do half and half, have you?"

"Nope."

"Raven, do you sense anything?"

"No," Rae's eyebrows creased in concern as she said it. I knew then that I had to be in trouble.

"Oh…this is not good. Not good at all," Cyborg said studying the computer.

"Oh no," Starfire turned to him. "What is wrong?"

"That disease that gives him his powers. It's…"

"Mutated? Made my genetics too unstable?" I finished for him.

The team looked at me in shock. "How did you know?" Cyborg said.

"Nothing lasts forever. Kinda saw this coming," I shrugged.

"You SAW this coming?" Robin yelped. "And you didn't TELL us?"

I shrugged. "I don't really think there's anything that can be done, so…"

"Of course there's something that can be done! There's got to be someone who knows something about sakutia," Robin began to pace.

"Hey, if you can bring people back from the dead now, that would be sweet, but my folks were the only ones who ever got a cure. And I'm not sure even they could fix this." I shrugged.

"What's wrong with you?" Raven interjected suddenly as Robin opened his mouth again. "I've never seen you like this."

"Dude, can't we just forget about it? I wanna go play video games or something…" I tried to get off the table but Starfire pushed me pack.

"B, you have to take this seriously. You're gonna DIE." Cyborg said.

"Well, duh."

"I mean SOON, if we don't fix this. Raven, is there anything you can do?"

Raven shook her head. "I'm not powerful enough. If he had a cold, I could help, but something like this…"

"Wait, you can fix colds?" I interjected.

"Beast Boy…"

"And you let me SUFFER all those times I got sick? That is so not cool!"

"BEAST BOY!" Robin suddenly yelled.

"WHAT?" I shot back.

"You're not taking this seriously!" Robin cried.

"What, should I cry or something?" My vision began to blur. "Aw man…"

"What?" Starfire gasped.

"I'm shifting again. I can't see," I waved my hand in front of my face, but it was like someone had blindfolded me. Somebody grabbed my hand, and I tried to figure out who it was. When they squeezed it and I felt crushing pain, I guessed Starfire.

"What is this?" I heard Robin groan.

"I think it's a mole's eyes, but I could be wrong…"

"The virus has mutated so it can unravel his shapeshifting abilities. Soon it's going to be too much for him," Cyborg interrupted me.

"I don't want to know what that means," I shivered. For the first time a little fear managed to get through my acceptance. Shapeshifting to death. Not cool.

"I just don't understand why this is happening now…." I heard the sound of Cyborg scratching his head.

"Okay, that's it. I'm going to find someone who can fix this.." Robin's voice had shifted fully to "heroically determined".

"Robin…hey, I'm starting to see again…GaOWWW!"

"Beast Boy!" Starfire cried.

"Huh." My hand had freaked out again, only this time the claws had burst straight through the skin of my fingertips. Raven waved her hand over them, stopping the bleeding.

"I'm going to make some calls," Robin said, massaging his temples. "Take care of him."

"Dude, it…will…not…work. Nobody else has figured out a cure to this virus, okay? Nobody's gonna be able to come up with one quick enough, not if it's mutated. I've accepted this was happening a long time ago, you need to as well, okay?" I burst out.

"If it doesn't matter to you if you die, at least realize what it means for us," Robin shot back. "Nothing's impossible. I WILL find a way. That's what we do."

He stormed out of the room.

"Robin is correct, Beast Boy," Starfire said sternly. "You should have come to us sooner about this."

"It was just a suspicion…" I sighed. "I wasn't sure if it was really going to happen. Not completely. I didn't want to work everyone up over nothing."

"I should have realized it," Cyborg muttered. "But I've never seen anything like this! This is happening way too fast, it's not normal."

I could hear Robin talking, far away. Almost too well. I touched my ears. Cat.

"Is Robin calling up the entire Justice League?"

"Huh?" Cyborg said, concentrating on the monitor. "I guess."

"They're not home. Now he's calling someone else. He has crazy connections!" I was impressed, I admit.

"Hey, it's me," I heard him say. "Yeah, really. I missed you too, I'm sorry. I know, I know. Listen, I'll call you again, but I really need to speak to him. A friend of mine is in serious trouble. Where is he? Oh. Can you patch me through? Do they get reception there? Okay, good. Yes, it's that important. Okay, thanks a lot. Yeah, you too."

There was a pause. "Hi. It's Robin. Yeah, I know you know. Yes, really serious trouble. My friend, Beast Boy- you know his real name? How'd you-have you been-look, never mind. He's sick. Uh, yeah, that's exactly what it is. Can you…? What do you mean? There HAS to be a way! I know there is, I know you could get somebody. They can battle it just fine without you! ….EVERYONE'S there? No, you can't go, he'll DIE! Listen, I'll do anything. I'm serious. …Yes, even that. He's my teammate. Are you telling me you wouldn't do the same thing? …Okay. Oh, you've got to be kidding me. That's the only person…? Yes, I know it's only twenty-four hours, but you have no idea…! Yes, I do want him to live. Yes, I know you have an alien menace to fight. Okay, fine. Fine, I'll do it. He won't like it though. Thanks, I owe you one." There was a really long pause. "I know. Bye."

Robin burst into the lab. "Beast Boy, someone's figured out the cure for sakutia. But they're in jail."

"What? Who is it?" I asked.

" Louis Register."

"Who?"

"The Mad Scientist," Robin looked away.

I took a moment to process it. "The guy who freakin' turned me into an animal experiment?"

"I know, I know. But he's got some of your blood, and he's been bragging he figured out a cure," Robin sighed. "Nobody else, not even the most brilliant person, would be able to figure the cure out before your time is up, but he developed one for weeks. Br…my source thinks he can modify it for this mutated strain, even."

"No. No way. I'm not letting him near me."

"You are. I'll cut a deal with him. Reduced sentence," Robin said shortly.

"No way! You can't reduce his sentence."

"He'd probably have escaped before it was over anyway," Raven sighed.

"Look, I would never put you through this if your life wasn't on the line. You know I don't like to cut deals with criminals. But this is how it has to be. It's risky, but it's a risk we have to take."

"You guys can't be down with this," I looked around at Cyborg, Raven and Starfire.

"Beast Boy, I shall not let you perish. I shall allow anything if it will help," Starfire said earnestly.

"Word to that," Cyborg said in solidarity.

"I'll go with you to get the convict," Raven said, getting up to stand next to Robin. "Beast Boy, stop whining. You're getting cured whether you like it or not."

"But…"

"But nothing. I need someone around to mock. Let's go, Robin."

They marched out the door."

"I am so out of here," I said, but Starfire grabbed my arm.

"You are so not."

My head was hurting, like my skull was caving in on itself.

"Do the lying down," Starfire forced me to sprawl across the roll away bed.

"You all suck," I muttered.

"See, enlightened commentary like that is why we need you around," Cyborg quipped. "Seriously, stop being so pessimistic."

"Dude, I just wanted to forget about this. You're the one who's all "death by shapeshifting!"

"You know what? Tell a stupid joke. Go on, it will make you feel better." Cyborg walked over.

"I can't think of any…head hurts…" I muttered.

Cyborg exchanged a worried glance with Starfire. My arm was numb. I looked over and saw it was boneless and limp. Tentacle-y. Ew.

It was getting worse. I could feel my insides wanting to stretch, to shift, to spill out. I concentrated on trying to keep myself together, which just made my head hurt more and more. The feeling seemed familiar. I'd felt it when I was three, after getting bitten by a green monkey.

"Y'know…I got…my powers from a basilisk…. while heroically saving…kittens…" I muttered.

"Yeah, I know. You're wicked awesome." Cyborg said, ruffling my hair.

"I think I'm going to pass out. Happened…last time…"

"That would probably be best," said Starfire and I knew she was thinking of the Mad Scientist coming, and not wanting to upset me. Which was just the thing that kept me awake.

Raven and Robin came in dragging the criminal. As soon as I looked into his eyes, I knew this was a trap. Unable to speak, I tried desperately to get away, but Starfire pressed gently on my shoulder, which was more than enough to pin me down.

"Ah, the marvelous specimen," the Mad Scientist said.

"Don't talk to him," Robin snarled. "Just tell us what to do for the cure. You get near him, or try anything funny, you will go down."

"Frightening,' the Mad Scientist fiddled with his cuff, and then all of the sudden, there was pain. And no control at all. My body was shapeshifting randomly, different parts all at once, and I could only cry out as my muscles tried to jump out of my skin.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING--?" I heard my friends yell.

"Ah-ah…don't do anything rash, or I press this button all the way, and my catalyst sees to it he dies."

Through the chaos, I could barely make out that the Scientist has a tiny device under his cuff, which he was pressing.

"Catalyst?" Robin gasped.

"Yes. You see, this sickness was my doing. In case something went wrong and he was rescued, I made a germ that simulated sakutia, only it specifically attacked my subject's shapeshifting powers. Powers I plan to harness. It was set to trigger on this date, and I knew I would be called to help. The perfect opportunity."

"So, it's not the sakutia," Robin snarled.

"No, that's still dormant, and I suspect it will be so for the rest of his life…which he won't have unless you do what I say.

I saw Raven's eyes began to glow, but the Scientist smiled at her and said, "This device will explode if anyone- or any telekinesis or other such power-touches it. And the device breaking, by the way, will kill him."

Raven's eyes dimmed and the Scientist released the pressure on the button, and my body stopped freaking out as much. I hurt all over and I was shaking uncontrollably, gasping for air.

Cyborg started toward me then stopped at the Mad Scientist looked at him, his finger still on the button.

"What. Do. You. Want." Cyborg said through gritted teeth.

"To run some more tests on the boy. I was trying to figure out a way to replicate his shapeshifting ability. Imagine an army of people like him! If I can get that, I will let him live. I only kill for science, after all."

"No way am I letting you experiment on Beast Boy again," Robin snarled.

"You shall have to go through me!" Starfire yelled

"Fine, I can just kill him now, then," the Mad Scientist said smoothly.

"NO!" My friends shouted.

"Okay," I said.

"What?" the Mad Scientist and my friends said at the same time.

"Go ahead, then. Kill me." I snapped.

"Beast Boy!" Robin cried.

"Come on," I chanted at the villain. "Do it! What are you waiting for?"

"I…" the Mad Scientist stared at me.

"I knew it!" I propped myself up a little better so I could look directly into his eyes. "You're not gonna do it, are you? You can't. Cuz what if my body doesn't give you enough to figure out how I shapeshift? What if I have to be alive? You can't risk that. I know you."

"I…I…" the Mad Scientist was sweating.

"You're bluffing about the device killing him if someone else touches it, aren't you?" Robin suddenly realized.

"Um…"

Raven grabbed the device out of the Scientists hand with telekinesis, and just as soon as she did, Cyborg grabbed him and slammed him to the wall.

"You're on our playing field now," Robin said.

"Give us the cure!" Starfire demanded.

"He'd better do it quick," I muttered. "Because I….don't…feel so…hot…"

Someone, I'm not sure who, cried out my name, just as everything went blissfully blank.

* * *

I woke up groggy and hurting, but also to the greeting of my beaming friends.

"We got him to cure you!" Cyborg said. "You're gonna need to recover, but you'll be all right."

"I can't believe you saw through his bluff," Robin said, shaking his head.

"Yeah, that was…really clever," Raven marveled. "Maybe being sick improved your brain power."

I tried valiantly to think up a comeback, but it was too much effort. "I spent so much time with him, as an animal, I guess I got to know him," I admitted.

"I still can't believe you suspected you were sick and didn't tell us," Robin shook his head.

"Yeah, that's behavior I expect from…well, almost everyone else, but not you," Cyborg said sternly.

"Sorry," I shrugged.

"Well, it wasn't the sakutia, anyway. I think you're going to be around for a while. You've adapted."

"Maybe I should change my name to Adaptor Boy. Adaptor Man, really…" I mused.

"Azar, let's not get started on the name change again," Raven groaned.

"You know you love it," I scoffed.

"I am glad you are well," Starfire said warmly.

"Me too," said Cyborg.

"Okay, he needs to rest," Raven ordered. "Out, everyone."

"I'll bring you some pie or something," Cyborg called back at me as they vacated.

The door slammed and it was quiet. I did feel tired, still. But before I dropped off, I noticed the little metal device with the button my archenemy had waved around, and a tube full of what must be the catalyst they'd made him extract out of me. For no particular reason, I picked up the device and pressed the button. The liquid inside the tube bubbled, and then the glass of the tube broke open as the catalyst sizzled out, spilling everywhere.

I drew back slightly. If pressing the button all the way down wouldn't have killed me…then what would it have really done?

I guess it was good thing I'd never find out.

I rolled over and drifted off to sleep.


	39. Prisons

Robin

Prisons

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Raven asked me.

"I think I'd be the best one, and someone needs to do it," I replied. "She offered to speak with one of us, and I have the most experience."

"We could ALL go…" Starfire suggested.

"Somehow, I can't see that not turning into a disaster," I said, half smiling. "Don't worry, I can handle it. Would you rather send Cyborg?"

"Very funny," Cy grumbled.

"I'll be back in time for dinner," I assured them.

The wind blew hard as I trekked through Jump City. I could see people rushing past me, hands placed firmly on hats to keep them from blowing off. My own cape whipped in the wind frantically. It was the sort of gray depressing day that wasn't too common in this part of the country. It reminded me of Gotham, a little.

I was headed to the house of Bethany Snow, who had recently written some scathing editorials condemning our vigilante actions, particularly since most of us were underage. I had initially waved it off as nothing, but she seemed to actually getting attention. Town officials had actually been having discussions about us, and it was even discussed on a national talk show!

Considering myself the best equipped for this sort of thing (Raven was level headed enough to handle the press, but I was afraid she might be a little too...blunt. Beast Boy and Starfire would have no idea what to do and Cyborg's hatred for reporters was well known) I hoped to talk to her and maybe convince her to back off. She had accepted my offer to come over. She seemed very nice on the phone, actually. Which led me to wonder, what did she have against us?

I knocked on the door of the brownstone she'd given me directions to, and a woman with mousy brown hair opened it.

"You must be Bethany Snow," I said, extending my hand.

"And I don't need to be a detective to see you're Robin," she said, shaking it. "Come in."

I did, and settled down in her comfortable living room. I couldn't help but feel a little self conscious, there was something about the way the place looked that made me check to see if my steel toed combat boots had scuffed her wood floors.

"Would you like anything to drink?" She asked me.

"No thanks. Ms. Snow, I'd like to talk about your articles."

"You get right to the point," she said, sitting down across from me. "Not that I'd expect anything less. People tell me you're all business."

I tried to backtrack, remembering my own wariness of being blunt with this woman. "I've read them. They're very well written…even if I don't agree with the content."

"Thank you."

"You did an awful lot of research."

"I try to be accurate," Bethany said.

"I noticed some subtle…jibes in the article too. You seemed to imply that my friends and I…had some, uh, psychological problems."

"Everyone has psychological problems, Robin. Are you saying you're an exception?"

"No, it's just…" I sighed and readjusted myself on the seat. Whether she liked it or not, I had to get to the point. "Why are you doing this, Ms. Snow? Why are you going after us?"

"Please, call me Bethany. And I'm doing this because I care about you, believe it or not. I think that you are hurting yourselves and other people."

"But we help people!" I exclaim in frusturation. "We save lives!"

"At the risk of your own," Bethany points out.

"Well, yes, but that's our choice."

"Why did you make that choice?"

"What?"

"Why are you a superhero, Robin?"

"I want to help people," I felt uneasy at where she was going with this.

"You could become a policeman. Or a doctor," she said. Her expression never seemed to change.

"As a superhero, I can do things policemen can't."

"But should you?"

"What?"

"What gives you the authority of the police? Policemen have someone to answer to. You don't."

"Of course I do! I have this city, myself, other superheroes…"

"Oh? What about the time you were blackmailed into doing criminal things? Have you ever answered to anybody for that?"

I felt like she had punched me in the gut. "I…I explained…to the city. And I had to answer to my friends…"

"Honestly, Robin, what concerns me is that you were able to get into that situation in the first place. A million horrible things could have happened as a result of that. And nobody would have been able to stop them. Because you are allowed to operate on your own. You could have been killed, right there. What would have happened then?"

"My friends would have stopped Slade. See, that's why we're needed. So we can stop people like Slade. And we did."

"Until he returned and manipulated another member of your team. Miss Tara Markov, perhaps the ultimate illustration of my point about why a team like yours shouldn't be allowed to operate."

"H…how did you find out her real name?" I stuttered, flabbergasted.

Bethany shook her head. "The girl left a trail of destruction wherever she went. It was remarkably easy to trace it back to the source. She turned to stone because of her superheroics. She nearly blew up the town. It wouldn't have happened if we hadn't allowed her to be a superhero."

"Whether there were superheroes or not, someone like Slade would have manipulated Terra and exploited her powers. The fact that we were there…and by "we" I mean mainly my friend Beast Boy…and able to convince her to stop her destruction saved her and the city."

"Perhaps you have a point. But think about this, Robin. Would Slade have even come to this city if it hadn't been for you?" Bethany drummed her fingers on the arm of her couch and locked eyes with me.

I stared at her, not sure what to say.

"The presence of a superteam here is probably what attracts half these "super" villains."

"Supervillians would still be around if the superheroes quit. There would just be nobody to stop them," I argued.

"And by "stop them" you mean put them into jail after destroying private property in your huge fights, until they inevitably escape so you can have another round of blows?" Bethany snapped.

"Would you rather us use lethal means?" I replied.

"I'd rather you see that this cycle of violence is seriously flawed and not working at all! You're publicizing supervilliany by engaging in these fights, and just adding more fuel to the fire!"

"These supervillians are threatening people! We have to rescue them and we can't allow them to die!" My voice was getting louder, and Bethany responded with her voice getting quieter.

"You hurt them more in the long run with your fighting and misuse of power. And we haven't even touched on the fact that you and your friends are living this bizarre, and frankly unhealthy lifestyle."

"What, because we want to help?"

"You know you have motivation beyond that. I've been studying superheroes for a long time, and one of their motivating factors that pops up again and again is tragedy. I know that's the motivating factor for your friends who don't have secret identities. Meanwhile, you were exposed to all this at a very young age, forced into it-

"I was not, I ASKED to be-

"Does this make you feel better about yourself? Help you keep whatever guilt and anger you feel towards people in your past, at Batman, at anybody at bay when you should be dealing with these feelings? Is this some sort of bizarre therapy for you?"

"NO! I want to HELP!" I'd been with this woman a half hour and my head felt like it was going to explode. "I…look, being a superhero? It SAVED me. It's given me so much…great friends I wouldn't trade the world for, the feeling of doing something…WORTH it. I was so lost before, but now…it's helped me DEAL with this guilt and anger. It helped me grow up. It's good for me, and it's been good for my team mates. So maybe it is therapy in a way. But it doesn't involve keeping things inside. It involves making a contribution to the world and working through you're problems. It feels like the right thing to do."

"And what if you'd taken another path?" Bethany cut in. "You're a smart kid, Robin. You could be in school now, preparing for college. You could do so much good besides beating up supervillians."

"It feels like the right thing," I repeated.

"That doesn't mean it is."

I put my head in my hands. She was verbally destroying me. I hadn't felt this disoriented since…well, two day ago when Mumbo had hit me on the head with a pipe.

Bethany apparently felt sympathy for me, because she said "Come on, let's take a walk."

The wind had died down a bit now, and the sun was peeking through the clouds. It reinvigorated my debating skills a little to be in fresh air.

"Really, why are you doing this? Lots of reporters live in this city and they don't bother us," I said, while listening to the rhythmic beat of her boots against the sidewalk.

She sighed. "I used to live in Gotham, just like you. I grew up there."

"Really?" I was amazed. I mentally cursed myself for not doing any research on her before coming to talk.

"Yep. When I was sixteen, that's when the Batman showed up. Before you came along. And he'd just keep fighting the Joker, and he'd put him away in Arkham, but two weeks later, the Joker would escape and kill more people. I just started to wonder, when would it stop? Was this really helping anybody? Then, just before I finally got out of that godforsaken place, you showed up. He was dragging a child into this."

I stopped on the sidewalk facing her. "It was my decision. I had to practically beg him to do it."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize grown men could be bossed around by ten year olds," Ms. Snow rolled her eyes.

"Actually, I was almost elev- I would have done it with or without him. You don't know what it was like for me. It was because of his training that I did survive. He was a great mentor."

"Then why did you leave?" Bethany said bluntly.

"I'm sorry, but that's none of your business."

"It IS my business to make sure you don't continue to put yourself, the team, and this city in danger though, Robin."

"Stop." I grabbed her arm as she moved to walk ahead of me. "Just stop. Listen to me. I've learned everything while doing this. I've learned about myself. About my values. About what it MEANS to do what I do. Maybe it is a little crazy. But I look at my friends and who they are and what they've been through, and I think it's worth it. Every time I save somebody's life, I think it's worth it. I didn't invent superheroing, so I don't know what came first, the superhero or the supervillain. But nevertheless, there are villains out there. And if the Teen Titans suddenly stop protecting this city? They will strike. They will strike harder than ever. I don't know about prisons, and escaping. I don't build the prisons. That's not my job. Maybe you should look into that, instead of us. All I care about is saving people. Maybe in the long run it does hurt more people than save them, but I can't see that. We may make mistakes, but others will always be there to correct them. We do have other superheroes to answer to. For me, this is about saving as many lives as we can, stopping as many crimes as we can. Maybe it is about me, a little, saving myself as well. But so what? I do what I do because someone has to. If in the end, I die, saving someone else? It's worth the trade to me."

Bethany Snow stared at me. The wind had started up again, harder than ever, and it made her long brown hair slap against her face. She pulled away from me.

"That was a very nice speech, Robin. I almost believed you. But your logic is flawed. You're speaking from the point of view of a damaged person who was raised to believe this and vehemently believes in giving up normalcy in order to serve some freakish "mission." And I'm going to save you."

I snorted. "Oh, so you're the superhero now?"

"Don't patronize me-

THOOM.

THOOM.

"What the…" Bethany muttered.

"The wind! It's getting stronger!" I actually felt the wind pulling me back. Bethany screamed as she began to slip and skid backwards against the force of the gale. I grabbed her arm and got out my grappling hook, shooting it into the side of a wall so it kept us both stationary.

"What's going on?" Bethany yelled, looking out at the horizon. "Oh my God! What it that?"

"A giant robot," I said, squinting up at the gargantuan silver apparatus.

"I know that! It was a rhetorical question!..What are you doing?"

"Getting out my birdarangs," I replied shortly.

"How is that going to help?" Bethany had the look in her eyes I recognized, the look people gave me when they thought I was insane.

"RESISTANCE IS FUTILE, BOY WONDER. I WILL PUFF AND PUFF UNTIL I BLOW YOUR CITY DOWN!" The robot boomed.

"Who writes this guy's lines?" Bethany groaned. "And why are you still trying to throw your throwing thing?"

"Because. I know what to break to stop the wind," I snapped. I couldn't raise my arm enough against the crushing wind to throw. In fact, the stone wall I had my grappling hook locked into was beginning to crack against the strain. I had one option. My remote controlled birdarang. With a great effort I reached into my utility belt and punched in the trajectory.

The birdarang did its job, even against the wind. The specially designed weapon cut through, punching into the hull of the robot exactly where I wanted it. The wind stopped, just as the wall holding us steady finally broke apart. Bethany and I fell back hard against the pavement. As the dust cleared, I could see a young boy emerging from the rubble of the robot. He was about my age, and I recognized him as an intern at STAR labs. He looked livid. And he had a bomb strapped to his chest. Suicide bomber. Wanted to use the robot to be dramatic, but had a back up plan. No telling why, for the dramatics or wanting to destroy the city. Didn't matter. Had to stop him.

I jumped up and tackled the boy, ripping the bomb away from him. Surveying it, I knew what type it was. I had to defuse it, and in fifteen seconds. I could do it. I had to. I opened it. Saw which wire I had to cut. It was booby trapped somehow, so it would electrocute whoever defused the thing. Would my body armor stop it from killing me? I wondered. I supposed it didn't really matter. I popped some scissors out of my belt.

"Robin! You can't do that, you'll-

Snow had run up behind me. She saw the trap. Was there anything she didn't know about?

"Remember that thing I told you? It's worth it." I said simply, and I snipped the wire.

Pain shot through me and I fell to the ground. But I was just stunned, not dead. Thank you, body armor.

"You! You ruined…everything!" The tearful boy was suddenly looming over me. And he had a rock, ready to bash my head in. I couldn't move…I couldn't defend myself…he was going to kill me.

Bethany punched him in the face, knocking him flat on the ground. Then she took off her shoe and kept clobbering him until he was finally unconscious.

"Are you okay?" She said, helping me up.

"Thanks to you. That was an excellent punch." I rubbed my head.

"Had to take some self defense classes as a kid. I lived in Gotham remember? It's a good week if you didn't get taken hostage on the way to the grocery store down there."

"I hear you there," I smiled.

We sort of stood there, staring at each other. I tried to smooth my hair, which was no longer spiky thanks to the wind storm. Bethany massaged her knuckles.

"I always wondered about that "punch first, ask questions later" policy you heroes have, but now I see its advantages." Bethany admitted. "And it…thank you for saving me."

"It's my job," I shrugged.

"And a job I still don't completely approve of," Bethany reprimanded. "But…"

She looked at the unconscious boy. "I think I understand…somewhat. Now."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I think you truly are compassionate for others, Robin. I just wish…"

"I do too," I said gently. "Believe me, as much as it's done for me…I do wish I didn't have to do this."

Bethany put her hands on my shoulders. "Just promise me you'll try to go to school or something sometime. Try to take off your costume for once."

"I'll think about it. I'll think about our talk today too. But will you still write stories about us?"

Bethany sighed. "I'll try to keep the reprimands down. In fact, I'll do you one better. I'll write a story about what happened today. Not a retraction, but I'll tell people your side. And I'll tell them you have a point."

"That would be great."

"I'll interview this guy too. He had a reason for doing this, however feeble it may be," she gestured at the unconscious teen. "And maybe I'll dig up some dirt about those easily escapable prisons like you suggested."

"I'd appreciate both those things." I shook her hand.

"Take care of yourself. I meant it when I said you had a future."

"I'll try."

"Robin!" Cyborg car zipped up, weaving through the rubble. Starfire, Raven and Beast Boy landed beside me. "We came as soon as we could, Beast Boy got blown away and I detected some other bombs in the city…"

"Others?" I rubbed my head. "Thanks for stopping them. I've got the perpetrator here."

"What's SHE doing here?" Cyborg sneered, glaring at Bethany, who stared levelly back as him.

"Cool it, Cyborg. She saved me from this guy," I said as Raven bound the boy with her magic as he began to awaken.

"She did? Thank you, Bethany Snow!" Starfire shook the reporter's hand, and Bethany winced.

"Uh, no problem. Please let go of me."

"Apologies."

"She's promised to stop writing negative articles about us too."

"Whoa! I didn't believe you when you said you could convince her to do that so easily!" Beast Boy marveled.

Bethany raised an eyebrow at me. I shrugged sheepishly. "It's a gift."

"Good luck, Teen Titans," Bethany Snow said, tucking her hair behind her ears and adjusting her collar. "Sadly, I think you'll need it." She walked away.

"And I thought I was a pessimist," Raven said glibly.

"Oh, the clouds of grayness! They are gone!" Starfire exclaimed looking up into the blue sky.

"Yeah. Doesn't look like Gotham anymore. Looks like Jump City," I said proudly.

"Well, time to repair the Tower again," Cyborg said, beckoning us into the car.

"The top got blown off," Raven told me.

"Stupid supervillians, wrecking our House of T," Beast Boy grumbled.

"BB, no matter how many times you call it that, it is not gonna stick. So stop it." Cyborg snapped.

"Okay, geez!"

The radio beeped.

"Uh oh, looks like Mumbo's wrecking the bank," I said.

"WHAT? We fought him two days ago! Do they just, like, leave the prison gates open or something?" Beast Boy lamented.

"I wouldn't be surprised," Raven muttered.

"Now come on, it's not that bad," I said cheerfully. The rest of them stared at me. "No, really. Let me tell you about a place called Arkham…"


	40. Self Fufilled

A/N: At last, the finale. I was considering not finishing this at all, I'm just very burnt out on it, but at midnight last night I suddenly felt incredibly guilty and decided I had to do four more one shots to round this off. So I began to write them all in a composition book...then the power went out. Then I sat there for a half hour fuming. Then it came back on. Then I wrote these. They are a lot shorter than originally planned (THESE STORIES WERE IN MY HEAD YEARS AGO IT'S INSANE) But here they are.

Raven

Self Fufilled

I was alone. Finally.

They'd all worried about me for ages. Their words has seemed hollow, if not heartfelt.

But now sitting on my bed, in my dark and gloomy room, I realized it was just a part of me that was hollow now. And nobody could ever fill it.

I needed some tea.

I floated out into the pitch black hallway, careful not to wake anyone. I set the pot on the stove in the kitchen, slowly and methodically.

And as I watched the water boil, hot tears seemed to boil inside me as well.

No, I would not cry. I could not cry. Who knows the devastation that could unleash?

I stirred the tea, feeling the metal spoon heat beneath my fingertips. I floated over to the couch and sat there, cross legged.

I sipped the hot drink and tried to fight my feelings.

But a few tears and a stifled sob still slipped out for the mother I would never see again.

"Raven?" Starfire appeared out of nowhere. I barely had time to sense her before she arrived, I swear.

"Why're you up?" I muttered.

"You are crying," she said, as if that was an answer.

I looked away.

"Raven, we will defeat your father, I swear it. He will not hurt-

"No it's not…" I shook my head, still not meeting her luminous green eyes.

"What is it then?"

I didn't answer.

"Raven," she put her hand on mine. "You promised there would be no more of the secrets."

She had accepted me even upon hearing of my heritage. I owed her this.

I took a shaky breath. "My mother. Trigon killed her."

A gasp. A hug, surprisingly gentle. And silence.

Until.

"Tell me of her."

So I did.

I told her of Arella, a woman who had lost her way, who had fallen in love with a demon. But with strength I could not imagine, she had defied him. She had taken me to the peace of Azarath. And though we had barely been together or spoken in my time there, I'd known she loved me. And that she'd feared me.

My mother had been lost. My mother had been weak.

But she had defied my father.

She had protected me.

Now she was gone. And I had to protect myself.

And I had to be as brave as she was. I had to defy him. Even if it meant paying the price she had paid.

Starfire murmured words of comfort, of empathy. She had lost her parents too. She was so sorry.

I just looked at my hand, and at the symbol still burning there, bright red in the darkness.

* * *

I could feel my friends around me as I ascended the stone steps, which arranged themselves in my path.

Beast Boy and Cyborg were in a state of shock and disbelief. Part of them was convinced that this was a nightmare they would wake up from, that it couldn't possibly be happening.

Robin was angry- angry at me and angrier at himself. He felt that he'd failed somehow. That he should have done more to save me…and the world.

Starfire was already in mourning, wracked in grief and pain for her friend.

And me? I knew what I had to do. This was a no win situation. Either Slade would have killed my friends, and taken me by force (I knew I could not hurt him) or…this.

Giving in.

At least this way, my friends could survive a little longer. At least this way, I'd given them gifts to fight back with…and I could only hope they'd survive and maybe even forgive me someday.

At least this way, there was a chance.

As I floated, cross legged, glowing, hurting, chanting, I held onto their faces. All five on my friends burned in my mind. Each happy memory. Each small token of affection.

I felt the pain building up inside me. The penny dropped. It was all I could do to keep my friends panicked thoughts out, to have my last memories of them be happy ones. Manufactured, even.

I felt myself ripping, tearing, from the inside out.

I felt him coming.

And then I shattered into a million pieces.

* * *

I knew five things as I woke up.

I knew that I felt like I'd been torn into wet, messy shreds and put back together clumsily with scotch tape.

I knew that I was small.

I knew that I was helpless.

I knew that bad things had happened to me that I didn't want to remember.

And I knew a skinny boy with gravity defying hair dressed in Christmas colors had just entered the church door, and it was time to run.

* * *

"Raven?" Beast Boy poked his head through the doorway to my room.

"What?" I answered. I was sitting cross legged on my bed,

"Just making sure you're…okay."

"What, because I caused the end of the world, killed my father and ate one of you hideous tasting tofu bacon strips?"

"Yeah," he sidled in.

"I'm very well, actually," I said, almost smiling.

"So you did kill your dad?" Beast Boy scratched his head sheepishly. "I couldn't really tell…"

"More or less. I think I might have even absorbed a little bit of him into my soul," I touched my abdomen lightly. "So he'll always be a part of me. Even gone."

"Or…maybe _you'll_ be a part of _him!" _ Beast Boy said brightly.

I stared at him for a second.

"…What does that even mean?"

"I'm not sure, but it sounded super inspirational in my head," he muttered.

"Uh huh. Well, go away now. I need to meditate."

"Okay," Beast Boy made for the door, but stopped. "Um, Raven? I'm really glad you're alive and stuff."

"I'm glad you're alive too," I replied. "And thanks. For being there. At the end."

"Sure." Beast Boy opened the door, but knocked over one of my magic powders in the process.

"Oh no!" he squealed. "Dude, I am so sorry…"

"Relax," I told him smiling slightly. "After all, it's not the end of the world."


	41. Family Ties

A/N: This is a follow up on TTG #46, a story about Starfire's brother Wildfire.

Starfire

Family Ties

For an uncertain reason, I woke up screaming.

Even more perplexing, my scream was stifled my somebody's hand over my mouth.

My sister's hand.

"Mmmff!"

"Be quiet, Koriand'r."

"Blackfire!" I gasped as she removed her hand. "You escaped!"

"Duh." Blackfire rolled her eyes, looking perfect as ever. "You really thought that place could hold me forever?"

"Sister, I am going to place you back in incarceration this instant!" I snapped, rising from my bed, hands and eyes aglow. Silkie grumbled at the disturbance.

"Uh huh," Blackfire put her hands on her hips. "Do you seriously think I came here to get locked up again?"

"I do not know WHY you came here…"

"Ryand'r is alive. I knew that before I sent the imposter of him after you."

"Wh…what?" I stammered.

"You know how I've traveled. I saw him on this planet, Thangar. You've heard of it. He's been adopted by a family there after he crash landed. He's perfectly happy and healthy and has no idea who he is. They call him R'zzz. I considered killing him, but you had already banished me at that point, and since he didn't know anything, it didn't seem worth the effort," my sister examined her nails blandly as she said this.

"You…you are lying. Like before," I said uncertainly.

"Here's a hologram I took of him. And here are files confirming his location. Have your little boyfriend analyze them. Or go to Thangar yourself, I don't care." She threw the items at me. I caught them.

I switched on the hologram. A boy who looked very much like I would imagine Ryand'r too, in Thanagrian clothing shown. Holograms were nearly impossible to fake.

"Why…why would you do this for me?" I said, looking at her in awe.

"Because," Blackfire replied. "You've always been willing to forgive me. When I sold you into slavery. When I betrayed you. When I fought you. But when I used your brother to trick you, you said I wasn't your sister anymore. And you meant it. If you find Ryand'r because of this information, would you forgive me again? For everything?"

"I…I suppose so…" I stammered.

"Good. That means I can still play you like a Zarg horn," Blackfire gave her most winning smile. "That always comes in handy."

She floated out my window.

"Wait!" I called angrily. "I cannot allow you to leave!"

"You want to wake up your friends by fighting me? Besides, we'll meet again, sister. We always do."

* * *

She flew away, leaving me frozen in shock, watching her retreat until she was merely a glimmer in the sky.

I found Ryand'r in the Thanagrian market. My eyes welled with tears as he walked by me.

He gave me a passing glance, and then did a double take.

"Are you…?"

And I ran to him.


	42. Blood Brothers

Cyborg

Blood Brothers.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Cyborg?" Robin asked me.

"Yeah," I said. "I just need to see him. Ask him something. Won't be a minute."

"I'll wait outside, I guess," Robin obviously disapproved, but after the two of us had just mended from our schism, he wasn't going to push it.

I sat across from the man, staring at him through a thick pane of glass.

"Blood."

"Ah, Cyborg," he said through a vindictive smile. "Missing my already?"

"Shut up. I just…have to understand. Why did you need to control me so much you'd…do this to yourself?" I gestured at Blood's robotics.

"You still see it as an disfigurement, where I see it as an enhancement. Poor boy. But since you asked, young Sebastian Blood was taken by a cult one. He was experimented on and forced to do horrible things. They did everything they could to control him. It's only fair he should get to control everyone else as revenge."

Whoa. Third person thing aside, he sure gave that information away easier than I thought he would.

"You'd have found out eventually," Blood said blandy.

"Stay outta my head!" I told him angrily.

Blood smiled like a hungry shark. "Never. Any other questions?"

"Uh, yeah. Why'd you threaten Jump City with a tidal wave? I mean, what was the point?"

"To get your attention," Blood said simply.

"To get my- that is SICK!" I spat.

"As sick as your parents quizzing you on particle physics over dinner?" He replied lazily.

My heart nearly stopped. I stood up quickly. "How…how did you…?"

"Cyborg, I've memorized your schematics, blueprint, FILES. I know everything about you."

"You can't…"

"Victor Stone, age 18. Mother Eleanor stone, now passed…"

"That is IT, I'm outta here!" I turned away, knocking over my chair. "Have fun rotting in jail, ya monster!"

"Father, Silas Stone. Estranged…"

"SHUT UP!" I screamed over my shoulder. "You don't know anything 'bout me!"

"Oh, Victor," Blood called as I left the prison. "Of course I do. We share the same technology. We're brothers!"

As I joined Robin, outside the prison walls, I lied and said I was okay and that everything had gone fine. But somehow, impossibly, I heard Blood finish his sentence in my head.

"…And we always will be. Be seeing you, Stone."


	43. Finale

A/N: I would like to thank everyone for your support, patience, critisism and wonderful reviews. You guys rock. I couldn't have done it without you.

Finale

**Robin**

Sometimes I go to Gotham, and just sit on the street in civilian clothes, and watch everyone go by. Nobody there looks happy.

Sometimes I dream I'm Batman's sidekick again. Sometimes I dream my friends have left me and I'm all alone. Sometimes I dream I'm alone with Starfire, and everything's just right. Sometimes I dream I'm in the circus again, at home amongst the bright lights and neon colors.

Sometimes I dream all crime has vanished from the world.

And I don't know what I should do anymore.

* * *

**Beast Boy**

Sometimes I go visit the Doom Patrol, and we play Go Fish like we used to when I was little. It was my favorite card game.

Sometimes I dream I'm doing stand up comedy and everyone is booing. Sometimes I dream the whole world is green, and I fit right in. Sometimes I dream I'm in the jungle again, with my parents. Sometimes I dream I'm having a pizza party with my friends.

Sometimes I dream death doesn't exist anymore.

And everything goes on forever.

* * *

**Raven.**

Sometimes if I meditate hard enough, I can speak to my mother, for a few seconds. I don't know if she's real, or a hallucination.

Sometimes I dream I'm trapped in Azarath, and none of the monks can hear me when I talk. Sometimes I dream I'm a normal girl called Rachel, and I live in the suburbs and I hate it there and I wear fishnets for some reason. Sometimes I dream I can't walk and my friends have to carry me everywhere…I hate it and I think they'll drop me, but they never do. Sometimes I dream everybody is laughing, and so am I.

Sometimes I dream I'm in love.

But with someone I can't explain.

* * *

**Starfire**

Sometime I will go to that warehouse my sister once took me to. I will sit there and watch the people dance, and wonder how she fit in so easily.

Sometimes I dream I never kissed Robin, and cannot speak English, so nobody on Earth understands me. Sometimes I dream I did kiss Robin, and never stopped. Sometimes I dream I go back to my planet, but they have changed so much they do not want me anymore. Sometimes I dream I am a queen.

Sometimes I dream I can speak perfectly, and I am not gullible in the least.

Yet I am somehow not happy.

* * *

**Cyborg**

Sometimes I'll go by my old high school and watch a football game. The team is pretty good.

Sometimes I dream I never had the accident, but I twisted my leg in a game, so I couldn't play anyway. Sometimes I'll dream my grandparent visit town, and quiz dad on vaudeville acts while he's trying to invent gravity. Sometimes I dream I save my old girlfriend Marcy from a speeding train, but she's too busy laughing at my cybernetic implants to care.

Sometimes I dream I'm leader of the Titans.

But I feel bad bossing everybody around.

* * *

But no matter what we dream, we always have our friends to wake up to.


End file.
